This happened at new year’s but I’m still getting scolded for it so here we are.

My brother has 2 kids with his ex wife. Ever since they split he’s been constantly saying she’s a terrible mother who doesn’t know anything about the kids and doesn’t deserve any custody of them, but the examples he gives for this seem to me like moments of absent-mindedness.

Things like her giving a wrong date of birth (she said 8th instead of 18th, then corrected herself), forgetting which kid interest is which cartoon, not knowing one of them only eats one flavor of a particular food, and buying the wrong flavor.

I know his ex, and from what I’ve seen she’s a great mom. So unless I’m seriously missing something, it seems like my brother is just exaggerating to make her look bad. I’ve also always had a sneaking suspicion that he doesn’t know very much about his kids.

His wife had them for new year’s and I figured he’d have a lot to say about it, so I found out some info about the kids and when he started claiming his ex knows nothing about the kids and is therefore a terrible mother I quizzed him on his kids. It was pretty simple stuff, favorite toys, teacher’s names, allergies, favorite colors, favorite TV shows, what they want to be when they grow up. He didn’t do very well. Incidentally, my other brother and sister knew all of that information about their own kids.

My brother was mad at me then and is still mad at me over 2 weeks later. My parents say I need to apologize for embarrassing him in front of the whole family. I think if he was gonna claim his ex knows nothing about their kids and that makes her a bad mom, he should be prepared to demonstrate that he actually knows things about them.

Should I apologize?

Here are what netizens think:

• This! He’s mad because you’ve highlighting an issue that he’s uncomfortable with about himself. His anger is clearly deflected embarrassment about himself. If he comes to you for another apology I’d double down and let him know how transparent he is. He’s letting his children down and making a show of himself.

• Better still tell him you will apologize if he can tell you the answer to a question about his kids.

• Yep and tbh, I would think he’s probably a bit of a narcissist. Seems like he’s trying to get out ahead of it

For some context, my 84 y.o grandfather is from my father’s side so my mother isn’t biologically related to him.

My father passed away several years ago, and my grandmother (grandfather’s wife) also passed away about 2 years ago. My mom and I have never really been close to my grandfather but since my dad’s and grandma’s passing we’ve tried to reach out more and provide more support since he’s really struggling and grief-stricken on his own.

My mom has this routine of dropping off this specific brand of bread to my grandpa’s place whenever he’s low on bread even though he goes grocery shopping with my uncle every Sunday and can easily get the bread himself.

My mom has also been acting very visibly uncomfortable when my grandfather greets us all with hugs which I never understood. She just recently revealed to me that she’s been acting uncomfortable because when she goes to drop off bread and asks my grandpa if he needs anything else, he has said multiple times that he “does need something more but she never gives it to him”, and also makes a lot of comments about how young she looks.

So she suspects he only wants her to drop off bread so he has the chance to see her alone.

He also has winked at her after making these types of comments, and she said he’s even slapped her butt before. He’s never done or said anything inappropriate to me but after learning this it’s changed my perception of my grandfather completely and I kind of want nothing to do with him anymore, or to at least confront him about it, because he has kept questioning me about why my mom acts so distant and uncomfortable around him.

My mom won’t go to visit him by herself anymore and will sometimes get me and my brother to drop off the bread. I don’t really know what to do or believe since it’s very hard to envision my grandfather in this way, especially since he’s still in so much pain from losing my grandma, but my mom would never lie about something like this.

We plan to have dinner with him on his birthday since no one else is visiting him but I don’t know if I’ll be able to face him. Should I bring this up with him? Question him? Tell other family members about it? Cut off all contact with him?

A netizen shared how she refused to let her boyfriend’s sisters and her friend sleep at her home because of her bad track record and it was late at night.

Here is the story:

Woke up to a call at 1am last night from my BF’s sister. I missed the call because I was super groggy and didn’t pick up in time.

She calls my BF, and asks if her and her friend can sleep at our place.

I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want them to come, it’s 1 am. We both have to be up at 5 am for work. We have two active puppies that get excited for company.

In the past when my BF’s sister has sleptover, the dogs barked all night. It’s not a good fit in my opinion for us to have company at the moment, just until we can set up a bedroom, or the puppies grow old enough to be calm.

On another note, I don’t trust the friend that would be crashing as well. She steals and she just is a impulsive person that really just thinks about herself.

I’ve been on a family vacation with her and she has zero respect for anyone else.

One night she was up at way past 3 am blasting music, and didn’t turn it down even though I asked her politely. I also wouldn’t feel comfortable with her being in my house, unattended, after my BF and I leave for work.

So, my BF told her no, and they ended the call.

He was really upset with me, and made the choice to call her back and say she could stay over. In that amount of time, she found a place to stay.

This morning he woke up and was upset with me. I explained all my reasons for not wanting them to stay over. I know I should be kind and help people, and if it was an emergency, without a doubt I would help.

But it was an impulsive thing and they have plenty of family and friends that she could ask for help.

Back in 2010-2011 I met an old man who used to be an army regular, of whom I became very good friends with. His wife passed away in 2012 and he didn’t have much of anyone left as he outlived his whole family. My mother often made dinners for him and we became very close as we spent a lot of time together. He was like the father I didn’t have and I respected and loved him as if he was my father.

Fast forward to May of 2021. He had a fall at the nursing home that he was at and broke his hip and a couple of ribs. He later fell again at the nursing home and broke his clavicle and three more ribs just a few weeks after his first fall. Sadly, that was the beginning of the end. He stopped eating and drinking and died in Mid July. He always had a fascination of ghosts and told us a particular ghost story that took place in the 1950’s.

I remember I asked him to visit me if he could and he said he would try. The last time I saw him, he said I love you and passed away shortly after. I was thankful I was there, but I think he held on just long enough for me to leave so I wouldn’t have to see him pass away he died 5 min after I left.

Now, back to the 1950’s ghost story. He used to live in a house that he thought was haunted. If they had guests over, the guests often felt a presence or had a lingering feeling that something wasn’t right. They would sometimes see shadows and hear things too. But the ghost that haunted their house seemed to be very friendly. My friend always treated the ghost like a member of their family so that may be why the ghost was friendly.

One day, in 1958, he went upstairs to go check something in the guest room and opened the door. He got hit with a cold blast of air and all of the curtains were completely horizontal toward the ceiling. He called his wife over who always saw it. The curtains remained that way for about 5 min before they slowly rested on their own.

After he passed, I would have dreams about him occasionally. Nice dreams too and left me feeling calm and at peace. We would sometimes hear footsteps and doors close in our house but didn’t pay much attention to it. One day, I heard a crash in the master bedroom and the curtains had fallen off of the wall somehow. I put them back up but could not figure out how they could have come off the wall.

The scariest one was around 3am in the morning, mid-October. My wife and I were sleeping and she heard a man talking. She couldn’t quite make it out but it sounded like he was telling a story of some sort (something he always liked to do ). My wife thought it was me talking and turned around to see what I wanted. She realized I was asleep and saw a shadow man standing next to the window right beside me with a triangular-shaped hat and completely opaque. It even blocked out the light from the side of the window. She got scared and screamed and turned on the light. The figure was still there but disappeared about 15 seconds later. I woke up and she said I stared right at it but I didn’t see anything.

Could this have just been sleep paralysis ? She was able to move and talk but I couldn’t see the figure. She’s always been a little “sensitive” to some degree.

So I’m thinking of getting myself an adult toy.

I’m a V, never really fingered myself (typing these things feels so taboo right now) but I want to start having fun with myself, to like, practise for the real thing, I guess.

I have looked up the type of lube I want to use, and now I’m onto looking at penetrative toys…. but they’re all really long and really thick.

I’m too scared to start with a really thick, long one. I know it will be painful and won’t fit, I’m really super terrified of getting hurt or hurting myself.

Can any of you ladies recommend me a small, thin toy that is safe and not hurtful for beginners?

Netizens comments

1. whatever you do, don’t force it! i bought one without doing much research and it didn’t fit.
   i was so frustrated. then i looked it up and there were suggestions to relax, take your time, and don’t force it. after a couple days it went in fine.
2. make sure to look at the dimensions for girth. If it is longer than you want/need, you don’t have to use all of the insertable length, but if it’s too wide then you can’t do much about that.
   Look at the material too, since many toys (often ones that are really cheap) are not body safe.
3. Don’t make yourself crazy about “getting ready” for the first time. Explore yourself and find out what feels good where. Also don’t set a high bar for yourself.

So during my 30th birthday, I was planning my birthday party for a while.

I was inviting my family and friends and had a table booked at a restaurant with Asian cuisine. When discussing the birthday reservation I have mentioned i would like to keep it adults only.

Simply so we don’t have to watch our language and my friends and family kids are all younger than 8, so spicy/Asian food will not be suitable and they will get bored. The place also doesn’t have kids menu.

This all went well and since the booking was for the noon on a weekend my friends didn’t have a problem to leave the kids with their partners.

However my sister demanded to know why I don’t want her kids at my birthday and refused to accept that it’s my birthday and the food is not suitable for kids.

I got annoyed and told her I would of considered to have her kids(5 and 8) around if she actually educated them instead of being on her phone, since her youngest doesn’t have any manners and throws tantrums whenever the kid doesn’t like/get something.

By tantrums I mean screaming and crying for hours and up to throwing food or running at other guests or members of staff in public, while she keeps being on her phone.

My sister and part of my family scolded me and she said she won’t come to my birthday or talk to me until I realise what I said was wrong.

My friends believe she is overeacting and are on my side, since a lot of them have younger kids and they behave a lot better.

So my fiancé has been raving about a birthday gift he’s planned on giving to me, he said it was sentimental because I told him I wanted more items of my own since I don’t have much money.

He said this gift was going to be $450 and I’m not materialistic but I was so happy he was getting a really thought-out gift and wanted to spend that much. Even though I told him multiple times he really doesn’t have to spend that much.

Anyways, today he tells me my gift is that he plans on giving me the Xbox I bought him for HIS birthday last year and spending money on a PlayStation for himself to replace it.

I said, “so basically you’re giving me something I’ve already paid for and getting yourself a new PlayStation..?” And he said “ugh if you’re gonna react and put it like that… never mind now I feel like Im having the worse day of my life and I don’t want to talk about it” so now it’s this whole ordeal.

I don’t if I’m for responding in a correct way to him.

Here are what netizen thinks:

• Wow, your boyfriend sounds like a moron to me! First, he tells you the value of this gift, which is weird and like he’s boasting about it. Then the fact it’s just his old X-Box that you gave to him? Then HE gets mad at YOU?

• He sounds like an extremely immature boy to me. He needs to do some growing up fast! Maybe this is a sign of too much gaming instead of getting out into the real world and finding out what life is REALLY like and how society actually works.

• All he’s trying to do is save himself the hassle of selling it on Carousell/Ebay. What an utter moron.
• He made out like it was a gift for you, when it was 100% a gift for him. He must know on some level that he’s done an awful thing, because of his reaction. 
• Your reaction is accurate & valid.

A netizen shared about how his best friend recent started dating a girl and now their (the two bestfriends) conversations are running dry.

Here is the story:

I’m finding it hard to accept that me and my bestfriend’s conversations are starting to go dry.
He started dating this girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for him because he’s been through a really bad break up, I’ve never seen him smile from ear to ear like that in a long time.

I met the girl recently when they visited earlier to introduce her to me, she’s really nice and caring for him which is what he really deserves compared to the toxic bitch before.

Only thing bothering me recently is we haven’t really spoken or chatted each other that frequently anymore.

Like I get it he needs to spend time with her to show his commitment to their relationship and I am 100% aware of that, it’s just deep down I can’t help but feel alone.

After me and my then girlfriend of 5 years broke up because she cheated, “because I want someone better” is what she said, left me a fear of being not good enough that hit me hard

My bestfriend has been there for me ever since, supporting me and always putting me in a good mood helping me forget about my ex, but I never ever forgot about how I felt back then

All i can do now is be happy for him, support him, and be by his side anytime