I’ve been struggling with mental health for a while now. I haven’t been the best boyfriend to her and I know that. In our year together we had a miscarriage and an abortion.

We were very safe, and we found out the reason she ended up getting pregnant is that her method of birth control wasn’t effective. When we figured this out she changed methods. I was a mess after the miscarriage as was she.

I wasn’t there for her. We were broken up and I am very lucky she took me back after. I was really mean to her, and said some unforgivable things like accusing her of impregnating herself with a jar of my man juice.

I was a douche, to say the least. We got back together too fast. I felt really guilty and I ended up not treating her the way she deserved. She ended up getting pregnant and this time it was healthy. This completely shattered me.

I’m not ready to be a parent, and I’m in no mental state for that. I told her that if she ended up having it I would hurt myself or worse. She seemed really distant and we argued a few times. She didn’t let me go with her to the appointment because I upset her two days before. I accused her of faking the pregnancy. My mental state got even worse and for my sake, I couldn’t have her in my life anymore.

I broke up with her and told her to sort out her pain. I know it’s harsh but it’s what I needed. Now she won’t leave me alone, and I’m considering a restraining order against her. She’s said some really hurtful things regarding my manhood and I don’t need to take her abuse quite frankly.

A netizen wrote a respond to a cheating bf post.

Here is the story:

I am in the same situation. For context, i was in a rlnship and had a bto with my ex but we broke up. Reading your post, i don’t find you picky but more of looking for a husband material bf.

In my case, my deal breaker was the emotional immaturity (of course both parties have faults as well). I was willing to stay by him and slowly guide him through but He wasn’t willing to grow and bridge the gap, though i was. Even counselling cannot help. I spent countless nights in tears because i was so sad that we could have something great but it couldn’t work out, it ended up affecting my work, my friendships etc. And plenty of sacrifices because he was not earning as much and i wanted to ensure that we have a sustainable future tgt.

Until finally, under the encouragement of my friends, i took a step.

Since the breakup, i no longer have to endure such hurt or pain and am actually excelling in my work again (previously my boss was worried as it was obvious my performance went down). I am getting a condo too on my own, when previously, i had to worry about him as well (since split ownership). Bobian, have to make lemonade out of lemons.

Of course, like you, i worry about loneliness and being left on the shelf etc., but after this process, i realised, finding a correct partner is more important, regardless of age.

Just want to let you know, plenty bash you for being picky or not staying by a man etc.

Don’t let that get to you.

Being happy is the most important. My entire relationship looked like a fairytale on the surface but it was abusive emotionally and physically behind the scenes.

For all those commenting on how she shld just tolerate or lower standards, let’s be honest here. It is not a woman’s job to make her man feel like a man. She is not a lifelong nanny to look after a man and guide him to grow or be better in whatever aspect or heal. And even if she does, lets face it, not every guy is willing to take that step.

And yes, probably the good men are snapped up so we have to decide if we rather be alone and excel or deal with someone that potentially is a deadweight. I made my choice, jiayou!

P.s. We can always go SDN tgt and check out the market!

Basically, I’m 18 and I have to look after my younger siblings for three hours every Saturday while my stepdad works and mom goes to the gym and whatnot. I don’t enjoy looking after them. They’re annoying and bratty and because their dad isn’t home they think they can do what they want. Any attempt of discipline is met with hysterical crying and screaming when mom gets home.

I hate it. I feel so burnt out. However, I can’t just refuse, as my stepdad is using my phone as a bargaining chip. If I don’t do it, I lose my phone permanently.

Which would be much of an issue, except my real dad lives overseas and currently has cancer. It’s the only way I can keep in contact with him, and I’m terrified he’s going to die and I won’t know if they take it away.

It’s also the only way I can talk to his family, who I miss a lot.

This whole situation has been getting increasingly worse. I feel burnt out all the time. I hate having this responsibility.

On Saturday I sat them down and told them I am done being a second mom. I will not be taking care of the boys anymore, no matter what. Stepdad of course threatened to take my phone away, which devolved into a fight, where I accused him of trying to destroy my life.

He told me I ought to be grateful because he’d “let my mom keep me” instead of tossing me into foster care with the other ungrateful brats. Two of his bio kids are in foster care because their mom died and he gave up his rights.

I turned to my mom and asked how she felt comfortable with him abusing and parentifying me. She got her hackles up and stated that babysitting is a normal teen duty, and I should be grateful I get any reward for it at all, as most teens don’t.

Since then tensions have been high. He’s constantly going crazy and mom keeps telling me it’s my fault, and I ought to apologise for hurting his feelings.

My real dad is telling me I need to smooth everything over, for the boys sake. I disagree. I think my stepdad needs to realise I’m not his live-in maid. Dad told me I’m no better than him, letting the kids suffer, knowing I can fix it.