A Singaporean man has reached out on social media seeking advice about his budding relationship with a Filipino woman employed as a maid in Singapore.

The man clarifies that the woman is not his domestic helper, but someone he connected with through social networks, expressing concerns about being blinded by infatuation.

Key Aspects of the Relationship:

The man outlines several positive aspects of the relationship:

1. The woman frequently messages him, expressing affection and appreciation for small gestures.
2. Describing her as caring, he notes the woman’s attentiveness and consideration toward him.
3. Notably, she has never asked for financial assistance, though she mentioned her family’s financial struggles back in the Philippines, which he attributes to her current employment as a maid.

With the woman’s contract ending soon, the man contemplates the possibility of a future together, even considering a visit to her family in the Philippines.

Seeking Advice and Expressing Hesitations:

Acknowledging his uncertainty and seeking advice, the man expresses hesitations about being “blinded by infatuation” and contemplates the challenges that may arise. Despite mutual affection and frequent meet-ups on her off days, he remains undecided about the potential success of the relationship.

The man’s confession

This girl I am seeing, she is a maid in Singapore. She not my maid. I just got to know her through social network. I scared I am blinded by infatuation. So I want to be rational. She is from Philipines.

Firstly, she message me often, misses me, cute. Any small little things I do for her, she has always shown to be very appreciative towards me.

Secondly, she is quite a caring lady towards me.

Thirdly, she never ask any money from me at all, although she did mention her family home is not very well off. (obviously, otherwise she wouldn’t have to work as a maid)

Her contract will be over soon.

I thinking la, wanna be together with her, go PH see her family or not. I haven’t decided.

I humji la honestly. So far we seems to like each other a lot. Every off day she have, she always meet me.

What do you all think? Do you think this relationship will work out? What challenges I face? Can all the experience kor kor and uncles prease advice? Thank you all!!

“I’ve worked in the nightlife industry for three years, doing publicity and marketing for the trendiest clubs in town. I’ve not only had my own experiences with “group sx”, but I’ve seen it happen with others as well. I’ve watched women get plastered, with guys all over them.

I’ve seen so-called “friends” letting their drunken girl pals leave the club with men they’ve only just met. I wouldn’t trust a strange guy to take my friend home. But what can you do? Crap happens.

I started clubbing as a student, and was smoking and drinking by 17. Because I partied so often, I met people in the industry who offered me a marketing job at a hot new club after I graduated from university. “Why not?”, I thought. I entered a fun, energetic world. It could also get pretty crazy.

For the past few years, my work routine has been the same: I plan marketing strategies from home in the day via e-mail, but am at the club three nights a week to entertain customers and make sure they’re taken care of. This means personally ushering them to their tables, supplying them with drinks, checking that they’re enjoying the party, and so on. I’m at the club by 11pm and leave between 3am and 5am.

If I’m hosting a guest DJ or act, I stay until he finishes his set and am always on hand to get him drinks, ensure his equipment is set up and that he’s comfortable. Almost all the DJs have tried to get into my pants. They ply me with drinks, and sometimes put their arms around me and try to get me to go back with them. I always say no.

I never knew how much people could make you drink until I started work. I got high whenever I partied with friends, but at work, it was something else altogether. I saw rich customers splurge on seemingly endless rounds of alcohol. Every night, I’d go around the club, stopping at all the tables to mingle with guests. And that’s when the wild partying would start.

My customers would force me to drink so much, I was downing the equivalent of two bottles of champagne a night. It’s hard to say no – you have to keep people happy or they won’t come back and spend. No one discouraged me from my heavy drinking. My co-workers all understood it was part of the job. It was common for my colleagues and even my bosses to also get drunk by the end of the night while “working”.

I paid for it in the mornings with terrible hangovers. I’d crawl out of bed with a pounding head, groaning, “Why am I doing this?”

My views about the whole thing changed while on the job. I used to think that girls who got drunk and slept with men were cheap sluts who couldn’t control themselves.

But after I got sucked into this world, I realised it was easier said than done.

In a startling revelation on social media, a woman named Jennifer has triggered widespread outrage by announcing that she quit her job to nurse her 36-year-old boyfriend, Brad with her mammary glands.

The controversial post detailed the couple’s adherence to a strict breastfeeding schedule, irrespective of their location.

Jennifer explained that her decision was influenced by the perceived bonding potential of the activity, as she aimed to establish a unique connection with her partner Brad.

The woman said “it was like a light switch flicked in his head. I could tell from his voice that he was curious and excited. At that moment I knew that I had a partner for life… we both wanted the same thing out of the relationship – a magical bond that only breastfeeding can achieve.”

The couple adheres to a regimen, where the woman feeds her boyfriend with her chest every two to three hours, even though Jennifer has not successfully induced lactation at this point.

Brad provided insight into the varied settings of their intimate moments, stating, “It could be standing up, it could be we lay in the bed, or I come home for lunch, and she’s on the couch.”

When questioned about the intimate nature of their relationship, Brad acknowledged that it played a role, contributing positively to their overall intimacy.

He added “It’s more of a personal bond, it’s more of a commitment, more of an intimacy… two people becoming one, and what man doesn’t like a nice set of b–bs in his mouth?”

Jennifer also added that she had dedicated everything to this “bonding activity” and has been consuming herbal medicine and eating flax seeds to help with her body’s natural milk production, which she claims Brad is excited for because he works out at the gym and belives in the health benefits in her milk.

How do you deal with a childish petty colleague who blocks phone contact everywhere because of a personal feud? I had already apologised and admitting my part of the fault and what I did wrong, such as messaging too much outside of work hours.

However on his part, he got no humility to admit his own faults on his part, thinking that hes flawless and blameless in the whole issue. He doesnt see where he went wrong, including being delusional in trying to justify his wrong doings of gossiping as being correct.

He intentionally avoids and refuses to resolve the conflict regardless of how many times I tried to bring it up to him and our mentor and now our professor for resolvation.

It affects work because we are working in a lab and everybody has to be contactable when running experiments in case of emergencies. The situation had escalated to our professor’s level but he is too nice and doesnt solve the problem.

The colleague is a mature 26 year old phd student, like seriously. Only primary school kids would play the block unblock I dont friend you kind of game.

Here are what netizens think:

• i wldnt even b bothered. i’ll just do my part of the work.Problem has been raised to your professor. Anything happens, just shift the blame to him for being uncontactable and a non team player.

• This kind study until sot one, don’t have social skills one

I’m really confused and need some help. During recess week I met with my JC teacher for dinner. He was my mentor in school and gave me plenty of good advice about universities and scholarships.

I was grateful for his help and I wanted to thank him by treating him to dinner, especially since this is my first semester in NUS.

I told him during dinner that I live in one of the UTown RCs, and he got interested, and wanted to visit my RC. I said OK immediately as after all he had looked through my application essay.

As he was young, I think in his early 30s, he blended in well with my RC mates. No one batted an eyelid that an older dude was exploring the RC, people thought he was an undergrad too.

So anyway I showed him my room and we continued chatting…somehow one thing led to another, and we slept together.

I dont know how it happened and I’m confused. I lost my virginity to him. How could I sleep with my former teacher? He has a girlfriend too.

I’m afraid of asking him about our relationship – it is a one night stand or FWB? Or is he really keen to be my boyfriend though he is so much older? How???

Netizens’ comments

1. She wan wants sympathy la guys.. kana used out of no where.. hahahahaha!
2. I am extremely concerned that our brightest sparks based on academics, that are favoured as future leaders, can be this bloody stupid in life. U screwed n u din enjoy or regret it and start asking for justifications and support? Go back to your bloody books and do your bloody papers.
3. Did he forced himself on you? No. Well, you slept with him willingly so stop being confused. Snap put of it

In a candid and reflective social media post, a Singaporean man has shed light on the multifaceted reasons behind couples choosing not to have children, challenging societal expectations and the prevailing narrative.

The post acknowledges the common notion that couples may engage in intimate activities in unconventional places due to living arrangements, emphasizing the need to move beyond stereotypes.

The author contends that societal pressure to have children is not only driven by the desire for privacy but also by the broader issue of Singaporeans feeling squeezed by societal expectations.

The author points out the lack of soundproofing in Housing and Development Board (HDB) flats, asserting that the discomfort of potential noise and the proximity of family members can affect the intimacy and comfort of couples. The post challenges the assumption that this discomfort is solely about intercourse, highlighting the emotional aspects and potential awkwardness of such situations.

What he said

Seriously? Look while we all know it is possible to make love under the bed because your parents are in the house, or at the staircase landings because your parents are in the house, or at hotel 81 because your parents are in the house, there are more reasons than just that, for couples not wanting to have kids.

This mentality of squeezing Singaporeans of everything has to stop. Firstly if you are making love right there’s going to be a lot of noise involve and HDB flats aren’t soundproof while one can ignore what your next door neighbour might be thinking it is pretty hard to “get hard” knowing your parents or partner’s parents are in the next door hearing every detail. In fact even if you do it quietly it is a little weird knowing your parents are just next door.

Secondly it really isn’t all about making love. Animals get stressed when they don’t have their own space and might not reproduce because of that. Many singaporeans are just too stressed to even think about starting a family.

It dose not just end there, she could sell her place and move in with me, or i could sell mine and move in with her. Even after that we might decided to start a family and sell both flats to buy a 3 or 4 room flat.

I accused my ex-husband of cheating on me when he wasn’t. Now he’s engaged to the woman I accused him of cheating with.
I’m 39f. My recently ex- husband is 38m. We were married for ten years before divorcing last year. I accused him of cheating on me, I didn’t believe when he told me he was working longer shifts at work since we still always seemed tight on cash, I thought he was cheating on me with a woman who lived down the street, Jen, 30f, since I saw she was on his recent calls quite a few times, both phone calls/video calls, and I saw her name pop up multiple times sending him texts throughout the week, but my husband doesn’t keep texts from anyone so I didn’t know what they were.

I confronted him about it and although I didn’t outright accuse him of cheating I was definitely angry about feeling like he was hiding something from me, and made that clear.

As it turned out, he was working extra hours and putting the money into a separate account to surprise me with a groundbreaking for an extension on our house on the ten year anniversary of us buying it. The conversations with the Jen were him coordinating with her watching the kids while both of us were working while the daycare was closed (when he picked up extra weekend shifts) and the phone calls/video calls were him checking on the kids. He was able to verify all of this with bank account records, emails to and from the builder, and screenshots of the messages between her and him from her end of the conversation. I apologized to him for not believing him, but at this point he said he couldn’t believe that I would ever think he was cheating on me. He said he felt incredibly hurt and said that he would never think something like that about me, and that he never would’ve assumed the worst about me. He asked for space so we first went to living in separate bedrooms, then after a bit he moved into the basement, the entire time he was acting strange and distant and like a stranger to me, only acting normal around the kids.

After a few weeks of that he officially asked for a divorce. I asked if we could do couples therapy first, and he said that there was no point since I didn’t trust him, but eventually he agreed, we went to one session and he admitted that him realizing I had no faith in him after he was working so hard for our family really hurt his self confidence and he didn’t think it was something he could repair while he was still with me, and he again asked for a divorce.

He bought me out of my half of the house, which I put towards a small house close by and our kids split their time between us.

I heard that he began dating Jen from my friend, who lives down the street from him. At first my ex insisted that she was still just helping with the kids, but after four months he admitted they were dating, once the extension was done she moved in and yesterday he asked her to marry him.

I’m happy for him but there’s still a part of me that feels shocked and somewhat resentful this all happened. I feel as though it was a happy surprise if he had told me about his plans for the extension none of this would have happened.

ETA someone asked if I knew she was watching my kids- no, I didn’t. I assumed they were at home with my husband while I was working.

My mom is 15 years younger than my dad. I’m starting to resent him so much for the age gap.

My mom was 19, my dad 34 when they got together. The had me when my dad was in his early forties and my mom was in her late twenties.

My dad was always too worn out to play with me when I was a kid, or do anything strenuous like camping. I got made fun of for having an older dad.

He’s got the beliefs of a grandpa, like he’s from an entire different generation from my mom.

And now that he’s in his mid sixties he’s having all these health problems, and my mom has become his 24/7 live in nurse.

And it’s like he doesn’t even see how much he’s leached off her over the years, or that it’s messed up that she’ll never even have a retirement, and has to stay home and take care of an elderly man when she isn’t even 50 yet.

And he’ll probably die like 2 decades before her, and leave her alone, and then who takes care of her?

I mean I will and I’ll be happy to, but it just makes me furious that he was happy to let his family suffer and leach off them just so he could have a younger wife.

I know she regrets marrying him but she’s too good of a person to leave, and it’s honestly heartbreaking and I kind of wish he’d just hurry up and die so she can actually live her life instead of having it siphoned away by an old vampire.

My gf and I has been together for coming to 8 months and we recently have some arguments about how she hangs out with other guys.

While I love her the way she is, she is sometimes too “blur” in my opinion, but also because of that she is very happy and optimistic of other people’s intention.

As we stay in different halls, I found her going on one on one meals with her hall friend, and sometimes goes to talk with her senior in his room, and just generally being very friendly with everyone, and sometimes studying in the library and exercising together one on one.

They are different guys. I count myself as quite introverted and put very strict rules on how I interact with girls, and throughout my life I really dont see the point of building close friendships as I feel like its either you catch feelings or when they get attached you lose that friendship.

I do have female friends, but I do not hang out with them or text them much like how my gf would, and in the 8 months knowing her, I only met 2 of them one on one once, and I know them since secondary school.

I definitely know nothing is going on between them as she tells me about what she does before hand, and she was ok with me reading their text when I asked that one time.

But I was upset that she was being too comfortable and we sorta fought over it. And I just feel like being attached, you shouldn’t be hanging out with guys that often, and I keep the same standards for myself.

So I asked my friends about it, and they said it could be because she was 3 years younger than me (i retained) so she might not be as mature to understand that while i trust her, i do not trust the guys she hangs out with. 

Anyway I would like to hear advice from everyone here. Am i being too unreasonable? i know i can be quite conservative, but is asking her to tone it down too much?

Its my first serious relationship and I do not want to screw it up over this issue, and if its really a values thing, should i reconsider the whole rs altogether?

A netizen shared how she had a fight with her boyfriend because she felt they weren’t spending enough time together, and she cries at night because of it.

Here is the story:

“Me and my bf had this fight two years in. Mainly because I felt like we aren’t spending enough time together and when I brought up that topic he went all mad.

He would choose to cancel our plans last min to meet with his friends instead, gave me promises but broke them anyway, and I’ve found his habit of blaming ppl (sth like gaslighting) when something goes wrong.

I’m not sure when he developed all those traits & habits but I didn’t notice them when we were friends or at the beginning of dating….

So… when I tried to talk about those He’s like “What do you want me to do?” It seems like he couldn’t change for the better and I also felt that maybe I was pushing too hard to spend more time with me.

Stupid of me to think that only if I could change my perspectives and be more understanding, we could fix this again.

Tried to be accommodating

I tried to adjust myself to his plans. Our meet-ups become unplanned ones and even if they got canceled, I tried not to feel hurt. I would pretend to enjoy every little time we have together but at the back of my mind, it was like, this man would ditch me any min for something else.

This man will shout at me for every little thing that goes wrong when it’s not even my fault…TBH, when I adjusted myself, our relationship overall improved but I’m always in a terrified state.

Some days, it gets really exhausting and I will burst out crying at night. I don’t even know why am I trying anymore…. doubting whether I can continue like this…”

Editor’s note: He doesn’t deserve you, it’s time to move on…