My (22M) gf (22F) has gained a lot of weight and I no longer am attracted to her.

My girlfriend over the past 3 or so years has gained around 30kg in said timespan. This may not sound like a lot but considering she is short it definitely looks like a lot and has all went to her gut and face.

I have always been a pretty fit guy, not really that into eating junk food, preferring more healthy or at least food that isn’t terrible for you, her on the other hand pretty much exclusively eats snack food like chips and other junk, or greasy fried foods.

I’ve attempted to tell her not to eat as much junk and even tried to set her up on a meal plan of foods that she likes but are better for her to help her, but after a little while she just goes back to eating junk.

She is very much aware that I don’t like the way that her body looks currently and says that she’ll try to eat a bit healthier and even work out to elevate it but she never sticks to it.

Her mother, father and grandfather all have diabetes and are severely overweight and I am very worried that if she keeps up like this she will as well.

Whenever we first started dating around 5 years ago she was much thinner and I was very attracted to her, she was a cheerleader.

Now I am no longer attracted to her and don’t see myself being again if she does not lose weight. To make this worse I work at and work out at a gym and see many girls with really nice bodies and it makes me want her to look like them.

Any advice?

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t try to change people. The conditional love, that’s not the basis of any good relationship. If you’ve fallen out of love with her, just call it quits.
   It may hurt her at first, but then she can maybe date someone who loves her for all of who she is at any size. I think she deserves that.
2. Leave her. I’m just being honest. I think you’re too young to work through it. If you love her and want to be with her then work through it. Just know the older you get the less looks matter. Those things fade but you’re so young and that’s so into the future it’s hard to see
3. It may be that the relationship is fading and the spark with it. If she changed this then some other thing about her might become an issue.

I noticed something whenever I went for a massage session at the parlour.

They always play ‘relaxing’ tunes to get their customers to feel relaxed throughout the massage but for me, my ‘kkj’ will always not be relaxed throughout the seesion.

Below is my usual experience at the massage parlour

When I arrived, the receptionist welcomed me warmly and I was invited to enter the massage room. The room was filled with soothing and calming music.

It was like a lullaby that soothed my soul.

I lay down on the massage table and the massage therapist began working on my body. She used gentle strokes and worked her way up and down my body.

As she worked, the music got progressively more soothing and I felt myself slipping into a deep state of relaxation.

However, there was one thing that I couldn’t ignore. As she massaged my body, I felt my ‘kkj’ beginning to swell and become enlarged.

The therapist was always professional and kept the massage going, amidst there were some giggling when she noticed it.

After a few minutes, she stopped and asked if I was okay. I told her what happened and she simply said that it was a normal reaction to the massage and music.

She said that it was a sign that I was relaxed and that I should just enjoy the session.

As the massage continued, I feel my body relax more and more and I eventually stopped worrying about my ‘kkj’.

After a while more when I was asked to flipped over and I could see the masseuse, my ‘kkj’ became harder and the masseuse would often pop the question and ask me what services I would like to have.

I guess this is all their whole ploy to make me feel relax and want the extra services provided.

I just found out that my husband had been taking money from our insurance endowment plans to fund his s- holidays in Bangkok.

Said he was going for a ‘business’ trip

I had suspected something was going on for a while. He had been acting strangely and had been away on more and more “business trips” lately. But I had never expected this.

I was so angry and hurt I could barely think straight. I had trusted him, and he had betrayed me. I had put so much of our savings into those insurance endowment plans, and now he had taken it all away.

I confronted him about it, and he had the nerve to lie to me. He claimed that he was just trying to make a better future for us by taking out money from the insurance endowment plans to invest in a business in Bangkok, but I knew he was lying. I had seen the emails from the travel agency and the hotel in Bangkok.

He tried to apologize, but it was too late. I was done with him. I told him to leave and never come back.

I was so broken and devastated. I had worked so hard to build a life with him, and now it was all gone in an instant. I had invested so much of my time and energy in this relationship, and I felt like it was all for nothing.

I was so angry and hurt that I couldn’t even cry. I just wanted to forget this ever happened.

So I did. I put my head down and went back to work. I threw myself into my job and tried to forget about what had happened.

But the pain was still there. I was constantly reminded of my husband’s betrayal every time I looked at the withdrawal statements from the insurance endowment plans. Every time I saw the money he had taken, I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

It was like a knife twisting in my heart. I felt so betrayed and angry. I had trusted him and he had betrayed me.

The worst part was that he had taken away our future. We had planned to use that money from the insurance endowment plans to fund our retirement and now it was gone. I was so angry and hurt that I couldn’t even think about it.

I had lost everything. I had lost my husband and I had lost our future and my money put into the insurance endowment plans. I felt like my life was over.

I had been friends with Ron (not his real name) for many years and he had been struggling financially for most of his life.

He had worked hard and was finally able to have a steady job and get his first paycheck of $10,000. When he showed me the check, he was beaming with pride and joy, and I was so happy for him.

Because he did not have money before, he splurged and acted like a snob

He wanted to celebrate his newfound wealth, so he decided to take us out to a fancy restaurant. I was excited to see Ron finally get to experience the other side of life, but also a bit worried because I was concerned he might get taken advantage of.

Ron was not used to having money and I was afraid that he might not know how to handle it.

At the restaurant, Ron was so excited to finally have some money to spend. He was buying rounds of drinks for everyone and ordering the most expensive items on the menu.

Everyone was having a great time, but I could see that Ron was getting a bit carried away with the spending. I tried to tell him to be careful, but he was too caught up in the moment.

He even wanted to throw money at some girls we befriended at the restaurant, telling them that they’ll get $50 for every shot that they take and he would settle their bills.

Poor money management led to him having no money after a few weeks

Unfortunately, Ron’s newfound wealth did not last long. Within a few weeks, he had already spent almost all of his money. He had no idea how to budget or save, and he had been taken advantage of by people who saw him as an easy target. He had lost his job and was back to being poor again.

I had tried to tell him to be careful and to save some money, but he had not listened to me. He thought that having money meant he could throw his weight around and that everything would be okay. Instead, he ended up with nothing and was worse off than before.

It was a harsh lesson for Ron. He had learned the hard way that money is not a cure-all for life’s problems and that it must be managed responsibly.

He now has a better understanding of money and how to use it wisely, but the experience was a painful one.

It all began with a simple glance. I was in my polytechnic, doing what I always did—attending classes and struggling through my assignments.

But this one day, something different happened. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed a beautiful girl. She had long, dark hair, a captivating smile, and a kind aura that drew me in.

Didn’t dare to approach her, contented with admiring her from afar

I was instantly smitten. I wanted to approach her, but I was too shy. I told myself that I was too intimidated to speak to her, so I kept my distance. I was content to just admire her from afar, but I was also curious to know if she might be interested in me.

Decided to grow some balls and approached her, to my surprise she was also interested in me

One day, I finally mustered up enough courage to approach her. I was nervous, but I knew I had to do it. I took a deep breath, walked up to her, and introduced myself.

To my surprise, she was also interested in me! She had also been noticing me for a while but did not dare to approach me because you know, girls will always be girls.

We started talking and exchanging contacts. We talked for a while and I could tell she was just as intrigued by me as I was by her.

We would meet up to go to school together and wait for each other to end classes.

We started dating soon after. It was a whirlwind romance—we were so in love and couldn’t get enough of each other. Every time we were together, it felt like time stood still. We’d stay up late talking, go on adventures, and just enjoy each other’s company.

It wasn’t long before we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We got engaged and set a date for our wedding. We said our vows in front of our family and friends, and it was one of the happiest days of our lives.

Now, years later, we have two children, a beautiful home, and a happy life. I’m so grateful for the courage I found to approach her all those years ago.

I’m glad I took that leap of faith and got to know her. I’m thankful for the wonderful life we have together, and I’m looking forward to many more years of happiness.

Note: Image for illustration purposes
Image source: Google Maps

It always seems like my friend never has any money in his bank account when I ask him to return the money that he owes me.

Always shows me his empty bank account when I ask for money back

Whenever I ask him to pay me back, he always shows me his empty bank account and then expects me to feel sorry for him. He always comes up with some new style to expect sympathy from me.

He does this every single time and it’s become a bit of a running joke between us. I think he thinks that if he can make me feel sorry for him, then maybe I won’t ask for the money anymore.

He’s always coming up with excuses as to why he can’t pay me back, like his car broke down and he had to pay for repairs, or he had to pay for a family emergency, or he had to buy something for his girlfriend.

All these things may be true, but I know he has the money to pay me back, he just doesn’t want to.

I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just gets defensive and says that he’ll pay me back when he can. But I know that’s not going to happen.

I’ve tried being patient, but it’s been months and he still hasn’t paid me back. I’ve been tempted to just write it off, but I really need the money and I’m not sure what else to do.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship over this, but I also don’t want him to think it’s okay to keep taking advantage of my kindness.

I want to be understanding, but I also want to make sure he knows that it’s not acceptable to keep asking for money and not pay it back.

I don’t want to be too hard on him, but I also don’t want him to think he can just take advantage of me. So, I’m trying to be understanding, but also firm.

I’ve told him that he needs to pay me back soon or our friendship will be affected. Hopefully this will be enough to get him to take the situation seriously and pay me back soon.

Charged for not attending IPPT RT. Summary trial at CMPB soon. What will happen to me?

‘No time’ for IPPT and RT because life has not been good

As we all know, we went through a tough time during the recent pandemic. As for me, i lost my job and had to settle with doing full time food delivery.

No job is easy. Mine was no different. Had little time to rest or even sleep. Therefore, i did not have time/energy to go for IPPT RT sessions.

his is going to be my 3rd offence. The 1st and 2nd time was because i overlooked due to office work being crazy busy. I truly regret this and have learned my lesson.

Definitely not going to repeat it ever again. Does anyone have any experience being charged for the 3rd time?

What can i expect?

Here are what netizens think

• Lol I got charged 5 times already, each time fine increase 100, but for the last rt, I didn’t attended the last 2 round so no fine. As long you don’t give your Co some f- up excuse, he probably fine you or CMPB charge you a higher fine.
  
• Before your charge date just book and attend some RT sessions. During the charge they’ll look at all the evidence available including the RT sessions you just went for even if it’s the very evening before less than a day ago. The worst thing you can do is just do nothing and “mentally prepare”.
  
• Defaulted thrice in a row. First time was given a warning, second was $100 fine. Third was a $300 fine.
  
• Relax, it’s only your “third” time. High chance that you will let off with a fine. SAF as much as possible, tries to avoid putting what are essentially civilians, to DB nowadays.
  
  And we totally understand your situation, though try your best to do NS fit from this year onwards to avoid this PITA situation.

Image source: Google Maps

This will be a long post, apologies to whoever reading but some advice would be great.

Context

me and my girlfriend are both 25, and we’ve been together for nearly 4 years, at the start (as id imagine with all relationships) the s- was constant, every time we’d see each other and it was great, it was very vanilla but that never bothered me. last year (2022), we very rarely had s- for a number of reasons:

Reasons

• we both live with parents, so we’d never get alone time till around midnight, where i was always tired and preferred the spontaneous s- we had at the start of the relationship
  
• we don’t see each other every day, so when we would see each other the s- for her would be painful and unpleasant due to tightness
  
• it wasn’t my go to thing to do, it might be weird, but id always prefer to hang out together and watch a film/talk rather than have s-, we don’t see each other that often and i valued that more.

I always get blamed for not ‘giving’ it to her

Throughout 2022 i was constantly on the end of blame for the lack of s- and made to feel like it was my fault, perhaps it is but there’s many reasons to why this happened, so i vowed to make things more better and it just didn’t happen, plus whenever we did it always felt as if I was only having s- because of this argument which just didn’t feel natural.

The past few months I’ve been really trying to up my game, explore her s- interests and fantasies and make it more fun again for the better. even though she said she had 0 fantasies I still had the aim to work at it, but she just isn’t interested at all in trying to make things better.

Tells me she has no more s- drive because its pain

She told me that she doesn’t have s- drive anymore because of how much it hurts and because of the lack of during the last year and that she isn’t interested in talking about it.

I really need help as i have 0 clue where to go from here, i thought the best way to make things better were to actually have frequent s- and explore things together, but how do i do that if she just doesn’t want to talk about and open up to me?