It’s no news that my(21M) mother prefer my sister(18F) “Betty”. It’s always been like this. The reason is that I’m the split copy of my dad, appearance and personality, while my sister is way more like her.
It never bothered me much in the past, but the more I grow up the more I realise that it’s not just tiny differences, but more like if I’m not wanted at all.
My sister 18th birthday is coming by the end of the month and I never felt this upset about the differences our mother make.
She’s throwing Betty two parties, one with her friends and one with our family. The family one is a surprise. She asked me to find out what Betty would like to eat so that she can cook all her favourite foods and she has made a reservation in a really fancy place to hold said party.
The “last straw” was this morning; I went grocery shopping with mom and she asked me if a necklace with a diamond is an appropriate gift. “She’s turning 18 after all, it’s fair to get her something nice”.
The conversation went south quick when she asked for comparison “what did I gifted you for your 18th?” “Nothing”
And it really was nothing. She said that if I wanted a party I had to pay half, but I had no money to spend at the time so I decided not to have one. She said that “my gift for you would’ve been the party but you decided not to have one”. Pretty unfair if you ask me, but I’m not a big party guy anyway so I didn’t think much of it.
I feel kinda bad and confused because it never bothered me and now so suddenly I feel jealous of the way my sister is treated.
I don’t wanna be cold to her or our mother out of nowhere (also because it’s not Betty’s fault), but idk it just keeps popping up in my mind and I can’t stop feeling upset.
I think I’m justified but I still wanna hear some external opinions and maybe if you have some advice on how to get through this it would be appreciated.