Should I ever have kids, I’ll teach them values equally regardless of gender

My brother is so disrespectful towards my mom and me. He calls me a bitch, cusses at our mom and our dad is the only one who can do no wrong. He blames women for his dating life and decrease of long lasting marriages. He says most women are gold diggers and awful. He always tries to make fun of me for being a feminist (his female friends always back me up).

A netizen shared a story about how he went to a Thai disco with his friends and saw his father inside, drinking with a siambu.

Here is the story

I went *club name redacted* with my friends at *location redacted* a few weeks ago to celebrate my one of my friend’s birthday.

We ordered about 10 towers for the 4 of us and planned to have a really good time, anyway all 4 of us were single and we were trying to see if we could hook up with a siambu at the disco.

We were about 6 towers in, and I had drank probably the most because one of my friends was spending the whole night trying to siam drinks.

Needless to say, I was floating a little bit already.

I looked around trying to check out the siambus and i glanced across a table that was probably 5 tables across from our table.

I saw my dad.

He was drinking with a siambu and I thought I saw wrong, so I stumbled across to his table to confirm and yep, it was indeed him.

Just for a little bit of context, my parents have what I thought was a happy marriage and I always thought they loved each other.

I asked him what he was doing there, and he just said he was unwinding after work. I even saw him hanging $100 flower for the siambu that was drinking at his table.

He warned me not to say anything to my mother, which of course I kept the secret.

Anyway the night went on and I figured screw it (plus i was also pretty drunk), so I asked my dad and his siambu to join us at our table.

We even asked his siambu to introduce some girls and my friend even managed to bring her back to a hotel.

They have been texting almost every day ever since.

What a night huh?

Editor’s note: Never jio your mother to come along next time also?

Living with my folks at 30, no big deal, right? But lately, it’s been getting a bit tricky with my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything she does, but she’s been diving into my personal space like a detective on a case.

I mean, who I’m texting, where I’m going, who I’m hanging out with – it’s all under her radar. The weirdest part? She’s started texting my friends, asking about my whereabouts. Honestly, it’s embarrassing. Feels like she’s morphed into an obsessed girlfriend rather than a mom.

I get it, she cares, but I need some space, you know? It’s time to rein it in a bit, move from the detective mode to more of a mother-son vibe. Love her to bits, but a bit of breathing room wouldn’t hurt.

How? Any solution how to tell her off? It’s getting into my nerves.

Here are what netizens think:

• You don’t talk to her is it? Spend time to talk to her every day. She is acting this way because she wants to know more about your life. knn…when parents around kp say they kaypoh….

• Yeah no big deal if she acts like servant to prepare your meals , wash and clean for you like you are the hotel guest. Big deal if she starts asking you questions cos it’s invading your privacy.  Can’t have your cake and eat it too in life .

• Move out! You are an adult already

• She has nth to do. Make her busy wif her own life. Send her on travels, sign her up on classes.

• Have a H2H talk with your mom. Remind her you are an adult now. Otherwise, get your aunts or cousins to speak to her. Maybe your mom is feeling lonely and lost. Get her to sign up a new hobby.

My parents made me hate Chinese New Year.

I know it’s still early till CNY but I wanna get this outta my chest as the date draws near. For context, I’m 29 Chinese.

I understand CNY is like Christmas, families getting together, eat nice food and have a festive good time.

But due to my family’s circumstances, I hate CNY. My parents have been divorced for a long time, they no longer talk to each other but I am still in contact with them both.

I stay with my mom, dad supports her with money. My relationship with them are rocky but it’s all okay till Chinese New Year.

Every year, I am forced to choose between go eat reunion dinner with dad or mom. No matter who I choose, one of them will get angry and scold the hell out of me, pulling the “do you appreciate me?!” card.

And trying to explain myself and choosing every year based on who I think it’s fair has been stressful. Make dad happy, mom angry. Make mom happy, dad angry.

The worst part is they do not sympathise with my plight at all and accuse me as a bad son when I’m trying to compromise between them both.

Honestly I wish I can skip Chinese New Year every year so I do not have to go through this stress. Never had a happy CNY.

Going out with neither of them is not an option either as that’s an asshole move.

Sigh, another CNY, another battle. I don’t think I’ll ever celebrate CNY with my future family. I much prefer Christmas.

Netizens’ comments

1. Prepare a picture of a covid positive test
   Send them a picture of positive test
   Stay in room and game
2. Tell them to grow up and meet together once a year for everyone’s sake.
3. You ask them to play scissors paper stone over video call and you spend CNY with the winner.
4. Adopt a strict alternating year policy.
   But really, hardly anyone likes CNY. It’s just a pain and pretty toxic giving out those yearly status reports to relatives you meet once a year, being compared to others around your age. And the horrible music, the garish decorations, the expensive and repetitive foods.

My boss threatened to fire me over my approved holiday

Not sure if this is the right place; but I see a lot of other work related posts.

Basically my new boss approved my 3 weeks holiday. Then 10 days in, he tells me he decided he’s going to take his family on holidays instead, and now my holiday has been cancelled.

I said I can’t cancel because I have flights and hotels booked for my family, and they all took time off to hang out over Christmas. They offered to pay me back for my flights, but not for my villa and family flights as the others can still use it.

Apparently it’s my fault because I said I wasnt even leaving Singapore, and just staycation for the time. So he doesn’t see why I need the time off. I just figure my plans when I’m off work has nothing to do with my company and I booked a last minute trip for the family as they were all offered time off during the festive season.

This just sounds absolutely crazy to me, our HR departments is stationed overseas and on holiday so I can’t get in touch with them.

I’m still going on this holiday; just seeing if anyone knows if there would be a legit reason to be fired over this. I get there are sometimes emergencies; but a family holiday is not, a lack of planning on his end shouldn’t be an emergency on mine.

Netizens’ comments

1. Do you still have the evidence that your boss approved your leaves previously? If there is, then you will be perfectly fine
2. He approve right?
   He sign off right?
   Then it is his problem for not clarifying it earlier and communicating properly like a “leader” is supposed too.
   this would not even be an issue if he had not been a snake and just straight up told you: “OP, are you on a staycation? I may need to call you back, is it alright? We will compensate you properly. If that is not possible, I need you to do XYZ before you leave.” Done.
   CB no balls “leaders” who are more socially inadept then a toddler. He f-ed up, now he is trying to make it look like you f-ed up. This company has no future if he is the boss, I would honestly look for something better.
3. Just quit bruh. This kind of boss, earn money off their employees’ back but never give back.

Stopped by 2 policemen who checked phone

I was waiting for my friend in a car by the road at night when 2 officers approached me and asked for my IC, checked my car, and went through my phone (personal chats, apps, photos). I felt my privacy was violated after the event.

The reason given was they were conducting an operation for drugs, illegal gambling, and vices.

Apparently, it’s only borderline legal for them to go through someone’s phone. They need to have the person under investigation before being able to check someone’s phone.

But I have a question, what’s a way to respond to this request? How to refuse this phone check nicely?

If a person refuse, can the police inconvenience him/her, by asking to follow them to the station and make you wait for hours? In that case what can a person do? Can a citizen say no?

What they are doing is borderline misuse of power isn’t it?

Netizens’ comments

1. Basically, can do nothing la. Surrender phone, let them check, and lodge complaint afterwards which we know what that means in Malaysia – nothing gets done.
2. I remember when my friends and I are in grab taxi going home (3 am) a police man in motorcycle stop us and they want to check each person on the car, I’m sitting in the passenger seat and the police is speaking in Malay so we don’t understand. Good thing the grab driver is very nice he noticed that I am kinda confuse so he answered the police in English for us to understand. My sleepy soul woke up and shift to 350 degrees. Damn! Still remember how the police knock on the window of the car.
3. Theoretically, they were random checking your phone and that isn’t allowable, unless u are under investigation for a suspected crime. But this is Malaysia.
4. Foreigner here, whom such thing happened various times. At some point, I would just tell them that it’s completely fine, but that I would like this check to happen in the police station with the presence of someone from my embassy. They would usually freak out and let it be (I don’t even have an actual embassy in Malaysia, lol).