I cannot make this up. I’m sitting here at Jewel Changi, having a pre-flight meal, and I am genuinely questioning the future of our nation.
My cousin (21M), let’s call him “Jay,” is finally taking his first flight ever. We’re heading to Bangkok for a short getaway. He’s been a pampered “North-East side” boy his whole life—never went for overseas school trips because of the pandemic, and his parents always did “staycations” instead.
So today, we’re checking in, and Jay looks genuinely pale. I thought it was just flight anxiety. I told him, “Relak lah, it’s just two hours plus, it’s like taking the MRT from Pasir Ris to Tuas Link but with better seats.”
He looks at me, leans in, and whispers: “Eh, I saw on TikTok that some budget airlines don’t provide safety gear. Do I need to go Decathlon and buy a parachute now? Or can I rent at the gate?”
I stopped chewing my prata. I actually looked around to see if we were being pranked for a “SGFunny” video. He was 100% serious. He showed me some brain-rot “travel hack” video where some influencer joked about “BYO Parachute” to save on “Safety Fees.”
I told him, “Jay, if the plane is going down from 30,000 feet, your $49.90 Decathlon bag is not going to save you. Also, how are you going to open the door? The pressure will suck you out like a bubble tea pearl.”
He then asked—get this—if the parachute counts as carry-on luggage or if he needs to pay for extra cabin allowance.
I’m actually losing my mind. This is a guy who has a Degree, knows how to crypto-farm, and can edit 4K videos on his phone in ten minutes, but he thinks Singapore Airlines (or even Scoot!) expects passengers to skydive out of a Boeing 787 if the engine stalls.
Is this a Gen Z thing? Are they so chronically online that they can’t distinguish a “POV” satire video from actual FAA regulations? He’s spent so much time in the “metaverse” that he’s forgotten how physics works in Jurong.
I told him if he asks the air stewardess for a “parachute rental,” I am going to pretend I don’t know him and migrate to Thailand permanently. If you see a tall guy face-palming at Gate C20 later, that’s me.
TL;DR: Gen Z cousin thought planes are like GrabHitch but with skydiving. Common sense has officially left the chat. Clear for takeoff, but my brain is crashing.