We need to start the thread called AIM I THE PROBLEM(AITP) since there’s already a AITA thread in reddit.

My husband is someone non confrontational, meek if u want to call it, nice guy to make it sound better and generally soft spoken.

I on the other hand am the complete opposite, im loud and not afraid to confront, nice girl too i need to add this. I wasn’t raised to be like this so I believe it’s because of how he is I had to “woman up”. I became protective and fierce, I became his voice even if necessary.

18 years together n he has never once once stood infront of the auntie who pushed me aside just get ahead of the line and ask her to F off, not that I’ll ask her to F off too but telling me to live and let live and said I’m overreacting instead. But maybe it is my fault because he knows I can handle it all own my own, maybe he thinks I’m capable of throwing hands so he just need to stand back n watch since I’m so “independent”.

So an incident happened recently and it made me rethink my marriage. Rethink our 18 years. Perhaps enough is enough, perhaps I just need someone to take my side.

A friend of ours raised his voice at me because he assumed I did something but my husband was the one who did that something. I was shocked, embarrassed and pissed he would talk to a grownass woman that way. I proceeded to calmly yet curtly addressed the situation without getting all worked up and when he realised it was a misunderstand that said friend just bashfully smile n retreat. Not even an apology.

We reached home I asked my husband why did he do that. Why didnt he 1. Ask that friend to stfu n don’t talk to me in that tone 2. Didn’t even admit he was e culprit who did that thing and just kept quiet the whole time. He laughed in my face and ask me if I’m okay, the incident was hours ago and it was “nothing”, that friend was just talking he didn’t even raise his voice n best, “nothing to admit what”.

I flipped because he said I’m overreacting. I’m OVERREACTING when that friend raised his voice at me and the room went silent. It was awkward but nothing to my husband.

I woke up today really thinking about the life we have, am I able to continue living with this man who likes to be in the shadows of his peers, who prefer to be unnoticed and unheard, who rather let his wife fight her battles, whose food is served wrongly but when the waiter ask how r things he smiles n says GREAT. What is so great about a grilled dory when u ordered steak?

Am I the problem though seriously?

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My GF invited her friends to the house for some girls’ time last Sunday.

In order not to disturb them, I spent my afternoon outside to give the ladies space and privacy. When I texted my GF that I was going home, my GF called me and asked me to buy one of her friends a box of tampons on my way back.

I reminded her if her friend needs she could give her some of her own tampons as I recall there were plenty in the house, but GF insisted on me buying a brand new box specifically for her friend. I could hear laughter and some chattering in the background and realized that her friends were nearby, listening to our conversation and making fun of it.

I asked if her friends set her up for this and she insisted it wasn’t, that I could just buy a box of tampon for her friend like I’d do for her. I heard more chattering and giggling and felt like a target of some sort of prank, social experiment or tiktok. I then stood my ground and said that I am going home, I am hungry and I won’t be buying any tampons on my way back. Things were a little awkward when I reached home and later my girlfriend said I embarrassed her in front of her friends, that a decent guy should not be embarrassed to buy tampons.

I told her I wouldn’t mind buying for her but I see no need to play along with her friends to prove that I am a “decent” guy. 

Here are what netizens think:

• The gf also lied about sharing the call with her friends. They are immature and shallow.

• You are under no obligation to make you GF look good to her giggling lemmings. I’m female and deal with it monthly and wouldn’t have bought them for her. I also would never ask my husband to buy them for a friend just to prove he would.

• honestly it may not be the action itself that he has a problem with as he’s stated, it may just be the fact that the man’s partner was trying to test them for no good reason other than to save face in front of her friends. i think the ask itself was reasonable until it was made clear that it wasn’t for necessity but rather for show

A little background. My brother and his girlfriend all live together. They both lost their jobs from covid and housing is expensive so I offered to let them live with me. I own my house and they both pay me a small rent. They have been great roommates except this one thing.

I am a little bit of a paranoid person and when I was renting out before, I bought a camera for my room to make sure no one goes in there. It is pointed at my door. I used to always leave my door closed but now that I rent to my brother and his gf I just leave it open because I trust them more.

I don’t usually check the camera but a couple days ago out of curiosity I did and I saw my brother’s gf walking down the living room naked. I checked previous footage and saw her doing it all the time. I felt disgusted that she was walking around my home like that.

So when she got home from work that day I confronted her about it and said that it was nasty seeing her naked and not to do it anymore. She was angry and asked how I knew she was walking around naked because she never does it when I’m home. I think this is probably true because I work a regular 9-5 and come home for lunch at the same time every day. So she would know when I am home and when I’m not. But anyway I told her that I have a camera in my room and it saw her walking around naked almost every day. This made her even madder and she said she never would have done that if she knew I had a camera. She said it was like I was trying to see her naked on purpose.

Now this made me mad and I told her that if I saw her do it again I would reconsider letting her live here. She said what’s the big deal if I’m not even home and to just take down the stupid camera. I told her that it was my house and my room and my rules and I can do whatever the hell I want. She stormed off after this and hasn’t talked to me since.

I guess she texted my brother about it because when he got home he blew up at me. I thought I was in the right here but my brother and I always get along and now that he’s mad at me I’m questioning if Im in the wrong?

This happened last week, I told my husband, I was planning on having a girl’s night in at home and he initially was like “No not here…get a hotel or something” I said I couldn’t afford a hotel + no need for a hotel. He asked if he could join us if he’s going to allow it, but I said no, this isn’t how girls night work. He eventually agreed to let me have it and even said he’d go out so my friends could be comfortable.

I invited the girls over and most of them had a lot of heavy venting to do, at some point things got a bit emotionally charged and there was crying, lots of it. After that we brought in the food and drinks, When I went to turn the TV on, I spotted a small device tucked on the side, I took a look and found that it was actually a voice recording device, I was in disbelief, I knew my husband put it in there to listen to our private talk which felt highly violating.

I didn’t hide it from the girls, I showed them the device, called my husband to get him to get home and confronted him right there in front of the girls. The girls were shocked and my husband denied it after I flipped out and called him out, then said he was feeling curious to know about what we were talking about and wanted to make sure we weren’t “trash” talking him specifically. The event was cut short and the girls left.

I kept lashing out at him for ruining the night and possibly my relationship and trust with my friends, I said that not only did he violate my privacy but my friends’ as well. because they were talking about very personal stuff, He argued that it was no big deal, That I should’ve let him join us if we “had nothing to hide” and that this was ON THEM for opening up about private matters to begin with. He went on to talk about how I humiliated him to call him out infront of my friends, I told him they deserved to know who he really is after what he’s done. We argued some more and he went out again.

We’re in conflict till today and I feel like I made a mistake calling him out like that aside from how I felt about it. He claims that my friends will no longer respect him after that.

What should I do?

Think my weight made my partner go flaccid during our bedroom session.

I (20F) am super embarrassed about my weight and making my (26M) boyfriend flaccid.

Just to put this out there, I’m not obese or particularly heavy. I’m 80KG. I am working to lose weight, but it’s obviously a process.

This happened last night, where me and me are my partner were getting to it. We were in missionary and he wanted to change position, and that’s fine.

Essentially he tried to pull me into this sort of cow girl position, as in he’d sat up, put his legs down and then tried to pull me into his lap to do our business that way.

I’d never been in this position before (I should probably mention, I’m really not experienced. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just under 2 years and he was my first everything!)

Since I’d never been in this position before, I didn’t know how to move. I tried, but it just wasn’t… working for me, and I don’t think it was working for him either.

After that we moved into standard cowgirl with me on top but he was totally flaccid and we couldn’t continue (I did try to get him going again) but we spent the rest of the night cuddling.

My partner says he just wasn’t feeling it, but I think the awkwardness of him trying to pull me into that position and getting me to move totally killed the mood…

He’s always said he loves my body, and reassures me that I’m beautiful but this has just made me really self conscious about my weight.

I know he’s not done anything wrong but I’m just venting. I am actively losing weight which I’m happy with, I just wish it would come off quicker to avoid embarrassing situations like this!

My (38f) husband (38m) is not as attracted to me as he was and I’m struggling with that

My husband gave me the silent treatment and I didn’t know what I did. Finally he said he was processing things about our relationship.

This gave me a lot of anxiety because I didn’t know what. Finally he wrote to me and said he wishes I valued appearance, exercise, tone etc as they’re important to him but he’s now able to accept that is just the way I am.

I got the impression before his attraction to me was waning and I do need to lose some weight and tone up, but I am feeling so hurt my libido has tanked and I don’t even want him to see me without clothes anymore.

How can I be comfortable feeling confident and attractive with someone who has judged my body and found me lacking? I appreciate the honesty, but it hurts and right now I resent him.

I feel so ashamed about myself and my body I can’t imagine being happy to sleep with him now. How do I fix how I feel?

Netizens’ comments

1. He quit talking to you randomly and then sends a text indicating that?
   If you don’t want to sleep with him right now, don’t. Tell him his words made you feel like he’s not attracted to you any longer and made you feel like crap.
2. The last three times a friend has shared her partner saying something eerily similar- turns out they were sleeping with someone else.
3. Some other people mentioned it but the silent treatment along with him texting you how he feels about you attraction wise seems to indicate that he’s cheating, or looking elsewhere.
   At this point if you were to completely change your appearance I don’t think it would matter to him but what would matter to YOU?
   What do you want to do with this information for yourself. Are you happy with yourself? Do you feel good about yourself? To hell with how he feels about you, how do you feel about yourself?

I (32m) walked in on my girlfriend (24f) cheating with a guy (39m) she told me not to worry about. Should I tell the guy’s wife about it?

Walked in on my ex-girlfriend and this guy in our apartment at the beginning of the month. She had been telling me not to worry about him since the beginning of our relationship a year and a half ago, but admitted to sleeping with him on a camping trip in June and a few times after that.

He is married with a pregnant wife. I don’t know if he’s told her that he sleeps around or if she knows, but I doubt it.

I looked her up on Facebook and am thinking about messaging her. I’m angry, and a lot of it is revenge, but I think that someone in her position would like to know that information.

Should I tell this guy’s wife about his affair?

Netizens’ comments

1. If someone had known your girl was cheating on you would you like to know?
   You could have avoided walking in on them if you had known about the camping trip when it happened.
2. For what reason would you possibly be thinking of not telling her???? It’s crazy to me that people actually sit here and won’t tell other people that their health is being put at risk- never mind the health of an unborn baby.
   If you are remotely any kind of decent person you would always tell the partner what’s happening. If you are the kind of person who doesn’t tell-you have the same kind of morals and levels of integrity as the cheaters themselves.
3. Yes tell her!! She has every right to know and who knows what he has been doing behind her back. They both deserve their karma.
4. “You don’t have to worry about him/her.” People really need to realize this is code for you 100% need to worry about them.

A guy from my course has been bugging me over the idea of giving him an affirmation of my feelings for him. I am not sure what kind of affirmation he needs. An affirmation from me that he can leave his girlfriend to jump ship with a new girl? Or an affirmation from me that I am okay with my man leaving his gf so that he can repeat the act in the future? Either way, I only want to be in one where I feel valued and proud to claim my rightful place.

He asserts being with his gf makes him feel like a 10/10, while I make him feel like a 2/10 (Btw I only know about him in a rs midway into knowing him). Imo, it is not my job to make him a 10/10 or a 2/10, because a person’s intrinsic value is what makes the number.

I can be with a man who is a 2/10 or a man who is a 10/10, but no matter what value people label him, I chose him because he is a 10/10 in my eye, and even if he is not, I know that I can make up for the rest of it. So no bro. I do not wish for you to be a better man for me. Instead, please focus on being a better man for your gf and work towards the shared goals. As much as you want me out of your life, the feelings are mutual. We are not good for each other.

Here are what netizens think:

• A very confusing post. He’s asking for your affirmation, which means he likes you? Then his gf makes him feel 10/10, while you only make him feel like a 2/10. And then he wants you out of his life. Simi sai is going on?

• Affirmation is actually a type of love language, you are still in contact with him because he is giving you a gift? It also could be you giving him the physical touch in exchange for act of service… either way you guys are not spending enough quality time to access on this situation.

• Finally. Someone who sees the huge red flag as red and not rose-tinted.

Daughters in law of Singapore, how is your relationship with your mother in law?

I (f28) am currently staying at my fiancés (m27) place together with his mother (f60). His parents have separated and his mom is very attached to him.

Before he met me, he would eat dinners with his mother every day and watch tv with her every night. She would also stay up late to wait for him in the couch. Now that he has me, he spends most of his time with me.

She treats me like invisible, only being cordial. The only ones she says to me are acknowledging my hellos. If I don’t greet her she would ignore me.

When she comes home, she speaks to my fiancé and offers him food only, without looking at me or offering even though I’m right next to him.

She has also been taking her time to look for a house after the divorce. She says things like she doesn’t want to stay with us after our marriage in our new house but her actions are the opposite.

In fact, she even claimed that hdb would reserve flats for divorced people and has been dragging on the process of getting a house by saying that she is emailing hdb and wanting to try for sbf instead of getting a resale.

When my fiancé stood up for me and said she could only stay till June next year, she got all passive aggressive and ask why he has to be so calculative with her. And even asked him why he gave me the assurance that she would be out in six months.

Why can’t she understand that all new couples want their alone time with each other? I wonder if being with a person whose mom is so attached to him will pose many more such problems in future.

My mother treats my fiancé really well and she shows us both love and care. I don’t know how I feel about my mil and if she is going to stay with us in our new home for at least six months, shouldn’t she at least make an effort?

Tl:dr My mother in law is treating me like invisible. I suspect she is secretly annoyed that I took her son from her.