I (34M) learned that my ex fiancé (30F) slept with my best friend (34M) 6 years ago

My best friend of 22 years, a literal part of my family in every sense but blood, told me he f-ed my ex fiancé multiple times, stone cold sober, when we were engaged in 2017

So this person we will call Sam, has been my best friend since age 12. We were as close as any best friends could be. He literally integrated my family, which is big.

He was always with me, hanging out, family events, weddings, funerals, vacations, reunions… you name it. I loved him like a brother and we viewed each other as such, or so I thought.

Rewind to May 2017, id been with my then girlfriend for 3 years. We had a 2 year old together. I was in the middle of getting my shit together, going to school, working 60 hours a week, looking to better myself and family.

In July that year I proposed to her and we were so excited. Long story short, she got pregnant again, we pushed back the wedding, ended up separating in 2020 with a really messy break up.

Recently Sam and his fiancé were set to get married and she broke it off 2 weeks before for a number of reasons I don’t need to get into here.

I spent a few thousand out of pocket on the bachelor party and then organizing all the dudes to get together to support him so he wouldnt be alone on his wedding day. Just trying to be a good friend.

Well, they had a small trip planned before their big honeymoon and decided to go since it was nonrefundable. An obviously bad idea. Not sure what happened but they got in a big fight, and Sam drunkenly blurted out that he slept with (my fiancé)

Well obviously he sobered up and knew it would get back to me so he went into damage control and started controlling the narrative about how he was glad he could finally get this off his chest and he would grow from it and all that bullshit that no one is buying.

I eventually learned from him, that they slept together (at least) 3 times. The first was at my house while I wasn’t there.

If I find out my daughter was there I may murder him. And 2 more times after work at the restaurant they both worked at. While I’m sitting at home waiting for her to come home, she’s f-ing my best friend. Cool

Of course she denies it but why on earth would he implode his entire life, his 22 year friendship with me,all his friendships in our friend group which is big, any chance of reconciliation with fiancé, literally ruin his whole reputation, for something that wasn’t true? Makes zero sense. Makes a lot more sense that he’s telling the truth and she is just trying to save face

This is nuts. If I’d learned that she cheated on me with some random guy 6 years ago I’d be upset but it wouldn’t really change much. This feels like such an incredible stab in the back I cannot process it fully.

It wasn’t a one time drunken mistake. It was a conscious, sober, well devised plan to do that and not let me know for 6 years. It hurts. Just the ultimate betrayal.

My question is, how should I proceed from here?

I had a bewb slip at a family reunion

Recently there was a family reunion because of our grandma’s birthday. It was a big party, a little full as family reunions can be but also nice.

Many relatives were there that I haven’t seen in years so I had to retell half of my life’s story a couple of times – from my schooling days until now where I work as a teacher.

I’ll be blunt: I have huge bewbs. Some of my relatives knew me when I was still flat as a board. So I had to expect that to become a topic at least once in conversation.

I mostly had to assure that they weren’t fake and what macromastia means. That’s ok though because at this point of my life I learned to deal with my size, the attention and all that comes with it.

I’m affectionately called Aunt titi by some in my family and comfortable with it. I’m also not afraid of wearing revealing clothes from time to time. On that particular day I was wearing neck holder dress.

Later in the evening my nephew snuck up on me and hugged me from behind almost making my bewbs fall out of my dress pressing himself against my behind – which raised a couple of eyebrows already.

I just screamed and laughed trying to escape his grip – he’s a bit smaller than me but strong. Almost everyone looked at us playfully wrestling until I noticed that my left nip was out in the open and my entire bewb was about to escape the dress.

And before that could happen my sister went between us and helped me cover up. It wasn’t a big deal, once he let go I rearranged my dress and sat down with my nephew, my sister and a couple of friends to chat.

We were laughing at the whole thing but I could tell some of my family were really embarrassed by what happened and avoided me.

That hurt s bit and made me angry. So when my sister and her family went home later and my nephew launch himself at me for a full motorboating attack I just let it happen to show all these bigots how little I care.

Family member stole money because scammed

John, 28, was scammed and lost all his personal saving. He asked his family for help and they decided to lend him money as he slowly pay them back.

John, scammed again and need more money, asked his cousins for help. Family found out again and still decided to lend him money for his necessities (i.e. bills, daily food etc).

Fast forward about a week, John took his parents’ atm card because he thinks he can get his money back, stole 25% (below 20k) and got scammed AGAIN.

Parents are very unconfrontational and wants to forgive, citing that John keeps threatening to commit not unalive himself and that money can be earned back despite John scolding his Parents for telling on him as well).

Seems like John was being scammed dby the same person (give 3k, they’ll promise back 8k etc etc). Which is odd because he is usually very levelheaded and people-smart.

John’s sibling is furious that Parents is willing to forget everything that happened because they have placed tighter security on their atm card and bank accounts.

What should John’s sibling do? Fold that unfilial stupid John in half (possibly get arrested for assault)? Call police to arrest John (Parents will be upset, ruins John’s life cuz jail, Parents might side with John because they don’t want him to go to jail)?

Edit: Thank you everyone for your comments. It is very assuring to have a wide pool of opinions on this matter.

Police report was made when John got scammed for the 1st time. Now that he has stolen money from my parents’ bank account, should I report John to the police for theft?

Netizens’ comments

1. Separate money, bank accounts, stay courteous but stand your ground that you will not be around while they consciously sink their ship.
   Also which idiot gets scammed the same way again and again?
   They are probably gambling the money away or are part of sextortion.
   Separate finances. Be ready to take a loss on other family assets. Protect yourself. Let them stay in their sinking ship.
2. Or is he… the real scammer?
3. John was not scammed. John is the scammer.
4. It’s not a case of scam. A 1000% it’s a gambling/addiction thing. The MO has been the same probably since the beginning of time – i.e., lying to your loved ones to fund your addiction.

How is working in corporate / CBD like?

I see a lot of people on TikTok posting that their work life in the cbd is really good. The office looks so new and modern, free flow of snacks, time to go for gym classes in the town area. Makes me feel like the lifestyle is really good compared to working in other areas like industrial parks or other office areas.

What are the pros and cons of working in corporate or working in the cbd area?

Asking those who work in corporate. Is working in cbd really is good as what it is shown? I feel there is so much things to do in the cbd area compared to other areas with industrial parks. Except of course the crowded mrt rides in 8am in the morning.

Feel free to pm me to share your experiences as well , I would love to hear your experiences working in the town area in Singapore.

Netizens’ comments

1. No one is incentivised to put unglamourous things on social media.
   Expect food and transport costs to more than double when working in CBD (basic meal is $8-15 vs $5-8 in industrial areas; more frequent restaurant and cafe visits).
   Also expect the pace of life to be incredibly hectic. Imagine joining an incredible crowd of people heading into work at 8am each day, or being stuck in dense slow traffic, then scattering to your ultra-dense office blocks, and doing that return journey home. During lunch break, instead of a slow stroll to the nearest coffee shop or a communal car ride to a lunch place nearby, you take a lift downstairs into the dense lunch crowd and walk to your chosen location, filled with people rushing to get their meal before their 1hour break ends.
   Perks include:
   -prestige of working in a gleaming tower block located in CBD
   -your typical office has nicer renovation (not always) since the kind of company that needs a CBD office also needs to put on a show for employees and customers.
   -more interesting food and dining options and restaurants around
   -easy access to amenities (gym, leisure places after work, etc)
   -other perks like snacks vary from company to company, though I’ve heard of more companies even in industrial areas realise the value of a good snack corner or private napping room.
2. Working in MBFC area is really expensive!! Lunch is really expensive. I dunno why. My colleagues alwyas like to eat in the malll. Going LpS is like being on a diet. You go alone.
3. WFH better. CBD means your expenses go up too.

I’m 30 yrs old with still such a low pay. Is anyone in a similar boat as me?

I saw another post from a couple of hours ago, where ppl were stating their starting pays, and many of them were stating like $4k. (Most of them were university science graduates).

My pay is $2.6k.. I’m an art teacher. After cpf I only take home $2.1k, and im already 30. It does kind of suck seeing what other people are earning who are younger than me.

Is anyone in the same conundrum as me?

Netizens’ comments

1. Hey was in the same boat as you. Start freelancing aside from teaching art at an enrichment centre to earn more. If you have an established art portfolio it’s even better to teach art at your own capacity than at a centre as well.
2. 30 in a few years time, and my pay is only 2.8k. Most of my former classmates earn $3.5k and above as their starting pay.
3. Somehow, I’m getting the feeling that you’re confusing yourself. Your actions doesn’t seem financially driven, and I’m not saying that’s wrong – everyone has different wants in life. What I’m saying is: if what you do, i.e teaching art, is bringing you happiness, then don’t cloud yourself when you read posts talking about paygrades. Art and Education unfortunately doesn’t make its worth in Singapore, and I suspect this is something you knew going in, but went ahead anyway out of passion.
   If you continue down the enrichment centre route, it’s not going to be any much different monetarily than what you make now. Worst yet, most of them are importing younger and cheaper teachers who are fully qualified for a fraction of the price. If you do go back to NIE, find out what the MOE teachers are making and work out your cost and time-cost of going back to school. The 2-3 years of studying downtime needs to be factored in as cost as well given the loss of income.
   I’ve recently met a painter who moved to NZ to teach horse-riding. After expanding her network and horizons for a few years, she just headed back home earlier this year to start her own art gallery with some friends she met in NZ.
   Life could literally take you anywhere, you just have to decide if you are passion or financially driven.
   I’m envious that you have found a calling so strong that you could see yourself chasing after as a career. Not many of us are lucky that way – most of us just pick what we can stand doing and pray we get better at it.