I just ended a 2006 days relationship with someone I was planning to propose to. It hurts but I know the correct advice is to move on.

I still remember the day I first saw her, our first date, the first time we held hands. The bits and pieces of us we leave behind in our rooms or belongings. All these memories are now reduced to objects.

How does one move on from this when one gets blindsided by it? When they are told it would be better and healthier for them to move on. When they know their partner is already contemplating on pursuing something with someone else.

Is it my fault that I took too long before proposing? Or that I thought we could go through anything as long as we stand by each other?

My friends tell me to not lose confidence in myself and that she just decided she wanted something else. Sound advice though a tough pill to swallow.

I believe nothing would change her mind anymore but I hope this reaches her since she might come across this.

I would like to wish you the best in life and thank you for all these years. I’ve loved you deeply and might always have a little place in my soul reserved for you. Be happy with whoever you end up with.

061230 JL^2

Here are what netizens think:

• The OP needs to understand some facts. Focus on your career and the women will come. A man who is successful in his career and takes responsibility on his own health and fitness is attractive to women. She decided to pursue someone else because she can’t see any future in you. Nothing about proposal in specific. If she sees a future, she won’t mind waiting for that. And this future is usually the fundamental male achievement like the ones i mentioned. And on the other hand, you are right that a Good girl will go through thick and thin with you. So seeing through her predilections early will save you a massive load of heartbreaks in future. Welcome to singlehood; The state better than being with the wrong person.

• 5 year plus and still nothing changed in the relationship. Planning to propose and actually proposing are 2 different things. You got too comfortable and had been ignoring the signs that’s why you think you are blindsided. The next relationship you will likely propose sooner than you are ready for. So be mindful of that.

I’ve been dating this sweet guy for a few months and today while we were getting intimate he was looking into my eyes and I just got so emotional and overwhelmed and started crying and he was all like “are you okay? Did you remember something bad?”

And I tried to explain that everything is fine, and told him that I’m just not used to being treated so gently and carefully, and how new it is to me to have a physical relationship while also forming an emotional bond with someone.

My past is kinda complicated, and while I won’t go into detail, I will say it has affected me and I’ve been healing and working on myself for the last year.

nd when I met this guy I told him I’m not ready for a serious relationship because I still don’t feel whole as a person, but one thing led to another and now I have this amazing, supportive and understanding partner.

My approach towards love and emotions has always been cynical due to my upbringing and other reasons, and it’s difficult as fuck to truly open up to someone, and it’s scary but freeing.

So right now I’m in his bathroom while he waits for me in bed, in two days we’re going to celebrate my birthday and I think I’m starting to really love him.

I just wanted to let this off my chest.

Yesterday, and while I was about to do the laundry, I grabbed his work pants and dug my hand in its pockets to empty them before putting it in the washing machine like I always do. People that look the laundry will know what happens if there is tissue paper.

My husband just happened to walk by when he saw me searching his pants pockets. He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down.

I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it and then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn’t be getting my hands on his things. I was genuinely dumbfounded I told him to take it easy I always do this before laundry.

He lashed out saying I had no right and should’ve come to him and asked him first because he was worried about important documents getting lost like the one I pulled out. I said important documents shouldn’t be inside his pockets and asked to see the paper but he said he won’t show me. I asked why and he said I don’t get to ask him after I disrespected his privacy.

I almost laughed because what privacy does he have in his pockets? It wasn’t like a stranger was digging into them.

He refused to speak to me and later brought a new closet with A LOCK and moved his clothes inside of it. I asked if he was serious and he said this will teach me to respect his privacy and deter my snooping. Then went back to not speaking to me.

I’m genuinely confused

Here are what netizens think:

• Checking pockets for things that don’t go in the washer is one of the first steps of laundry, it’s not snooping. That’s a really weird reaction.

• Confirm something fishy going on, sure is cheating

• Maybe got receipt from expensive restaurant with ANOTHER GIRL

A degree graduate recently shared on social media about the difficulty of getting a job without any experience. Which made the graduate think if the “piece of paper” is worth it.

Here is the story:

We all know that studying for a degree is not cheap for both public and private schools. Some courses can even go to almost 6 figures. But is it really worth it?

I recently finished my Bachelor’s program and I have been job hunting for several months with zero responses. I am not picky at all, I applied for jobs that are above $2,000 which is not something of a high standard

I am not from a rich family, but my family has always been against me going for part-time jobs which resulted in me having zero job experience records in my resume. The only job experience I have is an internship that is pretty much useless.

What I want to bring across is that degrees are not as valuable compared to my parent’s time. Back in the 80s, a diploma was a big deal and my mom managed to get a job as a bank manager.

But in current times, a local degree also can’t get a job and a private one is even worse.

So my question is… Is it worth it to get into debt in order to get a degree?

Here are what netizens think:

The degree has always been a piece of “backup” nothing special.

Try applying for Govt job if you have a local degree, chances are they will take you.

You are right, in this day and age a degree is nothing more than a piece of paper. Job experiences are for the win.

How much do you guys typically spend on a weekend trip to Japan? Total expenses. I see a lot of young couples my age traveling and I can never convince myself to part with spending more than $1000 over a weekend even though I make six-figures in tech.

Perhaps also an out-of-line question, do you guys not worry about your retirement? Like since I was in my first year of uni I had dreams of retiring at the age of 40-45. I’m saving every cent that I don’t absolutely have to spend and still it seems like I’m not saving enough. But then I see my peers going to Japan one weekend, Korea another, and then Europe. I am 28 and I just hit 6 figures last year. Am I behind in income for my age?

How much of your disposable do you typically end up saving per year? I save around 50% of my after tax income last year. My parents saved a much higher percentage when they were still working. Do people just not save?

Follow up question: I am saving up for my first rental property. Is this a goal of every young person or are there far better stores of wealth that I’m not aware of?

Here are what netizens think:

• Money is only yours if you can spend it…….no point saving up when you’re not sure when you’ll leave earth….have some fun enjoy life a bit …. work so hard dont enjoy whats the point of living…

• There needs to be a balance. Whilst planning for retirement is important, i do believe that living a reasonably enjoyable life (and not scrimping on this and that) is also key. What if we’re hit by a car or diagnosed with a debilitating illness tomorrow? Wouldn’t we regret not having enjoyed life a bit? Retirement saving is to insure us against outliving our savings, but enjoying life is to insure against a short life spent in misery.

• Practice FIRE. I enjoyed life & spent every single cent & never thought about marriage until mid 30’s then I started saving. Now retired or semi retired I would say, embark on a job to just earn enough to cover expenses …no more stress.

On the outside i am a stoic guy,when I’m home alone i crossdress… I identify as a cis male,but i love watching myself acting like a girl in the mirror.

When i dont have uni class/come back earlier and i have some time before work,i love to put on a bra and look at myself in the mirror.

I love to rub my “chests” under my shirt and occasionally will strut around while accentuating my backside and hips.

Last week i took my pants off and wore an oversized hoodie like girls do sometimes and i posed in front of the mirror.

I dont look much like a woman still (too tall/hairy i think lol) but it just turns me ON.

Next week I think I’m gonna try wearing heels and maybe panties too.I can’t wait. Use this story as a reminder that you don’t really know anyone lol, cuz anyone I know probably doesn’t think I’d do this. Aren’t humans amazing?

Thank you for reading.

Netizens’ comments

• Im the same but reverse lol. I love dressing to be a guy as a cis female. Tbh only reason I work out is to look more masculine haha. Experimenting with my gender a few times and came to the consensus im (likely) cisgender but just like crossdressing. Do whatever makes ya happy

• I’m the same way man. They’re just clothes. Think of how fortunate we are to have been born in a time where it’s so much more accepted now.

Am i wrong to arrange for an adults only house warming party?

We just moved into our new place and both my spouse and I have no children at the moment. We love kids and will let nature takes its course as we dont want to stress ourself too much on the topic of having a child.

Friends are asking us when would out house warming be and we will be planning for one. My wife and I love kids but personally i feel that our home isnt child friendly and child proof and with that, i may prefer to have an adults only housewarming session. But my spouse thinks likewise… she feels that it is fine for the friends’ kids to be around..

Actually through my experiences with the friends’ kids in past events… they were really active and behaved just as how kids would that went beyond my imagination; drew on the walls, broke stuffs, drew on cabinets, jumped on bed etc.

All these caused me great anxiety. I am really worried that some of the luxury displays and items that i bought could go broken when the kids are here, creating mayhem.

Am i wrong to have such thoughts that concluded in having an adults only housewarming session?

Here are what netizens think:

• Your house. Your rules. As far as myself goes, I’d opt for an adults-only housewarming too. You either open yourself up to the risk of having all the disasters happen or you cut that risk out totally. Also. You are not beholden to anyone to have their whole family along. I’m sure those friends who are understanding would see it.

• Your house your rules but you probably have more declining the invitations. But your invitation may need to state it politically correct, don’t mention like “kids are not allowed”.. some sensitive friends may read it wrongly. All the best

• Just make sure you don’t write ‘Adult House Warming’ on the invite. Or worse, ‘House Warming – Adults Only’.