Great woman (39F) I’ve (31M) been dating for 3 months just told me she has a kid. It’s a dealbreaker for me but I don’t know how to end things without hurting her.

I started dating a woman about 3 months ago. We met on a dating app and immediately hit it off. We got along great and seemed to be a good match for each other.

We have fun and have been spending a lot of time together the past few months. Everything seemed great and I definitely saw something long term with her.

But the last time we met up, she casually brought up in a conversation that she has a 4 year old son. She had never mentioned him previously so I was pretty stunned about it.

I didn’t make it seem like a big deal but it is definitely a dealbreaker for me. I would have not dated her if I knew about this from the start.

I definitely want a child of my own in the near future and want to have a family. But I have no desire what so ever to be involved in the life of a child that isn’t mine.

So for me, there is no way to continue this relationship. But I’m just not sure how to end things properly .

The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings and make it seem like she is the problem. I no way want to hurt her or make her feel bad about anything. I’m just not sure how to go about it. How do you guys recommend I end things amicably without hurting her feelings?

Genuinely curious on how people find good quality partners because all the guys I have dated have been super insecure, controlling, or projecting their issues onto me despite my efforts to reassure and be there for them. I understand that no one is perfect and that I am flawed too but sometimes the weight all of my ex-partners put onto me gets too much which leads us to break up….

So just wanted to know how people find partners that are confident and just have trust in them ? I seem to attract insecure guys that use me to seek validation and to sort their issues which is okay once in a while but it really does get too much on my end bc i too need reassurance and someone to rely on as well

Ive tried dating someone a year older, same background as me, similar interests but it just never works out and im getting tired of dating already but i do want to settle down soon and have children…. are people gatekeeping some secret to finding healthy relationships ?

just to add-on, i really do put in my 100% into the relationship and reassure my bfs to build up trust and not do things they dont want me to be doing and really listening to them all the time but the more i do, the more controlling and insecure they all get i dont know why ! from controlling my clothing to controlling who i meet, what i eat, everything that can be controlled, they will control !

conclusion is, where can i find someone that will know how to appreciate me…..

I (19f) lost my baby earlier this year. My husband (27m) is fine waiting to try again. My mom (45f) is pressuring me to start right now.

Earlier this year I lost my baby eight months into the pregnancy and it was really, really tough. Coming home from the hospital without my baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

All I wanted to to way lay down in her nursery and cry. My husband was so amazing. He would hold me for hours while I cried, make sure I ate, helped me shower, got me dressed.

He told me that we can try again when and if I’m ready again. I know he wants more but I know he won’t get mad if I tell him that I don’t want to try again (but I think I do, I’m just not sure when).

My mom on the other hand thinks just because I got medically cleared I should be trying again, because she says it’s going to be a lot harder to get pregnant this time.

She also said having another baby will help me heal emotionally, and she says that’s why I’m still having a hard time, and that I might not have as long as I think I do to have kids (she had to have a hysterectomy in her early 30s).

Last night she sent me a list of things that I should be doing. It said stuff like not to drink cold beverages to promote a warm womb and not to eat things that were too spicy.

She said she was going to ‘make sure I was doing these things to make sure nothing else happens to another one of her grandchildren’. My husband got really mad when I told him she said that and now he wants to cut her off completely.

I just feel bad cutting her off because she’s my mom and I know she doesn’t realize how she’s coming off. And I think she just wants to help in her own way.

I recently started a new course of medication andn one of the side effects is extremely vivid dreams.

In my dream, my wife and I were taking a walk when we passed a guy who was cleaning his home. He moved suddenly and nudged my wife with his trash bag.

I said, “Hey, watch it!” He muttered an apology but immediately did it again. I said, “Buddy if you don’t knock it off, I am going to have to knock you out!”

He said, “I don’t believe you will,” and then 5 or 6 of his friends came out of nowhere. “Get her!” he yelled, and so I reacted as any protective husband would.

I punched and missed a couple of times so, on the third attack, I really leaned into it to make sure I made contact, and I did.

The next I know, my wife wakes me up yelling, “You hit me in the effing mouth.” It must not have been too hard, because she went back to sleep after I apologized.

TLDR: New medication gives me vivid dreams and I threw a punch in my sleep hitting my wife.

I work as a hostess at a popular bar and restaurant in town.

It’s a great job, and I get to meet lots of new people every night. But recently I’ve been noticing something strange: Most of my male customers seem to be a little… dumb and desperate.

I’m not being mean or anything, but it’s true. They come in and act like they’re the most important person in the place, and they always try to hit on me.

It’s like they think I’m going to be impressed by their cheesy pickup lines and catcalls.

One night, I had a customer who was really persistent. He was tall, good-looking, and seemed to think he was God’s gift to women. He asked me out multiple times, and I politely declined each time.

He finally asked if I wanted a present – an iPhone – and I was taken aback. I’m not the type of girl that takes bribes, so I turned him down again.

But he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept insisting that I take the phone, and eventually I gave in. It was a brand new, top-of-the-line iPhone, and I was so grateful. I couldn’t believe it.

My friends and family were so impressed when they saw the phone.

They all asked me how I got it and I told them the truth: my customer gave it to me. They were a bit shocked and thought it was a bit weird, but I didn’t think too much of it.

I guess my customer thought I was worth it, and that’s a nice feeling. But it also made me realize that most of my male customers are dumb and desperate. I mean, they think they can get whatever they want just by throwing money or presents at it.

It’s a bit sad, really. But at least I got a free iPhone out of it, so I guess I can’t complain too much!

Hi guys, would need advice on whether I should stay in a “relationship” that I deem as toxic.

Basically, I’m not officially in a relationship with this guy but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. We fight so often & many times, the fights are very intense & aggressive. When things escalate, he would usually shout at me while standing close to me & face down to me (i don’t really know how to describe his stance; but it’s an aggressive stance). When he does this, I wouldn’t even back down & would face him head on and fight it out with him (i admit my words can be too harsh during these kind of fights & note that my temper are really bad so sometimes i maybe the one that escalated the fight). 

But ya, he raised his hands during a few of these fights but have never actually laid hands on me. He’d usually end up throwing my stuff across the room, snatching my phone away to make me stay (because i’d usually try to leave the room & get away from him), or he’d smash stuff. Just to note, he does not raise his hand/ throw or smash stuff/ snatch my phone in every single fight. It’s only during these very intense ones, but these happened probably more than 6-7 times during the 2 years – and 1 time in public. 

Other than these intense fights, we also have very frequent long & random fights (heated but not as intense as the above). 

These are the things that I can’t accept but at the same time, when things are good he’d be really very nice to me. He’d always tolerate me & gives in to me. He’d buy me stuff that I wanted to purchase myself to surprise me when I asked him for opinions on which item is nicer. He’d also always bring me to eat any food that I’m craving for & does many things that I want. Honestly, I would really settle down with him if not for the above stuff. I just don’t want to end up giving him a chance to actually hit me when our fight gets too intense? And I find that we fight way too often & too intensely with either willing to back down?

Oh on a side note, he snores REALLY loudly every night which disrupts my sleep so badly that I feel like murdering him sometimes. Any advice on how to make him stop snoring so that I can get some decent sleep when I’m with him would be greatly appreciated please!

I recently just stepped out of a toxic relationship. Tom (not real name) is a married man with a newborn daughter. And I’m attached, in a three-year relationship. I met Tom on an online game more than a year ago and didn’t know he was married.

We grew closer and have a lot common topic. We enjoyed chatting with each other. Slowly, I found myself developing feelings for him. At the same time, my current boyfriend wasn’t giving me much attention and I was a little lonely and upset.

I turned myself to Tom, and realized I enjoyed playing the game with him a lot. I knew that he was much older than me, and his thinking was much more mature then everyone else around me. After a few months of playing together, we admitted we have feelings for each other and slowly proceed to something more.

We would voice call each other, saying all kind of sweet and loving words to one another. I have never agreed to meet him in real life, because I was afraid what would happen once we were to meet.

One month into this ‘relationship’, he told me he was married, and that he and his wife was expecting a daughter soon. I was heartbroken at first, but I was in love with him.

He knew that I was attached since the beginning as well. We both tried to ignore the fact we each have own partners, and he have his family… It was ok at the beginning. It was our secret, and nobody else knew. This carried on for a few more months.

However, I found myself very guilty. Guilty of betraying my partner trust, guilty of being a third person in someone else relationship.

I tried to leave Tom, but it was hard to. He would always tried to talk me out of it, by assuring me what we had was special and nobody else would understand, and that we don’t need people’s validation on our ‘special’ relationship.

And so I listened to him, keeping our online relationship a secret for another few more months. It tormented me so much but I couldn’t speak to anyone about it.

One day, a senior manager at work had to take leave to spend some time with his expecting wife. My first thought was happy for him. But I suddenly felt disgusted, I had the urge to vomit.

I ran to the washroom and cried, thinking; how could Tom be fooling around with me this whole time when his wife was spending her days in hospital and preparing to give birth to their daughter?

And those nights when we would call each other, while the wife and daughter was sleeping in another room. It was like a mental breaking point for me. I couldn’t eat well, nor sleep well.

My own relationship was deteriorating. I was spiralling. It took me a while, before I had the courage to put an end to it and call it off with him. He wasn’t happy, of course, but it’s best for us both.

Perhaps if the circumstances was different, we could have been true soul mates, two-person who truly understand and love one another.

I hope if there’s anyone who faced the similar situation as me quickly gets out of these toxic relationship before it gets worse…Not only it will hurt the people around you, but it will also hurt your own mental health.

When it comes to relationships, everyone has different expectations and boundaries.

One of the more common issues couples face is the expectation of one partner to provide transportation for the other.

On the surface, it can seem like an innocuous request, but if it becomes a consistent issue, it can cause a lot of resentment and frustration for the partner who is always behind the wheel.

My girlfriend recently told me that she can’t take public transport and that I have to fetch her everywhere. This has put me in the position of being her personal chauffeur and I’m not happy about it.

I understand that she’s trying to save money by burning my money, but I feel like she’s taking advantage of me by expecting me to always be there to drive her around.

Her excuse “There are weird guys on the train”.

I don’t think it’s fair for her to expect me to always be the one to drive her everywhere. I understand that she’s scared, but I think she needs to face reality and try to take public transport instead of relying on me always to be there to drive her.

For starters, I think she needs to understand that her fear of public transport is not an excuse to take advantage of me. She needs to understand that I have a life too and I have other commitments that need my attention too. I can’t always be available to drive her around and she needs to be more independent and take public transport when I’m not available.

I also think she needs to understand that I’m not her chauffeur. I think she needs to take responsibility for her transportation needs and not rely on me as her driver. I’m happy to help out from time to time, but I think she needs to start taking public transport more often and not expect me to always be there to drive her.

I also think we need to communicate more about this issue. We need to be able to talk about our expectations and come to a compromise that works for both of us.

In a shocking revelation, a long-time employee of an unnamed company in Singapore, with thirteen years of dedicated service, has come forward with allegations of unfair treatment and coercion by the company’s management. The employee, who wishes to remain anonymous, claims that they are being forced to resign under unclear circumstances.

According to the employee’s post, the company is allegedly pressuring them to resign in exchange for a “Mutual Agreement” that includes only one month’s salary and 15 days of services rendered. The employee further claims that the company refused to provide a valid reason for the termination, raising concerns about the transparency of the process.

What the netizen said

This can happen to anyone locals or foreigners alike. 

Thirteen years of continuous faithful service to the Company, and now they are asking me to resign, otherwise they will be terminating my employment?? On what grounds??

Is this how you treat your loyal employees or is the term LOYALTY is really not in your vocabulary. You people cannot even give a valid reason for giving me a Termination Notice just because I do not agree on your proposal that I will tender my resignation in exchange of the Mutual Agreement you are proposing. One month salary and the 15 days services rendered.

You did not even allow me to take a photo of your Mutual Understanding Document that you are asking me to sign and to show proof to the Singapore Ministry of Manpower. WHYY??!! You go Berzerk and chase me down and Tear down the God Damn Paper?? Do you have anything to hide?? I still got the little piece of paper that was left with me when you forcefully take the paper out of my hand and destroy it.

Will you call that Acting in Good Faith?? And thinking about the welfare of your employees?

You do not want it to be called a RETRENCHMENT just because you do not want to be responsible for the benefits of a retrenched employee is entitled to. I’ve been with your Company for THIRTEEN YEARS and wasted all my youth and energy in serving you, and now you just wanted to throw me and treat us like garbage. After the help and sacrifices we’ve done to take care of your company, now you’re just throwing is out of the window.

I need help on how to bring up my case to the Ministry of Manpower or to any Authority or Agencies that can look up to my case and tell my Company that what they are doing is not legal. How many of us your employees you’ve treated like this way. This was the same method you have applied to my other colleague who was pregnant and will be delivering her baby soon. You also asked her to resign and take your Mutual Understanding Statement after serving you for 6 long years. If you have made your ways with her because she was pregnant, then my case will be a different one.

My case will be heard by Tripartite Alliance For Dispute Management thru the Ministry of Manpower and I hope that they will find justice to my cause. I am just hoping and praying that the Good will always triumph over Evil.