Just wanted to share my experience with my mother-in-law, because I feel like I need to write this out before I finally close this chapter. Super long, but I hope my story entertains someone at least…
Bluntly speaking, I hate my mother-in-law. I’ve been married 2 years and it’s not gotten better. For context, my husband is Chinese Singaporean and I’m not (my exact race is irrelevant). We dated for a few years before he proposed and all those years, not once did she show me any unkindness. After getting married, while waiting for our BTO, we moved in with her first (supposed to be for just 10 months, and we only lasted 2 weeks).
She’d wake me up at 8am for no reason at all, except “Daughter in law should be awake before parents in law. No need do anything, just be awake.” Meanwhile, my husband would sleep in. She bought me my own hamper because she said “*my race* needs to be separated from her family — who are all Chinese”. Whenever I’d eat food, she’d take photo and send my mom, and say “This isn’t a Chinese diet. No wonder she’s getting fat”. And many other stories. So, 1 week in, we started quietly looking for a room to rent. When she found out, she said really crude things like… I was stealing her son away / I must’ve fed him nasi kang kang to brainwash him, etc. Then she texted my parents, “I regret letting your daughter marry my son.”
That day itself, we moved back with my family instead — slept on my parents’ couch for 2 weeks until we found a place to move in to. My MIL continued sending harassment messages. Like, would tell my husband “I’ll beat her up when you’re not at home.” It was too much.
I’ve kept myself generally low contact. I can’t bear to call her, Mom, and after all the insults she’s hurled at me – These take the cake:
1. For Guo Da Li and Si Dian Jing, she said I didn’t need to receive it because I’m not Chinese anyway. But whenever she asks for things, she said I must give it because I’m marrying Chinese now.
2. I asked her, why she was so kind all the years I was a girlfriend. She said, even if I was his girlfriend for YEARS, it would be okay. But marriage means I must become Chinese. The man must always be followed.
3. She visited us once and I was scrubbing the toilet floor while my husband was wiping the fridge (chores day), then she scolded me for making her poor son clean. WTF.
4. My family paid for the wedding and she got more than half of the tables – she said my family providing for me is the reason I’m so spoiled, and dont know how to spoil her son instead. During the wedding, my parents, my father in law, all went around taking photos and stuff. She refused to greet people because she had no escort — her wedding or what?? People commented about her, and our wedding photos has pics of her frowning, looking sleepy, playing phone games… and she says we never give her face??
5. But finally… last night, my grandfather (who was visiting us) had a seizure. My husband updated his parents, and instead of sympathy she told me to “throw” my grandparents back to my mom instead. I told her she had no sympathy, and she said “So what?”. I’ve decided to cut her off. I blocked her on social media and messaging apps.
She’s been calling my husband non-stop and insulting me, my upbringing, and is telling him, she regrets giving birth to him, and if he doesn’t go back to her soon, she will jump off their HDB flat.
There’s so many more things but I can’t type them all. I’m tired. Is it wrong if I just genuinely dont care? I dont know how much disrespect I have to take.