im Indon helper here in Singapore

i have crush on my sir’s friend

5months ago he visited my employer’s house and we have eye contact haha and i think he also have interest on me. ystd he also visitd my employers house again n he try to talk to me abit

n now i cannot stop thinking about him

im 23year old single

unfortunately my employer not allowed me to have a boyfriend:(

Netizens’ comments

1. Obviously they won’t la. It’s common sense. If you really wanna have a BF. Don’t become a helper but work something else. That where you got freedom for it.
2. You are here to work and you should have your off days. Your sir cannot stop you from making friends or who you go out with. Next time that person you like talks to you, you can ask him where to go during off days..maybe if he likes you he will say to bring you out.
3. Would suggest you just work hard first and save more money. You’re still young and the objective of coming here is to make more money. Keep focusing on that and don’t think about others things that will distract you from your goal.
4. Woahh so bold of u to assume someone’s interested just by few small talk anyway good luck for u sis, but i think ur employer has a point why not letting u have a relationship here.
5. If you are under work permit. If you want to get married with local . You need to get permission from MOM. So even you have relationship. The relationship won’t go anywhere
6. You’re old enough to know what is good from what is right. If you think that you should ignore your feelings for that person, then you must control yourself.. make yourself busy with other things so you will stop thinking of that guy.. boys nowadays only want to fk and then leave. You’re young, you can still find a better man.. don’t rush everything and focus on your goals

Hello everyone. I wanted to share something with you, maybe someone has been in a similar situation.

My gf and I have been dating for over 3 years now. Back then we were both poor asf because we were in University. But after about a year we both got jobs.

After a while we started going on trips, and one of her goals was to have a trip every month, no matter how short or long. But also to go outside of Asia to visit other continents.

Previously,we managed to go to Italy for a whole month, both of us being vaccinated, and work from there. All of that pretty much ate all of our savings that we put aside every month. Afterwards, she went on some solo trips to meet her friends in other European cities. That doesn’t bother me.

She out-earns me on a monthly basis, especially since she gets quarterly bonuses from her job, which are basically another salary. So on average, she earns twice my salary. I was raised in a very frugal manner because we were barely making it on a monthly basis, so a huge fear of mine is to need money and not have them. This makes always saving and looking for the cheapest option.

Lately, we have been to Spain for another holiday, right before our companies called us back in the office. She paid for everything because I literally had no money set aside due to a long trip we took last December. Spain was her dream and she seemed so happy about going and I also had the time of my life.

But now, she wants to keep her goal of going on a trip every month. I just got my salary and for the first time in more than a year I managed to set aside $1,500 and it makes me feel extremely safe (it’s not enough, obviously, but it’s the first step I guess). Now last evening she opened the flights app and asked me: ‘Where do you want to go next?’ And that’s when I sunk, because it made me feel like I HAD to go to one more trip and spend all the money.

For more clarity, one of my goals for life is to be able to retire at 40 years old, maybe 45 of the market doesn’t do great. So I calculated I should put aside around $1000 a month and invest them. I barely managed to put aside $200 in the past years so now I am way behind my goal.

After I told her I don’t want to go on trips with her, we had a big argument and said that this is a deal-breaker (not sure what she meant, it’s not a relationship breaker…I hope). And accused me that now that I have to spend my own money again, I don’t want to go on trips (a reference to the Spain trip which she paid for – she has a point here).

I love her very much and it makes me extremely sad and annoyed with myself that I said those things. I told her to go solo or with some of her friends, but always says that prefers to go with me (which I get, because we are very compatible from many perspectives).

But am I wrong in this situation? I’m not saying that I will never travel again, I just want to do it with a safety net behind me.

We’ve been a couple for 2 years alr but I’m getting tired of him.

We’ve been arguing almost everyday for the past 2 months. Every argument was just full of grudges.

When we first started dating, he seem fine. Good looking, treats me well but as our dating days goes by. We lost more trusts n faith with each other, always second guessing each other. We breakup n get back uncountable times n now I’m really getting sick n tired of this relationship.

We met through mutual friends and his job just happened to be mine interest, so I left a comment on ig and then we started dming each other so end up being together. First few months of the relationship was good. Afterwards, we been arguing at least twice a week. The contradiction between us getting bigger every arguments.

When we dating, I once saw his phone apps consist of those meetings new friends apps ( but these apps usually is meet new gender friend and end up being a couple). I asked him why u need these kind of apps? He said I’ve always been ignoring him, since mine phone always on silence and he suspect I have affair outside just because a guy sent me a hotel room detail. But that was because I need to go his room for works and that guy I working with is a good husband. Everyone know how well he treated ppl, how popular he is at work. I cannot deny having eyecandies on him when he have capabilities as a boss and as a person.

We went out for a date n my bf didn’t say anything. just silent treatment when I asked him qns and he just left me alone in the mall n walk away. I messaged him what wrong,why are you giving me cold treatment. He said was because of the hotel incident and I said why didn’t u ask me. I could’ve shown you the full messages. I was very disappointed that he think I was such an easy person to get laid with. When I was working, all in mine mind was just to earn enough money so that we can have a grand wedding event. We could’ve sat down and talks about his unhappiness but he decided to just being angry and thinking that I cheated on him.

He also been meeting his exes. I once saw his message notifications from his friend stated ” wah, you going meet Ur exes ah? Not scared Ur current found out?”. I was so furious when I saw that notification.

During dating, we said we’ll be honest with each other regardless of what but he didn’t even mentioned that the ex asked for meetups with him. Only when I confronted with him,he started blurting out.

I’ve never mentioned about my exes because it’s in the past n we didn’t have contacts anymore but he did. He not only didn’t mention about it but also went to meetup with his exes.

One of our biggest arguements almost lead us to breaking up permanently. He suggested it but I didn’t want to. So he said ok. Let’s have cooldown periods instead. So during the cooldown period, I went out with 3 other friends( 1 F, 2M) we went to USS tgt. But he been accusing me of cheating on him with one of the guy because we took pair shot.

All of us are close friends and even my bf know them since we have mutual friends. He’s such a atrocious person to think that because of pair photos, I cheated on him. Moreover, the 2M also have gf already. We’re just purely hanging out to catch-up as clique. He also accusing me saying I’m a slut for hanging out with guys during our cooldown period but I don’t see anything wrong with mine actions.

he also ownself went out to drinks with friends, make new female friends at the drinking place. His friend ig stories videoed him playing happily with all the gals and said he’s single during our cooldown period then his friends also proceed to video him asking the gals for their social media, contact no and etc.

He said all the female contacts he added was just Vase. Just to look like he’s popular with gals but he don’t contact them.

He said he just using the ig stories to make me angry cause I went out hanging with clique that have guys included so he’s doing the same and he also have a lot chats that require password to enter.

I’m so done with him but I don’t want breakup with him. I should be the one dumping him not him dumping me. I have many admirers and all of them are better than him whether in looking, studies or as a person. I gave him the chance yet he felt that I was the one unreasonable during our 2 years of relationship.

Here are what netizens think:

• So he has to accept you went to a hotel with a guy alone, but you are not ok with him having app on his phone.”I am so done with him, but I don’t want to breakup with him”You are so full of contradiction. If you can’t decide go and pluck flower petals.”I should be the one dumping him, not him dumping me”What are you 3 years old?”I have many admirers blah blah”With your mindset, nothing will change.

• Just break, both of u are not emotionally and mentally matured to carry out a proper relationship.

• Certainly, there’s NO LOVE between you two, only resentment, hatred & grudges. Why don’t you two break up? Social pressure? or mutual friends? Forget everything about what others might think and just break up. Because at the end of the day, it’s only YOU who are gonna be responsible for your life’s decisions. Start a new life full of love, care & respect. You must be able to LOVE & RESPECT someone in order to be in a relationship with him. Love is about feeling for each other, bringing meaning to each other’s lives, uplifting each other & finding immense happiness in doing all these. That’s so fundamental to start with.

I wish my boyfriend would comfort me when I’m sad

I feel like these past few days have been tough on me and I took the Plan B pill a few days ago. I feel very anxious and I’ve been crying everyday.

My boyfriend has been leaving me alone and went out with his friends to stay away from me so I can calm down and I keep having emotional outbursts and he gets mad at me. It’s been more than 3 days and I’m still crying and feeling depressed.

I feel like I don’t like my boyfriend anymore and I feel like all he does is criticize me when I’m sad.

Like I talk to him about how his sister is mean to me or how I feel bad (he doesn’t like her too) and he starts saying things like it’s all a delusion and my thoughts are wrong and starts saying how I’m thinking is wrong.

I really hate this and idk what to do. I live with him

I’ve been driving my Mercedes A-Class for more than a year now and recently, my agent told me he got lobang for C-Class. I feel like it’s time for me to upgrade but the thing is, I don’t want my boss to think I’m trying to upstage him leh. He always act like he don’t care what people say but actually the whole office most petty is him.

One time someone say my Balenciaga wallet nice ask me how much I buy, the next day my boss bring Gucci bag to work sia. The first time I wore the Tag Heuer that my gf gave me also the same. The next day my boss walked in with a Rolex and the whole day he shake his hand so much until we all scared he dislocate his wrist sia.

And it’s not just me. Even the cleaner aunty he also don’t let go. He overheard her telling us how excited she was for her son cos he managed to get the Bidadari SBF then he just cut in and say he will be on leave cos he going to collect keys to his new condo. And that’s not all.

He still go and complain to big boss that the cleaner aunty always talk in pantry never do her work.

Walao eh like this he also shiok? This kind of people how come can be manager I also dunno… okay lah I think I’ve made my decision. But now I got a new problem. Sports rim or no sports rim?

Here are what kind of netizens think:

• Like that you tell him you prepare your funeral before you die, got burn iPhone 13. Make sure he prepares to burn iPhone 31.

• This kind of person will never be contented.

• You challenge him who goes Woodbridge first.

hi everyone, would like to seek opinions if is it normal for my boyfriend to reject my S advances?

As every time when im at his place or he is at my place and my parent’s arent home and i try to ask him to do it with me, he rejects me and says he wants to wait till we’re married before doing it.

I’m his 1st girlfriend and his 27, and we’ve been together for 2 years already so I don’t know why is he so shy, is my boyfriend secretly gay? As i can’t think of any guy who would reject their girlfriend when their girlfriend is the one initiating it, and i did say whether he wants to use a rubber anot it is up to him, but he acts like a wuss and keeps rejecting me.

How do i get him to man up and do it?

Here are what netizens think:

• He is keeping his virginity for his one true love whom he is going to marry. Nothing wrong with it . Premarital S used to be the wrong thing to do until ppl normalised it and start thinking not having it, is abnormal.

• Does he have a religion that he adheres to closely? Or his family has very strong moral values? He’s a keeper. Respecting you and your body and yet you do not even appreciate it. Just because a guy doesn’t want to have S with you you think he’s gay?? That’s a very toxic mentality. There’s nothing abnormal with not wanting to have S before marriage and people who have this value shouldn’t be shamed into thinking there’s something wrong with them.

• Hmmmm, did you manage to check or visually see before that it is functioning tool.

• Don’t blame yourself for wondering what’s wrong with him. He could be a monk. See if you can break him. Be the dominant one!

• Your bf is a real keeper. He’s mature, and he doesn’t want the risk of having a baby outside marriage.

I have full custody of my 12-year-old daughter.

Her mom only has one monthly visitation. Recently my daughter has been acting up and insisting on living with her mom because she thinks I’m a bad dad.

I knew she couldn’t live with her mom because her mom is a terrible mom. I know it because I’ve seen the way she treats her other kids which is why I tried so hard to get full custody. Also, my daughter is used to her very privileged life which her mom can’t give her.

A few days ago we got into an argument and again she said she hated me and wanted to live with her mom. I got angry, I made her pack a bag.

Took her to her mom’s home, left her there and told her she is gonna live here just as she wanted.

One day later I got a message from her asking me to take her home. I ignored all her messages and calls for 4 days until I figured she has learned her lesson. I answered her call and she was crying and asking me to take her home, which I did.

She has been staying in her room ever since. My family thinks I’m a bad father and should have just brought her home the first time she called but I thought it was necessary. 

I just want her to learn a lesson in her privileged life. Am I at fault here?

Here are what netizens think:

• Wrong for not at least answering her calls and talking to her to make sure she was safe. That’s awful. She already has to live with the fact her mom is terrible, and now she probably feels she can’t trust her dad either.

• she’s just a kid. Sometimes you argue with your kids. It doesn’t justify (temporarily) kicking her out. I bet she feels abandoned.

• I understand that you were trying to make a point

• You left your child for 4 days with a woman you describe as a bad mother…

I know this guy for 6 years dated and all, planning to get married. Hais just recently, while we were in heated argument, he accidentallysaid “I will never forget my ex even after we married” and “My ex is better than u in 2 years of knowing her than u can ever do in 6 years” “She knows how to take care of her man, sweet, caring unlike you”. It hurts me so much and even while I was crying he never stopped saying all these hurtful things.

Alreadyin rs for 6 years, still haven’t moved on from his ex of only 2 years they dated. From then on, I already felt like want to just end it all but hais 6 years wasted gone to waste just like that… tbh, he’s not even my type but yeah there must be love to last till 6 years right? The most painful part is that he’s My first love… yes his ex is prettier than me and she is his type.

I know should just let go after being compared with ex all. Haisss… actually felt like we both dragged this rs way longer than it should be… hais cuz First love I guess. Hard to let go… but I know deep in my heart, if I were to end up married with this guy, it will be a loveless marriage just cuz first love. Hard to let go n forget… hais

Here are what netizens think:

• You both just having each other to pass time and not being alone. If a guy can say such things to you, no point staying anymore. It’s only pathetic, and more hurt will come your way.Is it only me who gets irritated at “hais” instead of “sigh”? 

• Hmmm….Sorry to burst your bubble but this r/s isn’t build on love. It’s build on “put up with”.

I don’t think guys would ‘accidentially’ says things like “I will never forget my ex”, “My ex is better than u” during an argument. Deep down he still miss his ex and compare her with you.

He is only with you because he has reached a point where he just want to accept someone who is willing to stick with him.

Same for you….You mentioned he is not your type. But you “put up with” him for 6 yrs because he is the one willing to stick with you.

Having said all that, my advice is to have a real heart to heart talk with him. Find out what he wants in a wife and you tell him what you want in a husband and work your issues out from there.

Like you said, 6 years is long time to just quit. At least try to salvage and hopefully start building the r/s based on love.

• 6 yrs is a fraction of a lifetime. Don’t see it as time wasted, see it as time spent learning. Move on and find someone who can love u as u are with his whole heart. It’s just silly to stay with someone u don’t love.