A netizen shared how he/she was a fresh graduate from a private university and recently started working in an audit company for about 4 months.

The newbie was allegedly forced to do the work of a senior worker, on top of his/her own work and as a result of doing 2 work, has to bring work home to do until about 11 pm.

The netizen said that he/she is very tired since joining the company and feels like nothing is worth it anymore.

Here is her story

“Hi, I am confused and need some help.

I recently started working in audit (4mth) and I hate it. I hate the culture of the office and the people.

I feel like I’m being tormented by my senior, he says whatever’s he wants and makes me do this work while I do mine as well

And since I can’t finish 2work at the same time I have to bring work back home and work till 11+.

Mental health

I am so tired and since I started working in this company my mental health has been bad.

I am a fresh grad from private Uni so I know I have to work harder but I just feel like nothing is worth it anymore and I am lost.

I don’t know if I should quit considering the economy but I can’t take it as well.

Please give me some advice thank you!”

Editor’s note: You should complain to your manager about the senior worker’s antics, why should you do the work of 2 persons? The senior is basically earning money for the work that you do. Stand up for yourself.

Images source: Unsplash

So my father turns 65 later this year and is planning to retire, for a birthday/retirement gift my wife and I have decided to take him on a 12 day vacation to Greece. The trip is a 7 day tour of the country and a 5 day cruise of the islands. My dad has always wanted to know to Greece because that is where his family is from, but he could never afford it. My wife and I are in good shape finically and can afford it no people.

The thought never crossed my mind to invite my stepmother, I kind of forget she even exist. I have not seen her since I was 19, I am in my 40s now. She just chose not to attend any family functions on my dads side, when I got married, she did not come, when my grandparents died she did not go to the funeral.

So after I gave everything to my dad I got a text from a family friend a day or so later. saying that I’m a bad person for not inviting her and that they have been married for over 25 years and I should treat her better.

So am I a bad person for not inviting her?

people asked why she did not get along with my grandparents.

The family legend is she and my grandmother did not get along. I guess she showed up Drunk to Christmas when they first started dating and got in an argument because my grandmother got my presents for me, than her kids. She may have also peed on their couch while drunk.

I succeeded in chasing a girl way out of my league and now getting cold feet. Should I tell her honestly and pull out?

I’m with this girl for a few months, let’s call her J. I was initially very attracted to J’s good looks and well grooming. I’d say her looks are among the top 10-15% of all the girls I met. Despite being an average guy, I planned and chased her and won her heart after some time. However, as we spent more time and knowing each other better, I realized there is indeed a huge gap in lifestyle and abilities between J and me

– J lives in a big semi d landed house while my family lives in a old 4 room flat. Her dad owns several successful businesses while my parents are average income workers

– Her social skills are top notch and she can talk to ppl and make friends easily across age groups and nationalities. I don’t make friends easily as I don’t reveal myself too much to strangers. I also have problem’s especially dealing with ppl with power and knowledge like bosses or professors.

– she is an active sports person and her body is very fit. I’m slightly chubby, although tall. I don’t have a toned body and often struggle to pass my IPPT.

– she is fluent in English, Chinese and german, almost to the native level. I speak singlish most of the time and can’t even write standard English or Chinese well.

– Her CAP is 4.6x while I am 3.1x.

There are many other things too. I have asked J what attracted her to me and she said it was my integrity, sincerity and kindness. But I know that integrity and kindness alone can’t sustain a relationship. My confidence drops a little every time I went out with J and know more about her. We are still in the honeymoon phase but she may start comparing me with other guys once the honeymoon fades. I have heard many examples that it just won’t work out if the guy and girl are too different. Even if she can accept me, her family would disapprove such a guy due to the big diff in SES. I’m thinking to take some pain now and just break off instead of prolonging smth that prob won’t end well.

–

My father works as a transporter, those big lorries you see carrying around materials/tanks. He earns his salary based on how often he transports.

Recently, I found out that he has not received his income/commissions for 3 months. Due to company policy, he is also suppose to receive additional 900 dollas as well.

He has complained to the higher ups only for them to play telephone and ping pong with each other. They also threatened him by stating that they will report him to the higher ups and give him a warning for his behaviours (which is just frustration at getting nowhere with his issues, nothing physical or anything)

Is it possible to sue them?

Netizens’ comments

1. Your father should make a complaint to MOM. Non payment of wages is a criminal offence under the Employment Act, don’t pursue civil action at this point.
2. Check if he is paid for his wage on cpf portion. If no payment, time to sharpen your knife and complain to cpf and let them do the magic work. 😂
   • Yea CPF is the biggest boss. Hearsay bigger than chief justice, prime minister and president combined. 💀🤣
     • Damn, got so powerful ar.
3. Father needs mom to put pressure on company
4. Go CPF more useful than MOM. If employer never pay CPF then CPF will make them pay.
5. File TADM and, failing which, then can go to ECT. See link here: https://www.mom.gov.sg/employment-practices/managing-employment-disputes
   Get union involvement since your dad likely covered by union. It’s basically free help for your dad who otherwise might not have enough knowledge or time to fight his case himself.
   Don’t need do law suit. Employment and salary issues for EA covered employees don’t go there
6. CPF first, MOM second, but both at the same time.
7. MOM and CPF. Those are your daddies

Widowed women, how do you “satisfy” your needs?

I’ve been widowed for 6 years now. I chose to still be “married” to my late husband, because it’s what makes me happiest.

So at first I had an adult toy that I got as a joke, that has taken a…different role since his passing. I also have some pictures of him saved on my phone that I “pleasure myself” to.

I also have one video that I have hidden. It’s very short but it’s a video of us getting frisky with each other. I also have some pictures that he used to sent me on a business trip.

Lately, it’s kind of gotten stale. I never ever want another man, but the same old pictures every day don’t give the same excitement they used to.

I ordered a new vibrating toy online, I’m gonna give that a try. If anyone (women only please) has any tips on how to spice things up I’d really appreciate it.

All I ask is that you don’t make fun of me for my likes and dislikes. It’s very embarrassing but I got the guts to post it because this is anonymous.

since my husband is gone, I have a little contraption, a body pillow and one of his old hoodies so I can pretend it’s him

Netizens’ comments

1. I’m a man so won’t weigh in on your question. I just wanted to say that I find your enduring love and loyalty really touching. I know your husband would want the best for you and your happiness, whatever that might be.
2. I just want to applaud you meeting your own needs and reaching out for advice to spice things up. Good for you!! I also love that you sleep with his hoodie. That’s is so precious… and I’m so sorry for your loss.
3. You are a great woman! Huge respect for you! Your husband is no more in this world yet alive in your heart! 👍👍👍👍.
4. I’ve been a widow since January. I’m 41. My libido is very high. It’s been a struggle. We were extremely physical with each other, always touching, holding hands, kissing.
   I too, have a makeshift cuddler pillow that I put his old t-shirts on. When I feel extremely touch starved I get a massage (a regular one, no funny business).
   I have several videos of us but can’t bring myself to watch them yet so I just use memories and my imagination. Death is hard…

Married woman wants to go on a trip with me

A woman whom I’m into has expressed interest in going out with me. She brought up the topic of going on a long-distance trip together.

Now obviously since I really like her, I really want to go too. The big issue here is that she is still married. She did mention multiple times that she is no longer in love with her husband, and is only with him for the sake of her kids and also due to responsibility.

They have had problems throughout their marriage, but she did say that her husband still treats her well.

She and I have known each other for a very long time, but we rarely got the chance to meet in person. We sometimes confide in each other and have very long intimate phone conversations late at night.

I’m not sure what to do. Should I do what I want and go with her, or try to be rational and refrain myself?

Netizens’ comments

1. Does her husband know? If she’s spoken to him and they’ve mutually decided to open their marriage that’s all daisies but if this is some sneaking behind his back bullshit, can you put yourself in her husband’s shoes? Broken marriage or not deceit is still deceit.
2. Well that depends on you. Let me ask do you want to be half responsible for breaking up a family and marriage?
3. That sounds like a terrible idea. I wouldn’t want to cause someone’s marriage to end or be the other guy with a married woman.
4. As an ex husband (very recent) who’s wife apparently cheated on him for two years with a co worker.
   I WAS the husband who treated her well. Helped her move into her new house and everything. I took care of EVERYTHING during our divorce. Alle the paperwork you can imagine.
   I did everything for her. Only to find out she already had someone else for almost two years!
   FFS she already had officially informed her manager and HR of their relationship before I found out. Because I had to find out for myself.
   It broke our family. The kids hate her new boyfriend. And her. For lying to us and not being honest and filing for divorce earlier. She lied and lied for years. To everyone.
   I don’t want to see my ex wife ever again. Ever. Not at birthdays, Xmas, graduations.. you name it. If she’s there, I’m not.
   She should have come clean on day one instead of starting a new relationship during our marriage. It’s not just about the husband, it’s also about the kids who’s live you will definitely impact.
   So if you want to be the reason for a family to break… go for it. But it’s not just about her. It’s about the husband and kids too. And I would not wish this upon anyone.

Bad experiences in primary schools in the early 2000s?

Idk if this is an experience unique to me and my primary school mates because it seems like crude punishment and treatment of children in the 2000s have already mostly died down but I am curious to know if any of yall have had traumatic experiences around the same time.

For me, I had multiple teachers who would beat the kids; though not in the most intense way, but they still did. Sometimes they’d use our own rule to smack our palms or the 1m ruler at the front of the class.

I’ve also had instances of teachers pulling me up by my sleeve to scold and threaten me and even had some teachers smacking me on the butt.

Not forgetting the arguably worse punishment that had a greater mental impact on me – throwing my books into the trash because we didn’t know how to do the work, throwing our bags out of the class because we were “stupid”, having students called stupid and useless, being told we will never make it to our dream school and to stop dreaming… the list goes on.

Has anyone experienced this?

Netizens’ comments

1. So it happened till 2000s. My primary days were the 90s. In today’s context, the teachers back then were rather sadistic. Many were verbally and physically abusive, more so in primary than secondary schools, because pupils were younger and more easily taken advantage of. In secondary schools, some students might start to fight back.
   The 1m wooden ruler smack on the hand was a common sight. I also had a crazy teacher who punishes students by asking them to pack their bags to the brim, with everything they had, then brings the bag to the staircase, and throws everything out of the bag down the stairs, he calls it “pasar malam”. His iconic phrase “YOU(name) PASAR MALAM!”. After that, he would ask the student to pick and pack everything up, and does it again. And simultaneously, he would hurl verbal abuse so loud the whole f*cking building could hear. The authority people back then love to be egomaniacs. BTW he was also having an affair with another female teacher, she often comes to visit our class, and they constantly behave inappropriately in front of our us. Sometimes during one of her visits, they would suddenly disappear for like 20-30mins together, need I say more.
   To add, he often sleeps in class too, sometimes some students talk too loudly and woke him up, he would punish the student. The worst thing was, he got promoted to HOD after our class left for secondary school.
2. Was in primary school in the 90s.
   Bunch of things that probably don’t (and can’t) happen anymore. Not traumatic for me as I was never on the receiving end.
   – Public caning during assembly.
   – “Recess detention”: no recess for a month, stay in the teacher’s room and watch all your classmates eat.
   – Teachers throwing things towards you (I guess purposely missing, just to warn you).
   – Getting tossed out of class… literally. Teacher would pick up your bag and throw it out of the door and ask you follow it.
3. Not all teachers are bad but TBH there are plenty of teachers who seem to have anger management issues. Always screaming, yelling, raising voices at students and having some weird punishments and some even nagging and lecturing the students for pretty much the whole class period time.
   What’s up with some of these teachers? I honestly think way too many of these types of teachers really have issues in regulating their emotions. Weird punishments (ineffective, just ostracising and plain humiliation is their objective) include throwing student’s textbooks out of the window and down the building (hello, high-rise littering??), making students stand throughout the lesson, stand outside the classroom, throwing their books into the dustbin, telling students they’ll never make it in life and will never amount to anything. For goodness sake, they’re supposed to be moulding the lives of students in a positive way, not a negative way. What a way to break young impressionable minds at a vulnerable age.
   And they’re power-tripping. They’re in a position of power and authority above a student. A student Vs a teacher. That kind of power dynamic. And hence, some of these teachers think that they’re the boss and they can do whatever they want. Seriously power tripping, anger management issues 🤷🏻‍♀️ and a lot of them are probably bringing all their household emotional greviences and bringing it to their workplace (the school, classroom) and throwing their emotions out at the students.
   Oh and don’t forget the open racism and even elitist mindsets that these teachers would propagate. The teachers will tell the students from better performing classes not to hang out and mix with students from the last few, less academically strong classes.
   For reference, I was born in the early 90s and my upper primary years and secondary school years was in the early 2000s (everything before 2010).

Ever since RTO happened this week, people just have been leaving the office early once work is done

People have been leaving the office once all work and meetings are done which is like around 2 pm.

Heard people from other teams complaining that they were wasting more money coming into the office especially when the cost of living is higher and being remote or hybrid 2 days was helping offset that.

They said that to get more time back for their day, they are just going to leave once work is slow or when there is no work to be done at all and I am going to start doing the same.

Netizens’ comments

1. Friend said our company might be 4 days back in office come the new year because the economy is struggling and no one is buying things/lunch. But like, if I have to commute 4 days now, you can guarantee i won’t be purchasing anything extra because i need to use that money.
2. I start and finish my workdays at home, and commute during business hours. Requiring me to be in the office makes commuting part of my job.
3. A similar thing happened when we started going back a couple days per pay period. After lunch, people just melt away… by 4pm there’s no one around. I generally work 8.30-6 (9 days per two week pay period) but have started doing the same on my in office days to avoid the worst of the commute crush. I just wrap up at home.
4. I wouldn’t surprised if the RTO only applies to the workers. But the managers won’t think it applies to themselves. Lol So in a sense it makes it even easier for workers to go home early since no one even knows you’re there to begin with.
5. I go to the office and get there at 11am, and leave at 1:30pm on the days I have to go in.
   You only have to badge into buildings and floors, so they’ll see multiple swipes throughout the office during those times when they pull reports.
6. The RTO push is coming from the top of the hierarchy. Office rental property owners and Banks(lenders) are having a unprecedented loss due to work from home polices -> this is the true reason why they want people back. It is not to incentivize economy, if you work from home you still need to eat, the demand for goods is similar.

Stay in Big 4 Assurance to Manager or hop to IA?

I’m in a dilemma, I am currently an Auditor (Assistant Manager) getting 6.6k per month.

I now have an offer on the table for an Internal Audit position (Assistant Manager level), with a base of 7.6k (15% increase). This job offers potentially way better work-life balance, though it will be slower in terms of growth and increment.

If I were to stick in Big 4 for another peak, I would be promoted to Manager in July 2024, with a base salary of 6.9k or 7.3k (depends on my performance rating). After which I will hop at that point, potentially looking at a 8k base if I were to get a 15% jump, and manager title. However, this peak would not be an easy one, with FRS 117 being effective this year, the peak would be likely stretched out from Feb to Jun 2024.

Any ex-auditors can offer any advice? Especially so to those who left as an AM, as I am afraid of the potential regret if I were to leave Big 4 before hitting Manager, since it’s just another 7 more months. Which choice would you take in this situation?

Netizens’ comments

1. Just jump again after 2 years at the new place. Regardless of whether u stay u will eventually reach parity w people who stay
2. Jump bro.
   You already have offer in hand for guaranteed +15% and better work-life balance.
   Your potential promotion in Jul 2024 is all talk unless got black and white, firms will happily screw you in a downturn.
3. I was from Big4 and I hired people from Big4
   I would usually ignore statements like “I am due for promotion by XX date”
   Nothing is set in stone. Your partner or director might say something to that effect but nothing is confirmed until the actual promotion meeting. And I tell you, those meetings, everyone is batting for their own favourites.
   A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush.