I (F27) was a sugar baby during my schooling days. Should I tell my now boyfriend (M27), 7 years later?
I was a sugar baby when I was 20. It was a horribly traumatic experience and something that truly haunts me to this day.
I met up with 1 man, one weekend a month, for 5 months before breaking it off. We hooked up and slept together, he gave me money and bought me a ton of stuff.
When I ended things he was not happy, he wanted to tell all my friends and family since I kept it a secret from all but 1 friend. To this day only that 1 friend knows. He reached out to me 1 year ago via text letting me know he still has my number and would like to reconnect. I didn’t respond.
It is hands down the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I don’t know why I did it, the money was nice but I wasn’t in desperate need.
I’m sure there are some self esteem/ deeper issues at play but I can’t even tap into them. Definitely something I need to work out with a therapist but overall this is something that’s blacked out in my mind.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and we live together, moving towards engagement soon. Do I disclose this to him? I know there’s a gray area with telling someone your entire past and keeping some things to yourself. He’s very conservative and would NOT take this well, I don’t know what would happen if he found out.
It’s a semi concern this man is still harbouring feelings after all this time. Is this something I take to the grave and forget about? Or is this something a future husband needs to know about?
Fml, please help me not ruin my current relationship by being a stupid broken girl when i was younger.
- This is information you need to share with him.
It is his right to be in a relationship with someone that aligns with his world view, or rather to have all the information if not and then to be a choice rather than one made for him.
You clearly regret bad choices and are trying to make better ones, but that feeling does not justify keeping him in the dark. Despite some advice you may receive, it is not “just a job” to many people, men and women. It has a lot of baggage that cannot be dispelled for the salving of feelings.
You may find that he can live with this, no problem. Men are not a monolith. You may find the bigger issue is sitting on the truth for so long and how it may suggest you are sitting on other things of note.
If you love him then surely you will let him have the freedom of choice, just as you exercised? Do the tight thing.
- Speaking as a very conservative minded man when it comes to women. That wouldn’t bother me at all. You did what you had to do. There are no videos on the internet of you. You don’t do it anymore. If I were to scold anything about you it would be you are an idiot for not changing your number.