I am 25M and just broke up with my 20F. We had been together for ~2 years. When we were together, she was still a student, and as a working adult, I was there to support her (dates were mostly paid for by me).

Now that she had graduated and transitioned to adult life, she found a job in the design industry. Things were difficult as they work on a comms basis and do not have a fixed salary. Dates were mostly paid for by me until recently she started to fork out some of her own share.

During the first week of work, she needed a laptop, so I bought a MacBook for her (initially was mentioned to be paid on an instalment basis but I guess she took it as a graduation gift and I as a supportive BF left it as it is).

She also needed a car to meet clients so she used her family car for work, however whenever she needed money to pump petrol/season parking, she would ask money from me, and I would pay for her. When she decided to lead a healthy and fit lifestyle and wanted to sign up for a gym and asked me to help pay for it, to encourage her, I did.

However, the money I am writing today is not about the money that I have paid for during our time together, but the money she had borrowed for her own needs (e.g., paying off outside debts, and fixing her car, etc).

Recently we had an argument in which I told her that I felt neglected by her since we only met once every few weeks. After that argument, she basically shut off from me and ghosted me for 2 weeks and I had no choice but to initiate the breakup because we were supposed to go on a family trip together (which I had paid for), but things were so dire that I just wanted a clean break. But when I mentioned the money that she owed, she left me on single tick and did not answer my messages at all.

Now I just want my money back. I do not care for the money we had spent together during our time; I just want those that she legitimately borrowed from me.

To be honest, all the money that I have spent on her amounts to much more than this (birthday trips, my dinners, luxury gifts), but I just want those that she had borrowed because it is still not a small amount…

Please help and give any advice, TIA.

A guy from Tinder invited me to a nice cocktail bar. I usually don’t agree to drink alcohol on the first date, but the guy was my type looks wise, and he gave out very cool, chill vibes over text.

The date started off great – he was smooth, fun, lead the conversation and I felt like we had great chemistry. We clicked immediately with our ironic, “f-ed up” sense of humor.

As the evening went on and we had few drinks in us, our conversation became more adult oriented and we started to talk about kinkier stuff (in a fun, playful manner)

At one point we started talking about the guys sizes (he brought it up) and he made a remark along the line of: “You look like a size queen”, I laughingly replied:”What?! No, I do not discriminate haha” and than tried to make a joke: “unless it’s a micro of course, then you’re f-ed hahaha”.

I said it as a dumb, silly joke, and it matched the vibe of our conversation, but I immediately saw his energy shift, it was like I ruined the whole atmosphere.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, he then changed subjects and pretty much started having meaningless, unengaged small talk with me, any of my attempts to steer the conversation back on “the fun train” were ignored.

At that moment I jut felt clueless about wtf had just happened. He also had made silly, insensitive jokes about women’s bodies and other so called taboo subjects. My dumb remark definitely was within the context of the conversation. Plus, I had said more f-ed up jokes before that and he laughed.

Looking back in hindsight, when he made that “size queen” comment, he was definitely fishing for something. There was some tension coming from him in that moment, but I did not pick up on it at the time.

So yeah, after another 30min or so of awkward conversation he said he needs to wake up early tomorrow and it’s time to call it a night. He did not try to kiss me or suggest coming to his place, we just parted ways and I was left mind f-ed. Did not hear from him again.

Obviously I do not really know whether he actually had a micro p-s, but him bringing up the size subject, then getting upset after I made that joke (even though up until that point everything was going great) makes me assume that.

It’s a real shame, I liked the guy and feel bad that I made him feel insecure (assuming my theory is correct). But who knows, maybe he actually did not like me and was looking for a way out to end the night, but that seems highly unlikely.

I (26f) have a brother (30m) “David”. David has been married to “Katey” for 6 years before he cheated on her with “Candice”.

Honestly I loved Katey, even she was rather quiet and introverted, she was always interesting to talk to, helpful and I loved how serious she was about her hobbies. Like she wouldn’t let anything to stop her doing what she loves and she would work hard for it. So once we found out that David has been cheating on her with another woman, we were shocked, since David said he will never do that to her.

David has separated with Katey and started a relationship with Candice. I’m not a big fan of her as she is not nearly as helpful or nice as Katey, always gives unsolicited advise and generally behaves and speaks as if she is more important then everyone else in the room. However David seems to be totally in love with her.

Recently I have told David that I don’t feel comfortable inviting Candice to my and my boyfriend’s house due to her behavior and how their relationship started. David didn’t like that and started an argument with me, during this argument I have mentioned how much better Katey was and that he was a fool for loosing her and David said that his sore throat syndrome made him cheat on Katey and she should of understood and forgiven him, but she didn’t. I have called him dumb for blaming his condition on cheating and said if my boyfriend have told me the same thing as he told Katey, I would of left as well.

Now my brother got offended and have called me “insensitive brat”. The family is split, my parents believe I should apologise to him, while some of my siblings said I did the right thing.

Here are what netizens think:

• Exactly how he is claiming his sore throat made him cheat? Like what is the justification? Signed, another person that is full of S.

• That’s straight bull. He’s either supremely dumb or lying 

• Well then he is fully and thoroughly enabled to get out of jail free anytime . Just imagine, he has realized that he can never do anything wrong because he always has the best excuse. And this isn’t gonna help him build a good life and it’s not gonna help him really appreciate anyone else.

A netizen shared a story about how a fortune teller told him that he would “tio 4D” but the only “D” that he “tio” was an “STD”.

Here is the story:

“I saw a fortune teller who charged me $10 to tell my fortunes.

I have always been a believer in these kind of things and i thought to myself, since its only $10, it can’t be a scam right?

I can’t remember what he said but he mentioned that I was very “wang”, which means lucky in chinese.

He added that I would have an unexpected windfall coming my way very soon, and he advised me to do more good deeds.

Well now that he told me, it’s not longer unexpected is it?

I had my hopes up and every Wednesdays and the weekends, I would religiously buy more than $50 worth of 4D.

It has been over 3 months since that meeting with the fortune teller, and the only money that I won was a iBet consolation prize, i won $30 from a $10 bet.

And maybe the fortune teller got it wrong when he said I would “tio” something because last month i went for a health checkup and found out that I had herpes, an STD.

Tio 4D don’t have la, the only thing that I tio is STD la knn.

My life is ruined.”

Editor’s note: Although there isn’t any cure for herpes, there are anti viral medications that can help prevent outbreaks bro. This one really suay sia lol

images source: singaporepools.com.sg

I was on a first date with a guy after being arranged by a friend, and it was the worst date I’ve ever been on in my life.

He told me that he was from a “top JC” and went on to boast how his father has a PhD and they are living in a Good Class Bungalow.

He said that he want to save $1m by the age of 30 and that he is currently working in a bank.

I asked him what is a Good Class Bungalow and he said “you don’t know meh?” that oh it’s a “high SES” thing, not many people know.

He was also damn rude to the servers where we were having our meal, getting his attention by shouting “HELLO?!” without saying please or thank you or anything.

He asked me what my parents worked as and I said my mother was a housewife and my dad was a taxi driver.

He then asked me if I was studying my degree to get out of poverty (I’m pursuing my degree at the moment), and I said no, we are not poor. My mother works part time and I can take care of myself.

He then went on to say how can that be? taxi driver don’t earn much money.

I told him not to stereotype other people without knowing anything.

After the meal (I paid for my own share), he asked if he could send me home in his Lamborghini, to which I rejected him and said I’ll just take the MRT.

He then said “you probably have never sat inside a Lamborghini before cause you’re poor”, to which i got angry and told him that his car clearly belongs to his father.

“Why, you got no money to buy your own car is it. You think your father’s car gonna impress me?”

He then went on to say that he could probably hire my father to be his personal driver, and then he called me a “gold digging b—-“.

I just walked away from that ahole, trying my hardest not to slap him in the face.

I don’t think I will be dating again, for a long while.

Editor’s note:

HDB walls are thin so all the good juicy stuff that is happening are audible to the neighbors. Do married couples in HDBs actually enjoy less privacy compared to those with my privacy in condos/landed properties?

fyi : am referring to older flats especially those 3 room types…looking out the toilet window would allow you to see their toilet 2-3m away. And your room is built squarely next to their room.

Netizens’ comments

1. Wah lao you need to piak until how loud sia.
2. Usually we compete among the neighbors
3. I don’t think this is an issue. Maybe it’s only me, but I don’t really care what my neighbours can hear, it’s not like having roommates where it can genuinely be awkward.
4. Condos don’t necessarily have good sound isolation either! I’m renting a HDB now but was previously in a condo. No real difference. Could hear the neighbours’ kids running around, playing piano and generally squealing at each other even back then.
   also, I used to be able to look into my neighbour’s kitchen and even see part of their living room and see the uncle roaming around without anything on. These privacy issues are common in apartments in general IMO. Just make do as best as you can.
5. I want them all to hear leh.
6. Just put pillow between bedstand and wall, you should be fine.
7. Many condos are equally sized as HDBs, the difference is the facilities. You want to piak in the swimming pool?
8. I have never heard any piak piak sounds and I’ve lived in old rental flats. But I’ve heard alot of arguments and parents scolding kids, soo i guess if you’re not piaking until argument level of noise it’s fine.
9. Pros and cons.
   Pros is you get to hear the good juicy stuff.
   Cons is they get to hear your good juicy stuff.
10. I’ve never really heard my neighbors, except when they talked loudly in the shower…

i (18F) am planning to go to uni overseas after poly while my 18M bf will be serving NS around the same time.

i told him about my plans of going overseas and it made him very (understandably) worried, that i’m gonna cheat on him, talk to other guys, party etc

i feel really bad because i feel like i haven’t done well enough as a gf to reassure him that i’m not gonna cheat. i know i’m not going to cheat because i really do love my bf a lot and i see us getting married so logically i wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise our rs.

as for talking to other guys, that’s inevitable but i definitely wouldn’t carry on the convo if not needed (he’s aware i’m that kind of person).

i’m also not a party/club/drinking person and he knows. so i don’t know how else to assure him

he’s also rly worried about LDR, which ofc i understand it’s gonna be tough considering the time diff + him being in NS but to me if we are THAT srs about each other and truly love each other, we’d get thru anything and one would be willing to wait/do smt for the other.

i was quite set on going to uni and was really planning to work my ass off for it, but now i’m having second thoughts because it feels selfish. in a way i’m just kinda doing wtv i want while he’s in mandatory NS stuck with the thoughts and worries of me cheating.

anyone been in the same situation? please advise and share ur experiences

Netizens’ comments

1. My teacher told me a simple analogy years ago.
   Keeping a bird in a cage and if you let it go, it will be gone forever. But you allow freedom and instill trust with the pet bird, the bird can roam freely outside it’s cage but yet come back to you again.
   If there’s any doubt of trust, let it be that way. Pursure your dream and be the better form of yourself. Do not allow others to take away your goals.
2. Dear, you are 18. The world is your playground. You can afford to study overseas, go for it. No brainer. It is not selfish to get an education and life experience and see that the world is bigger than what we think. Feelings come and go. Are you absolutely sure that if you stay, your bf will not cheat or break up with you? People change. Maybe you both are really young, but if your bf loves you, he’d want the best for you and continue to level up so he can be the best version of himself, too when you both are done with the process, him in NS, and you uni.
3. Don’t let your relationship get in the way of your career or academic advancement.
   If someone wants to cheat, he/she can do it anywhere/anytime. You don’t need to be in a LDR to cheat.
   This is a good opportunity to put your relationship to the test. If it works out, you 2 can overcome other bigger challenges in life. If it doesn’t, then the 2 of you are just not meant to be.
   Just go.

Struggle talking to girls

24 year old guy who consistently finds it challenging to approach girls I’m interested in. I’m an introvert and tend not to socialize with anyone especially in my work office & church.

On the flip side, when I’m with my friends, I’ve been told I can be the life of the party, and some people have rated me as a 7/10 or 8/10 in terms of looks & body shape (not caifan auntie).

However, I’ve had an ongoing issue since secondary school where I struggle to communicate with girls I’m attracted to.

Currently, I’m interested in one of my colleagues at work (i am in a contract position and have plans to leave) who i really like a lot.

She often starts conversations by saying hi and asking questions, but my responses are usually limited to one-word replies and unrelated comments, which tends to kill the conversation and make me nervous. I WFH most of the time so our last convo was like a month+ ago.

This has been a persistent problem for nearly a decade, and I’m worried it might negatively impact my love life. I’m a date to marry person where I have numerous ideas about how to cherish and treat my future girlfriend.

However, I struggle with taking the initial step to express my interest as my anxiety skyrockets & blushed when I’m around a girl I particularly like which would make the girl think i am disinterested lol.

Wondering what steps i can take to remove this mental block? 🙁

Netizens’ comments

1. What you need is a conversation starter, a kick and an exit plan.
   Find some reason to do something out of the blue for her and from there you can gauge her response. Whether she reciprocate or not, and if all else fail you have an exit plan that doesn’t make the situation anymore awkward.
   To illustrate: The starter: Buy a cup of bubble tea for her. The kick: she help you in a previous scenario. Exit plan: it’s just a cup of bubble tea. It’s no big deal.
   Rinse and repeat. With a post-it-note. A lunch meal. A dinner. A movie etc
2. When making small talk, I read somewhere to use OCAP,
   Observation – Notice something about the person. Hair style change? Sent out a certain email? Saw their work?
   Comment – Make a comment about your observation. Can be a compliment. Can be a question.
   Assumption – Make a small assumption about your observation.
   Projection – Based on your assumption, suggest something, ask something. Make sure it’s open ended.
   Actual example I use: Met Colleague at pantry, she wore sneakers instead of heels.
   Me: Hey. Nice shoes. Very white sia. (Observe)
   Her: Oh, ya. Thanks.
   Me: How’d you keep them so white? My white sneakers less than 1 week brown liao. (Comment)
   Her: Oh no la. I seldom wear. That’s why can maintain haha
   Me: Nice. You wear them today, going somewhere later after work? (Assume)
   Her: Oh ya. I trying out this Pilates class my friend intro me. At Bugis area. You try Pilates before?
   Me: Nope. What’s it about. Is it something like yoga or what, stretch stretch type. I did yoga a few times , quite shaggg. Pose here, pose there. What makes you like Pilates? (Projection)
   Her: ya ya. Something like Yoga. That’s why I don’t mind going. Actually difference between Yoga and Pilates [she goes on and on about her hobbies]
   Me : (nods along and continue prompting her for her to talk more)
   Me (when times up): Wa sounds interesting. When got chance I don’t mind try. Anyways have fun later! Let me know how it goes.
   Of course the next time you see her, you ask about how was it. Then ask why she like. Why she don’t like etc. Don’t have to follow exact OCAP. Trick is to ask open ended questions, and let them talk about 70% of the time. So you don’t have to talk much.

So my wife and I have been each other’s only partners, so our experiences in the bedroom is only limited to each other.

We’ve also only started to get intimate in the last 2 years, and I can recall that recently she feels a bit different down there than earlier.

These days, it feels like there’s something inside her V that is grabbing my D, like the muscles feel tighter, compared to earlier when it was just putting it in a relaxed muscle bag, that’s the best way that i can explain it.

It’s like when you flex your biceps or other muscles and it becomes tighter.

It feels really amazing, like I can feel the texture much better, and we both are able to feel more pleasure out of this, but I am just wondering why it is happening now after a couple of years of us doing it, and what’s the science behind it.

I can also recall this happening once very long ago when we initially started to get physical.

I am wondering if this is some new angle that we’ve discovered just now (it happens during missionary, not in other positions, for now at least), or if some muscle inside is actually getting tighter.

Netizens’ comments

1. Has she increased her exercise regime/Kegels?
   Could be her muscles have tightened due to exercise or she is less relaxed/turned on than before, thus feeling tighter. Are you guys doing less foreplay these days? Is she less turned on?
2. There are these things called Kegel exercises that would strengthen the muscles down there.
3. Your wife is mutating, there is an alien inside. Call the X-Men for help. This is attack of the worlds all over again.
4. As a woman you can definitely tighten your genitals on purpose, maybe she’s doing that without realizing

My kid broke our expensive tv and I want to cry of anger

I loved that tv. It cost a lot. It was a great tv. I had just been playing some games on it. I hadn’t even turned of my ps4. I had just put it on sleeping mode so I could put the kids to bed.

She got hold of a heavy toy. Smashed it on the tv. The screen is now broken. I am so angry. I want to scream but I can’t. She is just 2 years old. Doesn’t know better. I feel so sad.

I know it’s silly for other people. It’s just a tv. But that tv was comfort for me. I have no friends. I have no hobbies aside from the gym but with how the fitness world works today the gym mostly feels like a mental torment and a constant reminder that I don’t look good enough and reminder that if I enjoy food too much I will just gain weight so I don’t enjoy it that much. I do it because I have to.

That tv was my peace of mind when the kids finally went to bed. It was my friend in the evening when I didn’t have anyone to talk to. It meant something to me.

And now it’s gone and we don’t have the money to get a new one. I hate this so much but I can’t get angry. I can just feel sad.

Netizens’ comments

1. Hey, check with your those 2nd hand donation groups on Facebook. You can post that you’re looking for a tv, and someone might have one for you
2. Do cry of anger. Scream into a pillow. Stomp with your feet. It’s OKAY to feel the way you’re feeling right now.
   You did a great job not projecting this anger onto your kid! Now allow yourself to feel it all. Do not suppress it. You lost something you loved. It’s okay to grief!
   Be super kind and gentle with yourself while you’re going through this. Be patient and compassionate. You will get through this and you will find a solution.
   For now take care of your feelings, once your mind is calmer you will find a way.
   Sending much love your way!