Hate the gender roles

I want to marry a woman who earn more than me.

I believe I have good reason for this. I came from a broke family. I worked hard, studied hard through the biggest lie of the system called meritocracy. Guess what, I have nothing to show for it after all that effort.

My parents’ education only PSLE, how they know what JC and uni is like. No guidance. Can’t afford tuition either. Mug my ass off also cannot do well.

Now I’m in an average uni course with not high earning power. So I rather have a woman who is qualified enough and can be the main breadwinner, while I have more of a family man role.

After our children are born, I want to take care of them when they are young. I will still work, but scale back to part-time probably.

I will take care of the kids, make sure they grow up healthy, bring them for their health checkups. I know this is not an easy job. Some will think it’s sai kang but I don’t mind it.

I will guide them through the education system that was stacked against me. I’ll combine my personal experience and my wife’s earning power. Our kids will succeed. Don’t say I no ambition ah, my ambition is for our kids to be successful.

I hate being born male. It’s as though there’s a mismatch between my assigned gender and my personality. As you can see, a lot of things I listed would be so much more acceptable if I was a woman.

Everything I said makes logical sense until we bring in traditional gender roles which don’t even have biological basis.

Why should men earn more than women in white collar jobs when both genders have no difference in cognitive ability?

And most of our ladies still believe in this. Even if I was a handsome yandao, how many of them are willing to accept me and my unconventional idea of family?

I lost 2 dice rolls, being born poor family and wrong gender. Why must I be male…

40 is awesome! Age discrimination from both directions!

25 years working, 15 in chemical manufacturing. One interviewer strongly implied I’m to old to be starting fresh. (asked a lawyer, it’s not actionable)

Another told me I don’t have enough experience!

Hiring managers; You have collectively lost your goddamn minds.

Netizens’ comments

1. WTF 40 isn’t even old!
2. I’m 39. I feel ya. I don’t even have as much experience as you. Yay 08′ recession!!!
   Here’s what it is…..they want someone with 25 years of experience who’s 20 years old. That’s the problem.
3. As a woman, after 40 I earned less than I did at 27. I didn’t even have my degree then. After investing thousands of dollars and years of my time in getting the degree to support my family, I averaged less than minimum wage.
   Oh, I was in demand though! I had all these fabulous contract jobs that gave me a “chance” tobecome permanent but in 15 years with that carrot on a stick, I came second at all interviews and didn’t get the job. Then my kid grew up and he made more money than I did.
4. All I am hearing is “You are too knowledgeable and experienced to exploit.” Gross
5. I’m 44 and feel this strongly. Just got a new job and feel like those slightly older and more infantilise me, those younger think I’m an old fogey.
6. As a 45 year old woman looking for a job this is depressing. Went to a group interview today for a job I’m completely capable of doing. I was the only person there of my description.
   I was the only one who left without an orientation date. I have a degree and have managed businesses in the past. I was well dressed, well spoken and completely qualified. Made me feel worthless.

 I don’t know that I have ever experienced an epiphany or anything until now.

Here goes, I guess.

I’ve (42M) been best friends with J(43M) since we were kids. We’ve been inseparable since we met. I love this guy so much.

I’m an only child so I see him as my brother. I’d take a bullet for him, and he says he feels the same way about me. Don’t be weird. We’re just friends. There’s nothing wrong with two grown men being best friends and expressing their emotions!

Anyway, here’s some context. I’ve always been more of ladies man. I’m much more outgoing. Never been super interested in anything serious. No one hurt me, I just never cared too much. I’m not a scumbag or anything, I just want to have fun.

J is the opposite in everyway. He’s always been really shy and introverted. He’s great. Funny, stable, probably the most thoughtful guy, and (no matter what he thinks) not bad looking.

He’s just so insecure. He’s my boy! I’ve always hyped him up, but you know, it’s who he is. Plus, he had one gf that really broke his heart. He hadn’t been the same since.

A year or so ago, he met E(32). He fell for this girl hard. It was easy to see why, she’s drop dead gorgeous and really cool. He was too scared to make a move for a long time.

Long story short, they’re living together. I’m really happy for him. She’s perfect for him – fun, outgoing. She brings out the good stuff in him.

So, this is the part you’ve been waiting for. I was supposed to come over to his place to hang. I was running errands but finished earlier.

I went over to his place about 45 minutes early. I knocked and he didn’t answer, but I knew he was home. I had a spare key so I just went in.

I saw them immediately. They were going at it on the kitchen counter top. I feel totally guilty for noticing (and I would be respectful to his face) but she had an incredible body!! I was shocked. Like, deer in the headlights. I was going to leave but I couldn’t stop watching.

I didn’t mean to be a creep! I swear! It was just like something out of a rom-com. They were so passionate. I still can’t get over the way she was looking at him. They were so into each other.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had good partners in bed. I have dated beautiful women. (Not to brag.) But I don’t think I’ve ever experienced something like that.

It kind of made my heart hurt. I don’t know how else to say it. It made me realize that I want someone to love me that way. I’ve never felt lonely before. I’ve never once thought I would be the kind of guy that wanted a wife. But now, I kind of do. I want what they have.

A woman shared a story about how her husband suddenly stopped sleeping with her, holding her hand and hugging her, and he then went to live with his mistress.

Here is the story:

“I’m a 33-year-old woman and married for 8 years and I’ve known my husband for 16 years, we have a lovely 3-year-old son,

He is easily an almost perfect husband, we lead a very good life financially and romantically, up to until our child was born.

All of a sudden one day, he stopped sleeping with me and holding my hand or hugging me, and 4 months after that happen he admitted to me he fell in love with someone else, and he then packed up his bags and left to stay with his mistress,

We are still in contact because of our boy, and he still settles the household expenses and my bills which easily amount to what people earn in a year

I do believe it’s also partially my fault because I put almost all my attention on my boy and neglected his emotional needs,

Now I’m still in shock, I spent half my life with him, and this happen, what should I do, I don’t believe I can get him back.

I’m crying every night for the last 6 months.”

Editor’s note: Let him go, he is a disgrace to men.

With the border reopening, it is good news for most of us but for one woman it was her nightmare.

Her husband’s “business” trip turns out to be the start of her nightmare and end of her marriage.

Here is her story:

To all the women out there, be careful if your husband and boyfriend are going to Thailand for whatever reasons. Be it going for a business or leisure, make sure you are going with him or his not going.

My soon to be ex-husband works in an MNC that has offices around Asia.

When the border opened, he told me that he was flying to the Bangkok offices to do some work, initially I just nod my head and said ok as it was his income and I could not say no. But deep down, I am wary of men that visit Thailand.

After he flew to Bangkok he was still contactable and he would video called me after he reaches the hotel. There were one or two nights he was drunk and said that he is treating his Thailand co-workers for a drink and did not call me.

Now I know that the “drunk” is probably a lie, after 3 nights. He told me that, he is taking the opportunity to visit Chiang Mai since he is in Thailand.

He soon went MIA after he touch down in Chiang Mai. His last message to me was “Dear, I reached CNX”.

The MIA continued on for 3 more days and I started to get worried and I expected the worse, I did not tell my friends about it as I know that this will turn out as nothing but an embarrassment for both my husband and me.

Telling friends won’t change the fact that he has gone MIA, friends would most likely put worse thoughts in my mind. I kept quiet and continued to wait, hoping that it might be an accident or his phone got stolen or something.

He finally replied to me on the 4 nights later and said that he is boarding the plane now to return to Singapore via Scoot airlines.

When he was finally home, I asked him why did not reply or call me for that 72 hours. He sat down at the sofa, drank his beer and ignored me.

I finally raise my voice and shouted at him. The words that came out of his mouth was:

“I’m visiting a law firm tomorrow, let’s not waste time”

Deep down I know that I have not been the best wife but I have never cheated on him. He finally gave in and said that he met his “true love” in Bangkok who is his colleague from the Bangkok office. He went to Chiang Mai for a short holiday with the girl he met and said that he wants to be with her.

I agreed to the divorce as I could not accept anyone who is cheating on me.

I am very lost right now, what should I do next, I took a week-long leave and I am currently alone in Johor now for a short get away from him and work.