Before I start I’d like to say that my gf and I are both women. We are les. I say this to hopefully preempt the ‘typical man’ comments.

This happened last month but my best friend and hers are still giving me naggins about it. We had our one year anniversary. I asked what she wanted and she told me just something romantic, a little necklace or something cute. While browsing around online I found an emulsion blender and it pinged in my head.

My gf loves cooking and always talks about all the gadgets she wants. Plus she made homemade tomato sauce and I remember her complaining how hard it was to make the sauce smooth cause she didn’t have an emulsion blender. I’m a very practical gift giver, I like to give things people will use so I bought it and was super excited to give it to her.

The day rolls around and she gives me a bottle of whiskey I’ve had my eye on for ages but could never justify the cost. I was so hyped and encouraged my gf to open hers.

She opened it and her face kinda falls and she goes ‘oh… an emulsion blender…?’ And I told her I remembered her talking about all the kitchen gadgets she wanted and was so excited to give it to her.

She kept her cool but told me while she appreciated the thought she was a little upset that it wasn’t jewellery. I was confused so she explained that she felt anniversaries should be more about romantic/sentimental gifts versus practical, that she appreciated it greatly but couldn’t lie to me that she wished it had been the necklace she pointed out to me online (it was nothing fancy, a $30 mushroom necklace).

I shared my woes with my friend and my friend thought it was hilarious that I was so inept, and that he understood why my gf was upset with her gift. Gf’s best friend also got wind of the situation and has been ribbing me with telling my gf to get back to the kitchen jokes etc.

My gf and I are fine but I know she was disappointed, and she ended up buying the necklace herself a week after I gave her the blender. So am I wrong for giving my gf a practical gift versus the necklace she wanted?

I succeeded in chasing a girl way out of my league and now getting cold feet. Should I tell her honestly and pull out?

I’m with this girl for a few months, let’s call her J. I was initially very attracted to J’s good looks and well grooming. I’d say her looks are among the top 10-15% of all the girls I met. Despite being an average guy, I planned and chased her and won her heart after some time. However, as we spent more time and knowing each other better, I realized there is indeed a huge gap in lifestyle and abilities between J and me

– J lives in a big semi d landed house while my family lives in a old 4 room flat. Her dad owns several successful businesses while my parents are average income workers

– Her social skills are top notch and she can talk to ppl and make friends easily across age groups and nationalities. I don’t make friends easily as I don’t reveal myself too much to strangers. I also have problem’s especially dealing with ppl with power and knowledge like bosses or professors.

– she is an active sports person and her body is very fit. I’m slightly chubby, although tall. I don’t have a toned body and often struggle to pass my IPPT.

– she is fluent in English, Chinese and german, almost to the native level. I speak singlish most of the time and can’t even write standard English or Chinese well.

– Her CAP is 4.6x while I am 3.1x.

There are many other things too. I have asked J what attracted her to me and she said it was my integrity, sincerity and kindness. But I know that integrity and kindness alone can’t sustain a relationship. My confidence drops a little every time I went out with J and know more about her. We are still in the honeymoon phase but she may start comparing me with other guys once the honeymoon fades. I have heard many examples that it just won’t work out if the guy and girl are too different. Even if she can accept me, her family would disapprove such a guy due to the big diff in SES. I’m thinking to take some pain now and just break off instead of prolonging smth that prob won’t end well.

–

Earlier this year I discovered my wife of 8 years having an emotional affair with a friend and coworker.

They’d been flirting, texting in secret late at night, sending suggestive photos, saying “I love you,” sharing physical affection at work, and on one occasion they kissed at a bar while I thought she was with girlfriends.

When I finally confronted my wife, her response was to apologize and swear to cut the inappropriate behavior out of their friendship.

But she seems to expect to keep the friendship. As I’ve said, it’s been months. We’ve had many arguments about this. I know she is continuing to talk to him against my wishes, even though she swears it is now all innocent.

I am, I think understandably, uncomfortable with welcoming this person–who I’ve never met–to keep spending time around my wife.

My concern is not about what led to this situation, whether we should stay together or get divorced, or whether or not what happened qualifies as “real cheating.” We’ve hashed those things out.

So, under what circumstances or conditions would you tolerate this relationship?

If I don’t want this person to associate with her, and assuming my wife and I both want to save the marriage, is there a compromise that can be struck, or should I stick to my guns?

Netizens’ comments

She’s prioritising her relationship with him over your relationship. She doesn’t seem very invested in saving your marriage at all. I wouldn’t tolerate this and would be phoning the divorce lawyer. She’s still cheating.

So my son and daughter in law got engaged about 2yrs ago and a year ago I found out my husband has been cheating on me.

I filed for divorce and since then my son and my DIL started supporting his father more and i found out the reason was that he’s funding the wedding.

I was a SAHM but in the divorce, i got about 80% of his everything and my son was extremely against it and tried to get me to back down, when i refused he called me a horrible mom and a wife, and the reason my father cheated was that nobody can live with me.

After he said that my parents stopped supporting him. He blamed it on me. Divorce was finalised about 4mnths ago and one more thing was that for tax reasons his parents that my inlaws inherited all their properties to me.

Now the value is in millions. Although it was disclosed in the divorce documents my ex didn’t check it and i didn’t knew its current value either. But now my son wants me to come to the wedding and help them as his father couldn’t afford to anymore.

I refused and told them to leave my property and never come back. Both of them yelled about how I’m the worst mother and has no right to be a mother for abandoning my own son.

I seriously hate them and the way they treated me at my lowest. But now my mother is saying being a mother is all about forgiveness and that i should be the bigger person. And she also told me if i dont go to the wedding she wouldn’t either and if she doesn’t lots of other relatives won’t. Which is making me wonder if I’m not in the right?

My 24year old boyfriend is mad at me for telling him he doesn’t care that I am sick with covid.

On Thursday I had a horrible fever and didn’t want to move, much less take care of our 1 yr old by myself. He went to party, he told me he’d come deliver me food right after practice. Instead, he stayed an extra 2 hours to eat there and get himself signed in and help a friend get moved in.

I was upset by this and told him he didn’t care that I was here sick. He then got very mad at me and said “how dare I say he doesn’t care about me when he does everything for me.” Which I meant he didn’t care that I felt sick. He says he didn’t realize how sick I felt or he’d right away.

I am upset because he didn’t come home when he said he would when I felt too sick to do anything.

The rest of the day he wouldn’t talk to me until that night when he got mad at me again for saying he didn’t care and told me that I am ungrateful and always complain. He then also called me a psychopath for always complaining and driving him insane. we would apparently never argue if I didn’t complain and wasn’t so ungrateful. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that I think he doesn’t care.. but it seemed like he had more important things to do in his eyes…

He hasn’t talked to me in 2 days.

I was in shock because he was being so mean to me while I was sick and I didn’t see how what I said was so horrible to deserve that treatment. Is it bad of me to claim that he doesn’t care? I know he cares about me in general because he does alot for me but by me saying that he didn’t care, he says I’m ungrateful .

I got cheated on by my girlfriend of 4 years with a one night stand.

She ended up getting pregnant, and i thought it was mine until she confessed everything. She confessed one night while we were just cuddling, i have my suspicions but i guess she couldn’t resist the guilt. She started begging and telling me that she cut him off and everything, you know the drill.

It destroyed me but she only told me a couple days later that the baby wasnt mine. Thats when i lost it. She started begging and crying again and after days of her just trying to keep me to stay with her i told her that i would stay at only one condition.

The condition was that she would have to get an abortion.

She agreed and went thru all the steps to get it. After everything was finished i told her that i never intended to stay and that i made her go thru an abortion only to get my revenge after everything she made me go thru and that she deserved every bit of pain that comes into her life.

i kept insulting her for hours even on private stuff that only i knew. after that i told her to get out or i would call the police. i will never forget the face that she made. in that moment it made me feel good but only now i realized how f up it was. its been months since i last saw her and somethimes i get so guilty that my body freezes, my stomach hurts and start sweating and most time even crying.

all i know is she went to live back with her parents. and since we have mutual friends sometimes i ask how she is doing. but they just give me a look and mumble something. what should i do? please help

the story is more complex but i tried to keep it as short as possible.

Haiz. Really feel so fed up with a marriage where my MIL does not respect boundaries.

My MIL, for one, is nice. But she does not respect boundaries. She will feed baby (LO) anything & say is cause don’t want LO to be picky about food. Things like McD, my baby has tried. But LO is only 8mths old! ???? Told her not to feed, but she still feeds

Milk, she insists on using formula because “convenient”, but LO is used to & prefers to look for me for feeds

She fed my LO water before 6mths old. Even though we told her not to.

She fed my 2yo nephew coffee saying that there’s no cream or sugar. Just pure coffee. I don’t understand. Do kids drink coffee nowadays?

I’m so stressed out. My husband kept siding with his mum. He says that since we have brought it to her attention, she won’t feed anymore. He says that she fed nephew coffee cause his parents fed him a little at times (a sip once in awhile).

Problem is, multiple times I have let her know of our discomfort & decision not to introduce certain food to LO. Some are unhealthy, some are choking hazards. But she repeatedly ignored what I have said & feed LO.

Not just that. Today she gave 2 of my clothes to my SIL ???? I am currently staying with her so I brought some clothes over to wear. I don’t have a lot of clothes at my in-laws place. But she gave my clothes to my SIL cause she says that I’m not wearing them ???? But those are my favourite clothes. I can’t bear to wear them. Now they are given to someone else to wear. I’m heartbroken ????

What do you guys do to a MIL who does not respect boundaries & a husband that does not understand his mum & no matter what, sides with her more? ????

Husband acts like he prefers my daughter over me

I got married & gave birth when i was 18.

The marriage eventually ended & i remarried, bringing my daughter along when she was a teenager.

Now my daughter has grown up and married. However, my husband’s behaviour seems weird recently.

He will want to include my daughter in every outing or meal. I can’t go “paktor” with him anymore without him asking me to call my daughter to come along.

Once during dinner with friends, he chose to sit beside her instead of me, taking up the seat meant for her husband. When i asked him to move over & sit with me, he just said he prefers to sit there with his girlfriend.

I trust my daughter not to have anything of that kind with my husband, but i don’t trust my husband anymore. He would rather go to her for opinions and help everytime when he has a wife just beside him. I tried to talk to him about it but he always changes the subject.

Do i have the right to suspect him?