Please tell me what I am mixed with what i want to know.
Have been feeling rather immense emotion distress at the end of pregnancy because will be facing the jeopardy risk between upsetting the in-laws and feeling comfortable living under own maternal care until collection of BTO keys to move into own house
Feeling 100% rest assured with own mum to help me with my confinement and my newborn care but still feel pressure with the husband parent who has made their stand that straight to move out from own mum house right after confinement period (in my case 2 months later)
Rational of married daughter should stay with the husband family but to be frank at this stage not feeling any comfortable with staying the in laws even though there is no significant conflict yet and there’s definitely drastic family dynamics and cultures and upbringings between two families.
Got to admit that maybe I’ve taken lightly when it comes to just prior to dating and once married with a kid and living with the in law family there’s bound to have many adjustments to adapt to.
Maybe I could share it here in the platform in the hope of lightening my concerns before going for delivery soon and the transition of returning to work after maternity leave .
Things maybe I’m not feeling assured is the in law family dont really cook and I am brought up in a environment where home cooked food is so essential in daily life and especially with a kid coming along , eating out often is not something I would want.
The in law family is also retired with certain health conditions so as a daughter in law certainly when it comes to eating expenses and other common expenses will need to think throughly.
With the fact that sometimes will feel rather not so lively living with the husband as the only son in the family where can see once dinner settled everyone will cooped in their room while my own family will stay at the living room and have small chat with one another. With also the father in law the only one doing the household chores only once a week is also an aspect I will need of way to adapt to.
Although all this has never been really brought up directly to the husband as the husband currently don’t see as issues.
It could have been seen selfish choice that even my own maternal parent would think that I just want my own kid to stay at my maternal place because of course comparing in terms of better living quality arrangements there’s no hesitation to have my kid to stay at maternal place with also my other siblings to oversee their nephew.
Relentlessly my compassion parent also have dropped hints to my husband should at least stay in with his own parent on certain days as well as dutiful son duty which I also perfectly fine living separately sometimes just because I’m not ready to face drastic living arrangement
Because my in law parent has also been giving in to my husband certain things they rather not nag extensively ( which now I feel is a also a problematic stuck between their family)
With curfews and excessively smoking all this has been cut down and also been obliged to keep fit by doing light exercises with just only living for less than a month in my maternal parent house his current living lifestyle is something I’m quite proud in secret.
Hopefully as times goes will see how I can feel more confident and comfortable in facing the in law parent situation without feeling overwhelmed just because the in law parent is excited to upbring their grandson while feeling a little disturbed that his parent is foster parent which something that the in law has never shared with me until my husband opened up with me.
Of course regardless of the fact , I will always respect them as elders and with no doubt my own maternal mum has also advised me to look at things at brighter side and especially as a mum to be need to learn to face new change with opening hearts.