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Monday, February 26, 2024


So my husband is 29 and I’m 23. He’s from China and I’m a local Singaporean so let me know if you think this is cultural. We have a 6mo/F baby who’s amazing. Generally calm, quiet, doesn’t cry too much, etc.

So in the past, I would take care of her when she woke up throughout the night and then when she woke up at 6 am. I pitched a fit about having to do that so now he gets up in the night and I take care of her in the early mornings. It looks something like this:


6am-10am: I take care of her while he sleeps and she’ll take her 1st nap 10am-10:30am: I have to wake him up and he often does not want to and procrastinates getting up. Gets in a bad mood if I wake him up too “forcefully”. 10:30am: she’ll usually take her 2nd nap.

11:30am: she wakes up and we take care of her “together”. “Together” meaning he’ll change her diaper or help me if I ask him to. 12:30pm: he’ll cook and eat lunch and I’ll cook and eat my lunch. I take care of her while he eats and cooks and while I eat and cook he lets her watch Chinese baby shows.

2pm: he takes her to have a nap with him together 3:30pm: he goes to the gym alone and she wakes up near this time 5pm: he comes back 6pm: get her ready for bed. 7pm: bed He works Friday from 3:30pm-10pm and Sundays from 10am-3:30pm. He also is the one who changes 80% of the diapers and puts her down for her nap 80% of the time to give him credit.

This morning she was refusing to sleep for her 1st nap so I went upstairs to ask him to help me get her to sleep.


He didn’t want to wake up and didn’t answer me. I turned her camera monitor up so he could hear her crying. He got pissed, grabbed it and muted it and slammed it down. I grabbed it, walked over to the dresser, turned it up to max volume and slammed it down.

He woke up pissed and yelled, “What?! Do you not want me to sleep?!” So I got pissed and started getting our baby ready for a car ride which was my last chance at getting her to take a nap.

Before I left, he finally came downstairs and grabbed her car seat and started to take her out (to take her upstairs to try and help her sleep). I was pissed enough I said, “that’s not stopping me.” And I left still, drove around for a while and came back once I was calm. They’re asleep together upstairs

Am I wrong?

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