Partner (31/m) keeps fondling and groping me (24/f) even after I say something about it

For background, I have been together with him for over 5 years now, been living together for around 5 years as well. Also, apologies for any grammar or formatting issues.

My problem is that he is very… handsy with me. He loves to smack and grab my backside, fondle and play with my chest, touch me between my legs etc.

And he’s not gentle with it either, he likes to grab it like he’s trying to take a piece out of me. He even sometimes bites my more intimate areas. This happens all the time, not only when we’re in the bedroom.

Now, I understand that people show their affection in this way. But I hate it! I don’t feel appreciated or special.

I feel like a piece of meat! Like I’m just an object for him to grab whenever he wants to. And it hurts! Both physically and mentally.

I’ve asked him to stop, told him that it hurts when he does that and that I don’t like it but he thinks I’m over reacting and gets annoyed at me about it.

I don’t want to sound insensitive but he acts like a kid when their candy is taken away. And he just keeps doing it.

It’s been like this ever since the beginning of the relationship and I honestly feel constantly on the edge. Like I don’t have a say over my body just because we’ve been together for so long.

Am I just over reacting to this?

I am in my mid twenties, male. I work full time as a Regular in the SAF and it’s been 1 and a half years. I find my work okay, it’s enjoyable at times but work is work, ya know? I signed on very late because I took the longer route of studying. I went to ITE then Poly. In ITE and Poly, I made very few friends.. I am no longer in contact with any of them. I am weird and a screwup, I have been all along. I have done things that deserve their hate tbh. And even after so many years, I have learned to live with those regrets but it still is very hard to do so. I am pretty sure everyone has that one thought of “Only If I had…” or “I”m very sorry to this person”.

I am poor, I am not good looking and my personality is unlikeable. It also doesn’t help that when I try to talk to anyone and their first impression of a Regular is also not good. I am tired of people just looking at me as “someone with a stable job” or some uncle or auntie labelling all of us as “people who can’t study and signed on” or people who do better off than me and say we are “a waste of tax money”. Why can’t people look at each other… At me as an another person and get to understand or at least look at me as a person and not like some number.

I also have been feeling sick to my stomach and just tired because I have been trying for too long to find someone who can also understand me in a relationship. No one ever looks at me just for being me and I may not be a perfect person but deep inside when I ask myself truthfully, I know I’m not a bad person and above all things, I do my best to be accommodating and I have my own pride in my loyalty.

It always comes to who is more better looking, who can provide more, who is a better candidate to introduce to their parents, who has a nicer personality on the surface.. I think no one can deny all this because honestly, all of these are deciding factors that many of you reading consider regardless of gender. I’ve tried making it work out with those I’ve met over and over but I am done with being thrown away like trash. It always ends with “You’re a nice guy but nahhh lollll” or “There’s another guy and you just don’t measure up to the standards I need and I have to make the tough decisions and be real about all this”. I’m not a bad guy to any of them yet I am seen as worse than trash even tho they think it’s exaggerated. But then again, there is a difference between being thrown away like trash as opposed to doing it decently.

I visit escorts just to feel a little less lonely and useless even if they want my company for other reasons. I’ve even started drinking recently. It’s becoming a spiral.. What can I do turn my life around? Pls don’t ridicule, patronize and convince me otherwise of what I’ve typed here.. I would appreciate advice on moving forward and improving myself instead.

A woman shared how she divorced her husband because he is a “mummy’s boy”, and that he needs to ask his mother about every decision that he makes.

Here is the story:

“Hi, Recently I walked out of a marriage as my soon-to-be ex-husband is a mummy boy. Every single decision he will check with his mother.

Eg, buying shirts, he will call his mother and discuss this. And wherever he calls his mother, he will go to another end to speak on the phone.

Some of the weekends, when mother and son go out they will ask me to stay over at my parent’s place.

I am glad that now I made this decision of walking away. There wasn’t much communication between us. He is definitely not an ideal husband.

Taking off his pants is also an issue where he needs to ask his mom.

Guys what are the red flags of a mummy’s boy? Please care to share more of your experience.”

Editor’s note: Does his mother choose the outfits that he wears as well?

How to stop a friend from sending money monthly to “girlfriend”?

Hi, I’ve a friend who keeps sending money to his ‘girlfriend’ despite us mentioning all the red flags. His girlfriend is not local. He sends about 1.5k per month and he barely have enough for himself.

Here are some red flags: -They have been together for 2 years, and we always asked him to bring her out but she’s always working. -Even during eve of CNY when we want to have late night drinks, he said his gf’s boss wants to have reunion dinner tgt instead.

his gf is 11 years younger than him

he said his gf needs money for her house monthly instalment.

when he doesn’t have money to give his gf, he said his gf is understanding and would loan from others.

his gf works in a massage parlour (not judging here but even when his gf is ALWAYS working, even morning?! Is massage parlous working hours so long?) -his gf asked him to go back with her to China and would apply PR for him

Recently, he fell ill and don’t even have money for himself to see a doctor which is very worrying.

He still loves his “girlfriend” a lot and wouldn’t even ask her for money to see a doctor.

Anyone with similar experience? How do I get him to open his eyes to reevaluate his relationship??

Netizens’ comments

1. You cannot help a simp.
2. I can be his girlfriend.
   I think you and your friends should take him somewhere and have “the talk”. Make it clear and try your best to convince him. Go show him stories of ‘girlfriends’ getting money from their bfs. If he still not convinced then just let him continue to give until he realises his mistakes.
   Sometimes , some people cannot be saved. They need it to happen to them before they wake up.
3. His girlfriend probably makes more money than him lol.

Is it OK for consumers to make a stand?

As stores increasingly promote environmentally-friendly practices and impose additional charges for plastic bags, is it acceptable for consumers to take a principled stance by refraining from making a purchase unless the charges is waived off? Is it seen as petty behavior?

Context: Purchased a $34.50 candle and was charged additional 20 cents for a plastic bag.

I did not make a fuss, I just said I don’t want the item anymore at the cashier. It is not about the cost of the bag but my principle.

Netizens’ comments

1. The main problem i see it as the shop should not be profiting from charging for a plastic bag. It’s fine with me if it goes to some green charity. Not profit for the company.
2. at this point I don’t think there’s much we can amount too. tho I have been more aware of my purchases ever since and sometimes I do decide against buying things because of the dumb bag charge, maybe if there is a visible decline in spending theres a chance.
3. Lol not much of a stand. Is it petty? i guess? It is wrong to have a change of mind? No.
4. Cashier probably dont care either way, they arent the one making the policy nor will they feedback to the boss about “lost of sale”
5. You spend 15 mins to go to the shop, browse the items, q for the cashier then don’t buy. Whose time are you wasting?
6. The point is; take your own bag(s) next time, and you won’t come across to the poor service staff (who have to put up with your entitled attitude) as a bit of a prat for dumping your shopping at the last minute.
   It’s not the service staff who make the charge of 20 cents, but it is them who get the brunt from petty crap like this.
   Don’t want to pay 20 cents for a bag? That’s great! Nothing wrong with that. Bring your own plastic bags with you, and you’ll never pay for another bag again.
   Simple.

Boss threatens to fire me if I don’t smile

I 26F work in a company, my job is all the behind the scenes work, so I never deal with customers or even have to go to events.

Because my job requires me to think a lot, my concentration face looks kinda like this emoji 😐 and this emoji 🤔 mixed together.

I have a highly stressful job. Anyway, he told me he would fire me if I don’t smile while I’m doing my job. The ironic thing is, I do my job the best and get praised by the vice, who said they’ll not let me get fired.

However, I decided I’ll find another job. But my co-workers are begging me to stay. Even one said that if I leave, they’ll leave too. But why do I need to smile ???

Netizens’ comments

1. Does he have male subordinates?
   Just ask him how many of them he asks to smile.
   • (OP) Our company is mostly males. But I realise I’m the only female he ask to smile (that I’m aware of)
2. can you do the creepiest, lifeless serial killer smile?
3. If you do get a new job, when letting him know you’ll be quitting, also inform him he’s a pig and he should F off. And be sure to ….Smile while doing it.
4. Ask him – in an email – to clarify that comment – in writing – so that you understand exactly what his expectation is and why it’s related to your job.
5. Ugh, I could have written this exact thing when I was 26! Except that it was a woman boss who complained that I had “a face on.” I was busy! And concentrating!
6. If you’re sociable, you’re too social. If you concentrate on your work – because that’s what you’re there to do – they complain that you’re antisocial. It’s a bullshit game of petty, unhappy ppl that want to drag you down. Those ppl SUCK.

Now scared to even open pdfs

Apparently my friend send me this about someone she knows.

The scammers have changed their modus operandi. They don’t ask you to download the app. My neighbour told me, yesterday, her sister (a cancer patient)wanted a part time helper to clean her house.

Hence, she went to Facebook. Called the number and made the request. The advertiser asked whether she had a Paynow and she said that she had.

He directed her to make the partial payment and he will send the invoice to confirm. (Note:He did not ask her to download an app as people are getting alert).

When she received the invoice on the PDF format, she did not suspect any foul play and clicked it. The invoice showed the amount paid and the balance to be paid. Thereafter, she went to sleep.

Next morning, her phone could not be switched on. She used her lap top to check her DBS bank account. Her $20K was gone, her 2 fixed deposits of $25K , which had not reached the maturity date was also gone. Total loss was $ 70K.

When she went to the bank and asked why her fixed deposit was also gone, the receptionist told her that digital banking allows you to transfer the amount back to your account to facilitate withdrawals without going to the bank.

Police told her the malware was embedded in the PDF document. So folks, beware that the scammers are always changing their modus operandi

Netizens’ comments

Fyi, you can use a different PDF reader like SumatraPDF on Windows to prevent embedded malware from running. For Android, you can use an alternative PDF reader like ReadEra or Foxit PDF Editor.

However, it is extremely unlikely that she really received a PDF file that has embedded malware. What most likely happened is that the user clicked a link on the PDF file thinking it will redirect to PayNow, but instead it directed the user to download and install an APK file. After installation, the app asked for their login details, which is game over by then. To be clear, after this, the attacker has login password + control of 2FA device, and can now login directly on iBanking website and bypassing any mobile app checks. This is why hardware tokens (or alternative solutions like physically going to ATM to authenticate large transfers) will solve the issue.

Embedded malware exploits the vulnerabilities in the PDF reader (usually Adobe PDF Reader) to escape the Android application sandbox and run malicious code. Using a different PDF reader solves the issue because the embedded code is usually targeted at popular apps like Adobe Acrobat. Since the exploit does not work when you use a different PDF reader, the embedded malware code will not run.

EDIT: Many YouTube channels were hacked by using such techniques on Windows via stealing the session token from Chrome browser. LinusTechTips is one of them. The PDF file was not actually a PDF file but an executable file with “.pdf.exe” and icon looks like the Adobe PDF icon. As of today (21 Oct 2023), I’ve never heard of such embedded malware PDF exploits on Android yet.

A man was left in a lurch after his date ended things with him after consulting a temple stating that they are “not suitable”.

Here is his story:

Breakup due to parents superstition. Anyone encounter this issue?

Met and dated a girl from online dating app for almost 2 months, recently just met her parents. But out of sudden, she told me that her parents went to ask temple said we not suitable.

Wanted to breakup. Both of us 33 years old. Not really sure an excuse or what.

Any advice?

Here are what netizens think:

• When u get a diagnosis from 1 doctor. If its not something good, confirm u will seek 2nd and 3rd opinion.. so u can go Few more temple..

• Do you want parent in-law like that?But they don’t want you to be their son in law. Find the one who welcome you wholeheartedly.P.S. If she really loves you, do you think she will care about this superstitious belief? I married my husband who is 100% incompatible on any science of superstitions. We are together 22 years. She doesn’t want to work it out with you. That’s it. Good luck

• Excuse or not don’t matter already. Just accept that she don’t want to see you anymore.

• Win liao lor, use this as excuse, what else can u do, find another temple to prove her parents wrong?

• it is an excuse if her parents dont know your birth sign and then suddenly know u r incompatible.but either way, it is true that she does not want to continue dating you. find someone else.

My (23M) girlfriend (23F) asked me if I would get a vasectomy and I initially told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and is considering this in our relationship and doesn’t want to talk.

We are in long distance relationship and she asked me this out of the blue in a Facetime call. I told her I honestly didn’t even know what a vasectomy initially was so she explained it to me that same call. After explaining she asked me if I would do one and I told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and won’t reply to me.

After she hung up, I went ahead and spent a few hours reading articles and blogs to educate myself about the benefits of vasectomies and the reasons to decide if it’s the best choice for me.

I’m much more okay with going through a procedure now after reading up about it but I’m not 100% for doing it because of the process/cost of it and us both talking about wanting to marry each other and have children together.

I don’t think it’s fair for her to ask me out of the blue an important question like this and then get upset with my initial answer because it takes many couples, MONTHS and even YEARS to discuss with each other if a vasectomy is the best option.

I can understand her or any girl getting upset if their partner encourages them to tie their tubes or use birth control and not do the same thing but I never pressed those idea towards her because I know how BC might negatively affect her.

I’ve told her that I’d much rather choose abstinence as the first option before consider doing a vasectomy and also because sure, a vasectomy is reversible, but also there could be implications where it won’t work and can also be very costly.

I’ve sent her a long text about how I feel and how I’ve educated myself on it, but still need to learn more about the procedure and if it’s right. I also let her know how I feel that isn’t fair for her to be upset after my initial response because something as big as this takes a lot of time to think through.

She still hasn’t replied to me so I’m going to wait a little bit to see if she wants to call and talk about it after she reflects on my response. Not sure what I should I say?