My boyfriend always asks if I finish after we F and if i say no he becomes too upset to try and help
I (f18) and my boyfriend(19) have been in a relationship for 6 months now and we F maybe 2 times a week. Our life in the bedroom is positive and healthy until the moments just after him finishing.
Each time he asks if I finish and if I tell him no he becomes upset and turns away from me, leaving me to either finish myself or I end up not in the mood anymore.
I’m not bothered whether I finish or not as I enjoy the intimacy between us, but i’m beginning to be turned off by the idea of making love due to how he acts afterwards.
I try and encourage him to help me finish but he puts no effort and I just end up spending 10 minutes consoling him. I can’t remember the last time I finished but I can’t lie to him saying I did when I haven’t.
He says he feels a lot of pressure to perform when we get intimate in the bed but I consistently reassure him that it’s okay and just to enjoy the intimacy together.
I know he has self-esteem issues which we are working on together, but i’m tired of the way he acts after it. Is there anyway to help and stop him from feeling like this way? Advice is appreciated!
Netizens’ comments
- Sounds like you’ve tried the soft touch… maybe some tough love? I’d start with “why are you asking if you don’t want to help? Do you actually care more about me finishing, or a self-esteem check for you?”. He needs to man up and let you help him help you. I guarantee his self-esteem will improve, a lot, once he’s making you come however you want/need.
- He obviously doesn’t care about your pleasure, just his ego. It’s all about him, isn’t it? Try to implement the “she comes first principle” or find yourself a man who can fulfill your needs.
- I would suggest that instead of asking if you finish, see if he will ask if you are “good”/”satisfied”. That is what my husband and I do. Because like you said you don’t need to finish in order to be happy.