Hello! me and my boyfriend were having an amazing day we spent the day together and then went on a movie date later in the night where we got a little drunk.

The day before we had been disagreeing and discussed that our relationship wasn’t working out, but that we wanted to keep trying.

Fast forward the next night were at the movies getting a little drunk and then head home to have some wild and rough intimacy.

We start f-ing and I’m super dehydrated since we hadn’t drank water the entire 3 hour movie. I asked to get water and he gave me a rude response implying he didn’t want me to get up.

So I powered through and we continued. He did a few things I disliked, spat in my face twice, pulled my hair so hard while in reverse cowgirl I fell backwards twice.

Then he started saying I was a bad girl that needed to be punished which I don’t mind (I’ve told him I want to be his little ho before just so you guys get a gist of what’s normal).

Then he flipped me over and told me bad girls like me get used immediately I told him to get off of me. Looking back I wish I didn’t since he was obviously drunk and is a mean drunk sometimes.

I really just don’t like the word “used” especially if it’s coming from my boyfriend of 2 years.

I asked him what I did that was so bad and he screamed at me telling me it’s just dirty talk since he was trying to turn himself on and I’m being stupid (oh and his hand can do a better job).

I don’t even remember what I said but I expressed I didn’t appreciate being told I was being used (this is my boyfriend of 2 years I want to feel loved in bed even if it’s rough not like a ho he found off the street).

He eventually freaked out and told me to leave his house so I got a taxi and left. He pleasured himself while I waited for my ride and then when I got in the car, he called me asking me why I left saying if I loved him I wouldn’t have left, I would have waited upstairs.

I feel bad but not sure what to do I really do love him but him being so drunk and aggressive was scaring me it seems like that’s how he thinks things should be in bed.

What exactly is up with places choosing to run on skeleton crews and management getting upset that things aren’t 100% complete?

At which point do you say “screw it” and quit and find other work?

At my company, people are getting let go left and right and management doesn’t seem to have the foresight to hire people as replacements before getting rid of someone.

Which means there are like 3 or 4 people running around trying to get everything done, which is unsustainable and leads to burn out.

Yet all they do is like that horse stuck in the mud meme: Have multiple managers go around and yell at people for not “moving faster”.

It makes no sense.

Netizens’ comments

1. This is the modern model. Executives want increases in profit. The easiest way to increase profit is to reduce costs. The easiest way to reduce costs is to cut payroll. At that point the whole process starts to fall apart because the executives don’t accept that enterprises need enough actual workers to do the work.
2. I blame this on unscrupulous restaurant managers (or higher ups) going into a different line of work. It’s been like that in hospitality for decades.
   Over hire for opening, start weeding people out by the first pay day, running things on skeleton crew to keep profits high, labor low, and act like the name of the business on your paycheck is a privilege that maybe you’re not good enough for.
3. A point I think a lot of people miss is that any sufficiently large business isn’t really in business to do the business they say they do. The stuff they make or sell is just there to justify the company’s stock price. They all put out the same D- effort because the service they provide isn’t the point.
4. When inflation causes the cost of business to go up, the money has to come from somewhere, and like many have mentioned, it’s usually the work force that takes the hit. The idea is that if you can manage to keep the business afloat through the recession that once it’s over you can revive the business with more work force and get it back up to standard.
5. But you can bet the upper management and ownership groups expect their pay to stay the same size through the whole process so workers like you become the sacrificial lamb.

My (30f) husband (38m) lied about the cost of my engagement ring

For background, my (30f) husband (38m) and I have been married for almost a decade. We got married on $20 sterling silver rings and have had them up to this point. I still love mine and had not been asking for a diamond ring.

On our anniversary this year, he surprised me with a diamond ring and said he had been setting aside cash for years to pay for it. He said he did end up putting some of it on a credit card that he opened with the jeweler, because he didn’t want me to be suspicious of a semi-large purchase.

So basically he says he paid for most of it in cash and some on card. He volunteered that it was a couple thousand dollars (I did not ask this info). I love the ring.

The issue is is that I found the receipt that says he paid $700 for the ring. All of it on the credit card. I immediately felt misled.

I asked him about it and asked if there was anything I was doing that made him feel like he had to lie about it. He immediately got defensive and dug deeper. Saying he paid for most of it in cash and that $700 is what was left over that he put on the card.

The receipt does not indicate that any part of the transaction was done in cash or that the total was more than $700. I looked up the item number on the receipt on their website and it says it’s a $700 ring.

It actually says it was originally $900 but is on clearance. He also lied about the carat size – though not significantly and I could even have chalked that up to him just messing it up on accident.

I guess I’m really second guessing myself here. He says he’ll have to “talk to them” about it to “prove” himself. I’m just heartbroken at what seems like such an obvious lie here.

Is there any chance l’m just not seeing things right? I feel like I need to call the jeweler myself so that he can’t gaslight me about any “conversation” they have but that seems so crazy and petty to me. Should I call the jeweler, drop it completely, or wait to see what my husband says next?

Feel like quitting my Job over dresscode.

I 25m work at a restaurant as a second job. Was sent home yesterday for my hair being a dark purple (can only really tell in some lighting) (that was approved by management before i even did it) . But I was told I cant return to work till I change my hair to a natural color.

I really have never been dresscoded as an adult and honestly it feels demeaning.im at work everyday early, do my job, and do everything to the best of my ability. But my hair is slightly purple. I don’t even wanna work at the place anyways.

This is just a rant. I feel like not even going back.

Netizens’ comments

1. feel like people are missing the “was approved by management” part! did the same manager approve and then disapprove? or is this a case of managers not communicating with each other?
2. One of my direct reports has pink hair. I lover her pink hair and don’t care that it isn’t a “natural color”. Corporate feels otherwise, and she can not have pink hair at work. So she wears wigs. They have to be “natural color” as well. So she has the most outrageous wigs she wears to work. Think 1700s powdered wig looking wig… genie topknot… etc. I love them and her for it! Her hair color has nothing to do with her work ethic or ability… it’s just silly.
3. Restaurant jobs are a dozen now. You could probably walk next door and be hired on the spot. Employers don’t hold the cards like they used to.
4. The fact your hair color had to be approved by management is in itself a red flag. You deserve better.
5. I’m sorry your amazing individuality is causing idiots to be crappy towards you and affecting your money. There are too many openings in the restaurant industry right now to have to deal with a hostile work environment, I wish you the absolute best.

My partner and I both were made redundant as soon as we started a mortgage

As the title states, my partner (26) and myself (27) just took out a mortgage… We’ve moved into the new place but haven’t even paid the first month yet and our workplace suddenly announced that we’re being made redundant due to outsourcing our roles to an overseas office as Labor will be much cheaper there.

We both work for the same company, but we work in different teams performing slightly different roles. Now we’re uncertain about how we’re going to proceed with paying off the mortgage since we’ve only been working here for less than 2 years each and our redundancy payouts are quite small.

We went right down to the bottom of the barrel to buy this house so savings are incredibly minimal. Does anyone have any advice or have you been in a similar situation?

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve been there. I went and signed my mortgage paperwork with a cardboard box in my car that was filled with my office stuff after being freshly fired from my job. They asked me if anything had changed and I lied and said no.
   Now, that was 25 years ago but my solution will probably be your solution – get another job asap. This will probably not be your favorite job ever but it will pay enough for your mortgage. It’s scary but you’ll do fine, you were both employed, you can get new jobs if you hustle. Best of luck!
2. If I were in your shoes I’d try to find anything to pay the bills and mortgage for the time being. I don’t really see what other option there is.
3. Sometimes you have to grind your way to the next position. There is no shame in this. It will make you stronger, and more appreciative of what you have.
4. I’m sorry this has happened OP, but this is why finance advice inevitably tells you to have an emergency fund in place prior to buying a house.
5. Secure any job you can get, deliver food if you have to, rework your resume and realize you have a new job…. finding a job.

I (33F) am too ‘smelly’ for my bf (41M)

After 1.5 years of dating, the initial great (and often!) physical intimacy has come to a dry barren desert land…my confidence has dried up with it. Think tumbleweeds and animal carcasses.

No kisses, no touching and no intercourse. I even tried reinventing myself over the last few months trying to figure out the secret to getting him to fancy me again.

After some extreme dieting and the finding a hard landing at rock bottom for my confidence, I decided to ask him straight. “I got the ‘ick’ as you smelt a bit under your arms a few times when we were f-ing so I don’t want to do it anymore”.

I’ve never been told I smell, quite the opposite actually from friends…and strangers.

New insecurity unlocked.

I can’t see a strong relationship coming from no affection.

What do I do now?

Netizens’ comments

1. I once read a story in here about a young man who was advised to tell his girlfriend she smelled. This would assure she was paranoid about her hygiene and would become insecure about it.
   He wanted her to believe that no one else would want her. If I remember correctly, it was his own father that gave him this “advice”. So disgusting
2. Break up. It’s not even the smell thing, it’s that instead of communicating that you had a little BO so you could shower/clean up and get back to a healthy relationship, he just kept quiet and then withheld all affection until you broke and asked why. That’s a stupid way of him to handle a really minor concern.
3. BO can be a serious turnoff, but if this was never an issue with anyone but him (and nothing has changed health or hygiene wise) this is a him problem.