It happened to me today, and I am still in shock. After working for my company for six years, I was given a $20 increment in my salary.

A mere $20 increment, after all the hard work and dedication I had put in. I was insulted, and I felt like my hard work and dedication had been taken for granted.

My career path had been a long and winding one. I had started out as a junior analyst at the company, and over the past six years I had worked my way up to a senior analyst. I had worked hard, taking on extra tasks, staying late, and going the extra mile to ensure that everything was done to the highest standard. I had taken on leadership roles, mentored junior employees, and was respected throughout the company for my hard work and commitment.

Despite all of this, I had been given a mere $20 increment in my salary. I was insulted and angry. It felt like all of my hard work had been taken for granted. I had expected more from the company – a salary increase that was more in line with my experience and dedication.

I decided to take a stand. I went to my boss and told him I was resigning and that he should keep the $20 increment. I told him that the company should be rewarding its employees more for their hard work and dedication, not insulting them with a mere $20 increment.

My boss was taken aback. He didn’t understand why I was so angry, but he respected my decision. He asked me to stay, but I refused. I had made up my mind and I was leaving.

I know my decision was a bold one, but I felt like I had to do it. I had worked hard for the company and I deserved to be rewarded for it. A mere $20 increment was an insult to me and my hard work. It was time to take a stand and show the company that they needed to value their employees more.

As I walked out of the office, I felt a sense of pride. I had taken a stand and I had done what I felt was right. I may have lost my job, but I had made a statement and I felt good about it.

My story has been shared with many people, and it has become a symbol of standing up for what is right. I hope that my story can be an inspiration for others, to show that standing up for what is right is never easy, but it is always worth it.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to settle for an ugly person

So basically, science has found an overwhelming majority of the time people of the same level of attractiveness will end up together in long term relationships.

Ugly people will end up with ugly people, beautiful people will end up with beautiful people, and the plains and pretties in between, right?

While I’m not what would be considered conventionally attractive or the beauty standard, I do consider myself to be pretty.

I have been called beautiful by other people, but had my fair share of polite declines as well. I have a lingering fear that, while I don’t believe I’m unattractive, that I’m not attractive enough to have a partner that I’m attracted to.

I’ve been in “situationships” with people I found attractive before, but would they choose me, exclusively, long term?

They didn’t attempt to, by any means. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m only getting older. I’ve known a couple spinsters in my life and I wonder if I’ll be one of them too.

I would really like to spend my life with someone, but I can’t imagine having a closeness and intimacy with someone I don’t find beautiful inside and out.

Netizens’ comments

Instead of caring so much about appearance, why don’t you focus on how the person you’re in a relationship with treats you?

I don’t know where you came across this strange notion beauty = long relationships/hapiness, but as someone in their 40s, I can confidently say that beauty does not sustain a marriage or long relationship.

A long-lasting relationship is only sustainable if both individuals in the romantic relationship are respectful, responsible, empathetic, and share compatible beliefs and morals.

Otherwise, people may end up divorcing or breaking up if they are too different , feels taken for granted or disrespected in the relationship.

healthy relationship goes beyond physical attractiveness and extends to emotional connection and mutual respect. I highly recommend you to not waste your time after beauty unless you do not mind to get disappointed, sad or frustrated in your life.

They want all of us living paycheck to paycheck.

If you have to live paycheck to paycheck you HAVE to show up for their crappy job paying a crappy wage what choice do you have?

If you actually had some money in the bank you might take some time off or have time to think and get another job.

This is why employers hate gaps in resumes

If you have a gap it means that you didn’t have to work that particular period of time, which means you might want some time off at this job.

So they will hire a person with no gaps because they know that person lives paycheck to paycheck.

Netizens’ comments

1. What’s worse too, that confirms what you’ve said, is that THAT is why employers often do not want you to have more than one job. Even if you can handle 3-4 jobs. It’s not to make sure you are dedicated to that first job. It’s to make sure you are fully reliant on ONLY that first job so that they can play a part and parcel in defining the class distinctions, social strata, and power levels that separate the controlled from the controllers.
2. Paycheck to paycheck means you are trapped in whatever your crappy situation is, and you’re almost completely at the mercy of whatever capitalism decides to do next. It makes people afraid to voice their concerns or opposition to blatantly unfair business practices when it comes to employees.
   I can’t tell you how many times I heard the most brainwashed, beaten down people at a former workplace chirp about “job security” when more work or unreasonable expectations were dumped on them without a pay raise or even basic respect.
3. Yup, then they want to work you death by giving you no time for vacation and health. Then when you do die, they toss out your things and hire some new naive sap for the same job for less money, probably doing more work.

Is it okay that I’ve started turning down intimacy within marriage?

My husband has a lot of good qualities but being attentive in bed is not one of them. He doesn’t do foreplay, doesn’t touch me during the act, and only does one position which is me on top.

I do all the work and usually try to get it over with as soon as possible, but of course his preference is a long drawn out session completely focused on his pleasure. He finishes the instant there is penetration, or usually before it even goes in.

I have had at least 20 “talks” with him about this, where he gets uncomfortable and says “I’m sorry I’m such a failure” and starts pouting.

He insists that getting MORE oral would help him last longer and be more interested because he wouldn’t be “as sensitive” but the sensitivity isn’t the main problem, it’s his general lack of participation.

After the last talk I made a very detailed yet easy to read list featuring all the places I want to be touched, activities I would enjoy, and the order in which I want them done.

Not romantic at all (I would adore some romance or seducing but that’s asking too much) but I thought it might help. I included tips about hygiene too.

But still, he doesn’t seem interested in my pleasure at all. It’s hard for me to get aroused because he’s not trying at all and only wants it to be about himself.

I’ve started turning him down. We don’t do it very frequently as it is, but it will be borderline nonexistent now if I keep saying no. Positive reinforcement would work if he actually TRIED but he doesn’t try so there’s nothing to reinforce.

I feel like saying “no” is saying “I don’t like the way you treat me so you aren’t getting rewarded for no effort” . Thoughts? Is this toxic of me? Is he right and he just needs more oral?

I’m considering to go back on my decision to donate my kidney for my mother because of her reaction when she found out that I am a match

My mother had been struggling with kidney failure for a long time, and after trying to manage her condition w dialysis, it was finally time for the procedure and it was up to my siblings and me to step up.

There were three of us – me(F25), A(F29) , and M (M21). When M did the test and he turned out to be a match my mother was devastated and started crying hysterically from the thought that he would have to go through this and was even talking about considering other options.

However, when my mother found out that I was also a match, she was calm, mildly-concerned but i can see that she felt relieved .

I was hurt that my mother obviously seemed to fear for my younger brother’s safety and well-being more than mine. It was clear that she had a favorite, and it wasn’t me. I’m scared and honestly I’m having second thoughts about donating to someone who didn’t seem to value me as much as my brother.

When I discussed my feelings with A, she called me delusional and said that I had already promised our mother and our whole family. She reminded me that our mother had taken care of us after our father’s passing, and this was my chance to pay her back, and making my brother do it will only put her under additional stress.

I know that he is younger than me,but my mother’s reaction has made me reconsider my decision to go through with the procedure. I would prefer to be the donor instead of making my younger brother go through it, but now I feel unvalued and disposable. I feel petty and selfish knowing that she’s in life threatening condition while I’m thinking about my feelings but I couldn’t move past her reaction. I’ll probably end up doing it anyways though.

Is Singapore overpopulated to you?

Disclaimer: Just for discussion. No flaming and please respect the opinions of others.

I think most of the issues faced by Singapore today is due to overpopulation.

Healthcare: there’s always the issue about long waiting time or lack of beds. If we have a population that is smaller, there won’t be shortages right? HCWs facing burnout because they cannot cope with the load as well.

Housing: people are complaining homes are getting smaller. That is because we need to accommodate more people on this tiny island so homes are built smaller and closely packed to one another. Prices are also getting higher because demand exceeds supply..the limited land area of Singapore cannot accommodate too many people.

Quality of life: so hard to relax in Singapore when everywhere is so crowded. Trouble getting seats and facing long queues at food establishments. In addition, at any public space, you have to move slower because hoards of people are in your way.

So do you think Singapore is overpopulated?

Netizens’ comments

1. yes, in my opinion Singapore is overpopulated. Due to our small size, we are too densely populated.
   That is why although I can’t work from home, I do support WFH and hybrid measures so that less people take public transport and I would not need to squeeze with the crowd everyday.
   Also, with the overpopulation, the waiting time at polyclinics and hospitals are so long. And worse is when we can’t book appointments as demand is more then supply.
   I would love to go out more, but the sheer number of people in Orchard and other places of interest really puts me off due to the crowds, especially on weekends.
   But I guess all this is part and parcel of living in a small island city state. What to do? Born here, grew up here and even if I migrate (not planning tho) other countries might not accept me as one of their own.
2. just throwing some points out, but overall i do think its overpopulated.
   still many parcels of land in sg to be developed, e.g. paya lebar airbase and the entire northwest region. would be nice to have more WFH and mini-towns so that less people have to travel towards the central to work/play.
   world population might eventually start decreasing, already happening in china and they have many empty houses. without importing, our population would be declining as well.
3. Singapore is definitely over populated. I feel like soon there’ll be a brain drain from Singapore to the west or Europe. At some point our less taxes will not be as important as quality of life. I believe Singaporeans are just as adventurous as ang mohs but we’re just sick from something.
4. Based on population density for cities, Singapore doesn’t even crack the top 25. Not that it’s the sole measure but one way to gauge comparative ‘overpopulation’.
   The investments in hospital beds is lacking and government policy needs to be called out. We don’t compare well with other countries when you look at hospital beds or number of doctors per 1000 people.
   Government land bank and empty units is a measure. It tells you there’s isn’t a supply issue, it’s a policy issue on why people who ‘need’ houses can’t get one.
   On transportation, again, despite having one of the best transportation systems in the world, the MRT system remains far behind systems in Hong Kong or Tokyo in both carriage volume and reliability. Pace of expansion and coverage of residents could improve as well.
5. I see it more as a problem of the number of places we can go in this country being way too limited. The only thing we have here are malls and literally everyone flocks to them weekend or not. Even crossing over to Malaysia is a pain because of the number of people

The Guy 24/M I’m seeing doesn’t want to make our relationship official and I’m 22/F panicking. Should i break things off now or let it be?

So Ive 22/F have been seeing 24/M since January of this year. We haven’t been on dates with anyone else since we went out and have been spending a lot of time together, planning to go on holiday, and briefly met my parents (when he was picking me up to go out).

It’s been 6 months nearly now so I came out and asked him, “how come we aren’t official yet” and he replies with “I have a lot going on at the minute with work and moving house I don’t have the time”

even tho we spend so much time with each other and the way we are together you would think we were actually together, he calls me “the mrs” in front of his mates…

I said it’s just like a label and that it wouldn’t change anything, but he’s adamant he’s not ready. But I’m getting bad vibes, but maybe I’m over thinking it!

Do I break things off with him now as I’m petrified of getting messed around, or go along with the flow and risk getting hurt :(?

Netizens’ comments

1. As someone who was in this almost exact situation a year ago—leave him. You’ll find a partner that is so excited to be official with you, but only if you allow room for that person to come in.
2. If you want a fling, stay. If you want a relationship, move on. The man doesn’t see you as a girlfriend and another 6 months won’t change that. Don’t chase after people.
3. Please leave him. Don’t waste another minute on such an obvious loser who can’t even make your relationship official after 6 freaking months. Better to break up and focus on yourself. There are so many others out there who wouldn’t play around like this and actually love you and commit to you. Don’t allow someone to treat you like second rate.
4. I would ask him what he thinks official means and clarify what you think it means.
   Maybe you think it means: let’s keep everything the same except we’re checking the monogamy box.
   And he thinks it means : exchanging keys, moving in together, creating relationships with each other’s family. Making big life decisions like career choices together. Who knows.
   Clarify what level of commitment you both want and where you hope to be down the road. If one of you wants a picket fence and kids in 3 years and the other wants to be 100% career and travel, that’s a good indication on if this is worth continuing. If you’re both still figuring it out but it’s in the same general direction that’s good to know too.
5. You should tell him that being official is important to you. Ask him when he will be done moving house and when work will calm down. If he’s vague about it, he’s trying to have relationship benefits without commitment. If he cooperates and gives you a timeline of when he’ll be more available, then you can bring it up later.

Not wanting to split the bill?

I am out on a vacation with a friend.. It was supposed to be a 3 day trip. I usually eat only once a day and survive on coffee because of this new diet I’m trying.

He likes to eat in fancy places and everytime we go to a breakfast or lunch place he orders whatever he wants and I just get coffee.

When the times comes for bill he gets one bill and makes me transfer him half the account. It really pissed me off when he ordered almost 30$ worth of food and I just got coffee and had to send him 17$.

I called him out on this today and he called me petty for keeping tabs on small things despite of making 6 figure salary.

Netizens’ comments

1. That’s not how bill splitting should work and he has to know he is taking advantage.
2. You pay for what you order. From now on tell the server you’ll be needing two checks, then there is no argument. Just because you have enough money doesn’t mean you need to spend it on him, and he’s not being a good friend by assuming you’d be okay with this.
3. You should’ve stopped him the first time. Why did you pay?
4. Do this: as soon as a wait person shows up to take your order, ask “Is is possible for us to get separate checks?” (for 2 people, I’ve never had anyone say “No.”)
5. Next time don’t get the coffee when he’s with you; pick it up elsewhere. He doesn’t sound very nice. No wonder he needs a fancy breakfast every day—when it’s half price, it tastes better!
6. YOU are making a 6 figure salary. That doesn’t mean HE gets to have a cut of it.
   If you wanna get back at him, next time order something insanely expensive and then split the bill and tell him he’s just being petty for keeping tabs on small things.

My Parents Are Happy I Miscarried

I (24F) miscarried my beautiful baby about 6 months ago. He was unplanned and a product of a failed relationship.

The baby’s father (33M) and I tried to be careful, I took all my shots on time and I saw my gynaecologist often. My parents knew I was active in bed and although they weren’t happy about it, they were fine with it as long as I paid for my own birth control.

Early this year, I was so surprised when I found out I was five weeks pregnant. I told my parents immediately and they were disappointed in me for having a baby out of wedlock but eventually accepted that there was nothing they could do about the situation anyway.

I miscarried a few days after finding out I was pregnant. I felt like a failure. My baby’s father and I were absolutely devastated.

I went to my parents for solace as they experienced the loss of a baby too. All they said was that it was “meant to be” as I wasn’t married yet.

I’m gutted. It just sucks that they were secretly hoping for my baby to die. Or maybe they were relieved that it did. Idk.

Why did marriage matter? I just miss my baby. I just wish I were still pregnant. I wanted to meet my baby and hold him and tell him that we loved him. I’m sorry for rambling. I just don’t understand why people are happy my baby died.

Netizens’ comments

1. We are sad for you.
   As the nurse, I want to make sure that you know none of it was your fault. It was just supremely bad luck. You weren’t being punished, your parents are wrong for thinking the way they did, there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it, and it just wasn’t your fault.
   I’m so very sorry that you have to go through this. There are support groups if you feel like you need that.
   And I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy in the future if that is what you want. Take care of yourself.
2. I recently had a miscarriage as well, I was also a few days past five weeks along. I’m sorry you’re going through it too. Please feel hugged
3. This is heartbreaking, I hope you are able to grieve and move on in peace, you still have a whole life ahead of you

My(26F) husband (26M) used AI to create obscene pics of my friends.

My husband (26M) and I (26F) have been going through a really rough patch lately. We’ve been trying to open up to each other about our feelings and also talk about poor decisions we’ve made within the relationship.

Last night, he told me that he has gotten swimsuit pictures of my best friends as well as some girls from school, off of social media and used an AI website to remove the clothes. He said he has pleasured himself a few times to these images over the past few years.

He said he knows it is wrong and that’s why he wanted to tell me about it. We’ve honestly gone through so much and I’ve put up such a big wall over the years that I don’t even feel that mad right now. However, I just would like to know how people in marriages would feel about this.

Netizens’ comments

1. Yeah that’s very creepy and disrespectful to everyone
2. I’d want a divorce. That’s so messed up I’d plain fall out of love with him.
3. He’s disgusting. Tell any mutual female friends to delete him and secure their accounts so he can’t access them any more. Honestly, if possible, delete the pictures he has downloaded and created. What an a-hole Don’t stay with him.
4. In a marriage or not, that is WRONG. You should switch the situation around, and would he be okay with you having AI photos of his friends? This, to me, is another form of cheating. You need to stop and ask yourself if the marriage is even worth it anymore. Idk what all you have gone through, but consider looking at the pros and cons. Maybe that will help with your decision.
5. That is gross. It is an invasion. It is disrespectful to you and to your friends. It is creepy and weird. I would be not only uncomfortable, but highly offended at this behavior.
6. Totally creepy and disrespectful to you and your friends. Huge overstep.
7. As a guy im sorry i have to agree this is weird and gross. Its so gross I NEED a shower and thats based of second hand grossness.