So I and my wife have been together for 4 years and we are extremely comfortable with each other, nothing ever really grosses us out with each other. She also gave me permission to post this.

A few weeks ago, my wife pang sai herself. She was laughing, ate something she shouldn’t have, and it just happened. She was a little embarrassed, but later we laughed about it together and have made multiple jokes about it.

Recently we were at dinner with mutual friends of ours and she started laughing. I told her to be careful or it’ll happen again and she stopped and got really quiet and embarrassed. She was pretty reserved the rest of the night and when our friends left she shut herself in our bedroom, saying I had really embarrassed her and it was mean to make jokes about it without asking if she was ok with joking about it with friends beforehand.

She told me I needed to apologize to her for embarrassing her, but I told her we make jokes about it all the time and I don’t see a difference.

I wrong meh, I thought she like it when she pang sai in her pants.

Here are what netizens think:

• Joking alone with your wife about something is vastly different than humiliating her in front of friends.

• How could you even begin to think you’re not the AH? Do you not see the difference between a private joke between a couple and a private joke that has been exposed (and thereby exposing your wife) to the world?

My boss takes all of the credit for my work – and now the CEO said my imprint on the org is lacking.

I am a director at my organization, and I am constantly busy 24/7. Multitasking is my strong suit, so I take on many different projects and do a ton of work for the VP and the director beside me. I’m a team player, and I enjoy leading.

Today the CEO told me that not only does she have no idea what I’m working on, but she has no idea how I fill my time.

She said that her perception is that my time is not filled, and that she never hears my name. She said that when she thinks of me, she doesn’t see the impact I’m having on the organization and never hears about anything I do.

I am completely taken aback and sickened by this. I give my all 24/7, even outside of regular hours. I also help people from other teams because again, I’m a team player.

I didn’t want to throw my boss and my colleague under the bus and say that I do all of their work, so I just kind of listed all of the projects that I’m working on. What should I do?

This really hit me where it hurts tbh, because I try so hard and give so much. I can’t believe it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Produce documentation regarding what you worked and throw them under the bus. F ’em. They knew what they were doing, let them sleep in the bed they made.
2. This is a lesson you have now learned the hard way. There is no “noble” in all of this–you can’t just be “humble” and let your work speak for itself. It doesn’t happen in any environment. “Humility” is not a recognized quality. You need to do everything you can to talk about your work–and you need to learn to do it in a way that comes off as natural, and not overly boastful.
   “Give me that report so i can present it to the CEO.” –your boss
   “Oh no problem–I already emailed it to you.”
   What you didn’t say was that you CC’ed the CEO in the email, and you wrote “Here’s the report i made for you, and some good notes outlining the highlights. Hope this is helpful. And then make sure your authorship is embedded on every page of that report.
3. “Hi CEO, I appreciated our conversation yesterday, because it allowed me to realize that I may not be getting credit for the work I’ve done. Here is a list of projects etc and numbers I’ve improved over the last six months and below that a current list of the projects I’m actively working on.
   I hope this email provides clarity on my input to the company. As you know, I’ve been here X years and very much enjoy the work I do, and would hate to be looked over because my work is not properly recognized as my own.
   In the future I’ll be sure to put my name on these projects more clearly.”

In the last two weeks or so, sometimes at night I will hear banging and stomping from the flat below ours. This usually happens around 1 am when normally the whole building is silent. It’s interesting because no one lives in that apartment. The elderly woman who occupied it since before we moved in sadly passed away very suddenly last month. She actually slipped on one of the steps in front of the building when it was wet outside, and died right in front of our place.

I wrote off the noises as my imagination the first few times since I am very much a believer of the paranormal so I am known to get overly excited about these things. That was until my boyfriend and I heard the noises this morning. He confirmed they were coming from directly below us. As a huge non-believer, he said it’s likely a window was left open in the apartment below, and that the wind is causing it to open and shut. He didn’t sound very confident though, because you could clearly hear the sounds moving around the house, not just from the wall where the window would be.

I went downstairs to try and see if there was a shadow through the window and check if there are any movement inside. However, there was no sign of life whatsoever. To make it weirder, you can see my building clearly from the playground just behind, and when I walked up there earlier, it looked like the windows in the apartment below us were fully closed.

With two person hearing it I was very sure that I am not overethinking and I really think that someone or something is in there.

What should I do the banging is really a bit too loud. I’m afraid that if i interfere too much it might come visit my home instead.

All these advice about asking men to go gym, workout, pick up a sport, stay buff, just to increase your chance of getting a girl. You know how it makes fat people who can’t slim down feel?

I’m fat ok. I have a pot belly and I’m not even 30. I try to exercise but I work really long hours, sometimes I just want to go straight to sleep when I get home.

I eat whatever is served to me at work so I cannot afford to be choosy as I don’t want to pack cold lunch boxes. I eat whatever my mother cooks because I am not a picky eater.

I wear glasses and didn’t get contact lenses or want to do lasik. I hang out with a lot of older people due to my job. So I really have not much chance to meet girls.

Sometimes they joke about helping to matchmake me with their daughter or niece. I never took their offer seriously.

I know this girl from another friend. I find her very pretty. She works in the beauty industry so she is always well groomed. We spent a lot of time messaging before meeting in person.

I grew to like her but I was worried because I can tell she is barely half my size. I didn’t want her to meet me out of pity so I didn’t ask her out a second time. We continued to message each other often. I really enjoyed talking to her.

The next time we met with another friend in tow. She asked me why didn’t I ask her out and she wanted me to accompany her to this place after we split with our friend.

I guess I didn’t get the hint as I thought she only thought of me as a friend. She held my hand and told me she like me.

Now I’m happily attached for the last 6 months to this gorgeous girl. I’m sure she didn’t fall in love with my pot belly first.

I met her parents and they accepted me. She’s not a princess, she is very understanding and kind hearted. My parents approve of her too.

I don’t earn a lot, I’m not good looking, I’m not a smooth talker. But I’m genuine to her. So don’t give up guys. There is always someone out there for someone like you.

A netizen shared how she has had acne breakouts for years and it has left her with scars on her face, and people always comment on her acne and ask her “why your face liddat”.

Here is the story

I have acne breakouts for years until now and it had left scars all over my face. I have heard many people commenting on my face.

Children and classmates asking me “why your face liddat?” I know they don’t mean it but I just don’t know how to answer them.

Also adults and elderly recommending me products. All of this comments were still ok for me.

But what really affects me or made me very angry was that there was a guy (I think he is a student around my age?) He kept staring at me in the mrt and said “your face so oily, so many scars, so ugly”

I was angry but I didn’t said a single word at that point of time…

Can people please think before they speak or just keep it to themselves. Words hurt you know?!

Netizens’ comments

Unfortunately, it’s one of the uglier aspects of Asian culture. Somehow people have no filter here. They love to point out your weight gain, pimples and see no issue with it.

I once had a friend from the US who had some skin issues, when he came here he also said the same thing. Lots of people comment on it, tried to tell him to wash his face more, try this cream, try not eating X and eat more Y. He said he was quite taken aback at first as stuff like this is taboo to talk about in western countries. But he realised it’s just the Asian way of showing “care/concern”

That kid saying that stuff in the MRT is out of hand though. I would’ve given him an earful.

I have a friend in our group, he is the go-to guy for everything money related. He got his first 100k net worth at 22 and is now on his way to becoming a millionaire. He is 100% self-made la.

So recently I am getting married and thinking of getting a nice watch to commemorate this occasion. I was looking at an IWC or Tudor watch.

I shared with him this and also my wedding plans and all. He paused and asked if I wanted advice. Of course, I said yes la.

He told me, to stop spending my money on things that will be worth nothing. Most people cannot build wealth because they spend their earnings on stupid things that lose money.

If we gotta buy luxury, better make sure that the items can retain value, at least our net worth will not drop. He then educated me on watches, the movement, history, price movement and brands.

There’s a holy trinity of watches also wtf? He concluded that if i wanna buy my IWC, i should buy it 2nd hand, let the first buyer suffer the depre, then at least i can sell my watch for the same price i bought.

With regards to the wedding, he told me that me and my wife gotta decide ourselves if the 1 day party is worth all the opportunity cost. do we fulfill our emotional side or our logical side?

If we choose to indulge in the one day party or a kickass honeymoon, then we need to accept that we will have no money at the beginning of our marriage.

Wah, this convo made me realise how much self-control he had. He is the highest earning guy in our group with also the highest net worth, but he had no banquet, no guo da li, no 4 points of gold, fully paid house.

He literally just went to ROM, sign and then go smu for lunch. But damn…… the patek on his wrist is gorgeous.

My son Ben came out as bisexual a couple of years ago. Most of our family accepted him. Although I know he disliked some of our actions when he came out (we are still in contact with familiars or friends that didn’t accept him), we tried to be as supportive as we could. And a bit after he came out he introduced us to his boyfriend. He was a really sweet guy and clearly loved our son.

However about a year ago some rumours, apparently spread by my other son James, said that he used to be a woman. We didn’t believe it but eventually Ben confirmed that his boyfriend was trans, and I admit it was quite shocking and hard to process. This also kinda ruined the relationship between our sons.

Now to the problem itself. Yesterday we decided to have a small gathering with the four of us ( me, my wife and our two sons ). We ate a delicious meal, we talked a lot, in general we were having a good time. I could tell that there was some tension between our sons but I thought that they could handle it. Then I decided to ask Ben “what is [his boyfriend] doing now?”, to which James replied “yeah, what is she doing?”.

This immediately angered Ben, so they started insulting each other. Luckily I managed to change the subject and tell them to calm down before they started an actual fight.

After James left, Ben confronted me about this. He was angry that I didn’t “defend him or at least say something to James”. Now, I agree that what James said was rude, but it was Ben who insulted his brother and worsened the situation. So I don’t think it would have been right for me to defend or pick a side. But he didn’t see it that way, he told me that “either you do something or I won’t visit again”. Which hurts me a lot.

Since then I have not talked to either of them directly, but apparently the rest of our family is choosing sides. Ben is still very angry at me, and although I understand why he was angry at his brother I think he is being unreasonable with me.

I feel so mentally drained

Context: am a SCT in a combat vocation. Currently awaiting DPPH referral to PCC for suspected ASD.

I hate how my company (moreover, my section) treats me.

I always have tried my best to do the best in everything. It’s just my style, I would have liked to receive a bayonet as well. When my instructors asked for bayonet hopefuls, I raised my hand. My platoon have been giving me crap for it ever since. They look at me like I am some wayang king, although that’s just my style to be more enthu about things. They gave me crap for it, tease me, and call me “silver bayo” sarcastically. As for the other bayonet hopeful, he was given praise for good performance and all that. The same people that gave me crap all look up to him and call him “PS” already.

For my mental health, I had seeked help multiple times. I had talked to my OC (a paracounsellor) and my CWO about my issues, and my worries about possible mental issues. I had went to see the MO and the defence psychologist.

My section had a sit down talk with my OC and CWO to address my problems with them. I promised them that I would work to change my behaviours, but that under the request to be more patient and understanding. They agreed.

F-g hell man. In the end, I had spent my energy to try to make their lives more comfortable, to try to fit in. In the end, none of them try to make my life easier. No one tries to engage in meaningful conversation with me. The behaviours that they find rude, they purposely try to initiate out of me (eg; they don’t how I respond to them calling my name, they repeatedly call out my name, almost like a beckoning call). Some of them, talk down to me, almost like I am a child (Ironically, it is done by the two silver bayos in my section). Some act like I’m some kind of anomaly, like I am a disease in the section (calling me autistic (as synonymous with retarded, calling me “special ops”, with emphasis on the special) in conversations within earshot, repeating my words in a mocking manner (“I like to be-” “I lIkE tO bEee…”)). They mock me and my ability, acting like I would be a crappy commander.

I hate how they treat me. I hate how I am treated like I don’t matter.

I hate that I was never given an opportunity to be given appointment, to be able to prove myself to be worthy of a bayonet, to be worthy to be a PS. I asked my CWO to be given appointment, of which he said, “I will try to do so, when I see better improvement in the relationship with you and your platoon.”

In the end, I ain’t a bayonet recipient, and since my section knew I was working for it, they keep on continuing to give me crap for it. During the certificate ceremony rehearsal, the guy next to me (MY F-G BUDDY), literally put his hand in from of me, and shouted, “Congratulations, myveryfirstTA”. As for the other hopeful, he did get it.

I still have to stay in my section for the next month after graduation as due to the nature of my course, I only post out to unit after one more high key.

I hate that I still have to work with them after my graduation, and still have the chance of working with these guys after post out.

I hate the fact that I will have to share a rank with some of these guys, people that I can tell from their RSO RSI track records and through hearing their conversations within earshot, that they would be the type to try to downPES once they get the rank. I hate the possibility that if one of these guys was to become my PS, that I just become their scapegoat, that I will have to do the work without the recognition.

I hate this “know your place” culture, where trying to help others and take initiative is looked at as wayang and fake.

My OC told me to tahan for a bit, that eventually karma will hit, that if anything, I can find him to rant.

But I just don’t know how I can handle these next few weeks.

Knowing that every single action I do, even if it’s in good intention, is always criticised and ridiculed.

Having this feeling of loneliness in my section.

I don’t even know whether my trauma from bullying in primary school is kicking in, that I just have trouble taking in criticism.

I don’t even know what is going on anymore. I am confused and I don’t even know if the problem lies with me anymore.

I’m so tired. Life is f-g tiring, man.

Is my wife cheating on me?

me (24m) and my wife (26f) have been married for almost a year now. At the beginning of our relationship, I saw screenshots of other men’s profiles in her camera roll from hinge and bumble.

I asked her if I was able to go through her phone. She agreed and handed her phone to me. When I was going through her phone, I saw a bunch of screenshots of texts, dating profiles, and the biggest red flag was the 19,500 texts that she still had from her ex.

Keep in mind her and her ex broke up 3-4 years prior to us getting together. When I asked her why she still had all the texts from when she was together, all she said was “I’m friends with his friend group, so I have them as receipts in case he said anything.”

That was a big red flag, we ended up having a huge argument. I don’t what to do. Any help would be amazing. Thank you so much!

Netizens’ comments

1. Do people delete texts after breaking up? I don’t delete anything.
2. I dont delete texts. I know my husband doesnt delete phone numbers, not even from exes because he told me that. I bet if I rifled through his old phones I could find texts from an ex, but those texts are in the past and I dont care that he couldnt be bothered to go through and delete a ton if texts from the distant past. I’ve never cared to look through his phone.
   When I was online dating, I used to screenshot some of the most awful profiles(nobody I’d actually dated), anonymised them and shared them with friends. And I mean the… unhinged ones that were basically a rant about women being single mommas gold diggers. I obviously came off the dating sites when my man and I went exclusive. Some of those probably still exist on my old dead phones, possibly even on the cloud, but I never dated those men and found none of them attractive! They aren’t exes or even people I was ever interested in. It’s not uncommon, seeing how often I see screenshots of dating profiles come up all over the net.
   I will also say that I have known people to keep texts messages so they had receipts if an ex talked shit about them. I did the same with a toxic ex friend who was unhinged.
   How long have you been together? Had you discussed exes before then? Does she still have contact with this ex? Do they communicate more recently (ie since your relationship?) It’s a shame that you’re only finding this out now, but you havent given us enough information to know how to advise.
3. She handed over her phone willingly and gave you an explanation for everything. If there were no recent messages and no recent hinge or bumble activity, are you just looking for a fight? Unless there is something inappropriate from after you started dating, you owe her an apology.