My grandmother (GM) was kicked out of my aunt’s house went she caused so many marital problems my uncle threatened to divorce my aunt if she didn’t. She lived for a few years in a nursing home before the pandemic but during the pandemic there were tons of nursing home deaths so my aunt and mom got her out. I’m the oldest of my mother’s children so I got so much pressure to take care of my grandma during the pandemic.

I didn’t mind too much initially because the deal was I didn’t pay rent and lived with her to cook, clean and help her with her diabetes. I don’t know my GM well so I thought it might be a good bonding experience and I worked remote so it would be so bad. Well the first problem came when I told them I was bringing my dog. My GM freaked out telling me she would never let a filthy animal in her house. It was the one dealbreaker I had and I told my aunt or mom Oliver (my dog) had to come with but they never told my GM for fear of her reaction. I put my foot down saying if he isn’t coming I’m not either and I guess my GM gave up because she didn’t want to go back to the nursing home but she made Oliver’s life a living hell. She would scream at him every time she was him and I tried to keep them separate but she would demand I abandon him because she’s my GM. In the end I had no choice but to leave him with my friend temporarily because she was so unbearable.

Next was washing clothing, she demanded I wash all her clothing by hand and she had a washing machine but she would scream “you’re lazy!” at me if she catches me using it. She also wanted restaurant quality meals and throw sandwiches and cereal on the ground if she didn’t like it.

Finally she didn’t believe I worked because I work online (I’m an accountant) and she would yell at me during the middle of meeting for ignoring her when I told her I needed 30 min of peace to attend meeting. My boss told me many times to get her to stop doing that but she never listens.

She has diabetes that isn’t managed well and I tried to get her on a healthy diet but she screams and yells at me when she doesn’t get what foods she wants which cause huge sugar fluctuations which causes her ulcers on her feet to get worse and weep. It was hard to get Appointments to the doctor so I had to clean them and I am not qualified. When I persisted though the yelling and screaming her ulcers to maker her eat healthy her ulcers would get much better and start healing but in the end I gave up and let her eat anything she wanted so she would shut up but it made her blood sugars worse and her ulcers worse which I had to deal with.

So after almost 2 years of hell I got out and moved away. My GM is so mad because she expected I stay there looking after her until she passes. I told my mom and aunt I wasn’t doing that and they begged me to guilty me with the fact she was going to die alone at a nursing home.

I feel like a terrible person because I didn’t feel any guilt I just didn’t care after dealing with her for 2 years

My [26M] fiancée [25F] doesn’t want to contribute financially anymore after our engagement
We’ve met in college 7 years ago. When we first started going out to dates she would reject my attempt to pay the bills in full and insist we should split or each pays for what he ordered. I wasn’t expecting that because in Morocco it’s usually the guys who pay for the dates but since she insisted I said okay.

She would do it for regular dates (restaurant, coffeeshop, parks…) and also when we started going out for vacations. For example if she didn’t have money with her and I paid for something no matter how cheap it is she would give that amount when we next met.

Last summer we were on a vacation and in the last day of the vacation I had to cancel the flights because of an expected family business in the city we were visiting. We stayed for 3 more days and I’ve paid for both our hotel rooms and new plane tickets. Next time we met she gives me the money for the plane ticket and her hotel room but I refused to take them since it was because of me that we had to stay for more days than planned. But still she didn’t accept my refusal and I insisted that I take the money.

Even when talking about scenarios in the future she would still split the costs. When we were in a retail store and we saw a refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher pack and we agreed that it was a good deal she says “And it’s only cost 13000 each!!!” (the total price was 26000). Also, when talking about our future kids and discussing names and how are we going to raise them, when we started talking about schools she says “I know a school close to work. I’ve heard it’s good and it’s only 2000 per month so it’s 1000 each, and that includes the bus and lunch fees”

We got engaged last December and have the wedding in the summer. In the last two months we’ve started shopping for furniture and appliances for the apartment and I’ve noticed that she expects me to pay a much higher percentage than her in pretty much everything. She even refuses to pay anything for the TV because she doesn’t watch it.

Whenever I try to bring the subject up she ignores me or get defensive/dismissive whether by pretending she is tired, changing the subject, busy by work or trying to sweet talk me. We’ve had some pretty heated argument over the years but we could always sit and talk face-to-face and try to tackle the problems as a team, something that she can’t do when I bring this subject.

It’s not like she is struggling financially. She has a well paying job and she doesn’t provide for her parents (nor do they need her too) and she still buys very expressive stuff. Paying her share wouldn’t even affect her financially or downgrade her lifestyle.

I don’t have any problem to be the sole financial provider in our relationship but this sudden 180 degree change is something that I can’t understand especially coming from someone with her principles.

I’ve told my best friend about this and he says that I should cancel the wedding and run as far as possible from her because if she changed this much after the engagement who can say how much she’ll change after the wedding.

I don’t what to do or how to approach this any differently than what I tried by talking to her and at this point I don’t even know if I am with the same person I’ve been with all this time.

My girlfriend “freebleeds” all over my apartment and I’m considering breaking up with her

I’m 24m and my gf is 22f. Several months ago she got into this new method of dealing with her periods called “freebleeding”. It’s basically where you don’t wear any pads or tampons (no menstrual products for that matter) and just let the blood flow wherever.

Initially when she told me about this I was kinda okay with it as long as she contained it in her underwear or layed on towels. But then I started noticing period stains here and there. On the couch, drops on the floor, even on the bedsheets. The stains started soaking into the mattress. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I didn’t say anything until the room started accumulating a very weird odor. She said she would start cleaning it but never did.

She started freebleeding into my boxers and when I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that she basically said all of her underwear was soaked and she didn’t have anything else. I’d had enough and told her I wanted her to wear pads or tampons again like an adult if she couldn’t contain her messes.

She said her cramps were less severe doing stuff this way and that she didn’t want to stop. Also said it was childish to act this way about some period stains. I told her it was disgusting and that blood is still a biohazard regardless of where it comes from.

She got offended, said I was calling her dirty and we started arguing. I gave her an ultimatum to use menstrual products or to get out of my apartment and we’d be done. She hasn’t talked to me since and I really don’t want to break up with her but I’m just so grossed out and can’t deal with the smell. Those boxers were high quality too.

I met her in Bangkok, on a business trip. She was a waitress at the hotel I was staying at, and I was instantly drawn to her smile. She had long black hair, almond-shaped eyes, and a slender figure. She spoke English well, and we had a lot in common. We exchanged phone numbers, and kept in touch after I returned to Singapore.We started dating online, and soon I was flying back to Bangkok every month to see her. She was sweet, caring, and fun. She made me feel alive, and I fell in love with her. I wanted to marry her, and bring her to Singapore with me. I knew it would not be easy, but I was ready to face any challenge for her.I proposed to her on our one-year anniversary, and she said yes. We were overjoyed, and started planning our wedding. We decided to have a traditional Thai wedding ceremony in Bangkok, followed by a civil registration in Singapore. We also had to apply for a long-term visit pass for her, so she could stay with me legally. We had to submit a lot of documents, such as our birth certificates, income statements, marriage certificate, and photos of us together. We also had to pay a fee, and wait for several months for the approval.We had our wedding in Bangkok, in a beautiful temple. She wore a silk dress and a gold crown, and I wore a white shirt and pants. We had a monk bless us, and we exchanged vows and rings. We also had a water blessing ceremony, where our relatives and friends poured water over our hands and wished us happiness. It was a wonderful day, and we were so happy.We flew to Singapore the next day, and registered our marriage at the Registry of Marriages. We also checked the status of her long-term visit pass, and found out that it was approved. We were relieved, and excited to start our new life together. We rented a small apartment in Woodlands, near my office. We bought some furniture, and decorated it with our photos and souvenirs. We also bought a car, and a laptop for her. We wanted to make her feel comfortable, and at home.We faced some challenges, of course. She had to adjust to a new culture, a new language, and a new environment. She missed her family and friends, and sometimes felt lonely and homesick. She also had to deal with some prejudice and stereotypes, from some people who thought she was a mail-order bride, or a gold-digger. She was hurt by their comments, and sometimes cried. I tried to comfort her, and reassure her that I loved her, and that she was not alone. I also introduced her to some of my friends and colleagues, who were supportive and friendly. I encouraged her to pursue her interests, and find some hobbies. She enrolled in a cooking class, and a yoga class. She also volunteered at a local animal shelter, and made some friends there. She gradually adapted to her new life, and became more confident and happy.We also had some joys, of course. We explored Singapore together, and visited many places, such as the Botanic Gardens, the Marina Bay Sands, and the Sentosa Island. We also traveled to other countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, and Vietnam. We enjoyed each other’s company, and had a lot of fun. We also celebrated our birthdays, anniversaries, and festivals, such as Chinese New Year, Songkran, and Christmas. We exchanged gifts, and expressed our love. We also planned to have a baby, and start a family. We were excited, and hopeful.We have been married for three years now, and we are still in love. We have our ups and downs, but we always support each other, and work things out. We respect each other’s culture, and learn from each other. We are happy, and grateful. We are a team, and we are a family. We are a Singaporean and a Thai, and we are proud of it.

how to unlove someone? we broke up in november last year. It was a short relationship (less than 6 months).

but i poured out my whole heart and invested in this rs. we both envisioned a future together.

but his effort for me started depleting towards the end. no matter how much i tried to be understanding, to love him, it was so one sided and I realised that there was no more love. i knew he just didn’t know how to break that news to me.

so I became the dumper not by choice, but the dumper that was left with no choice.

here we are in april 2022, i’m still not over it. i’ve busied myself, went no contact the minute we called it quits, so why am I still not over.

I believe he is already done and moving on. But why am I still so stuck. I can’t do this anymore. I hate feeling so much for someone who has moved on and clocked out of a rs.

Netizens’ comments

• Key is distraction. Go for a random meetup or gym/dance event. Like half of them are there to get distracted and to start again.

You can do it

• Maybe you have to come to terms and forgive yourself for giving yourself to someone undeserving of your love. It might be this tension that you are struggling with instead.

Put in another perspective, it is your emotional losses that hurt. It could be another person that failed you in a similar manner, but the act of giving your all to someone who failed to give it back is painful. This could be because you expended yourself willingly, and the cost was great, and you could be subconsciously blaming yourself for not perceiving better and making a poor choice on whom you chose to pour all your love on. Your ex could simply be a representation of your perceived poor judgement.

Maybe take some time to forgive yourself. Love is a risk, and maybe when we fully have our hearts broken might we know the true value of a healthy relationship when we encounter it. Maybe when you can accept this as part and parcel of love, might you able to forgive yourself, let him go and move on.

So, instead of unloving someone, start loving you instead. Take care!