What’s a good way to hang out with colleagues / friends without spending too much money?

It seems that socialising these days revolves around food and dining out in restaurants. Or happy hour drinks.

Personally, I am not a fan of eating out as I cook (rather well) and I’m quite satisfied with just eating my own home-cooked food. I haven’t been asking my friends out because I know it’ll be us going to cafes or whatever. I also prefer to buy my own wine bottle / alcohol and just drink at home.

I’m not stingy (used to spend >$100 per night out when I was younger but now trying to be more financially responsible). Hmm I’m curious what do people on budget do?

(I’m also renting with my partner so my overhead monthly costs are higher than my peers + I had zero income during the pandemic when I was a post-grad student so just now slowly getting back to being financially stable)

Netizens’ comments

1. Go walking at an nparks nature trail. Walking is free and can talk a lot. And many sedentary office people appreciate a chance to be active and healthy for one morning. Usually will still end with lunch lah, but it’ll tend to be more down to earth places like prata or chicken rice, not nice restaurants.
   Can also host people at your house. Can be pot luck style everyone dabao, or you only need to buy snacks, etc.
2. We just hang by playing board games at minds cafe and the likes. Food is blah but loads of laughter while playing games
3. Picnics? You can cook and prepare the meal and still be outside. Just being portable fans if it’s hot. Can go Marina Barrage.
4. I’m also the stay at home type lol, based on my experience, once you have your own home or your friend owns a home & especially before having kids, people tend to gather at home. Less hassle. But might not be cheaper if you order food, so need to be conscious about the budget.
   For going out options, i second the nparks walks. Or going for free museum exhibitions? When i had relatives visiting from overseas, i realized that the marina bay/merlion area was really nice with excellent view n u can take lots of great pictures n u don’t have to spend money. I think i never really thought of going there cos it’s something tourists do. But again need to make sure you go to hawker center or cheaper places for meals before/after lol

Kicked out for turning down a hook up and it really hurts

Last night I was hanging out with a friend when we started getting intimate. We’re both 21. It was our second time hanging out, and I have known her for quite some time because she was dating a friend for almost a year.

Anyways, we were making out in a pool and she told me she wanted to f me, and I tried to explain to her that I was super flattered and think she’s attractive, that I usually wait a bit longer because I’m shy and I get anxiety and deal with some trauma, and I just prefer to warm up to someone, and would be down in the future if we kept hanging out.

She had brought up her own trauma before way more than me so I thought it was cool. She got really quiet and had us immediately go back to her place, and then she suddenly asked me to leave, point blank and super coldly, and she hasn’t texted me since.

It hurt pretty bad because this has happened to me a few times before and it feels like nobody wants to associate with a man with pain.

It feels like I’ll never meet someone who’s just willing to wait before f-ing each other and that I’ll be stuck in this cycle of anxiety forever.

This has definitely made my anxiety worse. I don’t know what to do, I feel hopeless. I feel like giving up.

Netizens’ comments

1. Sounds like you’re a genuinely good guy. Stay the way you are. The problem is with these emotionally stunted girls you hang out with. No one (male or female) should pressure anyone into doing something they don’t want to.
   I’ll also add, having a genuine connection with someone makes for a better experience too. You’ll find the person you’re looking for.
2. I think you may have answered your own question. Perhaps she has her own hangups and let her guard down with you, only to be turned down, so the feeling of rejection was a little more than she could handle.
   Not fair of her to put that on you or not explain herself, but it would also be understandable.

My (40M) husband (38M) was unfaithful and doesn’t want to cut contact with the affair partner

We have had an agreement that we can hook up (safely) with others if the opportunity arises, so semi-open in terms of our relationship.

That said, we agreed to the caveat that we would not maintain ongoing relationships with others outside of our relationship…essentially random occasional hook-ups only.

My husband violated that rule last year and I caught him. He promised he would cut it off and stop talking to that woman. But just six months later I found out they were still in contact but supposedly not meeting up or having any kind of physical relationship.

A couple of months ago I found out he was doing it again with another woman. He claims it was not a relationship yet he spent the night at her house multiple times and I came to find out that he was f-ing them raw without protection.

I told him I’m done and we’re done.

Now he wants to work on it and says he has cut off the physical part of his relationship with the second woman but that they are friends and he won’t cut contact.

They still text/chat and meet up at the gym and work out together. He doesn’t see it as a problem and says he won’t be controlled and that I can’t tell him who he can and can’t be in contact with.

I let him know it’s not about control just about my boundary. If he needs and wants to be friends with that woman so damn badly then he will not have me anymore.

I’m really hurt and disappointed that this friendship Is more important to him than our 15 year relationship but I guess it is what it is.

I was at work and started feeling symptoms of a heart attack I continued to work through it until I almost passed out.

I drove myself to the hospital because I can’t afford an ambulance bill. Was just a panic attack and strained muscles.

Went to return to work today and was told I can’t enter the building and have to talk to HR on Monday and see if I get to keep my job.

9/10 everyone who ends up in that situation at my job gets fired, luckily I just paid my rent and a few other bills i needed to but I need a job ASAP incase I’m fired. Any tips? And any small side hustles I could do to get a little money while I hunt for a new job.

Edit: just some clarification for the comments. Yes I have had to leave work a few other times, it’s a factory we work 10 hours a day for 6-7 days a week, had covid once got an occurrence for that, headaches twice, back pain 1 times.

I appreciate all the insight about the job, suing them, going to the news etc but I just really want to be able to have a new job in time for my car payment and utilities.

Anyways the biggest point of this post isn’t supposed to be about the s–t work conditions at my job and mistreatment but more of advice on getting a new job ASAP

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t sign anything to get your final paycheck – by law they have to give it to you anyway. If you’re getting fired, you shouldn’t sign anything at all in my humble opinion . I am, however, not a lawyer.
2. I have asthma and several years ago while working for an employer in a busy office setting, I had a severe attack and couldn’t breathe. I also lost my bladder and urinated through my pants. Instead of assisting me, I had a manager reprimand me. She told me that the next time in have an attack, I should get up and go outside so as not to disturb anyone. The office was on the 7th floor and the exit doors were far from my desk.
   Had I not been so jarred from the attack, I probably would have told her to f off. But, I needed the job and was in a state of shock. It’s terrible how some people treat others in the workplace. I hope you find a better place to invest your time into.
3. If they fire you, don’t sign anything and demand termination in writing with an explanation of the cause. If they refuse record yourself saying, you are telling me I am fired for an undisclosed reason. Then leave.
   Don’t threaten to sue or get angry, just go straight to a lawyer.

I’m a multimillionaire and when my family visits i rent an apartment to pretend that’s where i live

It all started when I went to study abroad and after graduating i landed a job. The first thing i did after getting accepted was call my mom.

The first thing she asked was “how much are they paying you?”. I shouldve known then but i was too young i don’t blame myself. I told her my salary…

My parents automatically thought i was now “rich” and their behavior changed.

For once, they insisted i treat them with my first paycheck and pay for them to visit me. I naively did, and they didnt spend one cent for the whole month they “visited” me. Looking back at it they didnt care much about me, they just wanted a free vacation and made me their tour guide/atm/etc…

This became a pattern, where they expected me to regularly pay for them to “visit”, they started telling other family members that they should visit me and that i’ll take care of them.

When i visit back home, they’d expect me to bring them lots of gifts and pay everytime we went out… They even started telling me that i should contribute and pay for my siblings’ uni tuitions.

Funny thing when i was still a student i worked 2 jobs to support myself, and they barely texted/called me. When i got that job, i’d suddenly wake up to good morning texts and they’d call regularly lol.

I slowly started realizing how toxic these people were and that i should draw some boundaries. So i slowly stopped calling/texting, i stopped updating them about my life, etc… i decided they didn’t deserve to know me.

When the pandemic hit i was just starting my business and working from home gave me more time to focus on it. Gradually my business became more lucrative until i was able to quit my job.

I kept reinvesting in my business then i started investing in other businesses. During this time i told my family i lost my job and i was struggling. They immediately stopped reaching out and unless i called i never heard from them.

Fast forward today, i am so blessed and grateful to be financially at ease. To protect myself, i told my family i found a job but it doesnt pay much and the cost of living is high.

Now when they visit, they pay for their own flights, and they don’t go out much lol. I also rent a small apartment and tell them that’s where i live (i actually live in a penthouse). I use public transport with them, idc if it takes 2 buses and 2 trains unless they wanna pay for a cab that’s what we’re doing.

I keep 2 suitcases packed with all my old clothes and i keep 3 boxes with all my usual dinnerware, books, etc. When i know they’re visiting i tell my assistant to find an apartment in x neighborhood and put my old stuff there. I tell them i changed apartments and i rent furnished ones cause they’re cheaper. So far they absolutely have no clue.

Now i still like my family and i don’t want to completely cut them off, i like having them around and it’s fun for me too. Nobody knows about this and it’s not like i can share this with people i know in real life.

Right now i’m writing this while sleeping on the floor of my living room in my “apartment”, my bedroom and couch are taken by family members. I will never tell them and they will always know me as that poor family member struggling abroad.

I(35M) just discovered lingerie stashed in my wifes(35F) suitcase and she leaves next week for a trip
Wow, where do I begin on this one.

Me and my wife have been together over a decade and have 2 young children together. Things have been, from my perspective, fairly great recently.

She’s currently at work, and has her suitcase sitting beside the bed. Well, I ended up kicking it over on the way to the bathroom, and when I got back I noticed a lacy item hanging out of one of the inner pockets.

Checked it and sure enough, there’s 5! outfits in there! I checked the closet after discovering this, and there were two outfits still hanging in there where they normally are.

Now, this isn’t any normal lingerie/bra and panties/sleek nightie type deals. This is lingerie. You wouldn’t wear this around family, or for any reason other than… well… f-ing. The 5 outfits that are in there are the best ones… so it’s not like they just made it in there accidentally.

Its a weird scenario, because she’s flying with her family and our two children.

If I’m being entirely honest, over the past month or two I’ve noticed her seemingly hiding text messages and whatnot occasionally.

Its not that it didn’t tingle my spidey senses, but there was a combination of 1. if she was in fact stepping out, I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I noticed and 2. maybe its just a coincidence.

Seeing the lingerie, now I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t coincidence.

I need a game plan on how to approach this. I feel like waiting until she leaves to make sure the lingerie leaves with her is ideal… because asking beforehand, she could just deny and toss it back in the closet.

Obviously I’m not going to bring it up while she’s gone, but once she gets back its going to need to be brought up.

I’m not crazy right… I mean, this is on par with me leaving for a trip with a box of condoms in my suitcase, isn’t it? I’m not overreacting?