Long term live in boyfriend only wants me when he’s drunk
My (25f) long term live in boyfriend (26m) and I only ever have intercourse when he’s drunk. He doesn’t initiate any physical contact or affection EVER when he is sober – not even a hand hold or a cuddle or a kiss on the cheek.
When he’s had a skinful however he decides that then is the time to try and ask me to F.
Whats worse is I always agree even when I don’t want to cause it’s the only time we ever get any physical intimacy
My self worth is in the gutter – am I that awful that he has to be drunk to want to touch me?
And I know people are going to come for me like “do you ever initiate?”, and the honest answer is no, I don’t. But why would I want to f him when he doesn’t even want to hold my hand or give me a hug when he’s sober.
Any advice or stories from people who have experienced similar would be greatly appreciated
Netizens’ comments
- Refusing to initiate affection tends to lead to your partner doing the same. It’s unhealthy on top of unhealthy. Talk to him about it without accusation if you can. If he blows you off, kick him out and move on or live with it. If he doesn’t, maybe you can resolve it.
- The other question is, did you discuss it with him when sober?
Maybe he has some sort of mental block when sober that he can only « overcome » when alcohol lowers his inhibition. For all we know, maybe he built his own doom and gloom scenario in his head, where he assumes you aren’t attracted to him since you never initiate. Or could be a mental block coming from being raised in an affection negative family.
Or it could be something else entirely, only he knows. - Doesn’t sound like either of you are mature enough to be in a relationship. Not with each other at least.