Help! How to deal with such colleague?

I’m currently working with a Malaysian colleague and we joined the company around the same time. She’s of the same age as me although my job rank is higher which is most probably due to having more years of working experience.

She likes to do things her way, which are not appropriate as it doesn’t follow certain professional standards. I always try to give guidance on the proper way to do things but she likes to “doubt”/“fight back” my ways even though I always provide the reasons factually. I would also ask her to explain her pov so I can understand her hesitance.

Even when it’s clearly wrong (with evidence and reasoning provided), she would still try to undermine me. Of course I’m not trying to be a dictator and I know I’m not 100% right all the time. So I always try to understand from her pov. However it’s just getting frustrating because based on her past working experience I would expect her to know all these basic principles of our profession?

Our team is very small and both of us report directly to our HOD. But sometimes only both of us are on the project and as the lead of the project I feel responsible to guide her and ensure our work is done professionally.

But now I’m feeling like if she’s not keen to learn, should I even be wasting my time to guide her?

Any advise on how to deal with such a colleague? What’s the deal with her?

Netizens’ comments

1. Just handle your interactions with her professionally. If she is still reluctant to follow or listen to instructions just escalate to your HOD and let him / her deal with it.
   Also can get your HOD to officially announce you as the lead of the project (and thus fully responsible for the deliverables) so she will need to follow your instructions.
   • (OP) Yeah all my interactions with her are professional, though I’m trying really hard not to lose my cool. Thankfully, it’s mostly virtual.
     And actually it’s already officially announced but she still behaves like that. It’s like she thinks I’m not capable or knowledgeable enough to lead her? Not sure if it’s because we are of the same age.
     Trying to see if there’s any better way to deal with this since my team is small and I don’t want to make things sour or awkward between us. 🙁 you can say I’m a people pleaser sadly lol

About to turn 30… I don’t think I’m ever gonna make more than 30k a year. I feel defeated

So yea, that’s the gyst of it. Coming to the close of my twenties and my best year barely topped 30,000. My credit is bad, my car (my only asset) is slowly failing, my meager savings was wiped out when said car broke down last week.

I’m feeling pretty hopeless at this point. I’m looking for any kind of advice. At all. Looking to the future, it seems pretty bleak.

My background is school dropout. Not in school anymore, but I do owe them money (lol). Now I’m a bartender working full time just to get by.

My income averages $2k a month currently, and my bills roughly 1300 a month before petrol and and food. I live in a rented unit but that’s about all I have to show.

I’ve been here nearly a year and I still don’t have much furniture, I can’t afford them. Last week my mechanic told me it’s only a matter of time before my car completely goes to heaven. So now I roll the dice every time I drive.

I feel like right now I’m stable financially, but I don’t see any opportunities to grow my income. I worry about my health, especially as I get older.

The people in my field who are my senior all have horrible stress injuries from being on their feet all the time. My back, legs, and ankles are already killing me.

It feels like I’m one looming disaster away from total ruin and it’s too late now to start from scratch in a different field.

I used to love the Humanities, Music, Photography, Video, Digital Media, Graphics, IT – you name it. Now I would literally take any job in any field at all regardless of my interest or experience.

i ran away middle of interview

i got approached two days ago by HR of this elearning platform company and im a self taught developer looking for a job.

the job position was IT and mind you i haven’t really taught myself in IT and cloud base and what not.

i had an interview on teams with 9 other people who have been in the field for a really long time with credited diplomas and degrees and i felt so out of place

10 minutes left during my interview i pretended the internet cut off and acted like I got kicked out of the meeting.

im so upset with myself i broke down because i’ve been wanting a job in tech for so long i feel like a failure.

the interviewers were all so nice and calm with me except for one that kept pushing me and asking question after question and treating me like im stupid

like literally every answer id give she’d make a sneaky comment and then proceed to the next, the rest of the people there were telling me its okay and i’ll get training and i’ll learn but she kept going and going with hard questions

i ended up freaking out and running away and had a mental breakdown.

i felt bad for the rest of the people who were interviewing me and immediately wrote down an email saying i got disconnected.

i didnt want to disrespect anyone at all i just felt overwhelmed and way too anxious. (which makes sense because my internet connection was cutting me off during the interview)

TLDR; i had an online interview and the interviewer asked too many questions and made shady comments so i freaked out and left

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t worry there will be another chance for you. Just make sure to develop and improve yourself. Maybe reflect on the questions that they asked?
2. I’m so sorry. Honestly that’s kind of overwhelming to have 9 people interviewing you! Every interview gives you experience so just take what you can from this and apply it to the next one. Good luck!
3. Interviews work both ways. It’s not just them seeing if they like you. It’s also you seeing if you like them.
4. As someone who would interview candidates, I’m really sorry they did this to you. I could never in a million years find it within myself to be condescending or rude to someone who would potentially work with me. And if it’s any consolation, I used to get all types of technical issues as we used zoom, and if anything it kind of freed up my time (was usually always behind as interviews can be unpredictable in time length), was always happy with rebooking and it never negatively impacted said candidates application and moving to the next steps.

I’m a man and I still have to cuddle my stuffed animal to sleep at night. If I’m at home in my bed and I’m about to go to sleep, I will quickly search my bed to find him.

If I’m in hospital overnight unwell, I have to bring him. If I’m going on holiday or to stay with someone else, I have to bring him. I will not sleep without him.

If I can’t find him before bed because he’s somehow gotten covered by something or fallen off of my bed then I panic and cannot sleep until I find him.

Only my partner knows though I’m sure my family probably know too since I still live at home. Neither of them care or judge me but I often wonder how many other adults both young adults like me or older still need a stuffed animal to sleep. I bet the number is probably higher than you’d imagine.

Some people may think that I’m pathetic, immature and weak for that, believe me I’ve felt that about myself too but at the end of the day, who cares, right? If a stuffed animal brings someone comfort at whatever age, why can’t they keep that comfort item?

Netizens’ comments

1. I’m 29 and I nap with a teddy bear still. I don’t when sleeping with my partner, but when it’s naps, always. It’s comforting to have a plushie. If I’m alone overnight I definitely have him, even with my dogs on the bed.
2. Honey, I’m 60 and am currently sleeping with a stuffed bulldog and a teddy bear because two of my pets died within 15 days. Today is the one week anniversary of losing my beloved Sam.
3. i’m in my 30s an do this with a stuffed animal i got for my birthday this year. you are never to old for comfort
4. Yo. I’m 22, single, living alone. And I sleep with a stuffed animal for comfort too. I used to feel that way, shameful, pathetic, everything because I thought I was too old. But I cannot express enough how much sleeping with a stuffed animal has improved my mental health, sleeping, and the loneliness I’m dealing with right now. I don’t think I can sleep without one now lol. It’s such a good thing!

Was informed by HR today that my 20k sign on bonus was actually 10k

I emailed HR last week after working here for 6 mo to confirm it was a lump sum payout after 2 years (i had already known this through coworkers, but wanted to confirm) and was informed by HR that they don’t actually have a signed contract and sent me one to sign for 10k.

After responding back stating my original offer and contract, they said the 20k offer was a miscommunication and don’t have record of the original contract.

When I accepted the position originally I signed the 20k contract and sent it back to HR. Then I had to push my start date back 3 months which they had no problem with.

3 months later they made me reapply for the position under a different HR system, which I found suspicious.

When I reapplied I made it a point to clarify this was the same position I had already signed a contract for with the same sign on bonus of 20k.

HR lady said yes and that it was just a technicality because of new system and even updated the new posting to say “20,000 sign on bonus eligible”.

6 months later here I am getting lied to when I could have gotten better position when I was searching, but chose this because of the sign on bonus.

The email of me sending back the signed 20k contract is also scrubbed from our employee email and suspiciously no where to be found (which I am very certain I sent).

Netizens’ comments

1. Present them with your copy of the signed contract. You did save a copy of the contract, didn’t you?
2. If I signed a contract for a $20,000 bonus I would have a plethora of copies.
3. Why is the email accepting the job coming from your work email? How did you have access to your work email before accepting the job, shouldn’t that email be in your personal account?
4. And that right there is why I BCCed my personal email on every legal document I signed with my employer.
5. Sounds like you gotta sue them. And if you have communication from them that says that the 20k was a mistake (rather than them just outright denying that it was ever offered) then they are basically just admitting that the agreement did exist.