My (F18) mom’s friend (M40+?) is making me feel uncomfortable
I turned 18 3 weeks ago, and since then my mom’s friend has been “joking” about dating me.
Ever since literally the day after my birthday, my mom’s friend has been making comments about how I’d be the perfect girlfriend, and how he’s amazed I’ve not been “snatched up” yet.
He’s one of my mom’s oldest friends and he’s at our house at least once a week. These comments weird me out heaps, because… he’s old enough to be my dad and I’ve known him since I was a baby.
I spoke to my mom about this and she said that he’s just joking and I should take it as a compliment. All guys joke like this, and it just means he thinks I’m pretty.
The issue is that… its gross, right? Just because I’m 18 doesn’t mean I have to date, and it definitely doesn’t mean I want to date someone that old!
I’m really not sure how to handle this, because no one else seems to think it’s a big deal. What should I do?
Some things he’s said:
- You’d be the perfect girlfriend!
- You’ve got to find yourself a man to take care of you.
- How are you single? You’re beautiful!
- I’d have snatched you up in a heartbeat.
- You need a real man!
- What I wouldn’t do with a girl like you.
- If you ever need someone to take you out, you know where I am.
He’s a predator and your mom is enabling him. I wouldn’t put it past her to orchestrate a situation where he can ambush you into being alone with him.
Sometimes you have to be blunt. Make him and your mom as uncomfortable as you’ve been made to feel. Your mom is not being a good mom in this – dismissive of this creepy MF behaviour and is continuing to give him access to you in your home. You have anywhere else you can go?
Tell her you don’t feel comfortable around him and that if she could arrange it so the two of you are never in the same place together, that would be great. She doesn’t have to confront him or anything, just stop inviting him over when you’re there. Stay low-key and try to sound reasonable. If that doesn’t work, try to avoid him and definitely don’t be alone with him until you can move out.
Dafk? Is your mom a time traveler from the 1950’s? She must be Gen X and know better than this, wth is wrong with her. It’s NOT normal and it’s beyond creepy! Your mom needs to put a stop to it or you need to by telling him straight up that a grown man doesn’t “joke” like that. Sometimes a young adult has to set 2 immature adult brains straight.
Tell your mum you don’t want to hear that an old man thinks you’re pretty and that she’s bias and a weirdo for not recognising this as the gross behaviour it is.