I found out that my husband has been cheating on me but he doesn’t know that I know, yet.

I was bored at 2am one night and decided to go on my husbands phone out of boredom while he was asleep. I expected to just see cute photos he took of our family and things like that but ended up finding out he’s been cheating on me for 11 months

It’s insane because he acts normal like nothing changed. Still looks at me in the eyes everyday like everything’s great and nothing happened so I didn’t expect this at all. Last thing I would think to happen and I wouldn’t even have found out unless if I checked his phone

I know people are against going through spouses phones and now sometimes I wish I knew earlier, sometimes I wish I didn’t check at all so I wouldn’t know

What I found out on his phone:

1. met a 22 year old Viet woman he was chatting up with at a pub. They exchange photos. He sent her money to meet him on another date. They also been f-ing at her dorm.
2. I found out he thinks I’m ugly and he hates my “mom belly” I didn’t even know he thought I was unattractive and fat because we still f and he still tells me I’m beautiful. Wow so two faced
3. I saw his social media accounts where he comments on and leaves thirsty comments on other women’s photos and sometimes he messages these girls validating their beautiful looks

This just is so disappointing in all levels. We have 2 small kids. I don’t want to divorce him. I still love him. I don’t wanna separate our family. I want to stay. I can’t compete with every man wanting a young 20 something girl. I have kids and I let myself go and I spent most of my life with this man

He doesn’t know I know about this. I just don’t know where to start since I still plan to stay with him. Im trying hard to forget what I saw but it’s been a week now and Im having nightmares about this woman and my husband

Edit to add: of course SHE (the other woman) knows he’s married. They talk about me in their messages. She just doesn’t care he’s married with kids. She’s clearly just having fun…

My 28f husband 28m told me he’s been trying to get me to leave him for years

My husband 28m and I 28F have been married nine years. We have a handful of kids together. Today we were bickering and he called me a c-t and told me that he’s been trying to get me to break up with him for years.

This made me really sad and question why he wouldn’t just break up with me if he felt this way.

But he continued to tell me that he’s been trying to get me to leave him. I don’t understand. If he’s unhappy why can’t he leave the relationship?

He constantly calls me names and honestly doesn’t treat me the best. It’s not a surprise that he doesn’t want to be with me.

I just don’t understand why he would rather stay with me and be miserable and treat me with such disrespect when he could easily just divorce me and be happy.

Netizens’ comments

1. In my opinion, he doesn’t want to take the blame for a failed marriage. He wants to be able to say that you left him for no reason and the divorce is your fault.
2. Its a tactic.
   its a twisted way to excuse his behaviour and kind of victim blame – it makes it sound like YOU’VE done something wrong (not leaving him – how is that for mental gymnastics)
   Basically when someone wants to mistreat you AND claims all the victimhood in the world and YET maintains the relationship this is a giveaway for an toxic relationship
3. If he initiates the split, it makes him the bad guy. If he can get you to leave him, he gets to play the victim. He’s sounds narcissistic. Don’t waste anymore of your life with this man, he’s not mentally well.

So my girlfriend doesn’t want me to have a job.

As a student from a low-income family, I need money to pay my bills. I have thousands of debts that need to be paid ASAP.

My girlfriend says that I might find a pretty girl at work, and therefore she’s crying and trying to deter me from finding a job.

She said she rather I be in prison than at school or work because at least there are no women in men’s prison.

I’m so annoyed.

Netizens’ comments

1. Run away bro, she’s a psychopath.
2. Umm your girlfriend sounds insecure and possessive. That’s toxic. Your partner should be supportive and want you to do better. Not hold you back. You should find someone else.
3. What a freak. This is extremely toxic and narcissistic behavior. If I were you, I’d stop being in such a shit relationship and focus on my livelihood and bills.
4. Please cut ties with her OP. That’s insane behavior. She’s trying to isolate you, which is alarming imo. Good luck OP!
5. She sounds manipulative and controlling. Ask her to cover all your expenses for you so you don’t have to work and when she says no tell her how goofy she sounds then and dump her. She sounds like she will hold you back your entire life and you seem like you have aspirations. Get rid of her ASAP, please.
6. This is very insecure, immature, and unrealistic. Might be time to reevaluate the relationship
7. That’s the weirdest thing ever, if I was that worried about a man that he would find another woman at work and cheat on me then I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him because he clearly isn’t trustworthy
8. Your ex girlfriend didn’t want you to be able to physically survive because she was quite literally crazy-controlling. So you found a job and became single yay!

My boyfriend threw a tantrum when I couldn’t finish in bed.

(For context, him and I have been together for almost 6 years) My bf (21) and I (19f) were about to f in bed. I teased him all morning because I had freshly shaved the night before and I know he loves when i am all smooth and soft. He told me to go shower and we would get down to it.

I come out of the shower, he goes to the bedroom and we start kissing on the bed. He takes off his pants, I take off my hoodie and we make out like that for about 5 minutes while I rub him through his underwear.

He knows I love rubbing myself down there so he flips me on my back and starts rubbing it.

I was sort of nervous because I know for a fact I was not wet enough. Anyway. He starts rubbing me but not the way I like it at all.

He’s rubbing it all over the place, almost like a dj and as soon as I start moaning louder, he starts rubbing super hard.

I’m obviously not wet enough. He sees it doesn’t work so he starts using his mouth on my bewbs. We’re getting there. I like it, but everytime I like it, he rubs faster and harder.

At some point I’m like okay, I can’t finish, why isn’t he just f-ing me instead, he never usually insists that I finish before we f, it’s always after.

I whispered in his ear “just f me daddy I don’t think I can finish” twice but he says no. Keeps going, I say “just f my mouth”, no again.

Couples minutes pass by and honestly at this point my v just gets numb. He starts getting angry and grabs my hair agressively while sighing.

At this point I’m just scared because I know it’s not aggression to turn HES just genuinely angry.

At some point he just stops. I tell him to just f me, I can’t come.

He gets super frustrated, starts going on a rant about how I’m the problem, he’s rubbing it just like I usually love, now he’s turned off, he hates doing this and is never doing it again.

I’m like, well, if you wanna take it that way, no you were not rubbing it like usual, you rubbed super harsh and fast and I told you that I don’t like it.

Still laying on my chest, he starts talking about how he “f-ing hates me”, all women are different and it’s clearly an emotional issue because of whatever reason.

Then he goes “and you can’t be like the other girls, you have to take like f-ing 28 minutes to come, your c-t’s too big and you reject me all the time.” “Now I can’t f you im just too angry you completely turned me off”.

Fight starts, I will not tolerate him shaming my body when he knows it’s one of my insecurities. I tell him to get off of me. He says he’s not moving. Keeps talking about how he hates me and will never do this again.

Finally he moves and tells me to do it myself. I say no, you turned me off completely with your tantrum. He says “good, you deserve it”.

I got off the bed while he’s still saying that he hates me and I told him that he’s a child.

Basically, wtf? Am I in the wrong? Wtf is wrong with him

Can an employer just take your leave away?

I applied for leave to go overseas on holiday. My employer denied this leave saying it was unapproved despite it being filed in advance of the recommended 3 weeks prior to leaving period.

When I asked what happens to the leave that was unapproved (do I get it back? Can I use it to apply again?) they said it was gone.

Obviously, this is suspicious behavior at best and it feels to me that this is possibly illegal. I couldn’t find anything about this specifically on MOM’s website, though.

Is this legal? Can they just vanish my leaves?

Netizens’ comments

1. What rubbish, not approved not taken how to count as consumed. Mfers cheating u of paid days
2. No. You are entitled to a minimum amount of leave per year by law if you have worked for more than 3 months.
   Also, your contract will entitle you to XX number of days of leave per year. No such thing as you apply, it’s rejected, it vanished.
   Clarify with your HR (if there is a HR in your company), if not write an email to your boss
3. they can reject your leave application, but rejected it means your leave is still with you.
   Please file a complain to HR and MOM
4. If it is denied then it is not consumed right? If your leave days drop but you never consumed it because it was not approved then this is wrong.
5. Send email n get them to respond on black n white. If they dare to reply with the same thing, you can use it and log a report with MOM. But likely they will ignore your email and come scold you instead
6. not legal. threaten to complain to MOM. cfm chop SME with a super stingy boss showing off his second-hand entry level rolex at the expense of his worker.
7. Check with your HR, if the reply is not satisfactory then go to MOM. They can’t really remove your leave if you didn’t use them.

Would guys judge a 27 year old woman who hasn’t been active in the bedroom for four years? Feeling too embarrassed to even attempt to end this dry spell

For context I’m not asking about women who are inexperienced- I was very active in bed with committed partners before this, and really loved that nasty side of me.

After one too many heartbreaks/traumatic events I think I closed myself off entirely, and wouldn’t even know how to begin dating etc.

I’ve always been told that “so many guys would be interested” but i cannot even remember the last time a guy checked me out or hit on me, and I feel so pathetic.

FINALLY I want to flirt and date and f around with men but I’m scared of rejection and just shut down the possibility right away.

My main question is, do guys judge women for having long (very long) dry spells?

I feel like we see it in media being joked about as an embarrassing problem for men, while women are portrayed to constantly have men interested in sleeping with them.

It’s really taken a hit to my ego, but l’m posting here asking for honesty! Thank you

So my question is, would guys judge an experienced woman for not having any action for 4 years? Or think something is wrong with her?

Netizens’ comments

1. Maybe some would but I don’t think it should be anyone’s business. Why would it be anyone’s business whatever u want to do with urself
2. I went from 27 to 35 without it. Recently started f-ing again a few months ago with someone that works in the same factory as me.
   I was also kinda nervous but I let him know it had been 8 years (we had talked about a week or two prior to us hooking up cos I didn’t want anything to be a surprise.) Hands down, one of the best times ever.
   Only reason it wasn’t the best is cos we’ve met up a few more times since then and it’s only gotten better.