Are you lucky enough to be with your first choice?

It’s human to want the perfect woman. I’ve met the perfect woman, I was even lucky enough to have her consider me. But I didn’t manage to secure her. She picked a guy who didn’t even have a degree or diploma. I try to understand why but I just couldn’t.

I hated that I’m not taller and richer although I know that wasn’t why she rejected me. I am smart though. How many people are able to acquire 3 degrees before the age of 30? I would assume most women would find me eligible given my talents academically wise and my projected income in years to come. I’m quite confident I can provide better for her than the other guy. But I have no choice but to move on.

Now I’m back in the dating scene. I just can’t find anyone who’s better than her. How do I proceed?

Here are what netizens think:

• Learn to be humble. Not everything in life is about academics and money. Some women look past these superficial things.

• Was tgt with bf (now husband), he was jobless so I paid for our dates n meal. Accepted him for who he is. Didn’t hiam him poor ugly. Now he landed a good paying job, and demand me to cook n clean for him. And when I wanted to do my hair he me beg for it ( past three years I been cutting my own hair). Made me realised that not really worth it to look past superficial sometimes. Cause when they are successful alr, they will forget about yr sacrifices.

• She fell for the reality.. not ur potential.

• Lots about your academics and projected income, nothing about the rest of you. What’s your personality like? Do you generally get along well with people? Are you enjoyable to hang around? It’s not rocket science. Even if someone is rich (and you’re not rich yet), who wants to spend their free time around that person – even just as friends – if they’re boring or annoying? Lagi attraction you add in factors like looks, potential red flags, etc.

A netizen shared how he went for a job interview and the interviewer was condescending throughout, saying young people this, young people that.

Here is the story

Went for an interview at a government agency in charge of technology, and the interviewer spoke to me in such a condescending tone throughout. She kept saying stuff like “young people like you will not xxxx”.. “young people nowadays don’t know….”

She even told me “young people like you keep quitting after only a few months on the job because of un-glamorous titles we have in the civil service.. so i am not sure if you are willing to accept a position with a not very nice title, such as associate Something-something, or assistant something-something”.

I did my research into her project that she was in charge of (i have friends in the company), and I’m pretty sure that’s not why people are quitting. Long hours, working through weekends with no compensation, lots of contractors who are not renewed (low motivation).

At least personally I don’t care about titles, what i care about is the salary. And i made that clear to her too (respectfully). Although it irritates me that she spoke to me in such a tone throughout and looked down on “young people”, i was respectful to her.

The position i applied for is not a mid career position, it is a rather junior position, so i guess she has no choice but to hire young people with less experience? Yet she talk to us in such a rude manner.

Well, old bird, please learn more about these “young people” and respect them as human beings if you want us to join your project. If not every few months i will see the same job listing up again.

In the end, I have decided to stay in my current company which offered me a 12% pay raise (similar job scope), instead of moving to this stupid project.

A netizen shared how he still gets on all fours when climbing stairs and pretending he is a “tiger”.

Here is the story:

I’m 32 and I still sometimes climb stairs on all fours like I’m a tiger.

I admit not all tigers need to climb stairs, and Tony the tiger would only use 2 legs, not 4.

But you know that stairs climb you used to do when you were about 4 years old? Down on all fours and climbing, alternating legs like a feline.

Sometimes I still do that and it makes me feel so happy. I may also be a little drunk

Netizens comments

• I’m 43 and did this just the other day and I thought to myself while doing it “does any other grown person do this too” and now I have my answer.

• 49 and sometimes i growl GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR….which may explain why i am single and have a cat

• Yep, in my 40’s and still do it!

• I’m nearly 32 and still do this, and I also skip back down them like a horse………

• 40 in a few months and I do this alongside my cats and dogs. My husband, who is 18 days younger than myself, shakes his head at my ridiculous self. I will not stop. I am a night prowler.

• I still traverse stairs like I’m Spider-Man climbing the wall… no shame

• It’s just fun. I’m 30 and do the same thing lol scares the crap out of my wife but I still do it 😅

Editor’s note: I’m a fully grown adult and I still do this as well, you’re not alone.

Should I leave my husband?

I’m in my mid forties. My husband doesn’t touch me. He watches P but he just doesn’t want to touch me. We haven’t had S for over 10 years. I don’t talk to him about my feelings because he doesn’t listen. He tells me about his daily life and work though.

He cooks for me and’s helps me out at home. We’re living like friends for companionship. Is this normal? Is it too late for me to start over?

Here are what netizens think:

• A woman is cheated on by her husband.She’s devastated. She hears that there’s a wise monk who lives up in a mountain, she decides to consult him.

After a few days of travelling, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. “I spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated supporting him, taking care of him. And now he has left me for another woman. My life is stolen, and I’m left with nothing. I don’t know what to do”.

The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks: Was the cookie delicious?”

“Yes”- she answers.

“Do you want another one?”

“Sure.”

After she finishes that, he asks, “Do you want one with nuts?”

After she finishes another three exotic varieties, the monk looks her in the eye and says “Do you see the problem now?”

The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks. “I guess human nature is greedy. You get one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one, a better one and so on. It’s never enough. And nothing lasts forever, everything is finite. We should be aware of this and not disappointed. “

The monk shakes his head.

“No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less.”

• At least he still share with you abt his work stuffs and help with chores. Not too bad already sista. Mine don’t bother to do anything n he dont even talk about his work to me. Worse part is he invited his parents to stay with us without discussing prior. It’s a misery.

• Maybe try roleplay. First you need uniforms. Preferably all white. If not blue also can.

A netizen shared how her friend’s husband cheated on her with another woman and when he ended the affair, the other woman then started stalking him.

Here is the story:

If married men want to cheat, can you at least make sure your affair is not a psychotic stalker?

My friend’s husband cheated. He ended the affair and my friend chose to forgive him and start over. The issue now is that the woman refuses to let go. Turned stalker and even showed up at their residential home, demanding to see him.

My friend recorded the incident and I saw the clip. The affair woman looked out of sorts. Like gone mental already. Ignoring my friend and the children in the house and kept asking him why he is ignoring her calls. I feel frightened for my friend and their children!

My friend has called the police a few times and she has even changed phone numbers. They are even planning to move house too because the affair woman has been loitering around their place.

Netizens’ comments

• Why blame the woman? Who knows she could actually be a perfectly normal person until that guy messed her up by getting involved in her life.

• Your friend’s husband shd be the one dealing with the mess he created.

Can I be an artist or illustrator even though reaching 30s soon?

I’m 29 year old guy almost 30, and I have not much working experience which I have only work on average 1-3 months each time and once for 6 months. I can’t focus or stand and sit still for long throughout the day. Always when I was working it just feels like it’s Monday, break time, off work and weekend.

I like art as it’s currently one of the only reason that I can find something “meaningful” in my life. I have depression as I was child abused by my parents and bullied at school since young although the child abuse part back then doesn’t considered as.

My friends with 16 years of friendship said that my depressions are just an excuse because there are lots of worse people out there who have even no legs or homeless people in Africa have no job and place to sta even if they want. I had ask a few people who are planning to study, are studying or graduated from an art school about some courses but they said that in one course, probably illustration I think that it’s a dog eat dog world. Even if graduate it’s also hard to secure a job being an artist or illustrator.

Recently I decided to end this long friendship even though they’re the only ones whom I know them for so long till now because it’s revolves around money that I was pressured to rent at their place as they lost Job during COVID and therefore my dad had this chance to not allow me to go back to his house but after two years, during a day after my birthday last year he wanted to borrow money from me because of his reasons I do not know but he know I have get voucher cause it’s obvious. My ex girlfriend left me for the other guy she actually know before I and her was in a relationship because of my Emotional dysregulation and that guy was studying in university and is normal.

Art is like the only thing that I can focus for now besides gaming(non realistic I know) and I don’t know what to do in my life now.

Can I still be an artist or illustrator whether here in Singapore or in other countries in future? PS: I was told by my friends that if they’re in my pov of being 30 years old with no working experience, cpf and job they will jump down as there’s no hope for future already in Singapore and will see me sell tissue at hawker centre or sleep at void deck in future. Sometime I know that reality is so harsh like people will feel example being like artist or other non realistic career be it singer, gamer, streamer, dancer, boss like having a cafe but when seeing those who are successful for the one from our country just made me feel so envious of them and disappointment in myself. I’m sorry for the advice request and extra unnecessary info.

Condom broke on a one night hookup and I’m traumatized but I deserve it because of my stupidity and I recognize that I need to take responsibility for this.

I met this girl on a dating app and she immediately opened up to me then called me over. Next thing I knew, I picked her up and took her to a hotel to cuddle. She asked if I had condoms and I did. I put on the condom and after finishing, the condom broke and finished inside not realizing it broke.

I panicked hard. The girl couldn’t say anything. I apologized profusely because she told me she wasn’t on birth control or anything. Then we immediately got her PLAN B. I paid for it, as I should, and she immediately took it .

From the time of the incident, she took plan B about 45mins after.

She was silent and I was just panicking. We were both traumatized. I tried to talk about it but in that moment, she was still trying to process everything.

She wanted to talk to a pharmacist. We went to talk to them. He assures that if she took it immediately after there’s a good chance she will be fine.

After that , I dropped her off at her place and sleep for work.

The next day I went to get tested immediately for STDs and awaiting results. So far , urine is clean. She messaged me and she was still concerned. I messaged the girl and told her that I’ll keep consistent contact with her and check in on her.

My plan is this…

I would check in with her every week and see how she is doing. While Plan B is taking effect, I plan on taking her to Planned Parenthood as soon as I can to see what we could do. She doesn’t want her family involved and nor do I. I will also give her my full STD results to give her assurance of my health.

This is currently on my mind right now and I’m fully processing everything and owning up to my stupid mistake. I will remember this fear and not stick myself into one stands. My bank is going to hurt but it’s a price to pay for a hard earned lesson that I needed to be reminded of.

My concern is if she ghost me, I wouldn’t know what to do. So that’s also giving me nightmares.

Relationship over 1.5 years

I’m wondering if every guys are like that…

Before I accepted my boyfriend, he used to spent alot of time (til late night or very early in the morning) on me even though he had work or school tomorrow. He also stopped some friendship (cause of some issues that isn’t related to our relationship), thus he doesn’t meet up with his friends very often. However, right now whenever we meet after his work or so. He would tell me he want to go home early because he have school or work tomorrow. Through calls he would be tired and sleep really early.

These days, his friends came to find him back and now they are hanging out late at night (not going clubbing or so, just chill and talk). However, his still have the same schedule as how he hangs out with me. But he stayed way beyond 8pm. Moreover, he stayed until 1am still! When he always tell me that he needs 8hours of sleep.

Does he lose feelings for me? Is every guys like this? I still love him deeply and he feels the same.

In other hand, I am always available and i dont pressure him on anything (materialistic & educations etc). And whenever he needs me, I’ll be there even though i have less than 4-6hrs of sleep most of the time due to my busy schedule.

What does this mean…

Here are what netizens think:

• you have passed the honeymoon stage. Now the real work starts. Do you know what makes a woman attractive to a man? A woman is most attractive when you have your own life and interests. When you’re confident, independent and supportive. To sustain the relationship you need to discuss with him about ways to nurture the relationship. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So you need to take care of yourself first. First and foremost, your social needs. He can’t be your everything. That is exhausting to any human being. In short, don’t be needy. Do the things you used to do when you’re single. Meet the friends that you used to meet before you’re attached. So when date night comes, the 2 of you will be missing each other and will have plenty to share.

• He was willing to spend more time with you at the start because he’s trying to court you. But when he no longer needs to “convince you to be with him”, he will naturally do what’s comfortable. And what’s more comfortable than hanging out with your close friends? I assume you have your own close friends and interests too, but I’m pretty sure anyone who is serious about their relationship, would perceive their partners as a close friend too, and wouldn’t prioritise their partner LESS than their friends. At the very least, it should be the same (which you have made clear, is not the case).

• Couples should read up on “personal space “ and even as married couples , respect each other personal space yet can find time for each other / family/ kids / parents. Communicate well yea .

I won’t say my age or where I’m from, and I would highly appreciate if the comments could be non-judgemental, but I know I’m probably asking for too much.

Basically, I first did it when I was 18. My family was poor and I knew a girl that was in this kind of scene so I asked her to introduce me to some guys and see where it went.

The Guys actually were pretty nice and didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. The first couple of dates I just had dinner and went back home, but days passed and my family’s situation wasn’t getting any better, so I finally decided to do it.

Moving on with life I decided that, since I didn’t know what else to do, I would continue.

When I found a job in the field that I studied, I stopped with the other job. I was happy, no regrets, but I felt it was time to let the heels rest.

I got married, I found my soulmate who I truly love, and had two amazing sons. My job and my husband’s job let us live a good life until our boys arrived. We were expecting one girl, and a set of male twins came out of me, so life immediately became more expensive.

I gave up my job willingly, even tho my husband opposed it, to take care of my kids. I’m not an old-fashioned woman but I knew from the beginning that I wanted to spend the most time possible with them. My husband worked his ass off, and everything was good until our kids started going to school.

You know, any boy at that age just wants a brand new phone, the brand new console that just came out, and I didn’t want them to think “our friends have it but we don’t”. My husband’s salary was enough to pay for our home, our food, etc., but not for expensive things like two phones, two bikes, etc., so I decided to start working again.

I tried to find a job related to what I studied but, where I live, that profession was dead at that moment, so I thought “let’s go for the easy money”. I became a prostitute again.

This time around, it was better paid than when I first did it, so it wasn’t just easy money, it was MONEY. My husband got a promotion and we were just happy.

One thing that saved me from my family knowing is that I take care of the money in the house. My husband has always said that he works and I take care of the money, so when he comes tired from work he doesn’t wanna hear a single thing about the money or what we should buy or where we should try to save money from.

But, eventually, I told him cause I couldn’t have a good mental state knowing I was not only cheating on my husband but getting paid while doing so. I’m happy to say he supports me and he didn’t get THAT mad.

My sons are older now but, while they study, they still live with us.

The biggest problem is that, around us, the only people that don’t know are my sons. And you will wonder how do other people know? Cause I’ve been hired by my sons’ friends, their friends’ parents, my sons’ teachers, even my husband’s friends have hired me.

I know I should reject them and only stick to unknown people, but the checks they pay are hefty, and my husband told me to go for it.

I don’t feel terrible about it, and my husband has told me that our sons probably know about it through their friends, but I don’t want them to hate me when/if they find out.

So yeah, that’s my confession. I needed to get it out of my chest.

Editor’s note: I bet you all the money in the world that your kids know. Because how can their friends hire you and not tell them about it? They are probably just pretending to you that they don’t know.

Desperately need advice on commercial law plus ranting sighh

Hi everyone. I have a LLP business with a partner and now he want to sort of take over the business. Initially he wanted to buy my shares, then after that he said he want to dissolve the business instead, but he will take the stocks and continue to run the business.

He then draft a contract which is not in my favour with a non-compete term.

– For a period of three (3) years

– I cannot join any business as an employee, partner, distributor, cofounder, or any similar relationship that directly competes with this company or engages in any product categories that the company is currently involved in, throughout the world

Does it make sense for 3 years? And limiting me from working with anyone in the skincare industry THROUGHOUT THE WORLD? Btw this company is not big, just selling alright on Shopee.

I am also a social media manager on the side so this is what he included as the term:

– I can work with clients that are in the skincare industry that do not compete directly with the company in the same product categories – they sell serum so I almost can’t work with any skincare brand??

– Also what does this even mean LOL – “The exception to this agreement is when the client in question is a family member of Party B or a person in close relation to Party B, including but not limited to a relative, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband.”

Now, he logged me out of everything. Haven’t make payment and took all the stocks back under his possession, leaving me with nothing. That is stealing right? Since payment is not made. We don’t have a partner agreement so that sucks. But what other option do I have

Reached out to a few lawyer, but it feels like no one wanna help me because I’m a student and honestly cost is my concern too. I feel so stress out and I just want to end this quickly. A lawyer advised me not to sign anything and there is no need for a contract in dissolving a LLP.

The he went to find a lawyer in Malaysia to draft a contract (cuz he don’t want to pay for SG lawyer and claims it’s cheaper) and demand me to pay 50% when I didn’t even agree to it. I said no anyways. But until now, no amended contract from him yet.

He has been slow to reply me now. Last message when I for the contract cuz it’s been almost 2 months, he replied rudely that since I don’t wanna pay, I’ll have to wait and this is how the world works =.= I asked for a timeline and threatened to take legal action but he grey tick me again lol

So how should I handle this? Any good lawyer to recommend? Anyone been in this situation before?