I acknowledge, as a father and husband, that a lot of things that were singularly mine before just aren’t. My wife steals my clothes, wife and kids steal my food, kids steal my phone, I’m fine with it (most of the time), but I just needed one thing to myself without hurting feelings and making someone cry because everybody is sensitive in this house….including me.

Sometimes I just want to be at a quiet place to enjoy some food but the thing is i never get my peace. Even with something as basic as eating I get disturbed all the time.

I bought a single-serve piece of cake and ate it in my car without any wife sneaking bits or kids licking the chocolate from the top. Unfortunately got caught, wife is upset with me for going so far as to eat cake while hiding in my car and called me dramatic when I told her my reasoning.

But she won’t listen and call me selfish. The thing is, I just wanted to eat something sweet to escape from the stress of life in a peaceful place.

Am I?

Here is what netizen thinks:

• rookie mistake. Next time, eat it in the parking lot of where you bought it and use the outside trash can to throw away the evidence.

Source: My ex tried to eat everything I bought.

• If it’s McDonald’s, also carry Febreeze. My ex was so weird with food. I remember us eating dinner one night and he cleared the table and I caught him scraping my scraps on my plate with his fingers to eat.
  
• get her a piece too. But eat yours privately.
  
• This is what I do. I’ve also gone and picked up food and drive to the beach and just sat there to eat in peace, with only water and no people.

Im 19 have a roommate “Kayla” of the same age, we have been roommates for almost 1 year. we have always had this shared refrigerator situation going on where we alternate every week or two on who buys the groceries, cleaning supplies, etc. But we don’t cook for each other. (very important to the story)

Well, 6months ago Kayla got a boyfriend, “Jack” (21m) who has been spending a lot of time in our flat. He would leave his mess every and when I say everywhere I really mean it. He would leave his clothes on the bathroom floor and living room floor, but the biggest issue was he would eat everything, even the things that were strictly mine i.e leftover takeout, dinners that I cooked for myself.

I’ve talked with my roommate about this multiple times and she said she would talk to him but it doesn’t really seem like she even tries to talk to him. which seems like she is enabling him to continue this behavior.

Here’s where the incident happened. Two nights ago I made myself some dinner, I was following this recipe and I was making fried chicken that had some sort of sauce that contained honey in it. ( also very important to the story). Neither I nor my roommate has any sort of allergy so I didn’t say anything to her when I made it or when I put my leftovers in Tupperware and in the fridge.

well, yesterday I got back home from work, and my roommate wasn’t home. I didn’t question it and moved on with my day. A few hours later I heard the front door open, and a few moments later my roommate enters my room and just starts yelling at me say I could’ve killed her boyfriend and how I am irresponsible, and how dare I put my food in the fridge unlabeled when her boyfriend is allergic to honey. But here’s the thing I didn’t know he was allergic to honey.

I tried explaining to her that I simply didn’t know of her boyfriend’s allergy and he should’ve never been touching my food knowing he has an allergy and could potentially be put himself in harm’s way, which he did in this situation. I also mentioned that I told her to tell him not to touch my food and she blew up on me even more saying that I am dismissing her feelings and I mentioned that she’s been dismissing mine ever since he got here. we ended the argument with me yelling at her that I’m not responsible for his allergies and she should’ve never brought him around the apartment.

I told my friend about what happened and she told that even though he was in the wrong for basically stealing my food, I should’ve never said that to my roommate because she was in a stressful situation where a loved one could’ve died now I feel bad and think I might’ve been in the wrong.

my fault?

Here is what netizens think:

• The bf own fault . If the bf is allergic, he should not eat anything without knowing what’s in. I would label everything I make as containing honey. His fault if he gets sick.

• He doesn’t know the ingredients yet he felt comfortable eating it. This is not your fault, it’s clearly his.

• It does not matter what his reasons are, or her reasons. He’s there, and he’s not supposed to be. Tell her they need to find a sublet roommate for you, who is acceptable to you, and get their own place. If I was your landlord, I’d be kicking him out.

If you’re a parent and you have loose morals, don’t ever tell your children about it when they are still young.

What you say, matters, and can be remembered for life.

My parents divorced when I was in primary school. I remember it came to a point that they were always arguing and sometimes the police gets involved. Looking back, I realise they are 2 very toxic individuals. My dad was very vulgar with a colorful language and when he drives, he always get angry and jerk the car forcefully to scold other drivers. I can’t remember the number of times my face has smacked or has squashed to the back of the front seat. My mother likes to slap, cane, without saying a word. Sometimes I really have no idea what I did wrong. She don’t allow me to speak. She is also bias. She favors boys.

I think I was lucky that I was able still able to cope and pass each year. My younger sibling, lost interest in studies and fail year after year. Our oldest sibling, totally shut down and started to treat the home like a hotel. I almost never see him. I think all of us have very low self esteem.

After the divorce, we all have to stay with my mother. Since she works, we are often left alone which I am glad. Because when she is around she will get angry and scream at us, mainly at me and my younger sibling, throw things at us. Curse us for being born. Say Because of us, she got no freedom. She have mini screaming matches every week while she will do a huge screaming fest every 2,3 months until the entire row 4,5 blocks also can hear. It’s very stressful being around her because you don’t know when she will get triggered. We have no right to our things she will use and throw without any regard for our feelings. If she didn’t like my storybook title, my stickerbook, she just throw. If there is a letter for me, she just open and read. If she saw my diary on my bed, she will read it and mock what I’ve written inside. I don’t feel like I matter in her eyes.

When I’m in my teenage years. She forbid me to go out with friends so I don’t have much friends and I got kicked out of my clique because I was never able to go out with them. She call me a prostitute for experimenting with make up. I was getting pretty fed up with her abuse. So I start to ignore her. If I spoke up I would get slapped so I got used to being quiet. Once she wanted to get a reaction out of me and repeatedly slap me until I hyperventile. She accused me of taking drugs and repeatedly shook me to agitate me more. She only stopped after my eldest sibling stood forward and intervened to give me medical attention. After that she exclaimed, so now I cannot slap you hor. But she never hit me again after that. I think it’s also because my brother threatened her not to.

During semester breaks she would ask me to join her on whatever job she is doing. She doesn’t stay in a job for long. So all those non permanent jobs, a teenager like me, was able to join her. She fooled me several times. She wanted me to work together with her so she can draw 2 salary. This one time, the job pays well for 1 month, I was excited and thought this time I can get myself something nice, she took my entire salary for my brother’s school fees instead. I did willingly gave her all my pay. But I didn’t like it that she lied to me about it and I feel she did not love me as her child at all because I am a girl. She always reminded me that she hated me the most out of the 3 of us because I look the most like my father. She also curse me when I have a daughter, I shall be hated for being ‘unfilial’ to her now.

My dad died sometime after the divorce and we have always been distant so I did not have a close enough relationship to cry over him that much.

She fall out with all the relatives because of her temper and we have no close contact with them. She don’t have long term friends. No one is good enough to be her friend. She made us her everything and it’s suffocating at times.

Over time, my mother started to date men. She told me, because she got children, it is our fault that no men want her. That’s why she have to settle for married men who are bored with their wives to feel shiok. She told me this when I was around 12,13. It was an insignificant statement at that time which I did not anticipate would make me feel furious to remember it 2 decades later.

When I start to date after school, no guy is good enough in her eyes. She would insult my bf when I come home. She made my brother’s wife life hell when they just had a child. She would visit them and come home raging at us things that she was angry with. Instead of telling my brother upfront, she’d come back scream at me. I got married a few years later and she accused me of anyhow marrying anyone to get out of the house. When I moved out I know my youngest sibling will get all the abuse.

I try to put up a front for my children so they can have a relationship with grandma because I refuse to let history repeat itself. I don’t want my children to grow up without any family/relative ties like me. So I tolerate her nonsense. When she start to speak in a toxic manner I try to change the topic so my children won’t have to listen to it. I try to speak lovingly about grandma to the children and also video call her more since we don’t visit so often due to covid.

Because I was used to being quiet when there are difficulties, and also used to being distant at home, I did not realise this is bad for a marriage. And did not sense something was going wrong with my husband. My husband got entangled with another woman. He did break up with the 3rd party but damage is already done. Remembering what my mother said to me about feeling shiok to be with married men triggered me. I wished I b*tch slap her to hell that time for having the audacity to be so proud for being a sl*t. I also felt that I am getting the karma for what she did in the past.

I know I will sure get slammed.

I wish she gets the hell out of my life so I don’t need to pretend anymore.

‘

My son has significant disabilities, and I hate that this is my life
Before I begin you should know that I love my child unconditionally. He is so smart in his own way, and has a generous heart. I know this.

But I also, sometimes… okay, a lot of the time, hate that this is my life.

I hate the looks we get. When someone asks him a question then awkwardly realizes he can’t respond. When he has a major, hysterical meltdown in a store and I have to sing and rock him on the floor until he calms down. When other kids realize he isn’t as “normal” as he looks…

I hate that he will probably never have a real friend. That I will have to fight for him to be included in everything. That his birthday parties will likely be adults/family only.

I hate not being able to go to church without making sure they have an adult with training to be with him. I hate how hard it is to find adults to be with him. And that I have to be the one to train them.

I hate that he will be my only child. I don’t know that I can handle a second child with disabilities… and it’s not fair to him if we bring a neurotypical child into the mix. It’s not fair to the other child either.

I hate that he has to be watched 24/7. I never get anything done because I am exhausted from keeping him safe while trying to give him room to grow and learn.

I hate the appointments, the juggling of specialists and primary care doctors and trying to remember who needs to be told what. I hate having to sign a kajillion disclosures to share information, and I hate that even my husband has to ask me what all kiddo has going on.

I hate that he hurts me. Yes, I understand the reasons: trauma and development and delayed attachment and frustration. But I hate that my baby boy, my darling child, regularly kicks and hits and bites and scratches me.

I hate saying, “Kind hands, please.”

I hate how much I rely on his tablet to occupy him.

I hate when people say it’s just a phase. Or all boys/kids do that. It’s not true, and they know it. But no one is comfortable enough to say, “that sounds like it sucks.” Which is what I really want.

I hate that being away from him takes so much planning and money. That we can’t hire just anyone to watch him. It has to be an adult with training, or a respite provider (which is impossible to get), or a rare, understanding friend. Or my husband.

Most of all, I hate that I hate any part of being his mommy. Because I always wanted to be a mom. And when we found out we couldn’t have biological children, I was so happy my husband agreed to adopt. I knew it would be hard. I knew it meant raising a child with disabilities and trauma. And I worked my ass off to prepare for it.

And I hate that our society is the kind of place where parents like me can’t be raw and open. Because I already know some of you are judging me, or calling me a snowflake, or passing by this post because this sliver of my reality is too much for you to bear on top of your own stuff.

But I had to say it. Had to let it out because it’s too hard to carry around on top of all the other shit I have to carry every single day.

I was kicked out of the house after a fight with my parents, so for 6 months I sold my body as a prostitute, to get money, to get somewhere to sleep for a night, even to get a shower. It was the worst time of my life.

I’m a man and as a male you would think wow that’s awesome you scored so much. The complete opposite in fact every day I would see myself in the mirror and cry thinking I’m not capable of love, or even getting on my own two feet.

I thought to myself I cannot afford some food for the night let alone to fall in love. Having intimate experiences with someone you do not love is the most horrible feeling ever.

I don’t know about anyone else but I feel like I was somehow torturing myself. It was the hardest, most demeaning, most heart reneging thing I have ever done.

I still have problems with self-esteem because of this, so when my gf wants to get intimate. I usually have to convince myself that she wants me for me and nothing else.

Overall an 8 hour process. So I’ve decided to tell some of my friends who I don’t feel will judge me who may not know.

Netizens’ comments

• You’re so young, I want you to know that you’re not alone in this.

I am 31F, I prostituted myself for 3 years because I didn’t think I could survive financially in my own. I did what I felt I had to do to survive! Just please don’t hold onto shame and know that there are amazing people who will love you for you! They are flawed and may want intimacy sometimes but they can still love you and want the best for you. I just know it can be triggering. 

• I’m so sorry you had to go through this. But from my perspective, I do not see someone unworthy of love. I see someone driven to desperation, who did what he had to do to survive. I see someone who wanted to live so badly he was willing to sacrifice so much just for a chance. That is SO worth loving. I’m glad things have gotten better and glad you have a girlfriend who will remind you how awesome you are and how deserving of affection.

I feel like I’m crazy because I feel so attracted to people ALL THE TIME. I’m a 31 year old woman but I feel like I have the drive and desires of a teenage boy.

Ok, so it’s not everyone – but I feel like I fall in love with strangers 5x a day. Men, women, young, old, hot, weird looking, I just lust after people constantly.

Any series I’m watching I’ll fancy at least 1 character. I take a walk and see at least 1 or 2 people that I actively lust after and imagine sleeping with.

I don’t feel like everyone else is walking around feeling like this? Is it normal? When it comes to partners, I’ve always had standards and have never got myself into unsafe situations or been with people I regret.

I’ve made great choices generally. I’m not reckless with it – but my inner world is WILD.

I don’t think anyone realises how intensely I’m lusting after people on an almost constant basis. Everyone is so freaking beautiful and I just wanna bone everyone.

Netizen’s comments

• Not every woman I meet but if any off them show me any positive attention I start to develop feelings, I’m very lonely haha

• I feel like you’re not in love with strangers as much as you’re in love with your thoughts about those strangers, if that makes sense. Nothing wrong with fantasizing

Everyone has trauma. You’re not special. Grow up.

I’m sick and tired of people nowadays overexaggerated their bad experience and keep calling it “trauma” and use it as an excuse to be such a huge inconvenience to other people’s life.

You can’t change the past. Bad things happened, just learn from it and move on. Stop asking the same “why me” question. You don’t need to get all those questions answered at all. Learn to let go of it. You have so much opportunities to rise and stand up after every fall. So quit bitching about your “trauma”. Quit bitching about not being able to grow. You can. To choose not to. You created your own prison. You have the key. I mean fuck, the prison isn’t even lock, you can just leave. But you choose to stay.

Yes, the you don’t deserve to go through such horrible things. But if you choose to live in the past, not growing, not learning, then you deserve every bad things after.

Like seriously, you’re not special. Stop wearing your trauma as if it’s some badge of honor. Here’s the reality of modern society, people nowadays just want to be victims just to get any sort of pity from everyone else. All of that for attention. Generally, you live such a great life, you don’t even count your blessings and took it for granted. And where do you end up? Absolutely no where. Just being an inconvenience to everyone and keep using the trauma card as free ticket to be a lil piece of shit.

Grow. The. F Up.

Creeps on FB

Figured that this is the best platform to post this given the target audience, so here goes.

If you’re middle-aged and single do not by any means pursue anyone in their 20s and early 30s. It’s so creepy and reeks of desperation.

This a public service announcement and also a specific shoutout to that 40-year old uncle who went to specifically find my friend on FB through mutuals and msg her. I told her to reject you already but you’d better wake up and stop doing this!

Here are what netizens think:

• Haha ya this I agree. Dont know why older men want to get so much younger.. they always think is true love if women accept but mostly only because of their money or status or want to have easier time in company etc..

• To that 40 year old unker: Goddammit. Go back to unker school. You are supposed to be chased, not do the chasing! Go practice open close the wallet 1000x.

• Wait wait, how old is considered middle age? If i live to 50. 25 is middle age liao. Abit offensive hor? But but no worries, only fools will carry any hope by dating local and not have any mental health problems after.

• He needs opposite gender to fry his joystick for him… 40years existence can’t find a cook

• 40-year old uncle who looks like Eric Tsang = that’s why you wrote this post. 40-year old uncle who looks like Wang Lee Hom = this post won’t exist. Instead will be a cry for help on how to attract the shuaige.

• True love is beyond race, language, gender, age or money etc. you closed minded ignorant fool.

• Show picture so we know he handsome or hamsap