I met this guy (both of us are in our early 20’s) around October. We immediately hit it off and had a lot in common. My friends and family met him and even really liked him.

He seemed like a genuinely sweet, cool guy. We’d both said we were looking for a relationship (which I feel makes the situation extra gross), but hadn’t gotten to that point yet. We’d gone on quite a few dates, all of which ended with us hooking up. In-person, he was great. But when he wasn’t around a lot of things just didn’t add up, so I’d been keeping my guard up and proceeding with caution. I thought I was dealing with a typical f-boy with commitment issues, but it turned out to be much worse.

He has a significant other. I found out by a friend seeing something he’d posted on social media talking about his SO. I called him out and have since been blocked on everything. Having been the person cheated on before, I would hope that the other person would tell me. I have no idea who the SO is, but I feel like they deserve to know. I have screenshots of everything, I just don’t know any of his friends or family and most of his accounts are private now. What would you guys do in my position? Is there anything I can do here?

What Netizens say:

• I would always apologize to the SO let them know I didn’t know and say I can provide evidence if they need it. Always tell, their life may be at risk from an STD, they deserve to know.

• Move on. Lesson learned. Dont spend any more energy on this. The SO will find out, or already knows, without you doing anything
• Hire an internet expert, to help u expose and punish those evil people out there.

I’m 35 , male, married with 2 kids.

I met my wife in school when I was 22 and she was 20.

We dated for 7 years before tying the knot.

Throughout our relationship, I have always thought of her as my future partner because she is what society consider to be an ideal girl. She is smart, pretty, loving, kids-loving etc.

2 years ago, I started to have some feelings about my colleague. I feel extremely guilty about it but I cannot control it.

While my wife is great in the eyes of others, I’m lacking this excitement in life. Our conversations are very superficial e.g. what the kids eat, how the kids behave. We don’t delve into topics about my emotions and feelings.

This colleague of mine is a stunner imo (my friends and colleagues think my wife is way prettier though). We can chat for hours and talk about anything and everything. She feels like my soulmate.

I haven’t cheated physically but I feel like I am already cheating emotionally.

I don’t know if I love my wife romantically anymore, or love her as a friend or whether I have even loved her at all.

What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• 情变了亲情。Normal Alpha male behaviour. Whatever you decide to do, let your conscience guide you but whatever you finally do, be aware that at the end of the day, only your wife whom you have pledged to be with in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, will be beside you to see you through your difficulties.

• Dude, imagine this life with this person and fast forward 10 years, IT WILL BE THE SAME. If your wife is prettier and you still grew out of her, then what chance does this girl have? If you want to talk feelings, trying taking your wife out for a romantic date where you guys aren’t in a hurry and talk about life. And do this everyday, spend 15 min in bed talking about aspirations and fears, BE VULNERABLE to each other. Redecorate a room you’ve lived in, not discard it for one that looks neat only because it’s empty.

• You should go buy a ps5 and wait for the new spiderman game

My parents hit me as a way of discipline and I didn’t turn out fine.

Now I’m an emotionally, socially stunted adult who cries when people get slightly upset with her. Cool.

I appreciate everyone who has expressed their support and shared their stories. I’m sorry so many of us went through similar experiences.

To those who think that we’re being dramatic or that we’re weak, we’re not. It’s crazy to support putting your hands on a defenseless being because you can’t communicate effectively.

To hurt inflict physical pain to someone smaller than you, relies on you and looks up to you is wrong. It is a powerplay and it’s not right.

To put it simply, physical violence against children is 100% excessive.

I have 3 well-behaved cousins who have never been hit, spanked, or yelled at They excel in everything they do.

They’re kind. They’re thriving because they are not threatened or humiliated. Their parents do not use any type of violence against them because it is not as effective as their parents thought it was. They receive proper discipline. They know they are loved.

my mom wants me to choose a present for my birthday and i don’t want to

my birthday is in July so she asked me now to have enough time to buy a present. i don’t want anything but she says i absolutely must choose something.

she doesn’t take no as an answer. i hate my birthday and thinking about it makes me sad so i don’t want to celebrate at all

my biggest wish is that someone would watch me while i play videogames and comment. but no one in my family cares what i do and i’ve been playing alone for years, even though everyone is in the same room. i cannot ask them to watch because they will laugh

at my last birthday my grandma’s friend and her little daughter suddenly visited our house. i didn’t care about the cake they brought at all.

her daughter spent the whole day near me and enjoyed watching me walking around town and talking to people. thanks to her this birthday was the best

i just don’t want to be alone… i don’t need any presents…

My employer is forcing me out by making work miserable. I have a job offer – should I take it?

I need some advice on whether to leave my current job for a new opportunity. Here’s the situation:

My company recently got new management who are restructuring my department. My subordinate left 2 months ago, and now they want me to take on her responsibilities in addition to more mundane, thankless support tasks for the team that nobody else wants to do. And if I don’t accept their “offer”, they said I can just stay until the end of the year to get my bonus and then leave.

It’s basically downgrading my role. Plus, they’re bringing in someone new (a former subordinate of the new boss) to take over projects I wanted to lead.

I’ve been looking around, because I haven’t been seeing a future here or any plans to develop me. I got a new job offer, but it has some drawbacks:

The pay bump isn’t great. Looking just at the base salary, the new offer is a bit more per month than I make now. But my current annual total pay including the yearly bonus, when broken down monthly, is about the same as the new job’s monthly amount

The location is farther, but work from home (hybrid) flexibility helps. (My current employer also has the same hybrid arrangement)

The new job’s health insurance doesn’t cover kids.

Leaving now means losing my year-end bonus in a couple months if I stayed.

Since I’d join late in the year, I’d miss the raise and bonus cycle until halfway through next year.

The new title and growth outlook seems better than my current dead-end job though. The offer isn’t ideal, but I’m inclined to take it and escape my current toxic workplace. It just doesn’t sit right with me to lose out on that bonus and the small raise.

Maybe I’m just looking for arguments could help convince me I’m doing the right thing…

What other factors would make you abandon a job with good benefits?

Netizen’s comments

I’ll just attempt to paraphrase based off the information you have provided and hopefully provides you with more clarity to decide on your next steps:

1. The overall compensation package is better in your company when taking into consideration the health insurance.
2. You save travel time to and fro your current workplace whenever you have to report to office. You can do the math to work out how much time you save in a year versus the new job.
3. Someone else is coming in to relieve you of your projects. You may feel that you are losing out on opportunities to display your capabilities, hampering your career development even though your workload will decrease (maybe offset by the “mundane” stuffs which you would be taking on) .
4. You retain your salary & title while covering your subordinate duties and the “thankless” and “mundane” support tasks. Now nobody likes shitty and thankless jobs, but remember your subordinate performed some of those tasks with a lower pay and title before he/she left. Sometimes leaving behind a bruised ego allows a person to see things clearer and identify new opportunities.
5. Nothing in life is predictable. The restructuring may present new opportunities in the long run while the new job may be a cesspool in disguise.

Names changed to protect identities.

My best friend Sabrina who I’ve known for 16 years now, has been with her girlfriend Allison for 9 years now, they’ve lived together since 2014. (yes she is bi)

I’ve been with my girlfriend Kate for 13 years now, she moved from Thailand to be with me. We were planning to move to Thailand but the pandemic hit and we can’t do that yet. But we want to. We’re wealthy enough to, got no kids.

They’re a self-described “very femme less couple” and hate it if people assume one’s the masculine one, one’s the feminine partner.

I’ve known Sabrina since September 2004. Recently via my cousin Alex (works as food delivery rider) found out that Dad had been cheating on Mom with Sabrina, she said she’d seen Dad kissing this woman in a McDonald’s car park with her sitting on the hood of a sports car. She did get a photo which she sent me.

She didn’t confront my Dad but was embarrassed; she’d seen that as it was on her regular delivery route.

I’m an only child with no siblings. Dad was very upset when Mom was told she could have no more kids; my own birth was difficult according to mom.

I told her over Whatsapp that it was my best friend’s girlfriend and she was shocked. We didn’t get a chance to meet up in person so talked over Whatsapp instead.

As it is, I’ve told Sabrina, showed her the photo and she was crying; saying she wondered if she’d regretted 9 years of being with her and wonders what a postpandemic dating market will be like for her since she’s nearly 40.

I also confronted my Dad about it, and he didn’t deny it, saying “Mom’s getting obese” and “She’s losing her drive to Netflix”.

But those two things are nonsense; Mom’s 61, does hiking. She’s always been fit.

Dad seems to want to leave Mom for Allison and they seem to want to be married?

Allison as my stepmom? Weird or sick??

Looking for advice on how to support mom and my best friend.