Tired

Just needed a place to rant and hear thoughts.

Being a mother is not easy, I know. However I’m not sure why recently I’m feeling more and more imbalance. I hv 2 kids – 3 yrs old and 3 months.

3 months – usually helper will take care. So I will take care the elder one.

Mother duties:

1. Work and earn money

2. Make milk

3. Shower for kid

4. Change diaper

5. Gobble down meals

6. Rushed shower

7. Make kid sleep

8. Express breastmilk for baby

9. Any other misc kids stuff to attend to

Father duties

1. Work and earn money

Wtf? Sometimes I will say a bit like I cannot hv a good sleep when sleeping with my elder one. Then my mil will shoot me and say “what do u expect when taking care of a child”.

Honestly I feel quite frustrated. 2nd child i had zero rest at all. Confinement 40 days I hv to recuperate, pump breastmilk, take care of newborn at night. Thankfully I hv my helper to take care newborn in the daytime.

My heart and soul feeling tired and not so positive anymore …

Here are what netizens think:

• idk why everyone in the comments isn’t addressing the main issue, which is: why isn’t your husband helping you??? i can’t imagine having to care for my child alone on top of work. my husband does most of the housework and a lot of the childcare over the weekends, and it really lightens my load (mostly mental). he’s even ok for me to take a weekend off to travel with my mom while he watches my 2yo son. we are in this together and we are partners. your kids are as much your husband’s responsibility as they are yours. please do have a good talk with him about this or even seek counseling if it’ll help. jiayou!! 

• Have a chat with your GP. Could it be post natal depression?

• I feel you. I have a 20months old and a 5 months old. Its not easy… tired is an understatement. i can only say , we will one day see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Should I marry my bf if i can’t stand his mom

I’ve been together with my bf for 5 years, we are both in our late twenties already. Recently we started discussing about settling down and getting a resale flat. I have doubts because the idea of having his mom as my MIL scares tf out of me.

His mom is a very snobbish person. Likes to think that just because she is educated she can can always make nasty remarks about other parents around her age. Once, I said hi to their neighbours and she was very unhappy about it. Told me that she doesn’t talk to them because the mom next door is “too aunty” for her. My bf mom are into high fashion, yup she’s those kind that will judge other moms based on what bags they carry. She even stopped playing mahjong with this new group of friends she made and her reason was “they speak mostly Chinese so I don’t like.” When she literally speak Chinese most of the time at home. I absolutely can’t stand her. Most of the time she treats me well so I just bear with that snobbish attitude of hers because I’ve no choice and in no position to call her out. There are a lot more snobbish remarks she made but I bet you can already imagine what kind of “atas” woman she is.

Honestly my biggest worry is that my bf mom will speak ill of my family if they were to meet one day. My parents are not as privileged growing up, they have low education and only speak Chinese and Hokkien at home. They can’t converse in English at all. My mom doesn’t carry designer bags like she does. My parents are extremely humble people. And I’m proud of my mom being the typical aunty, the ones she hate. Honestly I am mentally prepared for this day to come because I know it will. And I’m ready to go to war with this snobbish bitch if she talks shit about my family.

Should I talk to my bf? Or should I even continue this relationship? I’m afraid I will regret one day because I know I will definitely choose my family over him. I don’t want to put my bf in a difficult position.

What is ahead? It’s so boring

I and my wife are in our late 30s. We each earn around $20k/monthly, not including year end bonus (average 30-40% of our annual base). Somehow I feel lost.

Wealth – We are financially smart. We are not into luxury stuff or flashy cars. We own 2 landed houses in Singapore. The housing loan is only about 40% of the asset prices. It’s all from our hard earned money, we started and made everything from zero. No lottery winning whatsoever. We are lucky as the houses have appreciated alot after COVID. The mortgage is only around 10% of our monthly income as one house is paid by itself using rental income.

Hobbies – Every year we spend at least 1.5 month traveling with kids. We enjoy and spend alot on good experiences, good hotels and good food during our trips. It is still well within our budget around 10% of our total annual income.

Career and Health – All is excellent. Great work life balance (knock off at 5pm) and a lot of freedom. Physical and mental health is good (touch wood).

Marriage – No marriage is perfect but we understand and accept each other well. Good S life, my wife gets climaxes at least once everytime we have it.

Despite having all the great things in life, I still feel there is something not right. I probably lose my ambition to strive hard. My career is probably too easy, it’s definitely difficult for others but I manage it so well. I have tried moving out of my comfort zones many times but always get things done so well and feel everything mediocre again. My work day is just simply to wait for the weekends to come.

I really do not know what keep me awake in the next 10 years. Should I just close one eye and continue like this? I really feel bored, extremely bored. It is a bit early for me to give up doing something great in life? Any advices to refresh my mind? Is it worth it to jump into something big?

So for the last few months, I’ve been hearing these sounds coming from my bedroom window. I can’t remember when it started exactly because it’s pretty sporadic though I think this sort of thing is relatively new.

It tends to happen every night for a couple of weeks on and off, but will go months without happening again. I’ve only ever heard it at night and usually pretty late. The sounds themselves have a decent range as well. Sometimes it there will be scratching on the side of the living room window, then it’ll start to become tapping on my window. (It is not a bird, as the HDB lights are bright here and there are no shadows of birds)

One time in particular it was very loud and persisted throughout the night. The sounds started from the left window, like scratching which then travelled along the side of the wall moving upwards until it reached my ceiling and began tapping and scraping at my window. Keep in mind this is my bedroom and I sleep on the second floor of the block. I actually have gotten so annoyed by it some nights that I’ve thought of yelling at it to stop (these sorts of things happen all the time so I’m very jaded).

There’s nothing outside my window that someone could stand on to reach it unless they had a ladder, and even if that were the case I’ve opened the window and looked outside with my phone flashlight and saw nothing. And just to be even clearer on how odd this is I’ll hear these sounds on calm quiet nights with no wind. So it’s definitely not a person or a tree branch because there are none outside my window even close enough to reach it.

I managed to record the sound one night. I know it’s not the most convincing audio clip because the sound could be caused by anything when you hear it, but I swear this is what I hear clear as day when I’m just in my room at night. It happened again shortly last night February 21st, I wasn’t able to catch it on time and it was much fainter.

I don’t think I can add the clip to this post without making another one? So maybe I’ll link it in the comments somehow. If you know how to do that pls tell me hehe

I think I deserve better

There’s this guy I met online. He’s my age and he cooks steak and shares my faith.

I mean the only reason I hold on is because I feel like he’s nice, shares my faith and my wishes and taste. Plus he can cook and clean . But recently, he didn’t give me the sense of security and assurance I need when it comes to the topic of cheating. He’d give me that giggle like he’s hiding something. Weird.

It also didn’t help that my friend told me that all married men cheat behind their wives’ back. A bit hesitant to marry but also don’t wanna be alone.

I calculated that it would take $20k to start a family of 2 kids.

I feel that somehow, I deserve a better guy

I earn more than my current partner. I earn close to $10k. I can cook, I clean, I can grow plants too. Plus I am better than him in bed, I usually I initiate it. He lasts maybe 10min. I can go on for an hour 3x a day. Do I deserve better?

Here are what netizens think:

• too full of yourself

• If you think you deserve better with all your so-called attributes and earning power, you ought to go ahead and find better guys out there. Why are you complaining here?

• Why is it a question anymore? Asking for advice so you will feel less guilty? You already despised him. Looks like you think he is inferior to you in all aspects. By the way you use the word “nice” so you have no attraction for him. The thorn of the issue is earning power right? Leave and go get a more “superior” man. I’m sure you can . You think only you have options and he doesn’t have?

• However “all married men cheat” is an emotional sweeping statement and doesn’t do justice to countless faithful married men out there.

I’ve spoken before about strange goings on in my house. This one happened just two days ago.

My son came to me with something in his hand. It was a small, slim pencil that was chewed at one end. It has an upside down cross carved on it and it clearly looked old.

I asked him where he found it and he said it was in his room. I was too excited about the find to really ask him anything else.

Later that night I asked my son to show we where he found the pencil, as it dawned on me that when we moved in we’d completely cleared the unit and re-decorated.

I expected him to say he’d found it under a cupboard or something, but he said it was sitting in the middle of his room.

I’d never seen that pencil before, and can’t understand what it would be doing in the centre of the room, just a day after I’d vacuumed upstairs. No one can explain it.

Has anyone else had objects appear in the house that you can’t account for? This isn’t particularly scary, but coupled with other strange goings-on it certainly seems odd.

Netizens comments

Has this repeatedly happen?

I know my friend shared a story about how he moved into an apartment with his girlfriend at the time who has a deadly reaction to nuts.

He told me on numerous occasions how when the girl would come back from work, there’d be random walnuts randomly found around the place. One in the fridge, one time in the bed…in the bathroom, he told me she said “like are you trying to kill me?”

Very very suspicious ..

I really regret joining the property industry, I was brainwashed into thinking that it was really easy money, but the truth of the matter is, it’s the farthest thing from the truth.

Let me break it to everyone and anyone who has even a hint of interest in joining the property industry, don’t waste your time and money (yes, you will spend money before you earn), only the top 5% make money, the rest and struggling to survive.

Don’t give up a stable salaried career for this bulls-t.

For those who are considering joining the real estate industry as a real estate agent; PLEASE I urge u to think twice. Especially if you’re leaving a stable salaried job to do this.

Don’t be fooled by the posts of your friend posting their awards & fancy cars and crap on social media and think it’s so easy. It’s not.

Don’t get brainwashed by the managers who are trying to recruit you that it’s such good money and that you can also do it. They earn an overriding commission from their team members so of course the more the merrier. My team manager makes $30-60k a month alone on his team overriding commission; and that’s on top of his own sales. Don’t forget that these people are highly skilled salesmen who can sell ice to eskimos.

The reality is that only the TOP 1-5% of ALL agents make good money & the rest are barely making it. I am not exaggerating. The people in the Top 5% are making all the money.

If you’re not in the Top 5%, u can totally forget about it. There are over 30,000 agents in Singapore- u do the Maths.

In my first 2-3years, I burned through all my hard-earned savings on PropertyGuru credits (I think burned about 5k), various training courses (3k here and 6k there), various apps & misc expenses.

Besides PropertyGuru, there’s also EdgeProp & 99.co- also need to buy credits.

Another 20-30k burned on Facebook & Google Ads.

In this industry, you will burn a lot of money first (easily 20k or more in your first year) before u even make your first cent.

If you do not have at least 12 months of expenses saved PLUS min $20k for all these necessary expenses, don’t even consider it.

That’s not the worst part. Just because u burn money on PropertyGuru, Facebook & Google Ads doesn’t mean u will get genuine leads.

95% of all your leads are time wasters. They don’t respond when u contact them. Msg never reply. Or they will make an appointment with you & then never show up. A lot of people who fill up your lead form on Facebook are just bored and have no genuine intention to sell or buy property. Cold leads from online marketing are almost impossible to close. Most of them are just “look-see only”. I spent over $20k to learn this the hard way. Don’t be like me.

I cannot tell u how many times people have flown my plane. I travel down to the location and waited for an hour & the person never show up.

If you’re a woman, you’ll constantly get harassed by nuisance calls and texts by random male strangers. Because our contact number is readily available online, many men will think it’s okay to take your number and abuse it freely. Pretend to be a buyer interested to buy property, and then after wasting your time for hours, ask if you’re single.

Every day I will get at least one dodgy text or DM from some creepy anonymous male stranger on various platforms. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

This year after deducting expenses, not only did I not make any $$, I lost around $15-20k.

It’s sad to think that the people working in McD & cleaners actually earn more than me.

The truth is- You’ll HATE the job UNLESS you’re a natural salesman who genuinely loves interacting with people. The keywords are “GENUINELY LOVES”.

I am an introvert, I hate going out, I hate interacting with people in general and I suffer every day in this job.

So please take my advice. Don’t do it. It’s very painful & not as lucrative as many people think.

Most agents make around $50-100k a year? Might as well stick to a regular day job with CPF and benefits.

The real perk is the security of knowing u have a fixed paycheck coming in every month.

The dumbest thing one can do is leave a stable salaried job for this “job” where U actually have to pay money to do things U hate & talk to people u can’t stand, every day going around for viewing after viewing like a free tour guide. 

People don’t care about wasting your time, cos you’re just an agent.

Nobody will tell u this because frankly, those who are struggling won’t admit to anyone they’re struggling, and the few who are doing very well won’t understand why you’re struggling.

I just wish somebody had told me this years ago.

Disclaimer, before I begin I just wanna emphasize that this was a prim and proper, legitimate Thai massage parlour, with no hanky panky.

I wanted a good and proper massage because I was suffering from a sore back and for some reason I can’t seem to turn my neck or bend down to pick up things.

I have previously been to this particular outlet before and the owner had given me a wonderful massage. They only place a light cotton sheet over you as a drape.

Today I went and one of the other girls did my massage. I was not wearing anything face down and she was massaging my bum.

She ran her fingers up to just behind my balls and began pressing me there. I went from sleepy flaccid to wide awake and hard.

I lifted my butt up a little off the table just to see what she would do and she ran her hand right in and up to my front.

She did not touch my genitals but grazed my balls with her hand. It was so thrilling and unexpected and I suddenly realised I was about to come.

I had gone past the point of trying to suppress it and I couldn’t believe this had happened so fast. In that nanosecond I thought of just lying there but knew that it would be a decision I would soon regret.

I jumped off the table holding my offending member and catching a large handful of warm come. The poor masseuse was asking me was I alright and had she hurt me.

I had my back to her and was desperately looking for tissues. She came over and stood beside me and looked down at my hands that were still around my genitals.

She then understood what had happened and I apologised to her. I asked for some tissues and she left the room. I heard her talking to the owner and I wished I could disappear.

The girl returned with one small tissue that did nothing but become part of the mess. I had to ask for more and finally she brought back enough. I quickly cleaned up and got dressed.

The gushy tissues went in my pocket and I snuck out of the room. I gave the masseuse $50 and once again apologised to her and telling her I was embarrassed.

The owner was sitting near the front door watching me and I quickly left. Can I ever return to this massage parlour again or am I now considered a pervert?