He didn’t use to be like this. We got married when we were both 25, now we’re 33 and he’s gone from around 80kg to over 200kg he has been ordering food from home every day every meal and even after meals,

Grab Food, Food Panda, Deliveroo. You named it he is probably a member or something.

Looking at him fills me with horror and despair. He may as well have been diagnosed with terminal cancer because his size is going to have the same result sometime in the next 10 years if he doesn’t stop. In my heart I no longer believe my husband will be here by the time I’m 50.

His medical problems so far:

• A mini-stroke from a blood clot
• Abnormal heart palpitations
• ER visits both of those times
• Extremely high blood pressure
• Extremely high cholesterol
• He had diabetes (didn’t check his levels or take insulin as directed until I began reminding him)
• Inability to walk much (uses a scooter sometimes)
• Joint pain
• Lymphedema in one of his legs
• sleep apnea and has to wear a CPAP machine at night so he won’t literally die from not breathing
• I manage the scheduling of five different medications that he takes regularly or he wouldn’t remember/not care/I don’t know.

His diet:

• Fast food all from Grab Food or Whatever food delivery service Mcdonald’s, Burger King, local food, KFC, popeyes, Domino’s, Dunkin donuts, pizza hut, A&W.
• Also gets all this delivered from Grab Food whenever he feels like it, which is at least once a day. He even does it in the middle of the night.
• Everything else is just junk food like chips and other packaged snacks. All sorts of candy. Ice cream. Baked desserts. Frozen/microwave food like breakfast trays and sausages, burrito’s, easy mac, basically anything you could find at a convenience store.
• All his meals are full of sugar, frying oil, butter, fat and grease, just the worst ingredients that are exactly what he needs to stop eating.

We’re both WFH right now. I’ve watched him for a few days this week keeping a record of everything he ate (that I saw–if he ate at night or when I was in another room, I missed those) and then looked up the approximate caloric value of every item. Every single day was AT LEAST 10,000 calories. The worst day was a little over 14,000. A sedentary male of his age and height needs around 2500/day, just for comparison.

I. Am. Terrified… that I’m going to be burying him, possibly before we even reach our 50’s and get to enjoy old age together. I’m terrified I’m going to have to see the person I love most in the entire world die from a long, drawn out, painful accumulation of treatable illnesses. And some days I wonder if I’m not already watching that, in slow motion.

I have asked him so many times to please, please eat healthier. He will…he eats the healthy meals I make, but then he STILL eats junk food after. Or orders a second fast food dinner with Grab Food. He doesn’t get it’s not enough to combat the damage to his body.

I’ve also begged him to go to the doctor. He only goes when something is catastrophically wrong.

What should I do? Can I locked him up somewhere.

Advise on Property Agent backing out on what was said
Hi, I would like to get some advise as above

When we engaged our property agent (we are buying a resale flat), the agent mentioned that the payment can be done by installment.

Now the completion date is approaching and the agent is asking for payment in full. She denies that she had mentioned installment plan and is now changing the story saying that property agent’s fee are not supposed to be paid by installment.

The thing is, we do not have proof that she said so. Being first time buyer, I did not think of getting it written black and white (I regret it deeply).

We agreed to engage this agent because she said she accepts installment but since it’s a he say she say situation. I would like some advise?

Thank you in advance.

Info: we are planning to use most of our cash on home renovation therefore we do not want to drop the lump sum on the agent’s fee and the agent had been well aware of that on the first day we signed her agreement

UPDATE!! –> Best outcome that I did not expect. The agent got back to me and was surprisingly nice about getting payment done in installment.

I was initially taken aback because she changed her attitude in a 180 degree manner.. After thinking about it,, I recalled that she had taken a voice recording of our agreement on engaging her as our agent.

Thank you to those who had given constructive advice and different point of views.

Netizens’ comments

• Few agents I know willing to accept installment, they live on commission. Property Agents are generally greedy mofos, never trust what they say unless you have it on paper or electronically. Two options for you.
  • Simp: Pay in full, take loan for your Reno
  • Chad: Ask agent to accept installment payment as agreed or pull out of the deal
  • A-hole: Complete the transaction of the house, agree to pay in full, but pay in instalments
• Usually you have to sign a contract with the agent on the commission, read it carefully, you have to pay in full, but should say when you can pay by and it’s not worth it to them to chase you for commission via litigation especially if you are willing to pay, you can always negotiate payment terms after the deal is done.
  Trump-style: Invite seller and agent for signing of the agreement and option, before signing off, insist the agent take installments. There is pressure on seller and agent to sell, so use that as leverage. But you must be willing to walk away.
  Hope that helps
• Hi. Property Agent here.
  U can pay partially for as long as u need as long as the company doesn’t initiate legal proceedings against u (they won’t if you don’t take too long to complete the payments) They will generate reminder invoices if the agent asks the company to (she won’t) If it takes too long without payment, the company will ask the agent and his director if they want to initiate legal proceedings.
  But generally, do remember that the agent’s only source of income is commissions from their clients. Will you take your salary on instalments? That said, if the agent did say that she can accept instalments, then she shouldn’t go back on her word.

Hello all,

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I recently tried meeting girls online but didn’t have much success due to not being 1 in 10,000 handsome and super tall and having chiselled abs and stuff.

I noticed a lot of girls had stuff in their profile like swipe right only if you’re 180cm+ and such, which is really hurtful to me because I’m 169cm and this is just unnecessarily mean.

My boss (~62) is about to retire and has lamented to my colleagues about how much he saved. (He also feels tethered to work to maintain his health insurance because he and his spouse are facing some health issues.

He’s always been very frugal and just socked away as much as he could. I’m of a similar mindset, so I was surprised to hear that he’s “saved too much.”

Unfortunately my colleagues aren’t very financially-minded, so when I asked what he could mean by that, they say something vague about him being in a higher tax bracket.

They are now all very careful not to “save too much” and warn me against my frugality and saving habits. They say that ultimately good savers get punished by the system.

I wonder if his regret is centered around making too many sacrifices throughout his life for the sake of saving, and now facing health issues, realizing he should have enjoyed life more as a younger man.

But I was also wondering if there are real financial reasons why I shouldn’t try to max out my retirement accounts and just stick with saving ~20% (starting at age ~30).

Netizens’ comments

1. I could definitely see regretting not doing enough with my life.
   I can’t really see it as logical to say you “saved too much” though. Spending more is easy and immediate if you want to. Or leave it to someone or a good cause.
2. There is a balance to be had. One of the reasons I want to retire early (around age 50) is I know several people who retired and can’t travel anywhere they planned to because of mobility problems. Can’t take the hike to the scenic view because of bad knees. Things like that.
3. Indeed there is a balance.
   I have chosen to purchase a condo and a car that weren’t the most “frugal” choices (yet still affordable). Why? Because I wake up everyday in saying “OMG I can’t believe I live here. OMG I can’t believe that’s my car!”.
   I want to be intentional about thinking long term, saving investing for the future, etc. I also want to not have to wait until I retire to enjoy life. So in my mind these were fair trade offs.

I’ve been wondering if living in a condo is worth it (as compared to HDB).

I’m considering purchasing my first home (with my partner) and we’re contemplating between these two properties. We’re earning enough to live comfortably in a condominium. We don’t have an active social life (so we’re always home) and rarely go to the gym.

Any advice? I would appreciate an honest opinion! Thank you! (:

Also, may I ask, how much should the combined income be to “live comfortably”? I’ve been getting different opinions, so I’m genuinely wondering.

Here are what netizens think:

Is the swimming pool or supermarket more important?

Most new HDB have really good amenities that condos may not have – like 24hrs supermarts, fast food chains, bakeries, etc. I am talking about amenities that provide basic needs like food or convenience. Pools and gym are luxuries. I cant imagine paying more for less (lesser living space and convenience).

Condos are very expensive

Condos are very expensive. For perspective – the massive five-room loft unit at Dawson sold for 1.32 million – and that’s close to the asking price my partner is putting out for his low floor condo that is less than half the size of that Dawson unit. And to be honest his neighbourhood, while generally considered affluent, doesn’t have much in the way of amenities.

My partner is always super happy when he comes over to my place in a very mature HDB estate – because you can get any daily necessity you require within 5 minutes. And that’s a big reason why my partner and I have decided that our new house is going to be a huge five-room flat in an older HDB estate…property agents and friends all say it’s a downgrade but to us it’s a no-brainer, even if our combined incomes could afford a condo.

Most of the time people don’t even use the condominium amenities

I think if youre not gonna use condo facilities then just get HDB. I’m assuming if you can buy condo means you have $$$, if i were you i would buy 4 or 5 room and renovate to my desired style.

Condominium has it’s upsides

Ive stayed in landed, condo and hdb before. Still prefer condo over the other two. Parking is so much easier just below the block and totally sheltered. Dont need fight with people at multi storey cp. Security is good especially at night when you come home dont have random people sleeping/smoking at void deck. No PAP/WP/random ppl knocking on your door and scare you. Lifts are also much cleaner.

Smaller sqm doesn’t mean reduced quality of life. To me it means easier to clean and less reno needed to makeover the place. Better than landed cos dont need climb stairs to my room everyday. Last time when i was thirsty i just tahan cos lazy to go down to the kitchen to take water loll.

(24F) feel like I’m a crazy girlfriend.

My BF (26M) and I are busy with work during the weekdays, and we meet only during the weekends. But, we do spend some time at night together, like watching series on Netflix, but not every day.

Here’s the problem. Whenever we decide to watch a drama or movie, he will take his time to bathe, play his phone games, and sometimes even nap. Because of that, we can watch a maximum of 1 episode or a movie and we will head to sleep cause he says tired, and the next day he needs to work.

But, when it comes to playing computer games with his friend (girl), he can rush to eat, bathe, and play until midnight even though there is work the following day.

He is also, to a certain inflexible… For example, once I texted him to do a certain activity with me, but his friend (girl) texted him 5 minutes earlier to play the game. It’s not like he replied to her then I asked. He saw both our messages at the same time and told me he’d play with his friend since she asked first. I just wish he would prioritize me at that point.

To be honest, I feel jealous and I feel that I weigh lesser than him. I want to voice it to him about this but I feel that he will view me as a crazy girlfriend because once their friend said she is one of the “boys” and she got a boyfriend too-when his friend’s GF voiced out that she is jealous.

Not sure if my feelings are valid or if I’m the crazy girlfriend?

Is there any advice on how not to feel this way or how I should open this topic to my BF without him feeling like I’m the crazy girlfriend?

Here are what netizens think:

• High chance of many more underlying reasons why he would rather prefer to do something else with his friends be it guy or gal.

• Example: they are friends and there is no expectations from the other party, but there is certain expectations that he feels that you may have? The quality of playing games with friends could relive stress.. but activities with you could be more stressful than relaxing?.. coz of, again, your expectations?

• Find more guy friend. Chat with them. Go out and eat with them. Tell him you are too busy for him. And is time to shift out. Not together with him. Make yourself unavailable

• Bf is either crazy for the game or crazy for the friend. Either way, he doesn’t seem that crazy for you.

• A man who’s more interested in playing online games rather than playing with you, needs to dumped so he has more free time to indulge in his hobbies.