I am a Malaysian PR who has been working in Singapore for over 4 years now. Like every other Malaysian who is working in Singapore, I came here with only one thing in mind, hoping for a better future and able to provide a better life for my family back home. Now I am not so sure anymore.

Prices are increasing now. And I will soon be a third-year PR which means a 20% deduction of CPF.

At the time my disposable income will be even lower. Every month a whole chunk of my income is for the rent and I don’t know how long until my landlord would inform me of the rental increment. I heard the rental for some of my friends has increased as much as SGD900 per unit.

That’s insane. My landlord asked for a copy of my lease a few weeks ago, I was so scared I told him I have lost it. I am currently making a salary of SGD3,400 but after deduction of CPF, I am getting SGD2,800-ish. After paying the rental for my small room, all I have left is SGD2000.

The transport, the food and the PUB have all gone up in price. Other than that, I have to pay allowance to my family, insurance, phone bills and some monthly commitments back home. At the end of the month, I barely have two coins rubbed together.

When I moved here from Malaysia, I told myself I was going to enjoy my life here, I don’t want to fill my life with works and only money. But now I have to choose money over life because having a life means spending money here in Singapore.

The government has assured the people that assistance will be provided but only for Singaporeans.

What about us? We have left our homeland, our beloved family (some of us even left their kids back home) to come here for a better life and to contribute to the economy here. But what do we get in return? Don’t get me wrong. I will always be appreciative of the privilege the government has given us the Malaysian as compared to other nationalities. But to be honest, most work pass holders and PRs are the most vulnerable under this climate. Sometimes I am really frustrated by all the chaos going on around the world that’s started by the top 1% most elitist group.

They are enjoying all the resources that one commoner like us could only dream for. Yet they are still trying everything to make life more difficult for us who come from the bottom of the pyramid.

I know posting this here might subject me to some of the harsh critics from some readers. For example, what about the construction workers from Bangladesh and Pakistan or the domestic helpers from Indonesia and the Philippines. But this doesn’t mean my complain is not valid. As a work pass holder, we always face oppression from the employer. Because they knew we were expendable. They knew they could always get someone across the border to replace us, easily. Even though it the shut down of the border for the past two years has made employers’ life (only those who abuse this system) miserable. But the COVID is also another burden added on over shoulder. I remember me staying in my room alone during COVID breakdown, crying while everyone was shouting out from their unit for frontline workers. I felt so lonely and I miss my family. I am sure every other Malaysian who is working in Singapore shared the same emotion.

I am already getting words from some of my friends that they plan to move back Malaysia for good. I am not sure, I like Singapore so much but if the situation getting worse maybe I will look for another plan. I can’t imagine the life after GST hikes to 9%. It’s just so much uncertainties now.

seeking wisdom: it’s my first time being invited to wedding and the venue is quite expensive (think 300-odd)… i’m still a student so i would like to ask:

1) must my angbao be able to cover the cost of the seat?

2) if i don’t want to spend that amt, should I not go?

3) how should i reject then?

4) any advice that would help in making a decision!!!

thank you

Netizens’ comments

• Key thing as you mentioned. Just remember that you are still a student. Second, if that friend is truly your friend and knows your current status, what you give will not matter. What matters to him/her is that you attend his/her wedding. If that person is not close to you, it doesn’t matter if you don’t attend. Just my opinion.
• We really need to address this ludicrous expectation that the guest should cover the expense of the wedding. Give whatever amount you can afford or not at all. You’ll know if the couple are friends worth having based on how they react. Or if they are people you barely know, just say you travelling that day and unable to attend. You have zero obligation to attend.
• How much to give is entirely up to you, covering the cost is just a good gesture. If i expect my guest to cover the cost i might as well host the wedding on the moon since cost is basically covered by guest. But please don’t let this distract you from the deal KFC is running at the moment.
• You are not invited to pay for their wedding. Give within your means. If they decide to choose an expensive venue, they should be prepared to top up after the ang pows.

I’ll cut straight to the point.

My mom visited us yesterday morning at 10am while I was at work. She must’ve found the house a mess because once she left, she called me to rant about how filthy and cluttered the house was. she went on a long rant about my wife having an attitude and almost kicking her out for pointing out that the house looked filthy and smelled.

I just nodded and uh-um’d through the entire call then went home thinking this was no big deal. But once I walked in, my wife started arguing with me about my mom berating her for the state of the house and calling it names like filthy and calling my wife names like dirty beggar.

She asked for my thoughts on this “verbal abuse” that mom keeps subjecting her to and I told her to just ignore her cause she’s like this with my brother’s wife too. She got upset and said that no, she doesn’t have to ignore her and mom has one chance to apologize or she’s no longer welcome here.

I said that was an exaggeration because, for one, she knows how much of a clean freak mom is and two, and let’s be honest here, She should’ve tidied up the house if she didn’t want any negative comments from mom or any other guest for that matter.

She said she really had no time to clean when she’s taking care of the kids and the dishes and whatnot and insisted that mom should’ve had basic human decency and called beforehand. I said fine but no longer allowing mom to visit at least for the kids sake was, in my opinion, over the top.

She said if I was okay with the kids hearing my mom’s despicable words then she’s not. She then argued about how I shouldn’t blame her for not tidying up the house when there’s so much on her plate already. I said I get it but she was really making a big out of it. now I could talk to mom about visiting times but I think that my wife is to blame too here. My wife was mortified and is saying she’ll go through to no longer allow my mom into the house if this keeps happening and the fight just got worse.

I feel like I got stuck in between both sides of the argument and was being blamed for both of their behaviors.

I (27M) hooked up with a 62 year old woman.

So tonight i went to this bar to meet a chick (24f) i met on hinge. i meet the chick, we have a few drinks and nothing is really there.

She decides to leave and i figure i might as well chill for a minute since the journey home is kinda long. while i’m sitting outside drinking my beer, this woman (62f) approaches me and starts chatting.

she tells me how she just went through a divorce with her husband of 35 years and earlier in the night had gone out with a man she met online.

the guy stiffed her on the tab and left her with a $60 tab, and she continues on about how bad the dating scene is for people her age.

i agree with her, cause it’s pretty bad for people my age too, in my experience. we hit it off pretty well and next thing i know she’s touching my thigh, moving in closer to me.

it threw me off because i’ve never experienced this with an older woman before. so i decide to kiss her. it was such a weird experience.

this lady is around the same age as my parents so i was hesitant at first. for a 62 year old woman she was in very good shape and very attractive so that made things a lot easier, plus she was just really nice and fun to be around.

we made out for like 2 mins before she decides to invite me back to her place. we get to her place and she explains that her daughter lives there as well so k we need to be quiet.

i ask how old her daughter is and she says 28. super weird moment for me lol but probably one of the best nights i’ve had in a while.

the whole experience was surprising and very satisfying overall. i still feel super weird about it though.

Did I overpaid?

Went to a 24hr clinic for COVID symptoms and was charged 120 bucks. So my usual clinic downstairs My house was close on that day so I went to the 24hr clinic which is nearby. And the timing I went is on the morning, around 10am which is not in the lull hours.

Usually I pay around 55 bucks for average at my usual clinic with 70-80 bucks max for having antibiotics etc.

The doctor at the 24hr didn’t give me any antibiotics and instead give me many medications which i see that it’s unnecessary.

As usually I only get around 4-5 meds at my neighbourhood clinic including antibiotics. But he gave me mouthwash and many cough syrups which I think one should be enough as it has been for the neighborhood clinics I have been to.

So in total there are like 7-8 meds. And I paid a whooping 120 bucks

Is this normal?

Netizens’ comments

1. Bro thinks antibiotics are the expensive good stuff and wants antibiotics for his covid? Humanity is f-ed.
2. u don’t need antibiotics for viral infections. antibiotics work against bacterial infections. too much antibiotics is also not good for you in the long run (may lead to antibiotic-resistant bacterial growth).
   the consultation fee of about $32 sounds about there (some clinics charge $25, etc?) sounds like it’s a lot of meds that you may not take. what i wld do sometimes is to let the counter know i don’t want a certain medication (eg i already have at home), and then ask them to take it off the list. hope that helps for ur next visit.
   u can also do a check on how much the meds may cost outside (esp if it’s an OTC medication)
3. U dun want to pay for medication u just tell the counter they will take the items off
4. 24 hr clinics are exp af. If you’re not deathly sick, try to tahan till monday.

My (29M) girlfriend (30m) says I need to get rid of my dead wife’s stuff or she’s leaving

I first got married at the age of 18 to my girlfriend I’d had since age 15. We enjoyed 6 years of marriage together before she died in a motorcycle accident, leaving me broken for years.

A bit over one year ago (4 years after my wife’s passing) I met my current girlfriend at a work event and we really hit it off.

I’d decided that it was time for me to start looking for a serious partner again and that my wife would’ve wanted me to be happy.

My current girlfriend and I became more serious over time and we moved in together 2 weeks ago. I’ve talked with her extensively about my deceased wife and the mental health issues it brought to me and she has been nothing but supportive and loving.

The problems began after we moved in together. I have a small chest that I used to keep under my bed that has a few things that belonged to my deceased wife along with some photos of the two of us.

During the moving process my girlfriend noticed the chest and asked about it, so I explained what it was and showed her the contents. I didn’t really expect it to be a big deal, but since I showed her things have never been worse for us.

She sat me down that night and explained that because I still had the chest and wanted to keep it, it was indication to her that I hadn’t moved on from my deceased wife and that she doesn’t think she can continue the relationship unless I “get rid of it”. I was pretty shocked at this, and told her that I needed some time to think about it.

Well, it’s been two weeks now and I still don’t know what to do. My current girlfriend and I have had no major problems up until this point, and she’s asking me daily when I plan to get rid of it and says she can’t live in the same space as the chest.

I really don’t want to get rid of it but I want to continue my relationship with her as well. What can I say to get her to understand? Or am I being crazy by keeping those things for years?

My gf (30f) pees on me (31m) in the shower

My gf (who is a doctor) and I are pretty active together in bed and I would say both of us are pretty adventurous in terms of nastiness as long as there is consent. Recently we have started to shower together after lovemaking more often.

I have communicated to my girlfriend many times that I dont have an affinity for any type of “pee-play”. As a personal preference I find it quite off putting.

Last night after we finished making love, while I was washing my face in the shower, she started to pee right in front of me and some of it got on my legs.

I did not realize until I finished washing my face and I did get quite upset but did not raise my voice. I simply mentioned that she knows I don’t like this type of thing especially without consent.

She laughed when I mentioned the word consent and said it’s entirely harmless. And this wasn’t the first time she’s done this – only that I asked her to stop in prior occurrences.

Anyways I am still quite peeved over this because I see it as a breech of consent and trust. Her view is that I am over reacting and we should be comfortable with each other’s “biological processes”.

Just wanting y’all’s opinion on this. I can definitely be high strung at times but I really think this is a hill I’m willing to die on.

Netizens’ comments

1. If you don’t like it, she has to respect.
   But peeing in the shower is just peeing in the shower. It means she is quite comfortable with you. Maybe too much in your opinion.
2. Stop showering with her
   Explain to her explicitly why you are stopping and why you don’t trust her because she can respect something as simple and not doing her biological process on you.
   If she refuses to give or tries to vilify you, it’s time to start reassessing your relationship because that’s kind of sociopathic.
3. Perfect ‘reverse the genders’ type of thread and I’m not the type to think that always applies, but it definitely does in this case.

This time last year I had 30k in my bank account.

Today, I have a nice $500 and just recently had to move back in with my parents, phone gets cut off in 2 days if I don’t pay the bill that hasn’t been paid in months, which if I do I’ll have an even nicer $200 to my name.

But hey, on the bright side I start a new job tomorrow that is close to my parents house, going to be able to pay off $1700 in CC debt and unpaid bills and slowly get my shit (once great) life back on track.

I don’t want to be a burden to my family any longer than I have to be so I’m hoping I can be back in a place of my own in a few months. But this time I’ll take life seriously.

Edit:

I ended up quitting my job because of crap management, thought I could have easily found another one cause of my qualifications but fast forward to today I guess I thought wrong.

Drank alcohol and ate out everyday, buying stupid sht. I learned from it and won’t ever do that again. It’s a blessing my parents let me come back home while I get my shit together.

Netizens’ comments

1. Lesson to all. Don’t quit your job unless you have another lined up that’s pays equal or more.
2. I lost a TON of money trying to get rich quick. Never doing that again. Saving my money and not doing any schemes this time
3. Whatever happened to you this year, stinks. I hope next year is better for you. On the bright side – you have your parents who are letting you move in with them. You won’t be homeless. So I hope you appreciate that. And I hope it means they love you very very much !
4. It’s rough times right now with inflation and so many other financial issues but if you were able to save $30k in the past you should be able to do it again even better after you get back on your feet.