VP on an all company call told us all that “if you want to work only 40 hours a week don’t let the door hit you when you leave”.

Let me preface this to let you know that of the 500 people in the company about 100 are sales people who get commissions. Another 25 get performance based bonuses. 70 are salaried with OT. The remaining 300+ are exempt salaried with no bonus and no commission.

So the Partner (VP) that runs this division had an all team call. On the call was the typical you rah rah sales stuff to get people fired up.

But then he tells us that if only want to work 40 hours a week that you should leave the company because we are planning on GROWING FAST!

In the 2.5 years I was there, not one single person on my team got a raise. So I started asking around. The teammates in my location had NEVER gotten a raise. One person has been there 6.5 years. Not a single raise for ANYONE on the team since they started.

I cannot believe the gall of someone to tell the whole company who hasn’t gotten a raise, doesn’t get any profit sharing, gets no bonuses or commissions that they should want to work 50+ plus hours a week when they get LITERALLY NOTHING IN RETURN FOR THAT.

Literally the only people who will get rich are the 12 partners in the company and perhaps some of the sales team.

How are people this disconnected from reality?

Netizens’ comments

1. Time to go OP. You should only be required to work your 40 and then you should be free. This guy is an a-hole who thinks he owns you – get away. good luck finding something better.
2. This is an excellent way to get me to work 30 hours a week.
3. I really hope, when some snotty owner says something like this, that the vast majority of the staff just walk out. It would just be karma.
4. Best way to keep a door hitting you on the way out is to kick it down and do some damage on your way out.

Every time I think I’m starting to get any amount of financial stability, something happens

The last time I was starting to get anywhere close to being able to put money in savings or do anything other than struggle to break even, my bike was immediately totaled.

I relied on it for work and wasn’t able to work for months afterward so I didn’t make any money for over six months.

Once that finally got sorted out, I had nearly paid off all the debts I accrued during those months and then my partner lost her job and I had to pay all our bills until she found a new one.

Once I had almost finished paying off all the debt I accrued during those months, I got COVID and couldn’t work for a month.

I had nearly paid off all the debts I accrued during that month, then my cat had $1000+ in emergency vet bills.

I had just started paying off that debt when I nearly died of sepsis and was hospitalized and couldn’t work for a month.

Not really even sure where to start with that. I can finally work again, but. I mean. What next. What next.

This has been happening for about 28 consecutive years, I’ve tried putting it out there, tried not putting it out there. Nothing makes a difference, it’s always the same.

Netizens’ comments

1. I can relate to this also. It is the worst. You’re not alone.
2. I feel you on this! Same thing happens to me. I wish there was a good response or answer but please know you’re not alone.
3. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. It’s super tough, for sure, and know you’re not alone!
   I was/am in a similar situation at the moment and it’s super annoying because even with some extra money, it always feels like it needs to go somewhere — anywhere BUT my savings.
   I had to really cut back on any extra spending where I could, and then with all medical bills (and even other general bills), I made phone calls to establish payment plans on almost everything.
   It’s going to sting a bit knowing that you’re making payments multiple months until it’s all paid off … but it was the only way I was able to budget together something that let me live at the bare minimum each month.

Dating in Singapore

Some context I am a 29M . Funny, in shape, good job, ok looking guy (6-7/10) 167 70 kg.

My experience with dating app is ok getting a few matches, went for a few dates but nothing worth screaming for. Have been getting attention from ladies at work. But most of them are attached / married.

Obviously I am past the age where you find puppy love etc in school where you go get married happily ever after. But how do you find “love” since we are all already grown adults etc?

I am also not the kind of guy that just get into a relationship just for the sake of it. I am not being particularly picky. Just want to find the spark and someone I can gel well together with.

What do you think is the way to better my luck both in dating app and irl ?

Join more social group in hope to meet more people? Zhng my profile?

To me, finding the one is the hardest life quest I set out to do. I will take any help there is. Thanks in advance

Netizens’ comments

1. Being funny is something other people see and appreciate in you, not something one should claim to be.
2. Just a side note, and base on my observation, everybody always thinks they are above average.
   Great that you think you’re a 6/7, hope you find someone who thinks you’re a 10/10. That’s the key.
3. Attention from ladies when they’re married/attached (and they’re aware you’re aware) is the only time most ladies will give you attention.
   It’s so their intentions won’t be misinterpreted as anything other than platonic
   Maybe I’m jaded and bitter but looking for a “spark” is gonna end up wasting your time and leaving hurt feelings all over the place. If you’re physically attracted, can connect on an emotional level and have similar values, that’s good enough IMO
   Though maybe that’s what the spark is in the first place!
4. Stop targeting to find the one. Just use the dating app as a means to get to know more girls and be genuinely interested to get to know the person with no expectations
5. It’s good you have so much confidence in yourself.. but I agree with the other comment that being in shape does not contribute much to a long term relationship. It’s probably going to take more time than you wish for to find a suitable partner. It may also take more than a date or a different situation to see that spark in someone. In all honesty, I would guess that any kind of women may find it more comfortable to hang around guys they know are safe.. so I am not particularly sure about the type of attention you’re getting..
6. May be unpopular but I’m gonna say what no one else is saying.
   Unfortunately, you’re relatively short. And in a superficial world, that probably takes 1-2 points off your 6-7 score.
   Defo not saying that makes things impossible but that may be an insight as to why your dating pool isn’t wider.
   I have friends who have hard rules for 180cm+ before they’ll even consider pursuing further.
   I’d say to just keep at it. That’s all you can do.

My [25F] future mother-in-law [55F] bought a white dress to wear our wedding

My fiancé [25M] and I are getting married in a few months and I was sent a photo from someone from his side of the family of the dress his mother is planning to wear to our wedding.

It’s a mid length, long sleeve, elegant dress that comes in several different colors but she chose the white one.

The thing is, me and his mother have gotten along very well up until this. She definitely knows the unspoken rule about wearing white to a wedding so I can’t fathom why she would choose a white dress to wear to our wedding.

I don’t even know what I should say to her or if I should say anything at all or just let her wear the dress and suck it up? Any advice would be appreciated.

Netizens’ comments

• Your fiance needs to have a conversation with his mother.
  • Do NOT be the one who handles this. Unless they peesonally attack you (and sometimes even then), your fiance is responsible for wrangling his side of the family at all times. It should never be your job, just like making your side be respectful isn’t his job.
    If your fiance can not make his mother respect your relationship, or at least hold his mother accountable, you have bigger problems than that dress. If he isn’t willing to, then you probably need to reconsider.
    If you somehow get to marriage with this still being the case, don’t make an issue of it. Just photoshop john cena over her in all the photos. Or ask the photographers to crop her out and delete any photos where they can’t.
• Your fiancé should talk to his mom about this. Not you.
  If he can’t face her and tell her she won’t be allowed to wear it, then seriously reconsider getting married right now. Is he going to stand up to when she complains about where you want to live or how often you come over or if she wants a key to your house or what you name your kids, etc.?
• I would let her embarrass herself. It’s not like she’s going to steal the spotlight

I only feel happy when I get to interact with women I barely know

Like some typical single males, I feel lonely almost all the time and I constantly have the urge to interact with women.

But the real problem with me is I do have female friends who I can casually chat and meet up with but they cannot fix my loneliness anymore because I got to “know them too much”. I don’t feel attracted to them anymore.

I feel my brain is kind of screwed up, I have no clue why I like meeting new female friends but I lose both romance/interest to them real quick once I get to know them as friend, and only feel happy and less lonely when there are female stranger around.

What’s wrong with me?

Netizens’ comments

1. I think it’s being addicted to the thrill of the chase, but don’t worry you are not alone.
2. Yes, that’s what happens when you get friend-zoned. You lose interest.
3. Dont worry, its not just you. I know of many men, married or single, also like to meet and interact with new women. Especially if the girl is pretty
4. Maybe you just haven’t found the one. Don’t give up. I agree that meeting diff women & getting to know them is fun & sometimes you’ll meet one that is not really interesting.
5. We were evolved to be like that bro, this is just the quiet part which we don’t say out loud lol. What to do about it? Get a gf/wife or pay or play or lun.
6. That’s what geylang is for
7. Man. You too on liao. Maybe go Thailand to loose some steam
8. I agree with some of the comments here, you are addicted to the thrill of the chase instead and not the woman.

Is it possible to he happy only being intimate with prostitutes?

I’m a guy in my mid twenties and unfortunately I am monstrously ugly and on the autism spectrum. I know I will never find another human being capable of loving me, so I wanted to ask, can a similar level of satisfaction be attained from visiting prostitutes every once in a while?

I don’t necessarily plan on f-ing them, just holding hands and talking.

Netizens’ comments

1. Dude don’t demoralise yourself
   You look hella good just be more confident
   And about the thing with prostitutes, they can help you “finish” and stuff but real relationship feels better.
2. So, two things. First, it is impossible to say if you’ll be happy or happier if you would start visiting prostitutes once in a while. It is definitely possible for *some* people to be find some happiness through that channel, but we don’t know if you are one of these people.
   Second, I do doubt whether you (only) need them in your life. You sound like you might be suffering from self-esteem issues. Rather, or at least in addition to, visiting prostitutes, I would also be searching for a good therapist that may help you with that.
3. Ok bro. If you say so. Let’s say you’re a 3 at the moment. I’d like to give yo some advice, feel free to ignore/
   -Start working out. Go to the gym for a year, get a personal trainer to help you if possible. If not, watch tons of videos on youtube. A fit body will make any ugly face look much better and add to the overall picture. Trust me, many women don’t even want a pretty looking guy. Having a nice body will give you a crazy confidence boost.
   -Get good at things that you can change. You can’t change your face (without expensive surgeries that make it even worse in long term), but you can improve at many things. Find some cool hobbies, watch documentaries, buy some udemy courses and become an overall fun and interesting person.
   -Eat good food. If your diet is poor, your skin is going to suffer. Cut out sugar and junk food.
   -Take good care of yourself. Get a skincare routine, go to the barbershop and find yourself a style that fits you well.
   -Optional. I don’t know what you do for a job, but having a good career can also go a long way. I’m not saying that you should find a gold digger – just being able to be a provider also goes a long way with some women
   All added together – you can become a 5 or even 6. Trust me, doing this work and going to the gym is like going to therapy. At least it was for me.
   If you don’t care about my advice – I think that what you need is a friend. There are many people who find themselves in a similar situation as you. You just gotta find the right people.

Wishing you all the best!

Can I prevent certain guest that my spouse invite from coming to my house?

My spouse and I own a HDB 50:50 and we will be separating due to marriage breakdown.

She recently invited her new partner to live in the house for a few days a week and we now sleep in separate rooms. I’m not happy about the guest coming so often and tried to negotiate but to no avail. She even gave out our house keys.

I’m wondering if there is anything I can do about this at the moment?

What if she decides to let the partner live in the house for 1 week straight or 1 month straight or even 1 an entire year?

Netizens’ comments

1. Invite your lady friend to stay over & be louder than them.
2. This is so weird. If your partner thinks this is normal behaviour it’s probably a good thing you’re divorcing. And how the hell is your wife’s new partner comfortable even visiting, some people are very odd.
3. Omg the audacity defies my imagination
4. Time to move out, and wait for the settlement. Not an enjoyable living situation to be in, for your own sanity you need to leave.
   Especially weird if you sharing bed with your wife when the partner is not there.
5. Talk to a lawyer and ask what are the options. Assuming that you’re waiting MOP. If it’s me i would appeal to surrender the flat. Sure i wont be making money but i wont want to have them earn a profit as well.
6. Rent out that 50% you own and move out somewhere else? Why are you even thinking in this manner doesn’t it make you feel worse?
7. Invite your buddies over, very regularly. Sleepovers on weekends etc. To the point that it gets her annoyed/legally uncomfortable. Lay it to your friends that you need them right now. Maybe do shift rotations.

I (30f) didn’t tell my ex (31m) that I gave birth to his biological kids (twins) and he’s now annoyed at me
Tldr; he has just discovered this now and he’s messaging me asking me why I didn’t tell him and he’s wanting to meet my kids but I don’t want him involved in their lives.

When I got pregnant we were at a bad point and he had broken off with me because he thought I was cheating with my guy best friend, I wasn’t – we knew each other since we were kids and there was no romance, and my husband (not ex, my current husband) is fine with me seeing him still and let’s me talk to who I want.

My ex was controlling and accused me of cheating after I stayed over at his place. I admitted that that was wrong and learned from my mistake that it looked bad to him and said I wouldn’t do that ever again but my ex still split from me.

I found out I was pregnant shortly after, contacted my ex and he told me that he wasn’t going to come back to me and “it’s not mine ask one of your other boyfriends”.

I then blocked his Facebook and cut contact completely as he wanted no responsibility and just told me he knew I would get an abortion which is what he thought I’d done but I didn’t.

Anyways, I met a new man who I’ve fallen in love with and we are now married and I’m currently pregnant again. He’s the emotional father of my kids and he is their dad even if not biological. They call him dad and he is their dad in a way. He’s raised them and loved them as his own.

Now, my boyfriend’s mom has (don’t ask me why) looked at my Instagram. She was nosey so maybe but it’s odd she’s done that after so long, maybe because he’s single and she’s thinking of his exes?

And she saw that I had 2 kids the right age that do look a bit like him, they both look like him especially my son.

But she brought it up to him I think and he’s now messaged me on Instagram asking if they are his which surprised me.

I told him they were and he didn’t reply for a while until he then sent me a massive text saying that it’s unfair I made him miss out on so many years with his kids and that he wants to see them.

I explained that they already have a dad and that they won’t know him. I don’t want to disrupt my kids lives like that because they’re going to school soon and I want them to settle well.

His mom and other family are now harassing my social media and I’m not sure on the best course. Maybe let him meet them? I don’t want to send them away with a stranger now.

Maybe he’s changed but I still don’t want him in their lives as he’s a complete stranger and even though he’s biologically their father he’s not their emotional father. I’m not sure on the right thing to do.