Falling for someone you shouldn’t

After my last relationship ended 3 years ago, i told myself this was it, i want to go out and meet someone new. I could have picked a better alternative however.

Texted my mates if they were down for clubbing but they told me to go to sg’s famous commitment-less “happy” spot. It was my first time to geylang and it was on a weekend so I didn’t have much choices around here. I went with a few of my mates and were introduced to different houses with different girls. None really caught my eye because I’m pretty much here to accompany my mates rather than getting myself laid. No discrimination to the workers, they are also just doing their jobs. I just don’t feel like it.

While my mates were getting their junk pumped, i walked around casually until i was approached by a pimp. He told me he has the best girls around here(pretty sure that’s what he told all his customers anyway) and reeled me into his house to “look see look see” “don’t like don’t take” and so I stepped into his house with curiosity. I peeked around until i saw her, T. Not her tits, but her. T. She was smiling at me while the others were waving and asking me to “f” them. Not T. She was just sitting there and smiling at me. I was sold. Paid the pimp and was led into the room. That’s where it all began. I’m sure no guys has ever done this on their visit to geylang.

In the room, just as she was about to start stripping, i told her, I don’t want any service. Let’s just chat. She was caught off. She was like “chat? Talk? No seks?” No, no seks. Just talk as I assured her. You could immediately see the relief on her face. She told me to lay beside her, i did. We exchanged simple details, and i ask her if she’s tired? She doesn’t seem to understand english so she pulled out her phone for google translate. And yes she is exhausted. Then I told her, sleep. Yes i paid for her to rest. Pathetic i know. But I don’t feel a pinch, in fact i put her to sleep. I slowly caress her hair, and she was enjoying it. She put her hand on me, rubbing my face. I was just staring at her while she slept, and she slept like a doll. Maybe she was comfortable with me, i felt that she wasn’t protective against me. I held her hand, and whispered that everything’s going to be okay. I’m not sure if she understands me. At this point I don’t know what I’m doing, maybe i miss my ex too much idk.

She slept through our entire session in my arms. Time’s up, i woke her and told her that i have to go. She thanked me profusely and kissed me on both my cheeks. She then reached out for a hug, and i kissed her softly on her forehead. If anyone’s still reading up to this point you might be thinking that I’m bullshitting because no sane dudes would pay to just sleep beside a girl. Maybe I’m just pathetic like that. I asked her if i was her last customer for the night and she said maybe one more maybe not. I snuck her a $50 note and she looked at me with those eyes, i cannot resists please don’t do that. And we parted ways.

My mates caught me walking out of the house and they assumed i had “fun”, not until i told them about my experience with T that all they told me i might be the only customer to have ever done that. Everyone came here to have fun, and so i did. I had fun. Just a different kind of fun. I miss T. I kinda want to see her again but it’s an expensive hobby to do so. I’m leaving for Perth in a couple day’s time and i really hope before i go, i can catch a glimpse of T, just once more.

T, i know you won’t be seeing this here, but you’ve just been extraordinary even though it was short lived. I thank you too for just being right beside me. May you find your true happiness in time to come. You’ve made my night truly amazing. Thank you T. I’ll always remember you

As a Singaporean office worker, I was pretty surprised when I found out that overtime pay only covers workman. I knew that our nation had strict labor laws, but I had no idea that this was one of them. I understand that there are certain laws in place to protect workman, but I feel like office workers should have the same rights.

I have worked in a few offices here in Singapore, and I have noticed that working overtime without pay has become almost a norm. It doesn’t matter if you are a manager or an entry-level employee earning above a certain threshold, you are expected to put in extra hours when needed and not be compensated for it.

This creates a lot of stress and frustration for us office workers as we are often forced to work late into the night without being compensated adequately.

I think it’s unfair that office workers are not given the same rights as workmen when it comes to overtime pay. We put in just as much effort and hard work, yet we’re not given the same kind of protection. I think the Ministry of Manpower should look into this issue and make sure that office workers are given the same rights as workman when it comes to overtime pay.

It’s also important to understand why office workers are not given overtime pay. Some employers are simply trying to save money and don’t want to pay their employees extra for overtime. Others may not be aware of the law or simply choose to ignore it. This is why it’s important for us office workers to be aware of the law and ensure that our employers are following it.

Work OT or get fired

Unfortunately, many employers are not willing to pay overtime. I’ve heard of employers threatening to fire their employees if they don’t work overtime without pay. This is why it’s important for us to be aware of our rights and to stand up for ourselves if we are not given the pay we deserve.

Overall, I think it’s unfair that office workers are not given the same rights as workman when it comes to overtime pay. We put in just as much effort and hard work, yet we’re not given the same kind of protection. I hope that the Ministry of Manpower will look into this issue and create a law that provides office workers with the same rights as workman in regards to overtime pay.

I am a boomerang employee.

Yes, I regret returning to the Company. It was the place that broke me and I walked right back in.

I was naive. I thought that the management was (finally) appreciative of the effort I had been making and provided me with an opportunity for career development, boy did I know this was the start of yet another nightmare.

In order not to burn bridges, I am still here (to help out) but I can feel myself falling further into the dark hole day by day. Every other day, I question myself if I deserve all the disrespect and disappointment from the team, and whether it is worth it to continue putting in more effort than I am expected to or walking extra miles.

It sucks to feel this way because I expect myself to maintain good work ethics, yet I feel like the team of people I am “managing” don’t deserve my presence at all.

Grateful to have met a few wonderful ladies during this return, though. Basically the only factor that made my return feel worthy. 感恩。

Here are what netizens think:

• Am a boomerang employee too and did regret.. changed me to a different department god. It was terrible. Don’t know how I lasted another year after I returned back to the company honestly. Resigned the second time and management was so pissed but mental health is more important.

• If disrespect is what they are showing you, leave the company and them as though it’s a choice for you. Surround yourself with supportive people.

• 好马不吃回头草. It means a good horse never eats grass behind him… Since things aren’t working out, move on. The world is huge.

• I don’t believe in second chances….Whoever disappointed you once will disappoint you again. You are right, you are naive….but staying around to ‘help out’ is beyond naive….it’s actually stupid. You are wasting your time at a place you dislike….and u are giving yourself an excuse to do that…

Dating a guy for a few months now. He went to Siam diu with his friends for the first time and became uncontactable for a few hours, I was worried he got drunk and might get injured etc. After that, he claimed he fell asleep in the Thai club.

Should I be concerned? I never go Siam diu before, how is it like?

Here are what netizens think:

• How is it like? It is like a cafe. You are allowed to hang flowers on the walls

• I think flowers are hung over the pillows or watermelons or papayas…. No idea how u hang flowers on walls…

• Nothing to be concerned about — you either believe his shitty story or take it that he did sth you may not understand and decide to wrap it w some shitty story. First time hearing ppl falling asleep at Siam diu (imagine loud music, lots of sexy chiobu w half balls walking around socialising because they’re asking for flowers) Like a child who falls asleep at the playground, I’m guessing either he was bored (and would hence kill time) or he lay until too hard core Wait until he tells you he’s gonna go Siam diu again before you decide anything lor.

• How is Siam diu like? Shitty gasless beer. Crappy music. Polluted air, Gian the 3x tower promo all night

• He too busy having fun with the siambu. No hands to answer the call.

• Uncontactable for a few hours. If things happened had happened for what’s the point of finding out what had happened? Can you handle the truth if its not something you are willing to face? What if nothing happened? As long as he is sound and safe, isn’t that enough?

• It depends on his dialect, “Diu” can means something in mandarin but another in Canto… But a simple google shows that siam diu is actually library that opens till late. So no concern at all.

• Give him the benefit of doubt since is the “first time” and if he gian, want to go again, secretly book a table opposite him and see what’s he up to. Anyone who doubt their partner , go see with ur own eyes and see what they are really up to.

My friend is a classic example of someone who is caught up in the superficial world of material possessions.

He makes a salary of $2,500 a month, which should be enough to cover his basic living expenses and save a bit for the future. Instead, he insists on spending a large portion of his salary on a car, which he believes will attract women.

I’ve known my friend for several years and we’ve had many conversations about his financial situation. He’s always been a bit impulsive with his money, but this latest purchase is really taking things too far. He’s barely making ends meet and yet he’s convinced himself that a car is the best way to attract women.

It’s not like he doesn’t have other options. He could invest his money in something that would actually improve his financial situation, like stocks or a savings account. He could even use his money to start a business or pay off some of his debt.

But instead, he’s convinced himself that a car is the way to go.

To make matters worse, he’s taken on a loan to purchase the car. He’s already paying a high-interest rate and he’s quickly getting deeper and deeper into debt. I’ve tried to explain to him that the car won’t get him anywhere in the long run, but he refuses to listen. He’s so focused on short-term gratification that he can’t see the long-term consequences of his actions.

I’m worried that my friend is eventually going to crash and burn.

He’s already struggling to make ends meet and this new car isn’t going to help him in any way. In fact, it’s only going to make his financial situation worse. I just hope that he comes to his senses before it’s too late.

He say he is going to drive Grab to earn extra but he did it once and that was it.

All this is going to blowback to me when he wants to lend money. Knn, forever one.

Sometimes I am thinking if I should keep this kind of friend in my life.

Getting ghosted…for still having my v-card?

Me and a guy can be talking for MONTHS and the moment they figure out I’m still fresh they just disappear. Why does it even matter? It’s like they care more about it than I do…it’s honestly getting really ridiculous.

We were talking for months and everything seemed really well, he would text me every day and we were really getting to know each other and I really liked him.

But then we started talking about our body count and i told him I had none, the conversation died down and eventually he stopped texting me and just kinda disappeared.

If anyone could weigh in with their perspective, that’d be great because I just do not get it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Many reasons. They might just not want to wait for you. It’s really that simple. It could be more complicated like they feel pressured and scared.
   They know themselves and if they can’t handle it. It’s a good thing that they remove themselves. They don’t want to take advantage of you.
   They might think you want commitment and they can’t give you that. Idk them you should ask their perspective.
2. Are you getting ghosted for still having your v-card or for not wanting to lose it? I bet that could be the problem. You are “talking” to a guy for months? Which means not even seeing them just talking to them?
   They probably realize it’s been months and you are still just talking, it could take forever before you sleep with them.
   Maybe they just don’t want to invest that much time. Sure some people might not mind, but lots of people would want to move more quickly towards establishing a relationship than months and months of talking.
3. How old are you? That can make a difference. The younger you are, the more people think it is a big deal.
   What do you tell them about it and what are your intentions around it?
4. Think about it in a new perspective. If they get scared off it kind of seems like you dodged a bullet. That’s not a type of person you want to be with

Alright before I rant it out, I’d like to be clear to everyone that I have no offence against any jobs or occupations or careers here, as I’m just voicing out my personal opinions.

Having graduated from local uni for 3 years since the pandemic, I’ve worked for 2 companies, and I’d say they’re both pretty fulfilling, as I get to learn a lot of new skills, how to deal with clients especially problematic ones, liaise with customers, having courage to argue with my bosses whenever necessary, pretty much equipped myself with a lot of skills to upgrade myself.

However, some of my insurance agent acquaintances and friends who became these so called wealth planners or financial agents have been approaching me to persuade me to join them, telling me things like oh with your skills, you can definitely make it, you have the potential to become very successful, you can easily achieve MDRT within 1-2 year’s time based on your strong selling skills, blab la bla, so on and so forth.

Honestly I’ve met quite a number of insurance agents, be it from uni, from gym, from dating apps, from friends/acquaintances, and 90% of them graduated from private uni, are uni dropouts, or didn’t even complete go to poly/JC, and that is the main reason why I stay away from this industry.

They can be ah lian, girls who dress up as if they’re on catwalk, guys with tattoos that are easily noticeable. No offence guys, to me, there are plenty of other jobs that make a good living as well, and these jobs do require uni degrees such as lawyer, doctor, pharmacist, scientist, engineer, lecturer, teacher, merger and acquisition, corporate banker, etc.

I really don’t wish to waste my degree on a job that doesn’t need a degree AT ALL. Yes, if I do well, if I can sell, if I can maintain good relationship with client, if I can expand my network, I can make a ton of money from selling wealth plans and my degree is no longer important.

I get it, I’m totally aware of it. But from my stand point, I just don’t understand why people keep thinking that we must or more like we should join insurance to make money, I seriously don’t get it.

It’s just like prostitution, yes, it’s legal, you can make a living out of it, but I don’t enjoy the job so I don’t do it. In fact, I got so mad at one of them and told him straight to his face “eh any tom deek and harry can go join your prudential as long as they put on suit and tie, and can sell, stop trying to pull me in”.

Is it wrong for enjoying a career that requires a uni degree that I enjoy every single day? Frankly speaking, my preference to stay away from a career that is pursued by most less-educated people and unwilling to associate myself with similar people especially those who didn’t go to uni is really just a preference.

I don’t enforce anyone to follow my actions, I don’t discriminate them when I’m doing my job, and I certainly never think that it is wrong to pursue a career catered mostly to those less-educated.

In fact, in my previous job, I had to deal with any type of customers, and I had a great time talking to them for hours and meeting them for contract discussion outside office.

So guys, if any of your friends DO NOT want to join insurance, just stop forcing them to join. Just take it as we don’t fancy flexing our BMW and Rolex on the Gram can bruh???

How big of an age gap is acceptable for guys? Especially if the girl is older?

Last December, I went on a group tour with my family and there was a very cute guy but he is around 5 years younger than me.

He is a junior in the same course as me. I am much older than him as I took an unconventional track to uni.

During the tour, I realized that I can connect quite well with him and he is a decent person. I have been seeing him around the campus this sem and I realize that I may really like him.

He is very introverted and I am ok with initiating. He is still single but I am not sure if I am too old for him. In the past, I was quite disgusted by the thought of dating a younger boy.

But as he is mature for his age, I do not feel that he is that much younger. However, I do not know if I will freak him out and I am very hesitant to approach him or even to text him.

In this modern world, it is ok for girls to be older, but I wonder if 5 years is a bit too much?

Netizens’ comments

1. Depends, if you’re 21 and he’s 16 maybe he’s too young…
   If you’re 25 and he’s 20 it’s all good…
2. Mental age is more important than physical age. So as long as mentally can connect, physical shouldn’t be an issue.
3. Yes but make sure he calls you mommy
4. Yes, auntie. The age gap is acceptable.
5. The gap no longer matters as much as the feeling you get the moment you see him holding another girl’s hand.
   You’re dating for yourself, not for others. Come on.
6. I guess once you pass a certain age, the age gap don’t really matter much. You were saying you felt disgusted last time, yea for example a 17 year old dating a 12 year old is weird right? But 30 year old dating 25 year old? Not so weird right?

Been reading a lot of stories about being in the sandwich gen. i really feel for all of u..

i am the only child, and my dad is no longer working. their hdb mortgage still not paid and i am expected to just shoulder the entire remaining debt?? (<100k but still significant..)

on top of that i am forced to give my dad allowance every month ($600). he use the money on cigarettes, beer and travelling.

i have my upcoming bto to pay for as well.. and i’m so frustrated watching all my money just disappear!

i am trying to convince my parents to sell off the current hdb and downgrade to a flexi. or rent out the other room when i move out. but they refuse, saying they already used to it here, don’t like stranger in house etc.

hello! i myself am not earning much yet all my pay is going to the mortgage and ur allowance! i have to scrimp and save every cent, making me so stressed out everyday.

i have vowed that i will NOT be a liability to my future children. let’s end the sandwich situation in our generation ..

Netizens’ comments

1. Slowly we realised we no longer in a generation that can see children fulfill their filial duty taking care of our old age,  be realistic or buck-up to save money for raining days…
2. Treat the house like ur future investment la. Eventually when they pass on.. it be yours ma since you are the only child.
   Regardless you also need to give parents an allowance. Its not mandatory but just the filial right thing to do. All those years when they took care of you, paid your bills and school etc..
   im sure they wished they could have a forum complaining why they need to pay for their child and give allowance while also paying off mortgage for 30yrs haha.
   You are still living under their roof right…i suspect since you are complaining of this now.. you never gave a single cent and have been staying rent free all these years ya..
3. Rather than move out and pay rent elsewhere. Do ur filial duty here and they prob feeding and washing up for u. Once they pass on, u have to sell one of the flat anyway and enjoy e profits solo. Thank them later
4. You are one of the many thousands who are in this plight. Your parents have done a wonderful job to bring you up what you are today.
   We believe he has fought many storms to stay afloat all for the love of the family. He may gone through the rough and bumpy road during his time just like you.
   He has done his job as a loving father. It is your duty now as a son to take care of him. Whether you want to downgrade or consider renting from HDB is just the same.
   The pertinent point is you need a roof over your head, and your family, at all times. If you are able to service the mortgage through your CPF I would suggest you continue to do so.

I would like to share the story of me and my wife. Back when we were dating, she earned more than double my salary, and she still is now.

This income difference is possible, but not without difficulty. In my humble opinion, it is not an issue unless you both let it become one.

Example, if you are someone who wants expensive gifts from your partner, this could be an issue. My wife is not materialistic and doesn’t spend on luxury goods. I buy her gifts on birthdays, but not branded or expensive, because she prefer items that are sentimental.

We have kids and a house. My wife will pay more because she does earn significantly more. With this income difference its difficult to expect equal on everything, but your bf has to able to contribute where he can. Are you both ok with A) you being the key person bringing and managing finance in the family, B) your partner not being able to financially support the family as much as society expects him to?

When we were dating I was also earning about 2-3k, and it was only because my wife didn’t want proposal and wedding, I was able to save up and take a diploma course and changed to a new industry that pays better. Now that you’re dating you may not think much of the income difference, but when marriage, house, kids come in, both of your expectations have to align.

My wife, although she earns and manages our household finances, she will still seek my opinion when it comes to making decisions, and I appreciate it. She still makes me feel valued though she doesn’t need my money, and I think this is important.

Family and friends could also be an issue. My wife’s family was very against me because I was not a local u grad like her, and I was a 2-3k earner. But after they realised that I’m the person she is happy with, it doesn’t matter anymore.

I used to think that as a man you need to be the one to provide for the family, and by that standards I’m not good enough. My wife, she will tell me that I have my own strengths and things that I’m better at than her, so I really think I struck gold with her in this lifetime haha.