Writing in for some advice because I’m feeling very lost. To give some background, my parents don’t have the perfect relationship but they get along quite ok.

My mum said that she chose to marry my dad even though he was poor, because he was responsible, honest and hardworking. So fast forward 20+ years, he has been a good father and is very good to us. However, recently he has been going out late at night, which he says is to drink with his friends to destress due to work stress. But he has also been behaving weirdly and paying alot of attention to his appearance.

I was getting too suspicious so one day i decided to look at his phone (i know its wrong) and saw that he had a whatsapp chat with a young woman, and their chat were just quite flirtatious, like asking whether she was ok because she drank alot etc. after reading it i was really hurt and disappointed because i hate cheating and would never condone it.

But i am also not sure how to move forward because my mum relies on him and i know that this will hurt her deeply. I just feel so helpless and dont know what to do.

I cant even look at him in the eye now even though i had a close relationship with him before, i dont think i can respect him anymore

Here are what netizens think:

• Dun get involved with adults affairs. Most of the time, you dun even know what’s going on between your parents and put up a facade that it’s a happy family. Keep quiet and just watch your dad gets his own karma.

• I empathize. The point here is your mom. You want to protect your mom. I recently came across a case of marital infidelity and trust me, it’s a complete mess for everyone involved. If you can stop it before it starts, you will be doing everyone a favour, including your dad, and preventing a lot of potential and unnecessary hurt. Your dad might be going through some mid-life crisis. Some men go a bit kisiao during this period and do things that they will regret.

• My advice -have a heart to heart talk with your dad when you can summon up the courage. I disagree with those who asked you to ignore and live your own life and let adults settle their own. This is YOUR family. Now that you know something, and it affects you, how can you ignore it? Your mum also may not appreciate to be kept in the dark IF this flirting behaviour turns out to be more than just a few messages. But instead of revealing it to her, talk to your dad first and tell him what you think. If he has any conscience and plans to save the marriage, your talk with him may be the wake up call he needs before things get out of hand. In the meantime, think of how you can better support your mum if things get ugly.

Should I ever have kids, I’ll teach them values equally regardless of gender

My brother is so disrespectful towards my mom and me. He calls me a bitch, cusses at our mom and our dad is the only one who can do no wrong. He blames women for his dating life and decrease of long lasting marriages. He says most women are gold diggers and awful. He always tries to make fun of me for being a feminist (his female friends always back me up).

A netizen shared a story about how he went to a Thai disco with his friends and saw his father inside, drinking with a siambu.

Here is the story

I went *club name redacted* with my friends at *location redacted* a few weeks ago to celebrate my one of my friend’s birthday.

We ordered about 10 towers for the 4 of us and planned to have a really good time, anyway all 4 of us were single and we were trying to see if we could hook up with a siambu at the disco.

We were about 6 towers in, and I had drank probably the most because one of my friends was spending the whole night trying to siam drinks.

Needless to say, I was floating a little bit already.

I looked around trying to check out the siambus and i glanced across a table that was probably 5 tables across from our table.

I saw my dad.

He was drinking with a siambu and I thought I saw wrong, so I stumbled across to his table to confirm and yep, it was indeed him.

Just for a little bit of context, my parents have what I thought was a happy marriage and I always thought they loved each other.

I asked him what he was doing there, and he just said he was unwinding after work. I even saw him hanging $100 flower for the siambu that was drinking at his table.

He warned me not to say anything to my mother, which of course I kept the secret.

Anyway the night went on and I figured screw it (plus i was also pretty drunk), so I asked my dad and his siambu to join us at our table.

We even asked his siambu to introduce some girls and my friend even managed to bring her back to a hotel.

They have been texting almost every day ever since.

What a night huh?

Editor’s note: Never jio your mother to come along next time also?

Living with my folks at 30, no big deal, right? But lately, it’s been getting a bit tricky with my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything she does, but she’s been diving into my personal space like a detective on a case.

I mean, who I’m texting, where I’m going, who I’m hanging out with – it’s all under her radar. The weirdest part? She’s started texting my friends, asking about my whereabouts. Honestly, it’s embarrassing. Feels like she’s morphed into an obsessed girlfriend rather than a mom.

I get it, she cares, but I need some space, you know? It’s time to rein it in a bit, move from the detective mode to more of a mother-son vibe. Love her to bits, but a bit of breathing room wouldn’t hurt.

How? Any solution how to tell her off? It’s getting into my nerves.

Here are what netizens think:

• You don’t talk to her is it? Spend time to talk to her every day. She is acting this way because she wants to know more about your life. knn…when parents around kp say they kaypoh….

• Yeah no big deal if she acts like servant to prepare your meals , wash and clean for you like you are the hotel guest. Big deal if she starts asking you questions cos it’s invading your privacy.  Can’t have your cake and eat it too in life .

• Move out! You are an adult already

• She has nth to do. Make her busy wif her own life. Send her on travels, sign her up on classes.

• Have a H2H talk with your mom. Remind her you are an adult now. Otherwise, get your aunts or cousins to speak to her. Maybe your mom is feeling lonely and lost. Get her to sign up a new hobby.

My parents made me hate Chinese New Year.

I know it’s still early till CNY but I wanna get this outta my chest as the date draws near. For context, I’m 29 Chinese.

I understand CNY is like Christmas, families getting together, eat nice food and have a festive good time.

But due to my family’s circumstances, I hate CNY. My parents have been divorced for a long time, they no longer talk to each other but I am still in contact with them both.

I stay with my mom, dad supports her with money. My relationship with them are rocky but it’s all okay till Chinese New Year.

Every year, I am forced to choose between go eat reunion dinner with dad or mom. No matter who I choose, one of them will get angry and scold the hell out of me, pulling the “do you appreciate me?!” card.

And trying to explain myself and choosing every year based on who I think it’s fair has been stressful. Make dad happy, mom angry. Make mom happy, dad angry.

The worst part is they do not sympathise with my plight at all and accuse me as a bad son when I’m trying to compromise between them both.

Honestly I wish I can skip Chinese New Year every year so I do not have to go through this stress. Never had a happy CNY.

Going out with neither of them is not an option either as that’s an asshole move.

Sigh, another CNY, another battle. I don’t think I’ll ever celebrate CNY with my future family. I much prefer Christmas.

Netizens’ comments

1. Prepare a picture of a covid positive test
   Send them a picture of positive test
   Stay in room and game
2. Tell them to grow up and meet together once a year for everyone’s sake.
3. You ask them to play scissors paper stone over video call and you spend CNY with the winner.
4. Adopt a strict alternating year policy.
   But really, hardly anyone likes CNY. It’s just a pain and pretty toxic giving out those yearly status reports to relatives you meet once a year, being compared to others around your age. And the horrible music, the garish decorations, the expensive and repetitive foods.