I pressured him too much about sleeping with me and now he wants to leave
I really messed up. We were long distance for a year and now are together. I (38F) am insanely attracted to him(38M) and want to sleep with him all of the time. His libido is not the same.
I’ve made comments that to me were in jest but were really hurting him. I swear, I would never intentionally hurt him but he thinks I was.
He says my apologies mean nothing. And he hates when I cry when I was the one who was wrong. So what do I do now? How do I fix this?
Edit: I realize there is no way to come back from this and what I did is far from ok. I’m not going to ask him to stay, he deserves better. I cried for 2 hrs at work and he got even more angry when he saw I had been crying. Thanks everyone
Netizens’ comments
- What to you is a compliment to him (that you want him all the time ) has to him become something of a burden of expectation . Try starting right from scratch again like you were first dating and rediscover what was so good without any pressure on one another . There sounds a lot of good here that would be a shame to lose .
- You need to accept that you might not be able to fix this. You’ve been making these thoughtless comments for who knows how long without noticing how much it’s been hurting him, and thats shown him that his feelings are not a priority to you. If its come to the point where he has had to physically point out how hurtful you have been, anything you could do at this stage might be too little too late, and you need to come to terms with that, and the fact that that’s on you. Coercion is never okay and its never a joke.
- Don’t fix it; let it go. You’re not compatible and you’re not going to BECOME compatible. You’ll be sexually frustrated and walking on eggshells with him forever. Go find someone who wants intimacy as much as you do.