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Friday, February 23, 2024


Am I turning into this old menopausal qia zhar bor with frequent mood swings?


U remember in school how we used to joke about our female teachers who are spinsters and anyhow scream at the students who can’t seem to behave properly in class? Well, as I age, I fear that I’m becoming like one of those monsters.

I live in the same house as my parents, sister and bro in law. My annoying BIL is nothing but a leech – earns peanuts, prefers to sleep instead of spending time with son, doesn’t pay for anything related to the son and of course doesnt contribute to household allowance. Despite that my parents wash his clothes, cook his meals, does housework for him etc. He’s like a handicapped baby even though he is 40s and a father himself.

So with all the inflation happening, the family has been trying to be thriftier recently. Which includes switching off the lights and fans when not in use (very common right). BIL would just waltz into the bedroom, turn everything on, then few minutes later walk out to the living room switch on the tv, and conveniently forget that the bedroom lights fans and aircon are on while he sits in the living room for hours. I always just go and switch everything off fuming inside silently because idw to sour relationships. This has happened so many times I lost count. Few times I came back from work to see ALL the lights at home switched on, because BIL “forgot” to turn off before leaving house.

He also has many bad habits ingrained in him that are so undesirable – not washing his own bowls after eating, throwing his dirty clothes all over the floor and on the chairs expecting ppl to pick up for him and put into the washing machine, not brushing his teeth nor wash his face nor comb his hair in the morning before going to work, leaves his soiled tissues on the bed, not locking the main door after leaving house, he has never changed his pajamas and his bath towel since moving in with us 6yrs ago etc etc. I could go on and on about his nasty habits (as I typed this my BIL has just finished eating his dinner and left his utensils on the dining table, the fan full blast on when no one is there, and didn’t keep the dining chair that he was sitting on). Sometimes I really wonder why my sis fancied him back then. ????


One fine day I just lost it and lashed out at how freaking useless, irresponsible, unclean and messy he is, 40 yr old father alr still like that, none of his friends behave like him, it’s time to man up and step up like how a family man, head of a household should behave. I guess I also got tired of picking up the slack after him (as well as that of my sis who has started becoming like him and treating our mum like a maid). My sis actually retorted that this is the reason why I am still single – because i am too fixated, I want things done my way and I make mountains out of molehills, if I can’t swallow my pride of having to wait on a guy, then guys will never find such a strong independent woman like me desirable.

I must say this has stayed on in my mind for awhile – just like how ppl say unmarried men age like fine wine while unmarried women are just left on the shelf and there MUST BE something wrong with them which is why they can’t find their better half (and that’s usually due to foul temper). Why can’t this all boil down to family upbringing on the part of the male, and instead it always seems to be the women at fault? Am I really becoming this nasty unreasonable spinster that all single unmarried women turn into once we hit 30?

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