Husband is boring in bed
I (29F) have been with my husband (30M) for 5 years, sleeping together longer on and off. He is gradually getting worse in bed.
All of our good sessions are with me initiating/riding/controlling the session. If I ask him to dominate me and take control, he gets nervous and does weird things (pokes me, awkward thrusting that doesn’t feel good at all).
He acts very inexperienced sometimes and it is truly strange to me because he is not.
This is pretty new as he used to be better at basic penetration. I have explained what I like many times and he doesn’t listen. He is just not intuitive.
I’m not sure why the basic things that used to feel good are getting worse. He is angry when I tell him.
He has no interests and doesn’t watch adult videos etc. it truly seems like he doesn’t have much interest in intercouse, and it definitely ends when he comes.
I regularly give him BJs and HJs to the point of coming and he never returns the favor
Is there an article I can send him that he can further his bed moves? Trying to help him verbally is doing nothing for me
Netizens’ comments
- Have you tried encouraging him? It sounds like he’s being criticised a lot.
That’s not going to do much for his confidence and it will be a downhill slide everytime he feels like he’s not good enough.
Try praising the things he gets right, maybe even go a little bit OTT to build his confidence up.
If someone always feels like they’re doing something badly, they aren’t going to want to do it - Giving him reading isn’t going to do anything for someone who seems to have lost their interest in your pleasure. If you can’t talk about it, then giving him a book or article to read won’t do anything either.
Meanwhile, there can be so many explanations of what’s going on. The fact that he gets angry isn’t a good sign but either he’s bad at receiving constructive criticism or he’s been storing up frustration and/or resentment over something. Again: if he won’t tell you, then you can only stumble in the dark, guessing. - You say he’s “gradually” getting worse in bed. That implies that has a level of ability that he is slipping away from. My guess is that something is going on with him, and it’s likely psychological. If you flat-out said he was just bad, then I wouldn’t say this, but you describe an ongoing regression in his ability.