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Friday, February 23, 2024
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WOMANIZER FATHER ABANDONS KIDS AND REFUSES TO GIVE THEM MONEY

What should I do?

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I’m 23 years old and a 3rd-year student in a university. I grew up in a single income family. My dad made the choice to womanize and abandoned 2 young kids than with my mom. He tells everyone else he has no money but he posts on social media pictures of him travelling all over the world while eating food. He refuses to pay anything for my younger sibling and my education, living expenses etc. He used to pay a bit like $1k every 6 months when we are much younger like in primary school. He cut us off officially financially when I’m 18 years old telling me straight in the face that we are “ a burden to him “ while he is smoking. He barely fed us, clothe us but expect us to give him an X amount in future so he will sue us for the maintenance thing.

Please tell me, is it not parents’ responsibility to bring kids up since they are the ones who chose to have unprotected S?

My mother is a strong woman in everyone’s eyes. She single-handedly brought me and my younger sibling up. She refuse to believe it but the divorce tore her up and the lack of financial support from my dad. She worked hard. Working endlessly. To support my younger sibling and me. Whenever she’s sad or being emotional, she will use emotional/mental abuse like guilt tripping, manipulation, gaslighting, etc. This is her way of being human after being strong for so long. I’m often the target as I’m not academically inclined since young as compared to my younger sibling. At times it really gets into me. I would cry and beat/bite/scratch myself thinking I’m not good enough. With all the negative thoughts. Basically self harm, i know. I went to counseling once but stop as i was worried it will affect my future career prospects. Like will the employer be judgmental when they found out? At times i really want to move out but it’s not sustainable in Singapore as prices is so crazy expensive.

So i can only endure and suck it up. That’s my coping mechanism for a long time.

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Before anyone bash me up saying i should suck it up as everyone have a coping mechanism and i should understand, what about me? Who will think of me?

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