Should non parents give ang pows to those with kids

Hi,

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we decided not to have kids. As the years went by, during Chinese New Year, my wife and I would give ang pows to our nieces and nephews.. My wife has a big family and many of her cousins have many kids ranging from 2-4 kids per cousin..

Every year as the number of kids being born in the family kept increasing and for years we kept giving ang pows.. A couple of years ago, we decided to get a dog and our dog has many medical problems and in SG, vet fees are not a joke.. We give our dog a good life coz to us he is like our kid..

However, now whenever Chinese New Year comes around, we feel like we have to spend a lot of money giving ang pows to our nieces and nephews but we don’t get anything in return.. of course we are not expecting an ang pow for our dog but for 10 years we have been giving so much ang pows and it’s gotten to the point that my wife and I no longer wants to celebrate Chinese New year with the family.. It’s not so much the money but the expectation the family has for people to give them an ang pow coz they have kids and even if I reduce what I’m giving, it’s money I could have used for my own dog or my family coz it still comes up to hundreds of dollars.. And also to add, it’s not like we are all close knit.. we hardly see each other unless there’s an occasion..

My best friends and their families actually give ang pows to those with no kids but have dogs coz they recognise that the dog is family to the couple and also has vet bills to pay.. it’s the gesture of giving and not the amount..

I feel that those without kids should not be asked to give an ang pow.. I feel those with kids should give to those who have kids..

Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? Should I just suck it up and continue the tradition? Any advise would help..

My fiancé is ugly without a bear

I’ve been with my fiancé (m24) for almost two years now. When I met him he had facial hair and was immediately attracted to him. If I was to rate him it’d probably be a 9/10.

Last week he messed up shaving, and TO not look “stupid” as he put, he decided to shave everything. This was the first time I’d ever seen him without facial hair. It was awful.

This beautiful man turned into someone else- and not in a good way. I didn’t really react because I do love him, but attraction is important and there’s none when he is hairless.

So now I just have to hope he never shaved again. Ugh.

Netizens’ comments

• Good thing beards grow back.

• It’s hard out there fellas

• I think it can be shocking at first for anyone. Especially if you are used to it. It’s pretty common for young kids to be scared if a parent changes a haircut or shaves a beard.

Just tell him you think he looks better with facial hair. That’s the nice thing about hair. Generally it grows back.

• You sound like those babies in Youtube who see their dad’s clean shaven face for the first time and cry hahahaha

I’m pregnant. The baby’s dad insists on doing a paternity test when the baby is out.

Tbh I feel quite insulted because I have never played, never strayed, but this is the amount of trust that’s given just because of his own insecurities.

I was so speechless and mad when I hear that I threatened if the result is out and he’s indeed the dad, he shall not have anything to do with the baby.

I know it’s ridiculous cos I’ll need the support in the end so it doesn’t work that way…How will you feel as the girl?

Share your thoughts, maybe it’ll make me feel better…

Netizens’ comments

• You are in the wrong. Your noticeable avoidance of using husband and wife terms indicates you are not married.You have the undeniable advantage as a woman of always knowing who your child is (hint, it comes out of you). He doesn’t.He is entitled to deny being the father unless you prove it with a paternity test. Fatherhood comes with heavy legal responsibilities. He is right to require the bare minimum of a paternity test.

• If the guy completely trusts you then he wouldn’t be making such a request. Could be because of your lifestyle or character that causes the lack of trust. He is entitled to the paternity test if you are not worth trusting. Do some self-reflection.

• You said “the baby’s dad”.
  Well are you married to this guy or in a committed exclusive relationship?
  He has every right to know if he is the biological father if you are expecting responsibility for the kid from him.
  Maybe he has his own concerns about how you got pregnant – you said insecurities, so find out what those are – maybe he has some medical condition that makes it hard for him to get a girl pregnant and somehow you got pregnant? Some other trust issues between you and him?

Some men are so pathetic.

Before you bash me, I’m talking about some, not all. Those who have been married for 5 to 10 years with kids in tow. When a woman pays you a little attention outside, have a normal conversation with you, you get all excited.

Are you for real?

You act like a caged animal who haven’t had S in years. Do you know how embarrassing you look? Have some self respect please. Just because I have to talk to you because of work doesn’t mean I’m open to sleeping with you. So gross. What did your wife see in you man? She must be blind.

And my eyes are attached to my face which is on my head. Not my chest wtf. Show some respect when you talk to a woman. How did you make it this far in life when you act like every woman is a possible f for you to bang man?

These kind of low grade men also can have a wife. Omg..I pity the women who are stuck with such perverts. Man is busy ogling at every woman that past by him while the wife and kids are right next to him. What a humiliating way to live a life.

Here are what netizens think:

• Lucky I’m married for the last 30 the odd years all gals like xiao mei mei to me

• You are writing this because the men who exhibited such behaviour toward you are mostly the ones you don’t find appealing. You are complaining not about their behaviour but because you realised you lack attention from the top tier men. The ones with looks and some accomplished statuses. Maybe these top tier men are not looking in your direction because you do not appear to be top tier to them either. What’s the moral of the story here, lady? It’s time to reflect. On yourself.

• is the same mah , if a guy wear a superman suit , the gals will auto look below too …. No meh ? Hahaha

• Maybe you didn’t stuff the tissue properly.? Happened to one of my colleague who excitedly saying everyone staring at her chest but we don’t have the heart to tell her one side big one side small

Everybody farts. And when you’re in a long term live-together relationship like us (24F & 27M) you should feel comfy enough to be free & what not. Sure!!

My problem is, my boyfriend is an actual child when it comes to farting. He thinks farts are so funny. It’s a whole thing when he lets one out.

Examples: if we’re sitting on the couch watching TV together, he’ll hike his knees to his chest & push with all his might, fart loudly & laugh it off.

If he’s walking around the house he’ll stop in his tracks, bend over, spread his legs, fart & look at me to laugh. Like a toddler. Always laughs & I think it’s because he knows it annoys me.

Comments like “omg did you hear that?” “That was a wet one.” huge, exaggerated sighs of pure joy “awwwww yeah” , etc etc.

I get very annoyed not only because the immaturity but because they smell so bad…putrid. I gag sometimes. I grew up with brothers & my farts don’t smell like roses so it’s not like I’m super sensitive to this kind of thing. It’s just THAT bad. My first concern honestly was his health but he’s fine.

So here’s the kicker… I often voice my concerns to him. Tell him to try to stop farting so much around me. In our 6 years together I continue to keep my farts to myself to the best of my ability. That’s me though, I don’t expect the same from him.

At the very least I ask him to be discreet & not make it into this huge ordeal every time. I can ignore it that way.

You wanna know what his solution was?? After every loud, ridiculous fart, now he’ll try to give me a kiss. I said NO. do not try to “reward me” with affection when you act like that. Do not associate your over the top flatulence & childish gimmicks with kissing me. It’s not cute or charming. It doesn’t make me less annoyed. Don’t do it.

This starts an argument. He tries to essentially gaslight me saying things like “wooow you don’t want to kiss me?” “I’m not doing that, I wanted to kiss you anyways.” Don’t BS me dude. It’s become a pattern now. I try to tell him, please just listen to me & understand that it bothers me. If you really think to kiss me right after your farts, then just wait a couple minutes?

He says no he won’t do it because I’m just being crazy. I snap & say how it REALLY makes me feel: “I’m not crazy, It’s disgusting. It’s not attractive. If you want me to be grossed out every time you kiss me, then fine, keep at it.”

This was last night in bed & he just went to sleep after I said that. This morning he tried feeling me up & I just got up and went to my laptop to start my workday. Not interested. It really has affected my attraction towards him lately & I didn’t want to say it straight up like that because it probably hurt his feelings.

He was not willing to even listen to me though so I felt like it was the only thing to do. I don’t want to end up resenting him or overall disgusted with him as a person. Maybe giving him that reality check will help. I don’t know. Can anyone relate??

My wife is in love with her best friend

Its a sombre realization for me, like its not real and at any point I will wake up and this nightmare will be over.

She has known this friend for around 10 years ( I am 32m, she is 34f, he is 36m and his wife is 33f). He is married too. But he and his wife visit us at least twice every year and they stay with us.

I am not best friends with him but I dont hate him. He was here with his wife, and left just a few hours ago and thats why I am making this post.

Last night all 4 of us were drinking and talking, they were reminiscing about past. It was at that point that he confessed that he had loved my wife from the moment they met but never dared to say it aloud for it could mean losing their friendship, so he just bit his tongue and chose to tolerate the pain of seeing her with others instead of cutting her out of his life, because he couldnt bear the thought of not seeing and talking to her.

He talked about imagining a day when she finally realizes that he is her true love and she gives him a chance finally. We were all shocked and my wife told him that it was very inappropriate and it was clear that they couldnt be friends anymore and its better that when he leaves he doesnt try to contact her anymore.

All this time his wife was just sitting there looking humiliated, I assume she either had some suspicions or she knew about his feelings for my wife.

When we went to bed I tried to lighten the mood by saying that it didnt turn out the way he expected and I noticed my wife was also crying and admitted that she also loved him. But she also loves me and could never leave me, or share or cheat on me, thats why she took the painful decision to cut him off.

By this point she was crying heavily so I took her in my arms and she slept cuddling me. But now I am not sure how to feel about it. They both love each other, so does it not make sense for me to move away from the middle? Will she be truly happy with me? She says that she has made her choice and she is happy and satisfied with it but somehow I am still troubled.

To the most annoying person on earth

My brother is in my opinion, very, very, annoying.

Too bad I just found it out this year. Maybe he’s too stressed at work. Last time, he used to be the most charming person on earth (like 10 years ago), but now, the most annoying for what he did.

He always annoys me, either by occupying my personal space (regardless of where it is), or by disturbing my friends or social circle, talking mainly nonsensical stuff, or impersonating my tone telling nonsense – which is just crazy considering his profession as a “MAD GENIUS” – who should (by right) be very pre-occupied with all the equations and theorems, etc.

How can someone like him be so boliao ah?

Both of us are usually normal in front of (MOST) other people but I donno now why we have to talk to each other like we both just came out from the institute of mad hippopotamus.

By now, he should have already known that I am still seriously mad (at him) for what he “geniusly”, or more like “crazily”, did. Seems like most geniuses are crazy (sometimes). Can’t help it.

Considering his “genius” status, how can he be so talkative and talk non-stop hah?

True or not true also cannot differentiate izzit? Ppl what kind of person you still donno?

If you can’t know a person’s true personality after decade(s) then I tell you what.. you might as well befriend all the glassware instead, or lightbulbs also can.

Besides, even if they not happy with what you say about them or do not agree with you, they’ll at most just bling or blink back at you. At least they won’t lecture you back like how I will.

Life would be much simpler that way for you, lalalalala.

BROTHER, to be frank, I am still mad at you, duh. Don’t you know what you did were very annoying? >-<

So please stop talking to me for at least a century, please la hah.

THANKS first ah.

Love ya and remember to eat your MADicine.

KISS,

Goodbye for awhile (if you can act normal at least, to not be so annoying to me)

Or Forever (if you can’t)

Finally, forgive me for being too frank here.

I seriously think I need some time away from you, as usual. Staying by your side is actually very unhealthy to me. I like people who are simple and straightforward.

Your mind is too complex whereas I strive to be as simple and grounded as possible, still, I often feel overwhelmed by the complexity of your thoughts. I think you should use your ingenuity in the right place like how to make your gf happy.

No point irritating each other anymore, how childish bro