Throwaway for obvious reasons because my friends all follow my main. Also, if you’re reading this, Wei Lun, you’re a legend but also a complete cb.
So, I’m in Bangkok last weekend for a “boys’ trip.” We’re staying at a decent hotel near Sukhumvit. You know the drill—a lot of Singha, a lot of nonsense, and eventually, some “external talent” gets invited back to the room.
Now, anyone who goes BKK often knows the Standard SOP. You don’t leave your valuables lying around when the “chicken” comes to your room. Even if she looks like a K-drama lead, you don’t know her life. The risk of her “fishing” your cold hard cash or your credit cards while you’re in the shower or… occupied… is real.
To be safe, I took my wallet—stuffed with about 15,000 Baht and my Singapore IC/Credit cards—and passed it to my buddy Wei Lun. He was staying in the room right next to mine. I told him, “Oi, help me keep for one hour. Standard SOP ah, later she fly away with my money.” He laughed, called me a “kiasu turtle,” and took it.
The Mistake.
I finish my “session,” the girl leaves, and I’m feeling like a king. I go next door to get my wallet back. No answer. I call him. No answer. I start panicking. Did he get kidnapped? Did he go for his own “session” and forget my wallet?
Thirty minutes later, I find him in the hotel lobby bar. This fellow is absolutely gone. Drunk as a kiting. There’s a bucket of beers on the table and he’s treating two random tourists he just met. I look at the table—MY WALLET IS SITTING RIGHT THERE. Open. In a public lobby. In Bangkok.
I grab it and check. My 15k Baht? Gone. Down to 2,000. This idiot used my cash to “pay it forward” because he forgot it wasn’t his wallet. He thought he “found” a stash of cash in his pocket and decided to be the King of Sukhumvit for the night.
I tried to get angry, but he just looked at me with those glazed eyes and said, “Eh bro, why you take that guy’s wallet? I treating them leh.”
I wanted to save my money from a “chicken,” but I ended up losing it to a “pigeon” (my bird-brained friend). Moral of the story: The Standard SOP is meant to protect you from strangers, but nothing can protect you from a Singaporean friend who cannot hold his Thai beer.
Never again, man. Next time I’m just going to hide my wallet in the toilet cistern like a normal paranoid person. BKK truly is a place where you lose your money and your dignity, one way or another.
TL;DR: Tried to be smart by passing my wallet to my friend to avoid getting robbed by a working girl in BKK. Friend got drunk and spent my money treating strangers at the hotel bar instead. Safe to say, the “chicken” was more honest than my best friend.