My husband is an extremely expressive and affectionate man who will shower me with “I love you” and “I miss you” daily. Even if we just met that morning, he will text me “I miss you” in the afternoon.
On the other hand, I can’t. I almost never send such messages or say these things first, and I even find it hard to say I miss you. The only time when I really felt that I miss him was when we were still dating and our busy schedules kept us apart for about 2 weeks. That was when I told him “I miss you so much can’t wait to see you”
Apart from that, I am not a very caring person as well, I realised this because I don’t show much care and concern even to my own family and friends.
Someone can post an extremely emotional post and I wouldn’t comment or get in touch, my husband can injure himself (so far only minor injuries) like hit his shin against the bed frame, stub his toe, or I accidentally elbow his stomach but I wouldn’t feel inclined to be like “omg are you ok?” and show lots of care. Instead, I’m like “you see la, tell you don’t run into the room” or “be more careful lei”
I sometimes wonder do I have a problem? Do I not love him enough that’s why I’m like that? Or is it normal to be not expressive? I feel bad because I do love him, I just cannot bring myself to lovey dovey with him like other couples do, and it’s sad that he cannot receive the same kind of affection he gives me.
Here are what netiezns think:
- There’s many forms of love language. Some use actions like hugs, some use words, acts of service etc. You can google and understand more.From the things you say like “you see lah…. ” it reminds me of my parents who would say similar things to me when I fall down as a child. Basically who you are now as a person, how you react to things, is basically how you were brought up as a child, your experience growing up in situations like these resulted in who you are. There’s no right or wrong way. Basically for me, my husband is the lovey dovey one when we got tgt and I would cringe fr it. Bcos my parents aren’t the ones who would shower me words of affection but rather the tough love sort. But over the years, I appreciate what my hub do more for me and the love language from him. Everyone loves differently. And it’s ok!
- It’s ok sis. My wife also like that, different people express love differently.When I tell her “I love you”, she will reply “k” or stare at me and say “You got other woman!”. I think she feels my overwhelming love! Just that she dunno how to reply because she’s no good in words. I don’t mind. I think your hubby won’t mind too.So It’s perfectly ok not to be expressive in words. There are different love languages, acts of service is also a way to express your love for each other.