The other night, my wife met up for drinks with both a current and ex colleague , who are somewhat close guy friends (call them Andrew and Matthew). I didn’t think much of it as this was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, she even invited to come by towards the end, but I’ve been busy with work etc. so I declined.

Time goes by and I realize it’s been a few hours… OK, she’s catching up with an old coworker, whatever. Finally she calls and tells me she’s coming home. She comes across as a bit loopy and I eventually suggest maybe she’s a bit drunker than she’s letting on.

she comes in and she’s being pretty unreasonable and rude; I try to make it better but to no avail. Eventually, we’re just lying in bed and she’s clearly texting nonstop (to who, I have no idea, yet). She falls asleep and I get to thinking… why is she so, well, bitchy, to me, and apparently the rest of the world is so interesting? She likes her social media, but it was abnormal to see her fingers fly all over the place versus scrolling and occasionally liking/responding/sharing/whatever.

To preface this, we’ve both agreed that we can both look at each other’s phones whenever. We know each other’s passwords and have each other’s fingerprints stored in the other’s phone. Overall her behaviour that night was pretty odd: staying out later than normal, trying to hide her inebriation, being rude when she gets home, and messaging so much. So now my curiosity is piqued, and I grab her phone. You can probably guess that I don’t like what I find. Two chains of texts in particular:

1) Some guy from an even older job talking about how he wished he had a blacklight when he “jizzed on her back”. The conversation seemed to be full of inside jokes and memes, of which I couldn’t quite follow, but mentioned orgasms and such.

Her old-but-more-recent coworker Andrew, about Matt. She deleted it before I/we could look later, but I know for sure I saw the following. Somewhat paraphrasing but this is definitely close:

a) “I would do nasty things to that man if it weren’t for boundaries”

b) “I shouldn’t have a crush like this, I’m a woman who’s almost 30”

c) “Please don’t tell him I love him”

d) “I hope I looked cute enough for him tonight”

The argument got crazy and she finally admit she has been sleeping around with multiple guys for many years. I recorded the conversation secretly. I don’t wanna get any diseases.

Can anyone advise the prices of divorce in Singapore, I already managed to restores the messages and I have collected enough evidence.

My head is all over the place right now so I apologise in advance if this doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I was engaged 6 years ago. We were living together but one day I went home to find all of his belongings gone and a note saying he was sorry and that he loved me so he was setting me free. I tried contacting him but he had blocked me on everything, I tried contacting his family and friends but everybody refused to tell me where he was or if they had even been in touch with him to make sure he was okay. It was the worst time of my life and it took me 2 years to feel like a semi-functional human being again.

Yesterday my dad told me we would have a guest for dinner so I should dress up nicely (I live with them now and have for the past 6 years). This isn’t unusual since my dad sometimes invites his associates/clients for dinner.

The guest was my ex. I was completely blindsided because I never expected to see him again and my dad absolutely hated him back when we were engaged (enough to disown me unless I broke up with him) so it made no sense that he would be inviting him for dinner. The longer he was there, the more it started making sense. My ex has changed a lot, now he’s the type of person my dad would respect and it was obvious my dad liked the new him a lot.

I tried really hard not to cause a scene but half-way through dinner I just lost it. I was crying a lot and demanding to know why he was here. My dad suggested the two of us talk privately so we went into another room.

The conversation we had was long but the short version is he left because he felt guilty for making me choose between him or my family and he could see I was unhappy that they had cut me off. He wants a second chance now that he’s back because he thinks things will be different now.

I don’t know what to do. Part of me has never stopped loving him but a huge part of me is scared to get hurt again. He is also so different now and I don’t know if things would be the same between us. I also know my dad was a big reason he left me in the first place, which I always suspected but it hurts having it confirmed.

Any advice?

I’m 31 been going on dates with a 32 y.o woman for a little over a month. We matched about two and a half months via online dating. I’m confused because I really like her, but it seems like she’s not fully comfortable with me and projects very reserved, somewhat standoffish body language when we’re together. We’ve kissed several times (haven’t made out or had the “special time” yet) and after Date 5 she reached for my hand and we walked together back to our cars. That’s as far as we’ve been physical.

Date 1: Coffee. Date 2: Dinner. Date 3: Came to my house to cook dinner together and watch a movie, but left after an hour due to “feeling sick.” Date 4: Lunch. Date 5: Dinner. Date 6: Her place to eat takeout and watch a movie.

During date 6 we sat on the couch together and shared a blanket, but her body language came off as distant and cold — like she wasn’t trying to get to close to me, but still sat close by me on the couch. I didn’t make a move as I’m not sure if she’s still uncomfortable or whatnot.

I’ve initiated all of the dates and we have an awesome time in person, I’m just wondering why she seems so reluctant towards me. I know she likes me, as she deleted her dating account to only focus on me. Is this just an instance where she’s very inexperienced and/or simply nervous around me or what? I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

Here are what netizens think:

I’m a very awkward person and I give off a ‘don’t touch me vibe’ even when I don’t mean to. I come across as very stand-offish and it has more to do with unresolved childhood issues than it does inexperience or not liking a person.

There could be lots of reasons as to why she’s coming across this way with you. The best thing you can do is talk to her about it. It may just take her a while to warm up or she may just have a low interest in physical touch. You’ll never know till you ask

Hi I’m the same way, and this is the biggest problem in my dating life… 😕 I feel like I’m constantly “acting” just to try to show the interest I’m actually feeling.

I am a 35-year-old man working as a sales executive in a multinational company. I have a wife and two young children. We live in a three-room flat in Bukit Batok, West Region, Singapore. We have been saving up for years to buy our own HDB flat, but the prices are so high that we can barely afford a two-room flat in a remote location. I feel stressed that I will have to work until I die to buy a decent home for my family.

I love my family and I want to provide them with a comfortable and secure living environment. I want them to have a place they can call their own, where they can grow and thrive. I want them to have access to good schools, healthcare, and amenities. I want them to have a sense of belonging and community. I want them to have a better life than I had.

But buying a HDB flat in Singapore is not easy. According to the Housing and Development Board (HDB), the average price of a resale four-room flat in Bukit Batok was S$425,000 in the third quarter of 2023. That means I would need to pay a downpayment of S$85,000 and a monthly mortgage of S$1,600 for 25 years. That is more than half of my monthly income of S$3,000. And that does not include other expenses such as utilities, food, transport, education, and medical bills.

I have applied for an HDB Flat Eligibility (HFE) letter to check my eligibility for flat purchase, CPF housing grants and an HDB housing loan. But I am not optimistic that I will qualify for any of them. I earn too much to be eligible for the Enhanced CPF Housing Grant (EHG) or the Special CPF Housing Grant (SHG), but not enough to afford a bigger flat. I have a poor credit history due to some bad investments in the past, so I doubt that I will get a favourable loan from HDB or any bank.

I also face a lot of competition from other buyers who are in the same situation as me or worse. There are not enough flats to meet the demand, especially for the newer and more popular ones. The waiting time for a Build-To-Order (BTO) flat can be as long as seven years. The resale market is also very competitive and volatile, with prices fluctuating depending on the location, condition, and availability of the flats. I have to constantly monitor the market and be ready to make an offer when I see a good opportunity. But I also have to be careful not to overpay or get scammed by unscrupulous sellers or agents.

On top of that, I have to deal with the stress of my job. I work long hours, sometimes up to 12 hours a day, to meet my sales targets and earn commissions. I have to travel frequently to meet clients and attend meetings. I have to cope with the pressure and expectations from my boss, colleagues, and customers. I have to face the challenges and uncertainties of the global economy and the changing business environment. I have to constantly upgrade my skills and knowledge to stay relevant and competitive.

I often feel exhausted, frustrated, and anxious. I have trouble sleeping at night, thinking about my financial problems and my future. I have no time or energy to enjoy my hobbies or socialise with my friends. I have no interest or passion in my work. I have no sense of purpose or meaning in my life.

I sometimes wonder if it is worth it to work so hard for a HDB flat. Is it really the ultimate goal and dream of every Singaporean? Is it really the best way to measure my success and happiness? Is it really the only option for me and my family?

I have read some articles and tips on how to deal with work stress and how to find new meaning in my job. I have also heard of some alternative housing options, such as co-living, co-housing, or renting a private property. But I am not sure if they are suitable or feasible for me and my family. I am afraid to make any drastic changes or take any risks. I am afraid to disappoint my family or lose their respect and love.

I don’t know what to do. I feel trapped and hopeless. I feel like I will work until I die to buy a HDB flat.

I’m 27 years old. I have been living in Singapore for the past 10 years. For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled with my body image. I have an A-cup chest size, which is considered rather small compared to most of the women in Singapore.

Growing up, I never felt like I fit in with the other girls in my school. I was often teased for being flat-chested, and I was constantly compared to the other girls who had bigger breasts. It wasn’t easy for me to deal with the negative comments and looks from others.

To make matters worse, I have always been single.

I had crushes on guys in the past, but I never had the courage to act on them. I was always too self-conscious about my body to take any risks.

I know that the size of my chest has nothing to do with my worth as a person, but deep down I still feel like I’m not attractive enough to find a boyfriend. Everywhere I look, I see couples who look perfect together, and I can’t help but think of what it would be like to have someone like that in my life.

My friends have tried to reassure me that I’m just as attractive as any other woman, regardless of my breast size, but I can’t help but feel like I’m doomed to be alone forever. I’m sure there are guys out there who would find my body attractive, but I’m scared that I’ll never find one.

I’m also scared that if I do find someone, he’ll eventually be disappointed by the size of my chest and leave me. I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help but feel like my A-cup is a deal-breaker for most guys.

It’s been a long and difficult journey for me, but I’m trying to learn to accept and love my body the way it is. I’m learning to focus on the other aspects of myself that make me unique and attractive, such as my sense of humour and intelligence.

I’m also trying to be more confident in myself and take risks, even if it involves putting myself out there and going on dates. I’m slowly learning to believe that I am worthy of love and that there is someone out there who will appreciate me for who I am.

I’m still a work in progress, but I’m determined to keep striving towards self-love and confidence. I may never find a boyfriend, but I’m still working towards creating a life that I’m proud of.

In 2019 my wife got very close with a colleague. I asked her if she had a crush on her 19y.o colleague and she admitted she did. She is like 12 years older than him

She also admitted that at times they flirt and that she liked it. This shocked me and all of this came out right before my birthday vacation we were taking. The entire vacation she was texting this guy (yes, including on my birthday) I wanted to stay out and go to bars but she (wife) wanted to go back to our hotel on my birthday.

This continued all the time. She would go to bars with this guy and go over to his house and not come home all night. I called her screaming one night telling her to come home (immature) and she stayed at her house for another 2 hours after my call. One night, she said she was going to the bar with one of her male friends. I had work early the next morning and at this point, she had sworn to me that she had cut off contact with the colleague.

I went to sleep not thinking anything of it. She comes home super late (whatever) wakes me up so I get up to go pee and I’m watching a different colleagues Instagram story and low and behold – my wife had gone to a party at the house of THAT GUY I think she cheated on me with.

Fairly soon after that, the coworker moved and the problem (supposedly) stopped. A few weeks ago I saw my wife had liked a few of that colleague’s pictures on Instagram recently (despite unfollowing her). She claims it was an accident when sending her posts to someone else making fun of her, and I don’t believe her. Because of this and some other lies, she’s told I’ve made us go to couples counselling recently but I feel like it’s too late.

I want to throw in the towel because I know she cheated on me in my gut. I feel like an idiot for trusting her. I know it would break my heart if we split up, but I can’t get over it. It’s like every time she tries to criticize me all I can think is “so what, you cheated on me.”

Fast forward to 2022, I should have divorce with her back then, cause she did it again. Once a cheater forever a cheater.

something happened this morning and i have no one to talk to about this.

my uncle barged into my bedroom with my mother in the house who knew full well that i was changing in my room. they already make a huge deal about locking doors (especially my uncle and grandma who live next door and just bang on the door relentlessly till i open it).

anyways, my uncle barged in, stood there gawking at me for five good seconds then left without a sorry. i felt extremely violated and got mad and called my mom irresponsible which my uncle heard while leaving.

when i came back home from school, they were all up on me calling me a bad girl (cuz i called my mom irresponsible) and saying how i don’t have manners and am totally spoiled now and basically forcing me to apologize.

what infuriates me most is that no one acknowledges that i feel violated and what my uncle did was wrong. even my mom is trying to cover this up saying things like “she’s still a child”, “she doesn’t understand” (i am 18).

i feel really bad that no one is confronting my uncle and instead pining it all on me for being disrespectful. my family is acting like victim silencers and it makes me feel awful that they’re trying to make me apologize.

Netizen’s comments

If your door opens in to the room, you can get a wedge shaped piece of wood or something like that to put under the door while you’re inside to keep it shut. If anyone tries to barge in on you, ‘oopsies, the door got stuck’. Good luck, keep looking forward to the day when you can leave and never go back ever again.

I live about 15min from my parents. One sister lives 15 minutes from both of us and my other sister lives with my parents. My aunt lives with my parents, too.

Siblings went to university here and we’ve all stayed very close. We’d have dinner at least once a week. We’d drop kids off to each other regularly.

A few years ago, my mom was diagnosed with CLL. Long story short, she’s immunocompromised and her lungs are the most vulnerable part of her. CLL and age puts her in the “if you get Covid you’ll die” camp.

So when Covid came around, we agreed to quarantine.

My wife and I can’t avoid other people in our jobs. We’re effectively not in any “bubble”. Our kids are in school and at school. My sister and her husband work from home and the kids aren’t school age yet. My other sister works from home at my parents’ and my aunt doesn’t work. Both my parents work from home.

In other words, they can all be a bubble. My wife and our kids cannot.

It’s been like this since last March. Even after everyone got vaxxed, they cancelled having us come on Christmas because my mom got spooked due to Omicron. I get it. She’s playing the odds with her life.

None of the logic is bad. None of the logic makes me feel any better. I’ve gone from seeing them 100 times a year to maybe a FaceTime call every 1-3 weeks.

I’m so sad. I’m just so sad.

They’re all missing my kids growing up. My kids don’t get the benefit of being around these great people.

Work is starting to feel pointless. I have pretty bad anxiety. I’m on meds and seeing a psychologist (didn’t match with a few counselors). It’s not helping and the fact that it’s not helping makes me feel even more like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m not mad at anti-vaxxers, exactly, because being mad at the world feels like a waste of effort. So my anger has no target. I’d never let myself direct at people who aren’t deserving so it just fizzles out. It just turns into sadness and despair.

I think the toughest part is that I have no one to share this with and I have to hide it. I don’t want my kids to see dad being mopey. My wife just sees the logic and I get that. My therapist sees the logic and tells me thanks me for sharing my feelings. I don’t have anyone to really share this with.

I don’t have anything else to say. I’m sad and don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m in the dark and I don’t see a way out. That’s it.

So I’ve (28F) been with my boyfriend (28M) for a little over a year now. He went down on me once, the first time we f-ed, and that was it. It was used as fore play. I hadn’t brought it up or asked because he does other things that are new and exciting to me and get me off.

But lately I’ve been craving the feeling of a tongue on me.

We were having a deeper conversation about our bedroom activities and I asked why he doesn’t like eating out. He was a bit hesitant and beat around the bush (haha), assuring me that the issue isn’t something anyone can control, you can’t help what your body tastes like etc.

At this point I knew what he was about to say, and he admitted he does not like my taste or smell.

I’ve never had a partner complain about that before. Granted I haven’t had a large number of people between my legs, but enough to where -someone- would’ve mentioned it, if it was that bad.

Initially I was very hurt and embarrassed. I excused myself for a few minutes then came back to the conversation.

He started making suggestions of all these things we could try and make it a better experience for him. But I personally would not be able to enjoy myself if I have to worry about grossing him out with my taste/smell.

We ended that topic by him buying me a new toy that’s supposed to feel like being eaten out, and me promising to let him try again under special circumstances.

He has helped my confidence go through the roof, but now it’s shattered and I’m embarassed to have him even touch me between my legs.

I saw myself spending the future with him, but now I’m concerned we aren’t compatible. I also can’t help but feel like a whiny little girl “He WoN’t EaT mE oUt” because at the end of the day, I am satisfied or mostly satisfied with every other aspect of our relationship.

I had always hoped my partner would be love my taste and smell and feel though.

Any advice or experiences with this situation are extremely welcome. Feeling a little lost at the moment.

I am a property agent in Singapore, and I have a confession to make. I used to wear a Rolex watch to impress my clients, but it backfired on me. Here is my story.

I have been working as a property agent for over five years, and I have seen the ups and downs of the market. I have dealt with all kinds of clients, from first-time buyers to seasoned investors, from locals to foreigners, from budget-conscious to luxury-seeking. I have also faced a lot of competition from other agents, who are always trying to outdo each other in terms of service, knowledge, and professionalism.

I wanted to stand out from the crowd and make a good impression on my clients. I wanted to show them that I was successful, trustworthy, and reliable. I wanted to convince them that I was the best person to help them find their dream home or property. I wanted to earn their respect and loyalty.

So I decided to buy a Rolex watch. I had always admired the Rolex brand, which is synonymous with excellence, prestige, and quality. I had always dreamed of owning a Rolex watch, which is a symbol of status, wealth, and achievement. I thought that by wearing a Rolex watch, I could project a positive image of myself and my business. I thought that by wearing a Rolex watch, I could attract more clients and close more deals.

I spent a fortune on a Rolex Submariner, which is one of the most popular and iconic models of the brand. It cost me over S$18,000, which was more than half of my monthly income. But I thought it was worth it. I thought it was an investment. I thought it was a statement.

I was wrong. Wearing a Rolex watch did not help me in my career. In fact, it hurt me. It backfired on me. Here are some of the reasons why:

• It made me look arrogant and pretentious. Some of my clients were turned off by my Rolex watch, which they perceived as a sign of arrogance and pretentiousness. They thought I was showing off or trying to impress them. They thought I was overcharging them or taking a high commission. They thought I was not sincere or honest. They did not trust me or like me.
  
• It made me look desperate and insecure. Some of my clients were suspicious of my Rolex watch, which they questioned as a sign of desperation and insecurity. They wondered why I needed to wear such an expensive watch, or if it was even real. They doubted my credentials and experience. They challenged my advice and recommendations. They did not respect me or listen to me.
  
• It made me look out of touch and irrelevant. Some of my clients were indifferent to my Rolex watch, which they ignored as a sign of out of touch and irrelevant. They did not care about my watch, or any other accessories I wore. They cared about the properties I showed them, and the value I added to them. They cared about the market trends and the best deals. They did not appreciate me or follow me.

These were some of the reactions I got from my clients, who were not impressed by my Rolex watch. They were not influenced by my watch, or any other superficial factors. They were influenced by my performance, my personality, and my professionalism. They were influenced by my knowledge, my skills, and my service. They were influenced by my results, my testimonials, and my referrals.

I realized that wearing a Rolex watch was not a smart move for me as a property agent. It did not help me to build rapport, trust, or loyalty with my clients. It did not help me to generate leads, sales, or income. It did not help me to achieve my goals and dreams.

So I decided to sell my Rolex watch. I decided to focus on my core competencies and values as a property agent. I decided to invest in my education, training, and development. I decided to improve my communication, negotiation, and presentation. I decided to enhance my service, quality, and satisfaction.

And I am glad I did. I have seen a positive change in my career and my life. I have gained more confidence, respect, and recognition. I have attracted more clients, referrals, and repeat business. I have closed more deals, earned more commissions, and saved more money. I have achieved more success, happiness, and fulfillment.