So obvious trigger warnings //
Backstory, I was maybe sexually harassed? last night by a friend and his friend. My friend and I just got to know each other a few months ago through a club and the conversation very quickly turned sexual. I was fine talking to him about it because I know I’d talk to my non-binary and female friends without an issue and I viewed him purely platonically so it never bothered me.
That being said, he kept mentioning how he had a friend who’d love my body and kept joking about me texting him every single day for WEEKS. He’d even send me blurred out nudes of his friend that I’d expressed I didn’t want but would give into because he kept asking me. Essentially to get him off my back I’d play along with everything sometimes but seeing as he would never stop asking me, I finally agreed to text his friend last night.
Within the HOUR this friend of my friend had asked to send me pics of his D multiple times and then started to describe touching himself to my texts? This is where I turned my phone off and started crying.
The next morning I texted my friend that I blocked his friend and would not be entertaining any more of this. He let me know that his friend would still pester him about me but I asked him to set a boundary as my consent is not there.
Despite all of this, despite knowing it’s not my fault … I feel like I asked for this to happen to me. I have been assaulted before by an intimate partner and this made me feel so similarly – but even then I blamed myself.
I feel like I just should’ve known better than to text in the first place or to engage in any of this conversation with my friend when he clearly did not understand my boundaries. I’m so worried about my reputation in this club we’re both part of, especially as my ex was ask a lady of iy, and I know that’s a huge reason I tried to brave through it and pretend I was ok with it.
Why I’m posting this here is also because I genuinely feel like this event will cause anyone new I date to feel repulsed but me and my actions. It’s causing me to spend any texting interactions with the guys I’m talking to thinking about how I need to tell them what an awful and weird person I am to have facilitated something like this.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m so sorry if this is the wrong sub but it’s literally making me feel like I have this awful secret now that I need to tell people. Will people I date actually be repulsed by what happened? Have I even done anything wrong?