My teenage daughter is a huge disappointment, has been from birth, I’ve just lost more hope now. I don’t like most of the things about her. If I could go back in time and not have her, I 100% would.
My oldest child, now 14, was born with an “irritability diagnosis”, which is a nice way of saying she has a deeply horrible personality.
She hit milestones early, so I always thought she was smart. We started therapy and medications for her early. I’ve always held out hope that she’ll get better because, well, you have to as a parent, and because you don’t know what will happen as they develop.
There have been times where I have genuinely liked spending time with her, times that I’ve loved being her parent, proud, grateful, all of that.
But. And these are the teenage years, so I haven’t totally given up hope. But. I just can’t stand her. When she’s not being verbally rude or stealing from us, she just vomits the most vapid shit.
It’s like she somehow became incredibly stupid. She’s made TikTok into her personality. She doesn’t read or do any school work. She’s mean and selfish. She’s also gross; doesn’t bathe and leaves pads and tampons all over her room.
I’ve been in therapy for a couple of years for two reasons. One is that I want to not feel this way. I want to like her. The other is that I feel like I can’t support her like I should and want to if I feel this way. I spend time with her and model all the things you learn in therapy.
I listen and try to be fair. She’s not who I want as a kid. I wouldn’t mind a “stupid” kid, as long as they were kind. I look at people who have neurotypical kids…I’m so jealous. I cry at church when I see other people’s ‘normal’ kids. I’m so angry and sad. I just hope she can keep a job when she turns 18, so I never have to live with her again.