I’ve been with my boyfriend about three years (living together about a year). Prior to him I had a five year relationship with an older guy, that ended about a year before my current relationship.

My boyfriend brought up maybe 6 months ago how I’d feel about calling him ‘Daddy’ in bed. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that and didn’t want to. He let it go. A few days ago we ran into my ex. He acted really nice, introduced himself to my boyfriend, then made a comment about how he’d have expected my boyfriend to be older, looks a little young to replace him as ‘Daddy’ and laughed.

My boyfriend didn’t really say anything to it, and I quickly said goodbye and rushed us out the door. The car ride was quiet, but when we got home he stormed to our bedroom and slammed the door.

Went in trying to talk to him but he refused. Just spread his entire body across the bed so I couldn’t get on it as well. It was late, so I went to sleep on the couch for the night. The next day he left for work before I woke up, then came back late. So I tried to talk to him again. He says he’s hurt and upset that I lied to him about feeling uncomfortable with calling someone that, and that he realizes now I just don’t want to call him that.

And I don’t think I explained it well to him. That I am uncomfortable with it. My relationship with my ex was a trainwreck of bad decisions for years. I met him when I was 19 and he was 36, he became pretty controlling pretty quick but I didn’t really notice. I thought I loved him. He asked me to call him that, and I was an infatuated idiot. He was older, mature, had his life together, took care of me, and supported my university and career goals. So I just did it and felt ok with it at the time. Near the end of our relationship, I was realizing he was more controlling than I was happy with and he wasn’t treating me like an equal partner like I wanted. It went from he’s protective and helpful, to he’s restrictive and authoritative. So I broke things off, he didn’t take it well, but he never caused me any trouble. Breakup was clean, nothing crazy.

When my boyfriend suggested calling him that… it just gave me a bad feeling. Made me think of my ex. How controlling he got of me. How he wouldn’t treat me as an equal. And the idea of calling someone that is just very uncomfortable to me now, I didn’t lie. I tried to explain that to him but he kept insisting it was something about him. Saying apparently he’s not old enough, attractive enough, successful enough, and I don’t love him enough. And accused me of still loving my ex, and that if what I said is true I’d have told him when he asked. Which to me if my boyfriend asks that, and I turned around and go “no I don’t want to call you Daddy because it makes me think of my ex,” sounds like a recipe for disaster. Just saying I was uncomfortable, I thought was the best answer because I am.

He’s now barely spoken to me since that argument. He’s been locking the door to the bedroom at night, and has said he needs time to think, so I’ve just been sleeping on the couch and staying out of his way. I’m not really sure what to do. How to better explain this to him, or how to make it better? I’m really at a loss. I know he’s always been pretty insecure, but I’ve always told him I love him, find him attractive, and want to be with him. I’ve reminded him of that since this happened, and he just calls me a liar and walks away. He’s made a few passing comments as he walks past me about being surprised I’m home and not out with some middle-aged man or hitting my ex up. Which has really hurt. I feel like that entire relationship was a big dumb mistake, and I can admit that. But I’ve never cheated on my boyfriend, gave him any reason to think I’d cheat or didn’t want him until this situation that I guess now he feels that way.

Job search is too painful these days

I have been searching for procurement/supply chain job for almost 2 years. I tried applying in construction/engineering/ manufacturing /NGO & in education sector. I have attended a few interviews where they will tell me they will get back to me but won’t get back. Some Low balled me and die to my current financial situation I will be agreeing to what they are offering but yet they won’t select me.

I have people who were with me when I had a stable job but when I lost my job, most of them didn’t keep in touch with me and they cut ties with me. I have a few genuine friends who always motivate me saying I will find a job soon.

I had a girl who wants to date me but when I explained that I’m unemployed she cut contact with me.

I was not bothered because I always look in a positive perspective.

I know people will only be with you when they need something from you.

I really need a job as my personal savings have been used up. I know I will get a job in a matter of time but it’s just that some hurtful words and mockery from people affects me deeply  ..

I’m planning to take up temp role while I get a full time job but my friend told me that if I take up temp job the hiring manager and HR in the future company will scruntize me based on that and will not select me.

How can I find jobs better? Actionable feedback like job portals will help a lot.

Netizens’ comments

I don’t understand the part you really need a job as your personal saving had used up. Then why are you choosy in the first place? To stick to the point to find your own job that you want , and not rather get a job to survive? There are many jobs available, and is you whether want to take it or not. Whether the company low ball you or not, so? The fact is you have zero income, and without a job how you gonna survive? Come on! Be more realistic, be grateful if they want to employ you. In africa, many older kids searching job daily, and they work just to get food for their family.

What should I do with my boyfriend who is obsessed with his dogs?

My boyfriend owns 3 dogs and we have been dating for close to a year. I was initially very drawn to his kind and caring nature and his love for animals.

When we first got tgt, the dogs brought fun and laughter into the rs and it was all nice and fun to play with them.

As time progresses, idk is it bc the honeymoon period has faded but it seems his dogs have taken a priority more than me.

A few times, he cancelled dates at the last minute as the dogs needed his attention. When we spend time tgt at his place, I was expected to help him to clean, feed and walk the dogs etc.

Even when we are out, he’ll ask his family to take live videos of his dogs every now and then to see if they are ok.

At times, he replied my msgs very late as he claimed he has to spend time with them. He has said that he will not give up on his dogs even if he were to settle down and have a family and he spends more than 1/2 of his take home pay on them.

I’m not a pet owner myself so I don’t understand if such behavior is common. I’m not really happy but I’m unsure how to approach this. I dw to force him to choose between me and his dogs.

Netizens’ comments

• if you love him, you should love his pets as well… having pets are like having babies/kids. They’re a priority as they’re considered his family. If you leave him, his dogs won’t… until death do they part. When you have a pet you will understand.

• He got his dogs way before he knew you, so for now, you will not be prioritize above his dogs. Besides, what he is doing is just a habit to him, you simply found that out later in the r/s.
  What you really need to do is ask yourself this:- If this is who he is and there is no way you can change him, are you willing to spend your life with him?If your answer is yes, then you will have to tolerate his obession for his dogs, because that is who he is and that is the man you fell for.
  As for you, you should learn to understand why your guy love his dogs so much and also learn to love what he love. That’s the best way to approach this r/s.Your guy is a good guy. At least, his obsession to dogs shows me he is a responsible person.

Today I proposed to my girlfriend. We have been together for over 5 years and her parents have been pressuring us to get married (yeah, yeah, some parents are like that). I am not into marriage at all, but I love my girlfriend and if it is important for her, it is important for me too. I was nervous about the whole thing to be honest, do I want to get married? Am I doing it for the right reasons? Don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriend more than anything, but marriage is a big step in someone’s life.

I bought her a ring, and I decided I would wait until her birthday to pop the question. I wanted that moment to be strictly her and I, it was our moment, our next step in our relationship. Man I was shaking so much when I put a knee on the floor and asked her. She laughed at me and said ”what are you even doing dude?”. She said no, but not because she doesn’t love me, far from that.

She said no because she knew all along marriage was not something I was comfortable in. She said she did not need a ring on her finger to know she loves me and want to spend the rest of her life with me. She said that the only thing that mattered was her and me, not what our families think.

We’ve returned the ring and we used the money to spoil ourselves, like the perfect immature adults we are.

Man is it even possible to love someone so much?

I prove my love to my girlfriend every single day, and she’s a very tough cookie, if she was unhappy, she would be long gone. She is not the type to ”stay in a unhealthy relationship because she loves him”. No, fuck that (forgive my language) she’d dump my ass real fast and make fun of me with her girlfriends. Never cheated on her, never disrespected her, always tell her how beautiful she is, how perfect she is, every single day. The belief that men who think like me are not committed and are going to jump the fence at some point is very outdated.

Women are not inherently into marriage and men are not inherently against it. There are other ways to show your love and appreciation for a person than getting married. For the few rotten apples in the back, yes her birthday is today, yes she is working today, I proposed this morning, she works from 4pm to 10pm, more than enough time to return a ring and spoil ourselves/spend quality time together. This is something that never changed on Reddit I see, there’s always some Negative Nancy who just. can’t. be. happy. for. other. people.

A girl shared how she was dating her then-boyfriend and sacrificed a lot for him, only for him to dump her because his friends influenced him to.

Here is the story:

“I went into a relationship with this guy last year and he was my first ever boyfriend. I put all my heart and effort in it, giving him all of my free time even though I was busy with uni because I didn’t have any financial power to buy gifts for him.

During the year, I even pushed away most of my friends and befriended his friends instead and I think I got along pretty well with all of them because we would play games together.

It’s been a year and recently I found out that his friends disagreed with our relationship and eventually influenced him to break up with me.

I feel so sad and betrayed because I still had so much feelings for him and I never did anything wrong (betrayal etc) in the relationship.

It’s simply because he started losing feelings for me and the shit talk from his friends. I don’t get why his friends would do that since both of us are their friends too.

Now he still wants to stay in contact with me as friends but I don’t know if I can do it. I gave myself time after the breakup but I still feel very hurt when I think about hanging out with them again.

He said his friends disapprove with the relationship but are still okay to play with me as a friend.

What should I do now?”

Editor’s note: Block him and forget about him, he’s not worth it.

A woman recently shared on Facebook how her past plastic surgery has ruined her family life. It all started when she underwent plastic surgery in Korea before she met her current husband. Things went from bad to worse after the birth of her child as the child did not resemble her husband at all.

Here is her full story.

I’m in a lot of pain right now. Not because of what I did to my face several years ago, but because my husband is questioning if our daughter is really his. He thinks she does not look like both of us. But how can I tell him that Sarah (using another name to protect my daughter) actually looks a lot like me before my makeover?

Blame it on my beauty obsession. When I was 23, I went to Korea for a series of procedures. I was really happy with the rhinoplasty, but not so much with the facelift and eyebag removal. But overall, I was happy with a better me, and it increased my self confidence. If not because I had wiped out my savings and my parents had threatened to disown me, I would’ve gone for bust enhancement too. I had wanted to go from a B-cup to a C.

I met Tim (again another name) at a friend’s party in Sentosa. He had just returned from the States, doing chemicals research.

We hit it off almost straight away. Despite the nerdy nature of his job, he was quite a biker, and I always remember our rides around Singapore in the silence of the night, esp on weekends. It was a whirlwind romance, and I did not hesitate when he proposed 1 year later, at Changi beach park as we were gazing at the stars. I did not tell him about my makeover. Why was it impt? He had fallen in love with the new me, and that’s all it mattered. Many of my friends also had secrets or history which they hid from their other halves.

We registered our marriage in Singapore, and flew to the States for a simple banquet with his dad, step mom, sister and several close friends. Over here, my parents organized a small reception for close relatives, as they were too scared that people will notice my new looks. I could tell at the reception that my grandmum and some other female relatives were shocked/puzzled to see the new me, but chose to respect the occasion and did not ask anything. In private, I was sure they would ask my parents this and that. It did not matter to me. I had found the new me, and through it, had found the love of my life. An exciting new chapter of my life was beginning.

We settled down in Singapore and rented an apartment. In terms of having a baby, we let nature take its course, but were still surprised when I got pregnant. Sarah was born in Nov 2016, just 2 days before my birthday. As my relationship with my parents has been strained ever since my makeover, I quit my job to care for Sarah full time. It helped that Tim’s step mom flew down for a period to help with Sarah (thanksie step mom! How many step moms would actually do that?).

We finally got our own apartment and slowly, I settled in to my role as a full time mother. Tim is a believer in home schooling, and we agreed that we would only send Sarah to preschool when she’s 4 or 5 years old.

Things were chiming along pretty well. We would head to the States every 6 months or so to visit Tim’s family and for vacation. Sarah was growing up into an adorable sweetie pixie, who likes to pull at my hair (luckily not my nose!). My scars had healed pretty well, but I take care to avoid knocks or any form of trauma to my face. As Sarah grew up, I realize she started to look like the old me, esp the roundish facial contours and slightly V-chin. And for the first time, I felt a pang of guilt for having the makeover. Guilt that while heaven had blessed Sarah with such a beautiful face, she could not look like her mother. And for the first time, I started to understand why my parents had objected so strongly to my makeover. I don’t think Tim notice anything amiss. He was still the doting, hardworking dad and husband.

That was, until Sarah’s 3rd birthday last year. We had brought her out to pororo park to celebrate. That night, after we had put her to bed, and I was doing my manicure, he suddenly looked up from his laptop and said: “You know, I think that she doesn’t look like you or me at all.” I was so taken aback that I dropped my brush. I guessed my reaction only made things worse. Tim has always been an emotional person, but he’s not the expressive type and generally manages his feelings well. However, at that instant, I thought I could see some doubt or hurt in his eyes. He had caught me off guard, and my head was in a spin, trying to second guess his reason for saying this and figure out a reply at the same time. “love, lotsa kids don’t look like their mums and dads” was all I could say.

But the semi-desperation of my voice and the unconvinced and hurt look on his face told me this was not going to go away easily. “are you hiding anything from me?” was all he said next. “Why are you asking this out of nowhere?”, at the risk of waking Sarah up, I tried to sound angry, to hide my panic. Equally, I was hurt that he didn’t trust me. But I didn’t really blame him. Turned out some of his friends and colleagues had commented that Sarah did not resemble either of us, and some geneticist friend of his in the States had told him that paternal genes are stronger than maternal genes, and first-born daughters usually look like the father more. Sarah does not look like either him or me, and this caused doubts in him on whether he was really her father. That night, for the first time in our marriage, we slept in separate rooms. And tried as I could to hide it, I’m not sure whether he heard my sobs.

Things are not the same now. He started to drown himself in work to avoid me and Sarah, even going back to the office on weekends. I have to think of all sorts of reasons to explain to Sarah why daddy cannot join our weekend outings for the time being. It hurts me so much to see him like this, and even more so that Sarah has become collateral damage. To prove that Sarah is his flesh and blood, I suggested a DNA test, but he has so far refused. I know what he’s thinking. He’s feeling conflicted and guilty that on one hand while he has damaged the trust between us, on the other hand he wants to repair that trust, and did not want to damage it further by doing a DNA test which will show that he could not trust me w/o it.

I know what a lot of you must be thinking. Why don’t I just confess to him about my makeover? What will he think of me if I tell him now? Can he accept that the new me is actually not the real me, and that I’ve been hiding this from him all these yrs? This will be as big a blow to him as if Sarah is really not his daughter, I’m sure. Right now I’m torn, and I really don’t know what to do. There’s no one to tell, and Sarah is my only comfort now. Seeing her now and how she looks like the old me, my guilt has only gotten worse. I thought I had started the perfect next chapter of my life, but my past has caught up with me. I often find myself thinking, if I had not gone for the makeover, would I still have gotten together with Tim? Is it worth it now?

I was scrolling through my husband’s phone the other day when I noticed something strange. He had made a purchase of FIFA coins and I was puzzled. I had no idea what FIFA coins were or why he would spend money on them. So, I decided to do some research and find out what he was up to.

Turns out, FIFA coins are virtual currency used in the popular EA Sports video game, FIFA. Players can use FIFA coins to purchase virtual items, such as players, packs, and other in-game content. It is a way to get ahead in the game without having to spend real money.

At first, I thought it was a bit silly that my husband was wasting money on FIFA coins. But then I started to think about the implications of his purchase. He was spending a good amount of money on something that had absolutely no tangible value. It was just a game.

So, I confronted him about it and asked him why he was buying FIFA coins. He told me he was trying to make his team better so he could have more fun when playing the game with friends. He also said that he thought it was a good way to invest his money and that he had done some research about the game before he made the purchase.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I asked him how much money he had spent on these coins and he told me it was around $100. I was shocked. I told him that was a lot of money to be spending on something that had no real value and that he was being a moron for doing so.

He was obviously upset by my reaction and tried to explain himself. He said that it was his money and he could do what he wanted with it. I told him that he was wrong and that he should be investing his money in something that has real value, not something that is essentially worthless.

He just shrugged and said that he was having fun and that’s all that mattered. I didn’t understand how he could be having fun when he was wasting his money on something that had no real value. I told him that if he wanted to have fun he should be spending his money on something that would last, like a concert or a vacation.

I could see that my husband was not going to be swayed by my arguments, so I decided to let it go. I still don’t understand why he would spend so much money on something that has no real value, but I guess it’s his decision to make. All I can do is hope that he will eventually see the error of his ways and invest his money in something more useful.

It’s no wonder we have a globally declining birth rate …

Majority of the population (including myself) can barely even afford a 1 bedroom apartment in this current economy. Having kids on top of that would be nothing short of a literal death sentence.

Both cost of living & house prices have risen EXPONENTIALLY over the last couple of years but wages have remained stagnant.

It’s gotten to the point that I’ve learned to just accept the fact that I will most likely never be able to buy a house of my own or even have kids.

It’s just sad getting up to go to work every morning knowing that your future is bleak, no matter how hard you work.

Netizens’ comments

1. That’s the funniest part of searching for a job right now – companies want young and dumb to burn through. They don’t realize the next generation is tiny compared to millennials (because so many of us couldn’t afford to have kids).
2. Combine with the fact that fertility issues have been increasing and the cost of fertility treatment, even if you are able to have a house with space, it’s still difficult. And once you have said baby, cost of day care is as much as some people’s mortgages.
3. Same, I can’t have kids because I am just a middle class person that knows my future is bleak. It’s hard to keep up.
4. Used to be, more kids was financially beneficial, nowadays it’s the opposite. The result is inevitable.
5. Money needs to circulate, not be hoarded. These dirty ba-rds are quite literally killing everyone else with greed.
6. having a child regardless of my circumstances is a literal death sentence to me.
7. Im so busy working 60-84hrs a week I got no time or energy to make babies.
8. It’s not just a couple of years, it’s more like a decade for stagnant salaries. I’ve only been working for my present company for three years and hard balled a crappy raise the last two, but there are people who have been there for 8 and never had a raise.